Bastard Street

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Stret3.JPG Amusing Location
This location is on the list of Amusing Locations in Malton
Bastard Street

Raines Hills [63, 18]

Fruin Alley Wey Row Sherwen Crescent
Tabor Plaza Bastard Street the Hebditch Building
Norie Bank the Fildes Building Templeton Bank

Basic Info:

  • A Street is a city block containing no buildings or monuments. There are a variety of other names besides Street including Alley, Avenue, Boulevard, Drive, Grove, Lane, Row, Square, Walk, Place, etc.
  • This is an empty block, and cannot be barricaded.

Bastard Street


Bastard Street is the famous haunt of bastards throughout Malton. Both actual bastards (those whose parents were not married at the time of their birth) as well as people who just plain suck associate themselves with the street. Famous residents including Grigory Rasputin and Steven Seagal reside in the area. To understand the nature of the street it is important to understand the nature of Grigory Rasputin. Rasputin was from a Siberian peasant family and became a holy man of the kylysty sect, a sect that found religious fulfillment through ecstasy of the senses sex. Secret police reports and investigations showed that his very active sexual activity was limited mainly to actresses, prostitutes and Tsarinas. He was executed for indecent exposure on the streets of Moscow. The place is attributed to having the ghosts of The Blackmore Bastard Brigade haunt the place, and is noted that people can sometimes hear the laughter of the drunken Bastards while they drink their mead and praise Odin.


The street was founded back in Ancient Roman times when Malton was known as Rome. Bastard Street was thus named as Julius Cesear himself regularly impregnated nameless whores and forced them to give birth to 'bastards' out on the 'street'. The name was popularised in the late 19th century as all sorts of undesirable members of society flocked to give birth at the street, believing the native American spirits would heal them.