|The Broadway Zombies|
|Group Numbers:||3 and groaning|
|Goals:||Z!ng and Grangz!|
|Recruitment Policy:||Undeath Required; Talent Optional|
|Contact:||Via our Forum|
The Broadway Zombies are a zombie group which aims to provide singing, dancing, and flashy light displays in every suburb of Malton. Their battle cry is "Z!ng an grangz ah za gam! Brazzah Zahmbahz!"
Malton's modest theatre district was one of the first locations hit by the zombie plague, but ironically one of the last places it was actually noticed. This isn't terribly surprising when one considers the large amounts of make-up employed by the average theatrical troupe.
The Denham Players, one such troupe, were performing the hit musical Zombie Prom at an outdoor theatre in Darkside's Denham Park. As their run entered its third week, they noticed audience members dressing as the eponymous creatures. Ragged clothing and a grayish cast to the skin were predominant among theatre-goers that fateful July night. The house manager flicked the lights time and time again as a reminder that patrons should take their seats, but no one paid any heed. As the ushers began to guide the fans to their seats, their necks were broken and loud moaning overtook the theatre. Thrilled at the reception they were receiving, the players graaghed loudly and came out to meet their fans. Only too late did they learn the truth: these were not fans, but the famished undead seeking to feast on theatre-goers and thespians alike.
Their theatre ruined, the Denham Players had nothing more to lose. They joined the undead for a time, shambling through Malton, feasting primarily on those who had denied them the necessary financial backing to rent a more secure performance space. Yet after a time, the Denham Players' love of theatre, song, and dance overcame their desire for revenge. They reconvened a few blocks north of their ruined stage, vowing to once again bring entertainment and joy to the citizens of Malton.
The Broadway Zombies are not taking resumes at this time. Please check back later!
Back for Barhah! Fall 2015
The Broadway Zombies are back in town! For the first half of October, we'll be enforcing our new "Barricade Plan" in Darkside. In the latter part of the month we will journey up to the homeland to perform Titanic at the Kenworthy Building and have some delicious znagz as we celebrate the 5th of November.
Please do not kill the performers or drink The Atlantic Ocean. Salt water actually makes you more thirsty.
|Remember, Remember the 5th of November|
|This user or group supports the idiots giving a free meal to the undead in Ridleybank. On the 5th of November, they will march on the choked heart of Malton and be slaughtered mercilessly. Death will be theirs, and with it, humiliation!|
We are on extended hiatus while Old Style repairs the sets. Survivors and zombies who enjoy the shows are encouraged to express their appreciation by throwing bananas rather than furniture.
Winter 2006 Engagements
The Broadway Zombies are proud to be a part of the Malton Zoo Telethon.
Mid to late January we will be performing for the Burchell Arms Regulars in Rolt Heights in an adaptation of Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Andrea Doria will star as Ace Frehley. We have it on good authority that there will be a lot of herbal supplements available for performers and attendees alike.
Autumn 2006 Lecture Series
The Quartly Study Group has graciously invited the Broadway Zombies to lecture at Quartly Library. t Snarfo will lecture on the life of a performing zombie. Andrea Doria will lecture on zombie water safety.
Transcripts of the lectures are available for those unable to attend.
Summer 2006 - On Tour!
The Broadway Zombies are booking their summer tour If you are interested in acquiring tickets or securing their appearance at your venue, please Graagh loudly in our general direction with details. We take requests! We are also available for funerals, divorces, and bar mitzvahs!
The Broadway Zombies are proud to announce their first Tour appearance at Caiger Mall. Annah Grab Zar Bang Bang is a classic stage musical based on the life of Zombie hunter-turned-Zombie Annah Aagrah and features the hit song "Nah b!zzn!zz agg zhah b!zzn!zz." Join us for this sure-to-be-a-hit production starring Snarfo as Annah and introducing Grognor as Buffalo Bill.
Grease at Nott Auto Repair [98, 3] in Dulston. Due to Man Up's tour, we will be performing Grease until their return, or until we get bored. Come enjoy the heartwarming story of nice-girl Sandy who becomes a total skank to please her greaser boyfriend, Danny. Starring Grognor as Danny, Andrea Doria as Sandy and Snarfo as Rizzo. Introducing Crap Fairy as Kenickie and Stinky McBean as Frenchy.
Club Cocker, at the invitation of Man Up. Andrea had a delightful duet with Kitty Eater.
September 11 -14:
The Raahn G!ng (The Lion King) at Malton City Zoo. This dramatic and inspiring musical starred Snarfo as Simba, Stinky McBean as Scar, Andrea Doria in a double role as Mufasa and Timon, Crap Fairy as Pumbaa, and the vocal talents of Old Style, who zang the opening number, "Circle of Mrh?" With a special appearance by Grognor, who thrilled both zombies and humans alike with his stunning performance. Featuring special guest stars from JPS as the hyenas, reviewed by critics as some of the best "HAR HAR HAR"ers ever witnessed. Bravo! Special thanks to Dr. Ransom for the transcript.
Still Coming Up: G-zaz Graaahz Zabbarzaar, a rock musical depicting the personal and political lives of Jesus and Judas. Postponed indefinitely because we don't really want a Mrh.
September 20: CANCELLED
Special engagement at The Fortress's one-year anniversary. This show has been canceled due to inadequate facilities.
The Star-Spangled Banner
Tea for Two
Manha Manha (from The Muppets)
Climb Every Mountain (from The Sound of Music)
Memory (from Cats)
If I Were A Rich Man (from The Fiddler on the Roof)
Music of the Night (from Phantom of the Opera)
Seasons of Love (from Rent)
Jesus Christ Superstar (main theme)
Barber of Seville
Maria (from West Side Story)
America (from West Side Story)
Summer Days (from Grease)
Beauty School Drop Out (from Grease)
Greased Lightning (from Grease)
Luck be a Lady (from Guys and Dolls)
On My Own (from Les Miserables)
We're In the Money (from 42nd Street)
I Only Have Eyes For You (from 42nd Street)
Mamma Mia (from Mamma Mia)
Money, Money, Money (from Mamma Mia)
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (from Mamma Mia)
Knowing Me, Knowing You (from Mamma Mia)
One (from A Chorus Line)
Hamster dance (when drunk)
As a professional touring company, the Broadway Zombies require certain accommodations in place at all performance locations. Please make sure your facility is able to supply the following items for the comfort and convenience of our performers:
Hot and cold brain hors d'œuvre
a large deli tray with a variety of meats and cheeses
a selection of herbal teas
a crapload of good chocolate
7 pairs of clean tube socks
the head of Alfredo Garcia
root beer floats
round-the-clock security personnel
fancy hotel rooms for each member with room service
limo to and from performance location
The Broadway Zombies support the No Random Revive Policy. If you revive us, we may do any of the following:
1) Jump out the nearest window
2) Punch you in the nose
3) Punch each other in the nose
4) Walk around annoying people with 26 letters instead of the 8 we're accustomed to using.
Some of us have brain rot. Some of us don't. So take your chances, or revive smart.