Chilcott Auto Repair (Wykewood)
|Chilcott Auto Repair|
|Chilcott Auto Repair
|This location has a McZeds™ restaurant.|
Now Open! Serving you 24 hours every day through the apocalypse.
Conveniently located near the free-running intersection of four thriving suburbs (Wykewood, Nixbank, Foulkes Village, and Ruddlebank), this newest jewel in the fast-food corporation's crown bellows like a foghorn of hope to the grumbling tummies of survivors everywhere. C'mon down today for some fresh-ground Zomburgers; or just kick-back with a Fillet O' Flesh in one of our "classic style" booths, replete with cherry-red cushions and quick-release tabletops for convenient emergency barricading. During the minutes between crushing zombie assaults, you might enjoy our (limited time only) Sweetzedbread Sandwich™ in nearby Merryweather Park. Whatever your appetite, your McZeds Wykewood manager is ready to take your order, and, at your request, to recycle you into fresh-ground Zomburger meat should you fall during one of the countless sieges laying waste to this gleaming new branch.
McNews! June 2, 2007: McZeds Wykewood is thriving as are the four corners. Manager has left the franchise in the able hands of the locals while going on a trip to Vantar's Safehouse and McCloud's Pub.
McNews! May 5, 2007: Manager on holiday, touring Malton. McZeds is left in the able hands of the Wykewood survivors.
McNews! April 17, 2007: Crushed. If anyone finds the manager's limbs, please bring them to the trauma unit at Josephine General hospital in Wykewood.
...er. Would it help if we told you they were delicious? --Pickmansmodel 21:30, 17 May 2007 (BST)
- Quite So Pickmansmodel! Although I will have to sample my limbs myself to confirm or refute this "delicious" term you throw around with such abandon. PS: How did you put that cool box in the screen?
McNews! April 9, 2007:Well things are looking up in Wykewood and the lower SW Malton area, and that means good things for the hungry tummies of SW Malton's survivors! The massive unprocessed meat uprising headed by the RRF seems to have can-canned off into the sunset, leaving only the usual herd of sweet and delectable zombah morsels stumbling about the burb. C'mon down now and try our new Bone-Marrow McNuggets, limited time only!
McNews! February 20, 2007:Fresh from a rather well organized feral onslaught, McZeds Wykewood had the pleasure of hosting the RRF's hilarious strike team, AU10, in an impromptu meatburger jamboree. Unfortunately the steaming hot entrees at this particular fiesta were of the HarmanBurger type; but fortunately the intrepid manager of this glistening Wykewood branch was far away during the zombah debacle and was thus spared an ignominious end. Better luck next time, Zombahz!
In a side note, if anyone can explain why the Zomburger warming lamps are all busted, do tell. It appears someone was laying on them.
Anyone interested in joining the McZeds Wykewood team, or seeking a partnership to open his or her own McZeds in SW Malton, is encouraged to contact the manager here.
More Pressing Help Wanted
Wykewood McZeds is currently enjoying a crushing assault by unprocessed zomburger meat. Anyone interested in preserving this glistening bastion of fast, friendly, delicious eats is invited to try and resurrect this ransacked mess. Management is currently trying to keep the ranges sizzling whilst not becoming dead. Free FreezyZed desert treats to everyone who responds!
An Esteemed Past...
Preceding the zombie-meat outbreak, Chilcott Auto Repair had nobly served the automotive needs of Wykewood and the neighboring communities for over 20 years: that's a lot of know-how, a lot of experience, and a lot of very satisfied customers. Its certified technicians (specialists who had dedicated years to repairing the most complicated systems in your car) were trusted enough to be the exclusive mechanics of nearby Lavington Crescent Police Department and Vincent Square Police Dept. Following the outbreak of certified Grade-A meatage, those 20 years of know-how combined to provide the proper tools for servicing south-west Malton's newest need: quality food and service at an affordable cost.
...Promises A Delicious Future!
Enter: your friendly neighborhood McZeds. The hard-earned mantle of Chilcott's esteemed reputation, dropped unceremoniously by Marty Chilcott whilst screaming for dear life amidst the first (and freshest!) zed assault, has been assumed by your Mczeds Wykewood franchise owner and manager. Local ownership ensures a local touch, such as: selecting only the finest personnel from SW Malton; and choosing only the choicest cuts of rotting cadaver meat guaranteed to be 45% free of worms, Salmonella typhimurium, Staphylococcus aureus, and Acinetobacterbotulis! [Note: guarantee does not apply to The Rotter™].
GRAND OPENING 16 October 2006. Our windows are wide-open for your free-running entry, so hop on in! Be sure to visit our corporate site for complete menu, store locator, coupons, and solutions to the McMaze.
Disclosures The party-poopers at the Malton Police Department require we publish the following largely irrelevant data, which it is suggested one read only if one is unnecessarily concerned with E.coli O157:H7: McZeds Incorporated is not responsible and will not be held liable for illness cause by bacteria formed during the logarithmic phase of bacterial growth, when proteolytic bacteria approach their maximum cell density, and extracellular proteases secreted by the bacteria apparently break down the connective tissue between muscle fibers, allowing the bacteria to penetrate the meat, as is estimated happens 99.025% of the time during zombification.