Church of the Resurrection/Complaints Page

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Complaints Page

Got a complaint or gripe with the Church of the Resurrection? Well now there's no need to edit our Wiki front page! Put all of your gripes, accusations, complaints, and just plain I-hate-you-fags right here! Just a few simple guidelines need to be followed to ensure your comments won't be deleted:
  • Give a reason why you hate us, even if it's very basic, like 'it's obvious you zerg', or 'you use spies' , or just something. Don't just call us buttmunches or something equally clever, otherwise the legitimate complaints will be drowned in the flames.
  • Preferably no links at all. I mean, why do you need 'em?
  • Don't say anything illegal which pretty much means libel. If you don't know what libel is, look it up or ask a lawyer. Probably no-one will ever manage to break this rule, but if you do, your edit gets deleted.
  • If we can't understand what you're saying, we might delete it. On the other hand, we might just keep it there so everyone can laugh at it. Think about it.
  • Leave your name, or team, so that we can get back to you...

Pretty simple, no? So, if you need to get something off your chest, spill! And please leave our main page alone.

Current Complaints

Please place new complaints at the top of the list.

The Truth about the Battle of The Penning Building

My named is Joseph Temple, member of The Brotherhood of Steel. I was present at the seige of the Penning Building. To make a long story short we did win the battle. You may of broken our barricades and destoryed our generators but you did not crush our spirit. Shortly after you left we rebuilt our fortress and fueled our generators, thanks to our allies, the SWA. The only victory you manage to get is destorying my favorite stuffed monkey. Besides that I have no complaints. See you on the other side of the 'cades.--Joseph Temple 01:52, 1 May 2009 (BST)

SRM formal Declaration Of War

The Socialist Republic of Malton declares war on you for these reasons: you use spies,you PK,you muck up revive points,you zerg, and you would no doubt call us godless commies, we await your reply at this location[Republic Of Malton Talk Page]

--Steven Blacktip 06:27, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

St Marks Cathedral

Greetings, fellow Zambahz. I recently made a pilgrimage with my zed [1], noted in the Book of Life, pretty much across the length of Malton to the St. Marks Cathedral (I was quite near the North Quarantine boundary when I begun the journey), only to find it locked shut and teeming with still-breathing heathens. A few local freals were rounded up to help clear the building, but there was no sign of any Church personnel to perform my Baptism under the eyes of Sweet Zombie Jesus. I have since relocated to nearby Shackleton, only a few days' walking distance away, but I'd rather not be told my journey was in vain. --Monsieur 12:41, 17 December 2006 (GMT)

St Lukes Cathedral

The Black Knights and i have been waiting ages for you to attack St Lukes, are you coming or not?!?!?!?!?. --Vidad12 20:18, 28 October 2006 (BST)

The Black Knights are waiting for you at St Lukes so get your buts in gear and start shuffeling that way and quickly. I'm getting bored of waiting and have to resort to killing the ocasional zed that wanders by St Lukes.--Keith 921 16:05, 16 November 2006 (UTC)keith 921

The Black Knights are waiting for you so are you coming or not and also hurry up and reply for gods sake.--Keith 921 18:05, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

St Patricks Day Parade

We at the newly foarmed MAIM Society were only trying to restore the beautiful St John's Catherdral and then you came along and started chewing on our limbs!? Why we would of respected you religon, bar the nibbling on us part! We would of quietly swep the floor or painted the roof while you sang your hyumes and said your prayers.

But for a group of 20 we did do a good job of holding the horde off for 5 days! That much you must admit.

--MC Tic Tac 22 March 2006 00:09am (GMT)

The Church's Reply
You obviously have your priorities completely mixed up. Instead of moaning about your inane decorating scheme, you should be praising and thanking Zombie Jesus for His willingness to bring you over into the second life! As for your theology, let it be known that St Patrick's day is nothing but a Satanic Catholic cult day that celebrates another one of the various Catholic demons called "saints" by the unwashed masses. We will not apologize for shutting down such a day. As you well know, the Catholics worship the "godess" Mary and the devil's henchman, the Pope, instead of the one true god, Zombie Jesus. Furthermore, the Church of the Resurrection is unimpressed by your "respect" for our religion, which only shows how your own flabby "belief system" fails to distinguish between truth and falsehood. Know this: not only are there false religions and false ideologies, but this ridiculous relativism of yours is one of the false paths that leads most quickly to an eternity of scalding hellfire and damnation.

You get revived too easily! What about improving a lil bit?

Hey, I'm happy to find all those CoTR members outside and around Screech Lane PD, and even inside it. Unluckily, as I learnt from your previous assaults on Julie GH, when alive you guys, er, tend to spy a bit. I haven't any problem with it, I can PK you (and over and over and over, by the way); only, it's boring!
I mean, I'd love to do something else than spend all my daily APs to get the ammo and come and PK your spies one after the other: can't you stay dead for a while? Can't you come as zeds? I was thinking that your, er, church, was about converting people to zombies and stuff like that, not being mass-converted to human!
Have to PK your as-, er, characters, every single day is starting to bore me: please try to get a lil bit more skilled and to avoid being revived, so we can happily clash as it was initially meant to be: bullets vs claws&teeth.
I'm sorry to say that, if I'll continue to meet revived, er, members of your clan, I'll have to change suburb to meet zombies at least able to stay zombie for a while. Otherwise I'd risk to be bored to death, not even willing to stand up as undead...
Best regards, Danjar 14:54, 13 Feb 2006 (GMT).

The Church's Reply
First, Danjar, do not fear that by PK'ing us you do us an injury, for we find the return to the unnaturally breathing state deeply unpleasant. When "revived", we long for the moment we can hear again the buzzing of our Master's voice lulling us back to the simple zombie pleasures of tooth and claw. Only our love for SINNERS LIKE YOU could persuade us to spend any time at all re-experiencing that hideous state you harmanz call "life."
Yes, it is true that during our latest mission in Wyke Hills many of us have been revived, some repeatedly, especially in the neighborhood of Screech Lane Police Department. Thus our leadership's decision to make the Lodder Building (a vile cesspool of necrotech equipment, evil science, and a seemingly endless series of "scientists" inflicting revivification on innocent Undead) our next target. Yet, as we continue on our pilgrimage, the Church must keep in mind that revives are often a cry for help, the first indication that an infidel scientist has begun to heed the pangs of troubled conscience, and is trembling on the brink of conversion to the True Faith. Especially when the reviver has chosen a high-level COTR zombie in a neighborhood where we have been highly active for a week. Thus, when revived, many of us make the sacrifice of spending a day in harman form, preaching in the (admittedly distasteful) vowels and consonants of your heathen tongue.
Living the Second Life,
Lane Bryant

You broke my generator!

Curse you, CotR. I lugged a generator halfway across Malton, along with a can of fuel, and finally found a home for it at Julie General hospital, North Blythville. And then you lot broke it. And you spraypainted over my MPD graffito at Judge Road police station (though, credit where credit is due, the replacement was funny; you lot do have a sense of humor, perverse though it is).
Hendrik Casimir 04:43, 13 Jan 2006 (GMT)

The Church's Reply
Sweet Zombie Jesus is the only true Light, not your new-fangled electrum-lights. What's next, complaining that we destroyed your horse-less carriages? If the Tasty Father wanted lights inside your hospital, He would have made some sort of star or moon inside it. God can do that, just like He made the Sun stop revolving around the Earth at the battle of Jericho. Of course, you probably hold the heathen belief that the Sun doesn't revolve around the Earth, but instead the Earth revolves around the Sun. Clearly, that isn't true, because if the Earth were moving, we'd all fall off.
Rev. Dickie Fux

A rejoinder
Dear Rev. Fux, thank you for taking the time from what I'm sure is a busy schedule dismembering non-members to respond to my complaint. However, I regret to inform you that I find your explanation unsatisfactory. I refer you to the Sermon on the Mount, specifically Matthew 5:14-16 (CEV):
"A city built on top of a hill cannot be hidden, and no one would light a lamp and put it under a clay pot. A lamp is placed on a lampstand, where it can give light to everyone in the house. Make your light shine, so that others will see the good that you do and will praise your Father in heaven."
I did indeed install that generator for the specific purpose of "mak[ing my] light shine" and "giv[ing] light to everyone in the house," so it would appear that, by hampering me in this effort, your organization has violated the instructions handed down by your... deity? prophet? avatar? You'll have to excuse me, I'm not a religious person, so I have a hard time making sense of internally contradictory theological doctrine.
You are, incidentally, correct in your surmise that I am a heliocentrist. Much as I'd like to take the time to explain the works of Galileo and Newton to you, I fear it would be a waste of effort, since it is patently obvious the only way these thoughts will penetrate your skull is if they were scratched onto a 12-gauge slug (an impractical proposition) and fired at your head. Besides, I suspect I wouldn't survive the lunch break.
Hendrik Casimir 12:53, 14 Jan 2006 (GMT)

The Church's Reply
Our dear savour was talking about internal light. the light of discovering the one true correct path. Not some dirty oil/gasoline based lamp of the devil. You should be thanking us for saving the people in the hospital from the evil one and destroying that thing of all evil. Surely, if god had ment for you to have it there he would not have allowed us to nash through the wood planks and beds that act as blockers from the word to convert those inside and smash your evil genorator if he did not will it so. ---ramby 14:14, 14 Jan 2006 (GMT)

The use of ungrouped alts to PK members of resisting groups

I was killed twice by a player called JTOverholt that belongs to a group not of the Church. Some investigation revealed a member of your forum called jordan o who is at least active in the game and posts in the "planning room" thread. A post of his here contains a list of the MCV members to be used by the handy UDTool and I'd assume it would be helpful in identifying myself in a group. I've twice been player killed by this character with no provocation or justification. The timing and nature of the attacks just seems to coincide too well to be a random player interested in random violence. My complaint really is that using a revived member of the church to PK me would be one thing, but using an alt that belongs to a different group to pk me twice just reeks of underhandedness. I know the church uses the revived members to carry on attacks and tagging, but using unrelated characters to kill members of the opposition is just griefing. It's too bad your 100-odd members need to resort to those kinds of tactics to harass an already broken resistance. I didn't know the handful of MCV members were such a huge threat. --Wronghorn 02:11, 31 Dec 2005 (GMT)
The Church's Reply
We do not condone PKing, it makes people unclean. [[2]] We do use our members when alive, to spy and to break barricades from the inside, but we do not PK. Could you pelase provide a screen shot for verification of your two supposed PKings, then you "might" haev a case. As the good book says "Beware of false prohets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwadrly they are ravenous wolves." Mt: 7: 15
Also "you shall not murder" Ex 20:13
Response by Wronghorn
Ask and ye shall recieve. The first and the second occurances. I am aware the policy on revived members and although I personally don't like it, it is a legitimate RP method and I won't argue that point. The player is listed as the "Malton Police Force" which doesn't seem to have any relation to the CotR I can discern. I appreciate the quick response.--Wronghorn 02:45, 31 Dec 2005 (GMT)
The Church's Reply
The second one looks like the name was blurred out. And the first one is in a bank. I will tell you that the first will more then likely be brought up, but unless the last one can be posted in its original form, I can not say wether it will be brought up of not.
Better evidence
MSPaint has poor jpeg compression. I'll try and post the raw bitmap of the second one. Fullscreen shot of the first event and the second event. I had to use gif format, but I think it's a little clearer.

What your Holy Book says...

Since you keep on trying to hide the truth, I've got to post it again:
You say "Consumption of every tasty morsel of Flesh in the city of Malton. Consumption of every savory drop of Blood." Leviticus 7:26-27 says: "And wherever you live, you must not eat the blood of any bird or animal. If anyone eats blood, that person must be cut off from his people." Survey says: You go against your own teachings. And you sin, but that's another thing entirely. Unless you revive yourself after you eat one of the suvivors, which you don't. Or, if you do, you have human characters as well and you are, in fact, zerging.
Devin Wright 12:00, 19 Dec 2005 (GMT)

The Church's Reply
Thank you for your complaint.
The operative words in the verses you quote are "blood of any bird or animal." There is no mention of what we call, in our own language, "harmanz." Some heathens translate this word as "humans," but in our language, it has a meaning closer to your word "groceries."
In any event, you miss the Significance of the Ritual we perform when eating. As Sweet Zombie Jesus said, "Take, eat; this is my Body." and "Drink ye all of it; For this is my Blood." As we state on our group page, other branches of Christianity try to deny the Truth that Jesus endorsed the consumption of human flesh. The Church of the Resurrection knows that only the Flesh of harmanz can truly fulfill the sacred Duty of Raising us from the filthy lives led by such as yourself, up to the Blessed life we lead in the Church.
Rev. Dickie Fux

Curse You, Mark and Derrin!

My complaint is that this reminds me of the same mind tactics that mark and derrin would use... which means that you, are a very creepy thing, and shouldnt exist... anyway you said spill so I said my peice...
Ringseed2 20:50, 22 Nov 2005 (GMT)

Confused Artist?

I'm not sure exactly who to speak to, but one of the Urban Undead players pointed me in your direction due to one of my images being on your Art and Hymns page. The Zombie Jesus cartoon, the watercolor one ("Why is my Messiah trying to Eat my Brain?"), is one that I painted for my site a while back. I'm not sure why someone would have cropped it and claim it as their own, but, well, such is the case. You guys are more than free to use it as long as you at least label where you got it. (Use by permission from something, I really don't know). I'm just glad there are more people embracing the whole "Zombie Jesus" concept.
Btw the comic was originally found here:
Again, I hope this is the right place to address this. I don't mind you guys using it...just credit it properly. Thanks for your understanding and your love of the Zombie Messiah.
Oh and if this ISN'T the right place for this sort of thing, my email address is
jared von hindman ( Jared 19:48, 22 Nov 2005 (GMT)

The Church's Response
Jared, credit has been given on the Art page. Also, the Church declares you a Saint. PRAISE ZOMBIE JESUS! (ps: it wasn't orginally credited as the posters, it was posted as an 'aint this cool!' post. Thanks for the use!)
genius! There are some other good comics on Jared's site, but that one is downright hilarious.
Milo 21:42, 30 Nov 2005 (GMT)

Church of the "omg, \/\/3 @r3 83773r 7|-|@/\/ y()u11one!eleventyone"*

Most of your members are fascist hypocrites. You, yourself, come from a forum which covers the continuous debate on whose invisible-sky-god is real or not, and thus you make a group who are religious fanatics. You guys seem to be fine with this inclusion of your hobby into the Urban Dead game.
However, if another group, say the Warseers or the Redemptionists, your members on your forum have no end of fun on saying that we are lesser than you because we are including our hobby with this game and say that we are "Harry Potter cultists" on your wikipage.
We are no different from you religious fanatics, so leave it off. If you can have your "omg1 we r teh kruzadin' f@/\/@t1(5"** group, we can have our special-interest groups as well.
* Trans: "Oh my god, (Notice the lower-case, so it doesn't apply to the christian God Yahmeh/Jehovah/etc) we are better than you!".
** Trans: "Fanatic".
Devin Wright

The Church's Reply
Thank you for your complaint. I see your name is "Devin;" perhaps that should really be "Devil?" I could make no sense of your initial remark -- no doubt you speak some ungodly language, probably Esperanto.
You may call us fascists all you like. As you no doubt know, the word "fascist" comes from the Latin word for "stick," the implication being a tightly bound, well-conformed bundle of sticks. We are indeed tightly bound together by our Love of Sweet Zombie Jesus, and we all conform to His intent to destroy filthy heathens. So, Fascist is the true Church, now and forever.
On your website (which you so kindly linked), I found a page called Pictures of my Orcs and Goblins Army. As we all know, things like goblins, orcs, pixies, dentists, elves, dwarves, eskimoes, dragons, and stomatopods are really just demons in disguise, demons attempting to corrupt the pliable minds of today's youth, as I fear they have yours.
Also on your website, I found a reference to the "Lord of the Rings." This Lord is a false Lord, as the only true Lord is the LORD, who has no interest in rings, but only the tasty fingers that wear them.
I pray these infallible responses to your complaints have opened your eyes to the love and deliciousness of Sweet Zombie Jesus. May God have gravy on your soul.
Rev. Dickie Fux

RE: Church of the "omg, \/\/3 @r3 83773r 7|-|@/\/ y()u11one!eleventyone"*
What about you guys being hypocrites? Since you didn't reply about that, I'm guessing you can't think of anything to counter it.
People have different interests than you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Except maybe eat me, but I doubt that's going to happen.
Devin Wright

The Church's Reply
Poor, misguided meat. I chose not to reply to your claim of hypocrisy not because the Church has no Response, but because I wanted to show some small Mercy on you. Alas, your insistence demands we eschew Mercy in favor of righteous Wrath.
Church members clearly show no hypocrisy in our actions; indeed, humans are the true hypocrites. Many humans wear the Whole Armor of God, even though it does them no good in their futile insurrection; only those who have given up the warmth of life gain any benefit. Put simply, the Flak Jacket only works for Zombies in our Mission against humans; there is no Zombie attack that loses its potency against the Whole Armor. Why, then, do humans wear them? Obviously, it shows their true desire to become Zombies, a desire they cannot yet fully embrace, so they use such paltry half measures. Hypocrisy, indeed.
The Church has no complaint against your particular hobbies; the Church acknowledges all hobbies as low distractions from our one true Calling -- Consumption. Consumption of all before us. Consumption of every tasty morsel of Flesh in the city of Malton. Consumption of every savory drop of Blood. All things given to us by the LORD are given so that we may use them indiscriminately, for with God, there is no need to preserve the environment around us -- God will provide.
As for your suggestion that we eat you -- rest assured, we will.
Rev. Dickie Fux

RE: RE: Church of the "omg, \/\/3 @r3 83773r 7|-|@/\/ y()u11one!eleventyone"*
But what about against Player Killers? The flak jacket is used for protection against gun-wielding pkers. So it does have a use. Not every single action the humans do is against you. I'm not sure if you're suffering paranoia or over-presumption.
Devin Wright

The Church's Reply
The fact that survivors would wear the Whole Armor of God to prevent the infliction of damage by other survivors just shows the depth of selfishness in the human heart. When a survivor attacks another survivor who wears the Whole Armor, less damage is dealt. When less damage is dealt, the attacker gains less experience. How mean-spirited of you, to actively try to prevent another survivor from gaining experience!
Compare this to the attitudes Church members have towards other Zombies attacking them: they welcome and encourage it. We Love our Brothers and Sisters so much, we are willing to Sacrifice our lives again and again for their Benefit, just as Sweet Zombie Jesus Sacrificed Himself. We don't have a selfish bone in our bodies, unless we swallow one of yours.
Rev. Dickie Fux

:reply to church reply:
You are hypocrites, your are paranoid. You are so paranoid in fact you do not even let your lower level zombies pray on the accountants in banks. I mean, what does a zombie need with money anyway?! But my gripe is with your targeting every building in a quadrent.
I mean, how is that even possable? You eather have a hell fo a lot of zombies or, you zerg. that is my take, don't like it tough, you want me come and get me I am currently in kempsterbank. Put your money (or not) where your non-living mouth is, and prove your are not heretics.
And even ferthermore, I do have a flak jacket A: just cause I can and B: so i do not get my ass PKed by a PKing human. Having your head blown off does some damage to your xp because you then have to get revivificated.
And finily, why the hell are you even calling yoruself the CotR? Shouldn't it be CotNR? Seeing as how you are unliving at all?
And the last finily "He drew a circle that shut me out -- Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in!" Edwin Markham, I quote that, deal, prove you ain't hypocrits.
By your own rules, the burden of proof lies with the accused.
Fullemtaled 08:37, 25 Nov 2005 (GMT)

The Church's Reply
We do not use underhanded tricks to Convert the buildings we visit, because we don't have to. Sweet Zombie Jesus guides and strengthens us wherever we go, so that no obstacle can stand in the way of our Sacred Pilgrimage. You can see this in our Conversion tactics -- instead of relying on weapons made by man, we use the hands and teeth the Tasty Father gave us.
I asked around concerning the identity of this man you quoted, Edwin Markham. I discovered that he was a poet and writer. I have never read his books, because I never read anything except the Bible. The mere fact that this man would write anything shows he was full of Sin, because all other books are distractions from reading the Good Book. So, anything he could ever say would clearly be a filthy lie.
Rev. Dickie Fux

:re re: against the churchs reply:
That is exactly the problem you do not understand man nor nature. Sure, your so called "Sweet zombie jesus", but do you read the red lines? Do you actualy understand them?
To be man is to human whoes purpose is to learn, try picking up a science book. Science can return the dead to the living, wbhat do you do, go around murdering people. I do so happen to have a bible right beside me and I quote the words in red "For god so loved the world that He gave His only beggoten son, that whoever believes in Him should not parish but have everlasting life" John 3:16
And I quote "You have heard that it was said, 'You shell love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' " Matthew 5: 43
And I quote "But I say to you, love your enemues, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you," Matthew 5:44
And I have more "Judge not, that you be not judged."-"For with what judgement you judge, you will eb juged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."-And why do you look at the speck in yoru borthers eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?"-"or how can you say to your brother 'Let me remove that speck from your eye'; and look a plank in your own eye?"-Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye." Matthew 7:1-7:5
And finily "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves." Matthew 7:15
Fullemtaled 01:52, 26 Nov 2005 (GMT)

RE: RE: RE: Church of the "omg, \/\/3 @r3 83773r 7|-|@/\/ y()u11one!eleventyone"*
You say "Consumption of every tasty morsel of Flesh in the city of Malton. Consumption of every savory drop of Blood."
Leviticus 7:26-27 says: "And wherever you live, you must not eat the blood of any bird or animal. If anyone eats blood, that person must be cut off from his people."
Survey says: You go against your own teachings. And you sin, but that's another thing entirely. Unless you revive yourself after you eat one of the suvivors, which you don't. Or, if you do, you have human characters as well and you are, in fact, zerging.
Devin Wright

4Re: To Church reply
But, I don't. You see, I never claimed to be chirstian in any way shape or form.
I also, do not zerg, I return human the same as anyone else. By finding a rivive point and becoming human again.
As for you, I have seen your targeting thread, and even yoru group won't try and take caiger mall anymore, 8)
In short, you want me to bow to almight "Sweet zombie jesus", come "convert" me.
Also, how would PKing make you sinful? Wouldn't it in fact make you more holy insted?
And FYI: you actualy follow the "Teaching" of christ(alive or died), You are a cristian. :P
Fullemtaled 17:45, 28 Nov 2005 (GMT)

The Church's Reply
1 Samuel 20:36 "And he said unto his lad, Run, find out now the arrows which I shoot. And as the lad ran, he shot an arrow beyond him."
Ezra 6:13 "Then Tatnai, governor on this side the river, Thetharboznai, and their companions, according to that which Dari'us the king had sent, so they did speedily."
1 Timothy 6:9 "But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition."
The relevance of these three quotes requires no additional comment from me, being so obvious, and so directly proving the Falsehood of your words. Certainly, in your juicy little heart of hearts, you know I'm right.
Rev. Dickie Fux

RE:RE:RE:RE Church of the OMG, etc
You say "Consumption of every tasty morsel of Flesh in the city of Malton. Consumption of every savory drop of Blood." Leviticus 7:26-27 says: "And wherever you live, you must not eat the blood of any bird or animal. If anyone eats blood, that person must be cut off from his people." Survey says: You go against your own teachings. And you sin, but that's another thing entirely. Unless you revive yourself after you eat one of the suvivors, which you don't. Or, if you do, you have human characters as well and you are, in fact, zerging.
Don't ignore me. I've proven your Holy Bible is against what you are doing. Now, stop it at once. Or the Sweet Living Jesus will whoop yo' ass.
Devin Wright 14:57, 5 Dec 2005 (GMT)

Reply: Would you expect anything better...
from members of the Internet Infedels forum? GLORY AND POWER TO THE ONE TRUE LIVING GOD!!
Nathan Bedford Forrest 21:37, 11 Dec 2005 (GMT)

Don't you twist my words around you snakes. You are the heretics, you are the one's who worship that which is unholy, do you not remember Deuteronomy 5-17 "You shell not murder.". You kill innocents, the people who try to harm you not. does it take away your life when they tag you? Does it harm you in anyway? No. If you want ferther conflick post in my talk page I will take this no farther here.
Fullemtaled 15:20, 5 Dec 2005 (GMT)

Only the blackest heretic would try to twist the LORD's work into horrible murder. The harmans have already murdered their souls with science and doubt. Church members are giving you new life, bringing the light of zombie Jesus straight through your torso and into your heart. You seem like a troubled soul. God willing you will forsake your evil ways, and go stand out in the street in preparation to be unburdened of all your sins. Hallelujah!
NipsMcBite, converting heretics one organ at a time. 22:50, 13 Dec 2005 (GMT)

RE: #6

John 6:53 So Jesus said to them, I assure you: Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you do not have life in yourselves.
We do not devour the unclean blood of animals and birds, we take communion with the flesh and blood of the Son of Man.
Acts 10:13-15 Then a voice said to him, �Get up, Peter; kill and eat!� �No, Lord� Peter said. �For I have never eaten anything common and unclean!� Again, a second time, a voice said to him, �What God has made clean, you must not call common. �
Our sweet Lord is calling us to do the same; to rise up, kill and devour!
Matthew 6:25 This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Rev 19:18 that you may eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of commanders, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and of their riders, and the flesh of everyone, both free and slave, small and great.
Through Sweet Zombie Jesus all men will finally be equal! No longer will vanity and needless worry rule the hearts and minds of people!! --Jack-Swithun 18:29, 31 Dec 2005 (GMT)

The picture of zombie Jesus is just wrong

I just want to say the picture of Zombie Jesus is very offending

The Church's Reply
Who is this? Since you didn't sign your name, I'm left to guess. But I have a pretty good feeling of who it was. Could it be...SATAN? For surely only Satan would be offended by the visage of Sweet Zombie Jesus and his sacrifice and gift of eternal life his image commemorates. Get thee behind me Satan!
--Ethmoid Eater, Feb 13, 2009.

Worshiping Zombie Jesus

First off let me say that this is a well... Unique religion. I know you can worship whatever figure being thing you want and I find this religion in particular a interesting one but I have a problem with this religion. Of course it isn't really a problem it is more of a complaint. Well of course it is a complaint or else why would it be on the complaint page. [Insert funny joke here] Now my problem or complaint whatever you choose to call it is I find the image of a zombified Jesus Christ offensive. Don't associate me with the man above I'm a reasonable person but I just wanted to put this out there for the sake of argument. I was wondering if this church could possibly worship some other idol or being hell worship a Stuffed Crocodile well actually then I'm asking you or who ever reads these complaints to change what this church is about anyways to sum things up I'm just asking if you could find some other religion to follow. What I'm really asking is that well not asking more saying is that a Zombified[Zed] image of Jesus Christ or Sweet Zombie Jesus as members of this church seem to call him is a bit offensive to people of the religion of Christianity.

[Woot typed a paragraph] To summarize that past paragraph what I'm saying is some people may find worshiping Zombie Jesus maybe a bit offensive I laughed a little at the idea of this religion personally I find this religion a bit strange but hell now I'm just typing no sense anyways interested in reading the Church's reply to this.

PS. My name is Jordan Arnold. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Thaedracy (talkcontribs) 16:12, 29 November 2009.

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