Close Personal Friends of Anime Sucks/Anime's Angels
| Anime's Angels | |
 | |
| Abbreviation: | AA |
| Group Numbers: | XXX-clusive |
| Leadership: | Anime Sucks |
| Goals: | To Be Sexy and Kickass |
| Recruitment Policy: | Don't Contact Us, We'll Contact You |
| Contact: | Don't Contact Us, We'll Contact You |
Anime's Angels are an elite and erotic special team within the Close Personal Friends of Anime Sucks group.
History
It is unknown as to when Anime's Angels first appeared, but it wasn't until recently that it became more known to the public. During a routine surveillance, MI6 picked up conversations between media mogul, and self-made quazillionaire Antoine "Anime Sucks" Simpson, and his consigliere, who is only known by JelloFun, outside of a Venice coffee shoppe about operations involving Anime's Angels.
Since then MI6 has been gathering resources trying to find as much information as they can on this elite special team.
Agenda
Little is known about the purpose of Anime's Angels. MI6 has received intelligence about plans for global domination, but Mr. Simpson, and his Angels are rarely seen away from the headquarters. It is hard to tell if they are planning something truly nefarious, or are just plain lazy.
File Cards
Active
A
Codename: Miss Amber
Primary Speciality: Communications Expert
Secondary Speciality: Erotic Toy Tester
Join Date: Spring 2008
Status: Active
The sultry Miss Amber was a former member of the Anti-Antoine Simpson uprising in Australia until, as sources can recall, Antoine had requested a sit down with her to settle the tensions between her group and his enterprise. The house madame recalls him as very charming but was having a hard time convincing her to stop her group's aggression. It wasn't until he pulled out the box of Belgian pralines that she, in the maid's words... melted. MI6 theorists believe she was drugged, as they don't believe that any chocolate is worth selling your soul over.
It wasn't until a couple months later that she was spotted again in Prague, which also happens to the be epicenter of the Antoine Simpson's European Media Outlet. It was Miss Amber who agressively bought up all available shares of Otaku Radio of Japan, making it one of the largest media corporate buyouts in Japan's history. The company was soon dismantled, and it was a great corporate victory for Antoine Simpson. Miss Amber had proven herself to be a great orator when it came to serving the wishes of Antoine Simpson.
In a recent internet transmission intercept sent from Miss Amber, to what MI6 believed to be a terrorist weapons manufacturing plant, actually turned out to be a report card for the Rabbitoine 2010, a device scheduled for release through Antoine's satellite business, Angelic Devices and Apparel. She scored it an "O-M-G".
<Banana> You never see any small dildos.
<Amber> actually...
<AnimeSucks> yeah.. actually....
* Banana grimaces
C
Cialan
Codename: Keke
Primary Speciality: Master Linguist
Secondary Speciality: Distraction via Sexy Schoolgirl Outfits
Join Date: Summer 2008
Status: Active
Cialan was one of the fastest rising Angels in the history of the organization. It was no surprise when Anime Sucks put her in charge of translating foreign editions of Playboy, and not to mention, the special secret projects Anime Sucks conducts with her alone in his lead-lined underground chamber. Cialan will continue to be a major player within Anime's Angels, and is worth noting her rising star status.
<Cialan> I thought I was 18 in those pics, but I just checked on something
<Cialan> I was 17
<Cialan> So don't fap to them >_<
E
Codename: Empy
Primary Speciality: Supernatural Bullshit Detection
Secondary Speciality: Training New Angels
Join Date: Fall 2005
Status: Active
Empress of Moldovi would be considered the madam of the group. All of the other Angels follow her lead as she is the original and highest ranking Angel. Intelligence says that Anime Sucks favors Empy above all the other Angels. Though, it is not known as to how close their relationship is.
<&Empress> oh, jesus fucking christ on a bike
Codename: Genie
Primary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Secondary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Join Date: CLASSIFIED
Status: CLASSIFIED
CLASSIFIED
CLASSIFIED
F
Codename: Fiffy
Primary Speciality: Master of Disguise
Secondary Speciality: Corrupting the Youth
Join Date: Spring 2008
Status: Active
Fiffy is one of the more interesting members of the society. She is a notable socialite, but rarely ever gets out amongst the common people. Infiltration has gathered that it sometimes takes her 3-9 hours to apply her disguise, that by the time she is done all the clubs have closed for the evening. Though, this doesn't bother Antoine Simpson in the slightest, because along with her disguise applications skills that she learned at university, she minored in massage therapy in which Mr. Simpson seems to find as a happy ending to a long day.
<AnimeSucks> pking is the result of sexual frustration
<AnimeSucks> I'm very sexually frustrated
* Fiffy needs to kill more
* Fiffy is also sexually frustrated
<AnimeSucks> ya know.....
K
Codename: Kristi
Primary Speciality: Foreign Policy Expert
Secondary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Join Date: Summer 2006
Status: Active
CLASSIFIED
<Kristi> I'm not really good with foreigners
<AnimeSucks> but you live in Alaska
<AnimeSucks> dont worry.. you'll be fine
<Kristi> I can see russia!
W
Codename: Bearfucker
Primary Speciality: Telling the Truth in Such a Way That Everyone Disagrees With Him
Secondary Speciality: Recruitment
Join Date: Summer 2008
Status: Active
WanYao is the only male within Anime's Angels. Anime needed someone who was very truthful in an Akulian way that nobody would trust what he was saying anyway so that all information passed back to Anime would immediately be discredited. Anime also needed someone effeminate enough to recruit within the Angels without having fearing that his Angels were being seduced by another male in his ranks. WanYao was the obvious choice for both these roles. Anime sends WanYao out to the most prestigious gay bars all around the world to gather profiles on the women that are only there to not get hit on constantly by guys.
<WanYao> And... yeah... me and my friends used to go this gay bar for free pool and cheap shooters before the club ... and i'd get bought drinks by guys ... and i stopped saying no ...
Dead/Inactive/MIA
C
Clobber Girl
Codename: Clobber
Primary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Secondary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Join Date: CLASSIFIED
Status: MIA
CLASSIFIED
CLASSIFIED
M
Codename: Maisy
Primary Speciality: Research and Development
Secondary Speciality: Official Secretary to Antoine Simpson
Join Date: Fall 2008
Status: Dead
Maisy is one of the most talented recent recruits to the Angels. Widely known for her scientific process of extracting the carbon from sparkles found very readily in dollar stores across the world and with a top secret method compressing the carbon into Sparklegems. Sparklegems have been used exclusively by scientists employed by Antoine Simpson in creating various weapons, from guns to orgy bombs. Maisy, in her new wealth founded the Sparkle Museum which opened up early in September 2008, located next to Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida. The Sparkle Museum is believed to be a front for a secret Research and Development complex that is hidden underneath the museum. It is also unknown how they managed to get Academy Award Winning Actor, Morgan Freeman to narrate the 90 minute History of Sparkles documentary that plays in the museum. It is MI6's conclusion that the Rainbow Speckled Sparklegem has mind influencing properties, and was used on Mr. Freeman as a test to gauge its abilities.
Antoine, seeing her potential quickly assigned her as his personal secretary, making sure to keep her late after hours to dictate various ideas or plans in his head. Though it is unknown as to what plans he has been telling her, deep cover sources of MI6 have deduced that it must be important and consuming, considering how late she stays, her tired appearance upon retiring for the evening, and the fact that Angel physicians have been treating her right hand for carpal tunnel.
In early spring of 2009, MI6, in conjunction with the CIA, managed to infiltrate the Museum and learned of a top secret "Quantum-Sparkle" weapon research that was going to be implemented against Antoine's nemesis, The Evil Chinese Man. During what can only be assumed was a premature weapon's test, Tampa saw one of the country's more deadly facility explosions in recent history, littering the area for miles with sparkles and breaching the animal habitat at the nearby Busch Garden's. There were no survivors for anyone that were in the building at the time of the explosion. The media reported it as a gas leak, and it has been reported to MI6 that Antoine has abandoned the unstable sparkle technology.
<AnimeSucks> POWER WORD ORGASM!
* Maisy quivers
<Maisy> ANIME!
<AnimeSucks> Whua? I shouldnt cast POWER WORD ORGASM?... oh shit.. there I did it again
S
Spad
Codename: Spadders
Primary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Secondary Speciality: CLASSIFIED
Join Date: CLASSIFIED
Status: MIA
CLASSIFIED
CLASSIFIED
