Club Crook

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Club Crook
EHB, unlit
Danger Updater MDUDC 14:02, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
Club Crook

Kempsterbank [56, 72]

the Norwood Building Hensler Walk the Kilminster Monument
Laimbeer Plaza Club Crook St. Ferreol's Hospital
Barnett Boulevard Fire Station Titus General Hospital Nunn Row Fire Station

Basic Info:

  • Clubs are Dark buildings.
  • The usual internal description of a Club reads as follows:
    "…in the near-darkness of the main dancefloor."
  • When powered by a portable generator, the internal description changes to the following:
    "Coloured spotlights highlight an empty stage, and distorted music echoes over the speakers."
  • Clubs can be barricaded normally.

Club Crook


This club is one of three in Kempsterbank and is situated in an important position to act as a safe house for the two nearby hospitals and fire stations.

  • Inside

You are standing inside Club Crook.

  • Outside

You are standing outside Club Crook, a fire-damaged white-stone building which has partially collapsed.

Barricade Policy

This building is to be barricaded to Extremely Heavily at all times in accordance with the Kempsterbank Barricade Plan.


The building now known as Club Crook opened its doors in 1973 as a disco club called "Club Med," a reference to the two neighboring hospitals.

When the disco era ended, the club remodeled and became a swanky, high-priced lounge, drawing large numbers of doctors and nurses from the very hospitals for which it was named. Although the nightclub claimed otherwise, allegations that surgeons went there between operations were common.

These allegations came to a head in 1992, when a surgeon at Titus General Hospital accidentally removed a patient's left kidney rather than replacing his right kneecap. Using security camera footage, the prosecution proved that the surgeon, a close friend of the club's manager and frequent patron, had been in the club less than an hour before his surgery. In the ensuing scandal, the club's owners were forced to sell the business. It reopened under new management in 1995 as "Club Crook."

Club Crook's grand opening was kept very quiet by the new owners, a pair of retired police officers. The name was an in-joke, as the club was quietly advertised as a "cop bar." It became very popular with the officers of Kempsterbank, as well as with firefighters from nearby Nunn Row Fire Station and Barnett Boulevard Fire Station.

It is believed that the Night Ravers visited Club Crook in December 2006.

The Malton Mob took over the running of the club during the Mall Tour '07. Many unsavory discussion went on here during that time, such the asking of the question 'In what way am I funny?'.

The Knights Templar found the Club abandoned in the Spring '07. A special operations team was set up to combat the Hell-filth pit which is the Ladies. The ongoing clean-up mission is expected to last until we have something better to do (that'll be a while then).

Until this time, the Club is open for business as usual. Wanted: Dancers, rotters will be considered.

The Club is up for sale again after its most recent owner found religion. And the Malton Mob have been sniffing round again.