Department of Emotional Man-love

From The Urban Dead Wiki

    NPOV: This is a parody group. It is not intended to harrass, insult
    or defame any particular individual or group within the actual DEM

You've found us! We always knew you would.. Welcome home, feminine men and over-emotional women, to the Department of Emotional Man-love. The DEM is not a group itself, but rather an organizational construct, made up from the leadership of the member groups. Member groups? We meant other groups! Like...groups that aren't ours. Are we a group? I don't really know. But that's neither here nor there.

|We have OVER 9000!!! members, and we gain new members every day. Our core mission since the outbreak is protecting survivors, and anyone else in need of man-love. Man-love? We meant love in general! We don't discriminate based on sex. No really, we don't!

We aren't interested in politics (though we love those liberals!) and will work with any pro-survivor groups that are willing to cooperate together for the benefit of all unemotional, logical douchebags in the world. We have a job to do, and we're going to get it done! We don't need no education or logic to get it done: just common sense. Ask the academy! |}

Contents 1 News 2 Contacting the DEM 3 Groups 3.1 Groups we Control 3.2 Rules and Procedures of Receiving Man-Love 3.2.1 Strategic Partners 3.3 Becoming a Member Group 4 The Leadership Council 5 DEM Policies 5.1 Player Conduct 5.2 PKing 5.3 Spying 5.4 Super Sekrit Members 5.5 Zerging 6 Enemies

[edit] News

• January 2010

The New Year started with...nothing?! It's so quiet! Maybe someone's getting married, or something --Chex 06:47, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

• November, 2009

We started Operation: Short Bus for the Thanksgiving Weekend. Our goals were to gather as much fuel as possible to fuel our love bus (which has horribly terrible gas-mileage). We're thankful for so much love <3 --Chekken 02:05, 27 November 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Contacting the DEM

If you want to be REALLY involved with us, and not just some nobody, you can get plenty of attention right here on our super-awesome-and-unbiased public board. Want to join our group? Do it here! Don't want to join our forum? Too freaking bad! You have to if you want to join in our circle jerki- errrr, I mean circle of trust. Oh, and all of the groups we control post here. So yeah.

[edit] Groups

We're kind of like a malignant tumor; we control you, and you don't like it, but we're here to stay. Besides, who are YOU to go against us? We're like...the DEPARTMENT of EMOTIONAL MAN-LOVE. How could you go against man-love?

[edit] Groups we Control

• EVERYTHING IN MALTON! EVERYTHING!
• The US Naval Core
• The Canadian Naval Core
• The English Naval Core
• Most other things involving the navy and/or boats
• Kittens, puppies and pandas
• Rainbows
• Sunsets
• Sunshine
• Orgasms
• The SlapChop (You're gonna love my nuts!)

Do not list your group here until our members and command staff have had a chance to get to know you and are willing to vouch for your group. Ask on the discussion page.

[edit] Rules and Procedures of Receiving Man-Love

• Rule 1; don't talk about man-love.
• Take a number. Any number above 5 will be reduced by one.
• Do not leave for ANY REASON. Even if you have to go to the bathroom.
• Do not sneeze. If you must sneeze, take another number and wait your turn.
• NO BALLOON ANIMALS. EVER!!!
• Do not make eye contact with anybody. EVER!!!
• If you have to sleep, you must take another number and write a 1-page essay which does not contain the word "the".
• Everything you do must be recorded using IWitness. This includes real life.
• You can't give man-love to strangers; only friends.
• When you have received and/or given your man-love, you must never talk to that person again.

[edit] Strategic Partners

Strategy? We don't need strategy! We're such close buddies that all we do is talk all day and develop like...procedures for giving hugs. Killing people? Killing zombies? *Gasp* Why would we want to do that?!

But honestly, we don't have any. If you WANT to be a member, then like...talk to us on the talk page or something.

[edit] Becoming a Member Group

Groups interested in becoming a member of the DEM must agree to the following basic rules and ensure their membership complies:

• You must give each member of your team a firm grip of the backside each day.
• You will provide one hug per person ONLY. We aren't common whores, you know.
• You HAVE to talk about Friends.

[edit] The Leadership Council

Okay, so we have one guy (or girl. Remember: we don't discriminate) who like...tells all the groups what to do. And if the groups don't like it, then too freaking bad, because we're the boss here. We like, brought you together. It's like if Brandon here hooked up with Sandy but we made it happen. We get to like...decide stuff for Sandy and Brandon, right? Because we set them up.

[edit] DEM Policies

All personnel in groups within the DEM are held to the following core policies. Additional policies and SOPs are documented on the forum and will be reviewed with new members during Academy training, but the following policies are the most important.

[edit] Player Conduct

We seek to hold members of all the DEM groups to a high standard of conduct. Members should always be civil during any discourse or disagreement, regardless of the behavior of anyone else involved. They are expected to play hard, but play fair, and to encourage others to do so. The only exception is if somebody makes you mad. Then you can do whatever you want. OMG if you want, like...the mods and admins can ban people if they make you mad. If they make US mad? Like, the ADMINS? Oh gosh, will we get them!

[edit] PKing

Okay, so...we don't like to see people killed. Like, REALLY, it makes us mad. So whenever someone like...kills you, give them a bounty on the Rogues Gallery. And we TOTALLY don't run the rogues gallery. Like, if I killed somebody, I'd put myself on the RG, right? LOL, just kidding. I wouldn't kill anyone. Because I'm too busy hugging and loving and making the rules.

	Report PKers!
	Don't let them get away with murder! Register them on the Rogues Gallery.

[edit] Spying

HOLY SHIT DONT LEAVE K? Because we're watching you. And if we see you talking to that cute girl and you don't tell us, we will DOMINATE you. We will DOMINATE you, and tie you up and make you cry. Oh god, don't leave us. We love you!

[edit] Super Sekrit Members

Like, here we are!!! Remember; you don't have to be a man. We DONT DISCRIMINATE :)

• Chekken
• AnimeSucks
• Cait the Magnificent<<Like, OMG guys! Be nice, because she's a girl.
• The Colonel
• Claude Garrison<<OMG, girl!

[edit] Zerging

Alright, like...we might have lied about our numbers. We can say we have 9000 members when it's really 9 people with 1000 alts, 'kay? It doesn't hurt anyone. Unless we're, like, working together with our like...clones? Which isn't possible.

[edit] Enemies

Okay, so there's this group (more like a cult) called the Department of Emergency Management who stole our acronym. We're gonna like...kill them and blame it on someone else take full responsibility for our actions.