Ghetto Cow/Ridleybank

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Here's all our records about the lovely fight in the Blackmore Building and Ridleybank. Enjoy! And if you don't enjoy it, we don't care!

Also here is stuff about our tanning salon in Ridleybank and the time we held off the Mall Tour '07 for four days at Nichols Mall!


Travel Journal

Any Ghetto Cow members heading to Ridleybank can tell of their journey here. Or not. Whatever.

November 11th

Lachryma woke up in Bale Mall feeling restless and annoyed, as Bale Mall is very boring, with no zombies within 8 blocks and around two hurt people out of around 600. Lachryma felt horrible that she had to spend another day combing through the drugstore looking for medkits and watching the other survivors shoot each other, but then she remembered that today was Ghetto Cow's big move to Stickling Mall, so she grabbed her 20 first aid kits and began traveling from building to building using an old Soviet trick without ever going onto the street! Occasionally she would see a hurt survivor in the safehouses she passed through, so she would throw a medkit at them and continue on her merry way. Once at Stickling Mall, she saw Dag00 sleeping in a huge crowd of 253 survivors, so, happy for the progress of the trip to Ridleybank, she fell asleep in JCPenny's.

November 12th

[In Lachryma's heavily accented words]: I head south, leave Stickling Mall, and go to Ridleybank. I not stop till I in Blackmore Building. I stock up on medkits before, and I use most in Ridleybank. It worth it, as survivors fight desperately. I not see Dag00, hope he alive...I glad to be in former zombie hellhole, and I laugh at two hundred zombies outside Blackmore. Ha, this is my Motherland now!

November 14th

Tanith was horribly raped this day by a horde of angry zombie mother's who hadn't seen a d*** in so long they decided to eat his. This is another fatal accident that has befallen Tanith since he began his trek towards enlightenment, and Ridleybank. Note: Those are the same thing.

November 21st

[A clipping from Skitchipoo the fireman stripper's diary on 11/21/06]] ... so I guess I learned that I shouldn't go home with strangers. So anyways, later that day during my lunch break, I went to Ridleybank to shop for a new belt for my sexy fireman costume. As I entered the Blackmore building through the town skyway, I noticed a bunch of people lying on the floor bleeding! Even worse, there were a bunch of ugly homeless guys outside who were trying to get in! I tried to put some stuff in front of the door (which was quite strongly barricaded if you ask me) but I realized that I didn't know how to secure any doors. So I did the only thing that I knew how to do... I danced. The flailing of my arms hit a homeless guy in the head several times. The movement of my feet kicked the door back shut several times (the barricades had been destroyed by that time). And the gyration of my hips, while quite dangerous in itself, healed a man by the name of Fasel several times. Unfortunately though, I started to get really tired. Plus nobody around me was sticking any money in my fireman g-string, so I said "screw shopping" and went back to work at Chippendale's. By the end of the day, I had $150 in tips and a nasty infection on my thigh... dammit! I KNEW I shoudn't have gone out with that stranger...Note: The rest of Ghetto Cow is vaguely disturbed by this entry, but he's one of us...No, we still think it's wrong. Not even Lachryma wants a male stripper who doesn't know there is a zombie apocalypse going on. Then again, we always need someone to laugh at.


Stuff we actually did in the 'bank

  • As of Nov. 14, things have been going well at the Blackmore Building and surrounding areas. Lachryma has been going to Nichols Mall and back to keep up a steady stream of first aid kits, and she has served time at barricade duty. Dag00 has seen the 200 zombies outside Blackmore, and he even shot some of them. The others weren't too happy, and he got clawed and a little shaken. He was still happy to be in Ridleybank though, and the rest of Ghetto Cow is so missing out.
  • On the 15th, Lachryma gave a rousing speech after dealing with a minor break in. People were healed, the barricades were restored, and then everybody heard the great speech!
Vicious killers in Ridleybank. No zombie is safe.
  • As of the 17th, everything's cool. Damn zombies must be bored as hell, since they chew on barricades all day. Fools. At least we survivors do fun stuff, like...search for ammo!
  • On the 18th, some bad feth was going down in the Blackmore Building. When Lachryma woke up, there were ten zombies hanging out in the lobby, and the barricade of file cabinets had been mostly pushed aside. After working tirelessly on the barricades, Lachryma finally fired her pistol in anger. She shot the 6 rounds she got on her first day in Malton, and two hit a zombie. She promptly ordered a round of drinks for everybody, including the zombies.
  • Later, Lachryma was awoken by the death of those ten zombies. Then she saw the barricades were down, again, and nine new zombies were wandering around. As she desperately tried to repair the 'cades, a zombie bit Lachryma, said some gibberish, and then she couldn't keep her eyes open. Fething zeds.
  • Survivor numbers in the Blacmore Building have gotten lower as of Nov. 19th. Spirits are still high, and there's plenty of scotch, so we don't really care. Also, it has been noticed that the zombies have been wasting their energy on saying strange nonsense instead of actually attacking people. This may be attributed to their extreme respect for the brave survivors in the Blackmore Building. Or maybe they think they don't need to use their energy to kill us, and would instead share some zombie poetry. We have no idea what they're up to.
  • So, the Blackmore Building died. Oh well. Our members in the area are currently fleeing the fallout of that, and even the formerly safe Nichols Mall lost a corner, so today's lesson is there is nowhere safe. Not Caiger, not Blackmore, not Nichols. Hell, not even the cheap suburb you're hiding in is safe. Therefore, we are plotting to help retake the fallen bastion of humanity (hint: It starts with a c)...


The last survivor in Blackmore. Notice the lack of 'cades in the backgroud


Ghetto Cow's Speech

Lachryma has given this inspiring speech (stolen from General De Gaulle) at the Blackmore Building, and you can see it again here!


Caiger has fallen, and I’m sure you all know that.

A trenchcoater mourns the fall of Caiger. Notice the lack of katanas. Poor guy.

But has the last word been said? Must hope disappear? Is defeat final? No!

Believe me, I speak to you with full knowledge of the facts and tell you that nothing is lost for Malton. The same means that overcame us can bring us to a day of victory. For Caiger is not alone! She is not alone! She is not alone! She has a vast City behind her. She can align with the Blackmore Empire that holds the streets and continues the fight. She can, like Blackmore, use without limit the immense strength of the survivors.

This war is not limited to the unfortunate territory of our Caiger. This war is not finished by the fall of Caiger. This war is a city-wide war. All the faults, all the delays, all the suffering, do not prevent there to be, in the city, all the necessary means to one day crush our enemies. Vanquished today by undead force, we will be able to overcome in the future by a superior human force.

The destiny of the city is here, in Ridleybank.

Whatever happens, the flame of the Malton resistance must not be extinguished and will not be extinguished.


The speech was well received, with one cry of "Long live the Blackmore Empire!" and 50 survivors listening intently. The others were asleep, as they should be after the vicious fights at the Blackmore Building.


Ghetto Cow's Poem

This poem was inspired by Rudyard Kipling. Enjoy!


Them homemade cookies, yum!
I smell 'em in my homesick dreams,
In empty streets where the bullets hum,
And malls where the skeletons gleam,
O'er a thousand miles of city,
Them ginger cookies called me home!


I've roamed along the barricade line
And sniffed those zombie smells,
The blue eyed Russian gal is fine,
And Ridleybank's lusty, brown skinned belles,
But, Ma, my heart was ever true
To homemade gingersnaps and you


I hoped when I came home to bring
Rich presents from a trashed city
And loot enough to crown a king
Reminders of the continual pity
I meant to bring you guns galore
And never let you work no more


I had two bolts of Caiger silk
Ten crucifixes from a ruined shrine
And medkits white as milk-
A month ago that junk was mine.
In coming home we shot some craps
Say, Ma, yum, them ginger snaps!


Nichols Mall Side-Trek Travel Journal

We're going to Nichols Mall to load up on stuff, then we'll wage war in the 'bank while we wait for the Mall Tour.

March 2, 2007

  • Gimme 7 more hours of AP regen & I'll get there. As long as the Giddings reports I heard on my radio aren't horribly inaccurate, Giddings will last long enough to allow me to get to Nichols before the Zeds have time to make it to Tynte Mall, and my trip will be more-or-less uneventful... considering I woke up to infection today... Maybe they thought my flu cough was a Zed mating call ;) Bubacxo 09:48, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
  • I must scout out Giddings Mall before I can join my comrades at Nichols mall. Perhaps Giddings can be saved from its fate; if not, I shall make haste to Nichols. If my comrades have a strenuous objection, let them speak and I shall consider their words.--User:Ethelred IV 09:59, 2 March 2007
  • The Cap has reached Nichols. [Dramatic music plays]
  • [Lachryma is peering out a window...except the window has been barricaded] Lovely view, no? Makes me feel safe. Anyway, I is in Pimbank and I head to Nichols tomorrow. I only have one needle and one medkit, is annoying. Soon I get more stuff, will be lovely.

March 3, 2007

  • [A crowd has formed around a makeshift stage set up on top of an Orange Julius stand, where Andre is showing a zombie how to do the Hustle] Messr. Aloisius has arrived at Nichols! Huzzah! Now if only he had about 25 more FAKs... --Andre Aloisius 09:45, 3 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Yeah... remember how I said 7 hours? RIIIiiight. Work is cracking down on non-business internet use, so I can only do my moves when I get home. Which poses a problem. Movement times may be erratic during my adjusting of the schedule, but I'm here. (waves to Zombie Slay3r & Cap'n Silly) Can you BELIEVE that nobody is hurt? NOT ONE WOUND! Makes me wanna stab someone. Bubacxo 23:44, 3 March 2007 (UTC)


March 4, 2007

  • Apparently there are a few more zombies at Giddings than I originally thought. Please come to Giddings teammates; the Tour is here and it hasn't fallen yet. [Ethelred IV] 08:39 AM, 4 March 2007

March 6, 2007

  • Ok, I hear a lot of reports on my handheld that Giddings is overrun, if not already dead, & people are preparing for Tynte, but others are asking not to split the forces of Nichols as well. I know I'm not in charge, but I think Tynte sounds like it will fall FAR to easy to waste our effort on it. I'm stickin' at Nichols. It's too close to a trail for them not to come. Now that I'm over the flu, I guess the Solanum is coming. Loooooovely.
    Bubacxo 09:34, 6 March 2007 (UTC)


Activities in Nichols and The 'Bank

March 6, 2007

  • [Lachryma is hefting a large plastic tree. Several rats are perched on it.] Today, I wake up and I can no move. Is annoying. So, I ditch large numbers of things, and then I go to south Ridleybank, searching for good place to sleep. I see 9 zombies in Blackmore, but no flag. Is not lovely. Finally, I come back to mall, only to see barricades at lightly. So, I put plastic tree in doorway.
  • I'm in Nichols now. I'm also going to have to restock since I'm out of practically everything, which is a pain, since now w/ the new "heavier items" change I'll have to ditch a couple of my pistols. I might drop the radio, too, since I haven't bothered changing the station in months and nothing ever happens on that channel anymore... *remembers w/ a degree of irony the days when radios were a new thing and people were spamming them up all the livelong day* --Specialist290 02:56, 7 March 2007 (UTC)

March 8, 2007

  • [Stumbles out of a tanning bed to see some "customers" are banging on the doors] Errrrm, I think these zombies are jealous of our beautiful, bronzed bodies. I mean, how does green tan anyway? I raised the 'cades to Heavily +2 but I'm out of AP - if anyone has a sec, might wanna get it back up to EHB. [Goes back to slathering suncreen onto his overlarge nose] --Andre Aloisius 03:06, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
Update: Back down to lightly. Yeek! --Andre Aloisius 03:28, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
Update 2 - Update Harder: 'Cades fell but only one zombie got in before I could re-cade. Still only at lightly, though. --Andre Aloisius 04:30, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Checked in after Andre posted... 'cades were already back down to QS. I 'caded a little, then went to the next tower over and looked out w/ my binocs. There are 23 zeds right outside our building (they must really want that tanning bed). There's also 26 outside the bank to our SE, though what the zombies are gonna do w/ the money... --Specialist290 03:25, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Right now cades at VHB for at least the last half hour-- Che -T GC X 07:33, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

March 9, 2007

  • Well, we're all dead. At least my beautiful body is a nice golden brown. One of the zombies left a pamphlet on my stomach about the dangers of indoor tanning and the increased risks of skin cancer, but I threw it away because it was too depressing. I shuffled over to Anstruther Alley and will be setting up my erotic services shop there until I get revived. You can look for free, but you have to pay for anything else. And I mean ANYTHING. --Skitchipoo 00:22, 9 March 2007 (UTC)
  • [Lachryma is fending off hordes of zombies]: I go to sleep thinking we not open for business, but insistent dead ones wake me up with banging. Many are unhappy with pale color of skin, and they mob famous Ghetto Cow tanning salon. I is very busy giving refunds as we not prepared for-Hey, no touch! Get away, pale filth! [Lachryma is borne off by a lonely, pale, dead banker who is entralled with her exotic accent]
  • I'm still alive (as of about 15 minutes ago), although that may change in a few as the 'cades are coming down. If I had some AP I'd revive some of you (or all; 4 needles), but I APed out barricading, so... --Specialist290 01:37, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

March 12, 2007

  • The Cap got bored of a lack of plans and went to Blackmore, died, mrhed, and got a revive from an active character. Now I'm in Blackmore again. If anyone wants to come, we've got an open bar...
  • Breakin at SE corner in Nichols. 13 zeds there. Requesting backup. --Specialist290 21:51, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

March 13, 2007

[Lachryma is about to go to sleep]: I spend all day searching for needles. I find one. Therefore, I is horrible mood. Leave me alone.

March 15, 2007

  • Ethelred IV is pining for the days of Caiger, when they could actually fend off a zombie siege. Nichols has puttered on by the hard work of a few, but unless the defenders commit to fighting back and not just sitting in other corners, the mall will collapse.
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