Harman for the Holidays

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Harman for the Holidays: Christmas in Wyke Hills 2010
Another year and the snow begins to fall. In the distance a grumbling drunken survivor drags a small fir tree across a car park on his way to some safe-house or other. Silence reigns. But wait! There is a sound in the distance. Is that…caroling?
Indeed it is.
Zompresent.jpg
Brought to you by The D.S. R&D, The Wulves, Z.A.L.P. and other area groups.
(For more Festive mayhem, also see Harman for the Holidays 2: Revenge of the Harman)

I’m Dreaming of A Wyke Christmas

This year in Wyke Hills, residents are lighting up the suburb and placing decorations like never before. Stockings are hung by chimneys with care and Maltonian Christmas carols will fill the air.


WykechristmasMapmini.jpg
A portable generator has been set up here. It is running low on fuel. A recently-cut
fir tree has been propped up in a crude stand, and decorated with red lights.
Somebody has spraypainted I'm Dreaming of a Wyke Christmas. onto a wall.
You drape the lights over the tree and plug them in.


Decorations

Who doesn’t remember that one street in the neighborhood where everyone goes all out this time of year and decorates with flashing lights and tinsel? This year, Wyke Hills is that street…er…suburb. Resident’s of Wyke hills are asked to light and decorate as much as they can. Sure zombies will tear down your Christmas decorations eventually, but that is no excuse not to show your holiday spirit. Pictures or screen-grabs can be posted to the discussion page for this article. The ultimate goal of this portion of the event will be to be able to piece together a picture of Wyke Hills in its entire splendor for next year’s Christmas cards. The best decorated building will receive mention on the wiki along with the person or group who takes credit for decorating it. Shiny template spam will be awarded to the decorator and your name will go down in Wyke Hills History.

Zombie groups are encouraged to participate as well and an award will be given to the best zombie "decoration." So smear that blood and defile that graffiti; just because you are dead does not mean you cannot get in on the action.

Caroling

Nothing says holiday spirit like freezing your butt off running around in the snow and singing to people who check their watch every 3 seconds…I mean, spreading joy and season’s greetings through song. This year, get out there and serenade your fellow Wyke Hillians with holiday tunes like the sample below. Caroling in Wyke will began December 24th and will end January 1st, with a special performance by The band styx held in the Wolfendall Arms on December 28th. Post songs to the “songs” section below to share them and enter the competition for best carol (voting will start on January 2nd). Any songs may be posted but to be entered in the competition, it needs to actually be performed in Malton (working on the honor system but scrrenshots are welcome). Songs need not necessarily be performed in Wyke Hills to qualify but must be performed somewhere during the duration of the contest; meaning songs from people who remain zombies over the holidays must be submitted in Zamgrh, Zombish, etc. So survivors, let’s get out there and make some music. Zombies, break through those barricades and sing your un-beating hearts out or serenade your favorite RP. More Shiny Template Spam will be awarded to the winners in zombie and human song categories.

Songs

(Please post entries below using "===="s around the song title. Include where, when and if the song was performed, and place a signature following the lyrics as per the example)


Sample Song:A Christmas in Whittenside

A Christmas in Whittenside

It's beginning to look like such a ghost town

Ev'rywhere you go;

Take a look in the old PD it seems to be Harman-free

With smears of blood and not a sign aglow.


It's beginning to look like such a ghost town

once the screaming stops,

And the death that this portends makes the silence that descends

on the old roof tops.


A pair of steelietoed boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of area friends;

A DNA check and syringe in the neck

Is the hope that I’ll live again;

And Zombie hordes can hardly wait for the spring picnic to begin.


It's beginning to look like such a ghost town

Ev'rywhere you go;

There's a corpse in the Mais Motel, one in Colglough as well,

Signs of putrefaction starting to show.


It's beginning to look like such a ghost town

Chills you to your core

But the scariest thing you find is the claw-marks left behind

On your own front door.

Albert Schwan Albert Schwan 



The First Outbreak

The First Outbreak


The First outbreak, was over in Blackmore

With a bunch of test subjects in test center four

Up on the third floor, found eating the docs

The researchers panicked and threw all the locks.

Outbreak, outbreak, outbreak, outbreak

How many zombies can poor Malton take!


They infected the staff and ran to the streets

Saw lots of humans and ate them like treats.

And now on the streets, they met the police

who politely gestured and asked them to cease.

Outbreak, outbreak, outbreak, outbreak

How many zombies can poor Malton take!


They looked at the police, and the police looked back

The lead zombie groaned and commenced the attack.

They jumped the first cop, started eating his face

The rest of them scattered, the zombies gave chase

Outbreak, outbreak, outbreak, outbreak

How many zombies can poor Malton take!


And since that day, they spread far and wide

as for the survivors, those lived who did hide.

The border went up, around Malton land

No one comes no one goes now, and that’s how things stand

Outbreak, outbreak, outbreak, outbreak

How many zombies can poor Malton take!


--Sigmund amenhauser



Hark the Feral Zombies Sing

Hark the Feral Zombies Sing

Hark the feral zombies sing, “we will eat most anything”/

“fireman all soaked in gas, we’re still gonna chew your ass”/

Hungry all the zombies rise, they are in for a surprise/

If we can revive the lot, we have won, we beat the Rot/

If we can revive the lot, we have won we, we beat the Rot.


Hark the feral zombies sing “let’s all do some death culting”/

“now it’s time for gory raids, parachute past barricades”/

Brave survivors watch the walls, medics come from hospitals/

If we can just get them FAKs, that might hold off their attack/

If we can just get them FAKs, that might hold off their attack.


Hark the feral zombies say “now it’s time for some PK”/

“load a gun and grab your axe, give survivors 40 whacks”/

Survivors there’s no need to fear, cause now all the RPs are clear/

Grab some needles start a trend, run out and revive your friends. /

Grab some needles start a trend, run out and revive your friends.


Hark the feral zombie sings “now I’ve tried bout everything”/

“Either I become a working slob, or organize and join the MOB”/


(Wait… a …second…that wasn’t in the plans…)


(…)


C’mon all survivors rise, wipe the terror from your eyes/

If we can revive the lot, we have won, we beat the Rot/

If we can revive the lot, we have won we, we beat the Rot.


(Writen by D.S. R&D Member Buebert and performed in the Buckley Mall on Christmas eve)



We Three Bounty Hunters

We Three Bounty Hunters

We three Bounty Hunters of Malton are Bearing bullets we traverse afar.
Wasteland and Junkyard, NT and mall, following yonder flare.

O RNG Gods of wonder, RNG Gods of chance, RNG Gods with which our claims hangs.
AP leading, ammo proceeding,
Guide our bullets to the perfect kill.

Bountied a PKer on Malton's plain,
Bullets I bring to claim Him again,
Bounty Hunter forever, ceasing never
Bounty Hunter I will remain.

O RNG Gods of wonder, RNG Gods of chance, RNG Gods with which our claims hangs.
AP leading, ammo proceeding,
Guide our bullets to the perfect kill.

Axe chops to offer have I.
Knife owns a PKer in the eye.
Generator Dropping and Fuel Can filling,
Dark Buildings, they can not hide.

O RNG Gods of wonder, RNG Gods of chance, RNG Gods with which our claims hangs.
AP leading, ammo proceeding,
Guide our bullets to the perfect kill.

Mrh Cow is mine: it's bitter sound
asking for a breath of life from his doom.
Lurching, sighing, after bleeding and dying,
His fate sealed in the RG tomb.

O RNG Gods of wonder, RNG Gods of chance, RNG Gods with which our claims hangs.
AP leading, ammo proceeding,
Guide our bullets to the perfect kill.

Gory now behold He will arise,
Survivor and Revivification Syringe to lead him to a new Sacrifice.
Blam, Blam!
Sounds of screams are heard through the suburb and safe house.

O RNG Gods of wonder, RNG Gods of chance, RNG Gods with which our claims hangs.
AP leading, ammo proceeding,
Guide our bullets to the perfect kill.

Josh Clark

(Performed in The Splain Arms, Richmond Hills on Christmas eve)



Silent Night Maltonian Night

Silent Night Maltonian Night

Si-ilent night/Maltonian night
Scientists work/ free from fright
‘cades have been holding at very HB
Lately the burb has been quite zombie free
Maybe the horror has past
May be the horror has past


Si-ilent night/Maltonian night
Harmaz quake/ at the sight
Zombie horde members dripping with gore
Gnashing teeth always hungry for more
We’re all going to die-ie
We are all going to die


Si-ilent night/Maltonian night
NT syringe/ show your might
Bodies slump over and limbs start to jerk
Contents begin slow molecular work
Quick dump the bodies and ‘cade
Quick Dump the bodies and ‘cade


Albert Schwan Albert Schwan 

(performed Chistmas Day at Needs and Lodder NTs in Wyke Hills)



Baby, It's Dead Outside

Baby, It's Dead Outside

(Performed via satellite to the tune of Baby, It's Cold Outside - Dean Martin/Doris Day version in Wolfendall Arms, Wyke Hills on December 26, 2010)


I really can't stay
(but baby there's DEAD outside)
I've got to go away
(but baby there's zeds outside)
This evening has been
(was hoping you'd be less thin)
So very nice
(I see there's snow and prolly ice)
My unit will start worry
(the zeds will turn you to slurry)
My captain will be pacing the floor
(listen to the undead roar)
So really I'd better scurry
(maybe they'll make u sorry)
well, maybe just a 'cade or two more
(load your shotties up while I groarrr)
the wiki I've seen
(baby it's RED out there)
says this 'burb is GREEN
(there's only DEAD out there)
I wish I knew how
(your eyes are like twinkies now)
to wash fuel stains
(I'll bring the teeth, you bring the Brainzzz)
I ought to head-shoot you, Freak
(mind the sweet brain-rot reek)
at least I'm gonna say that I tried
(what's the sense in killin' my pride?)
one of us can't stay
(baby don't go out)

Ah, but there's DEAD outside

I simply must go
(but baby there's dead outside)
you'll think I'm a 'ho'
(naw, baby there's dead outside)
so tempting it's been
(how lucky we're 'caded in)
to not be nice
(they'll be on you like white on rice)
I'm getting a bit suspicious
(bet your brainz are delicious)
my squad will be here in a minute
(my blood has infection in it)
those claws and teeth sure look vicious
(Ooo! Your eyes look delicious)
well, maybe just a first aid kit more
(swear! This never happened before)
I've got to get safe
(too bad you're thin as a waif)
say, stop that talk now!
(just nibble your knees right there)
you're really undead
(what? You never met a zed?)
headshot to be
(how can you do this thing to me?)
you'll just stand again tomorrow
(try to suck out your marrow)
at least there has been plenty belied
time for you to eat lead and die
you really can't stay
(maybe I should go out)

Baby, it's too late now!
BANG. THUD.
Bad Attitude BarbieSDN



Malton Winceslas (Contest Winner)

Malton Winceslas

Good King Winceslas looked long
On the streets of Malton
Lo the barricades were strong
But zeds they were not haltin'
Lurching rotters roam the night
But we're safe here and fresh
Then the horde came into sight
Coming to eat our flesh

Hither, friends, and stand by me
Helping with the cading
Lots of zombies I do see
Our chances they are fading
Fear ye not for we are near
And we will survive it
We'll keep fighting and stand here
And we will live through it

Eating brains and drinking blood
Bring my shotgun ready
I will put him in the mud
Shoot him in the head-y
Knight and Ranger side by side
Skynet and Wulves together
And together we will fight
In this snowy weather

And the night it comes to pass
As the zeds grow stronger
Now my bullets can not last
For ver-y much lon-ger
See my footsteps in the snow
Leading zombies a-way
But then now what they don't know
I free run to safe-ty

As we secure our safe house
Build cades extra heav-i-ly
Then hide quiet as a mouse
Watching doors read-i-ly
Therefore, survivors, be sure
Axe or gun posessing
Shoot the zombies, two, three, four
Head shots a christmas blessing.

Knut Staake

(Performed by Knut Staake of the Knights Templar in St Luke's Church in Kempersbank on Christmas eve)

Deck the Halls with Guns and Ammo

Deck the Halls with Guns and Ammo


deck the halls with guns and ammo
fa-la-la-la-la laladeeda
show no mercy with your headshots
fa-la-la-la-la laladeeda
I beseatch you, they will eat you
fa-lala-la-lala fa-la-la
Iam running out of words now....
fa-la-la-lala-la-la-la-LAAAAAAAAAAA!

(performed by 23skidoo of the Malton Rangers in St Luke's Church in Kempersbank on Christmas eve)



ARRH GAMZ ZA!N

ARRH GAMZ ZA!N
(from Auld Lang Syne by Robert Burns)

HHAHAN ABARH HRANZ-MANZ AHM NAH-RAMAMBARH,
AN NABARH BRANG ZAA BRA!N?
HHAHAN ABARH HRANZ-MANZ AHM NAH-RAMAMBARH,
AN ARRH GAMZ ZA!N?

HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N, MAH ZAMBAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N,
MAH BRAZZAHZ GRAB A GRAZZ AH HABBAHNAZZ RAH NAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

AN GAA GANNA ABZARB AH ZA-ARGAHARH-BARRN!
AN MAH ZAMBAH GANNA ABZARB AH MHA!N
MAH BRAZZAHZ GRAB A GRAZZ AH HABBAHNAZZ RAH NAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N MAH ZAMBAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N,
MAH BRAZZAHZ GRAB A GRAZZ AH HABBAHNAZZ RAH NAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

ZAMBAHZ RAN AZZARH ZAH NABARN
AN GRAB ZAH BANZAZ GAHN-ZMAZH HRA!N
ZAMBAHZ ZAMBAH-RAN MANNAH AH RAGABAZH RAG-HANZ
ZANG ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N, MAH ZAMBAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N,
MAH BRAZZAHZ GRAB A GRAZZ AH HABBAHNAZZ RAH NAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

ZAMBAHZ ZRAM AHN ZAH ZHABZ-NABARN
NA-AHNNA ZAN-GAMZ AHNNA RA!N
BAH BAG-ZHABZ-NABARN AHN-NAH-AHN MAH BRAZZAHZ HAZ BAG-GAB
ZAN ARRH GAMZ ZA!N

AN HAARH AM MAH HANZ MAH ZAMBAH
AN GAA GRAB MAH ZAMBAH AGA!N
ZAMBAHZ HABBAH AHN NABAH-BRA!NGAB ABZARB
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N

HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N, MAH ZAMBAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N,
MAH BRAZZAHZ GRAB A GRAZZ AH HABBAHNAZZ RAH NAH,
HRAH ARRH GAMZ ZA!N.

Albert Schwan Albert Schwan 
(performed in the Wolfendall Arms on New Year's eve)


A Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through K-bank the humans were loaded, and the zombies were rank. The cades were stacked by the door with care, in the hope that we humans would be safe in there.
A city divided; some living, some dead. On Christmas in Malton we'll paint the town red. Some Knights in Luke's Church, and I with my bong, had just settled in for some revelry and song.
When from near the front door we heard a low groan. We knew that the zombie would not be alone. I grabbed my pistol and then in a flash, slapped in a clip and fired up some hash.
By the light of the moon we saw them out there. Fifty? A hundred? But we didn't care! When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear, but Knut Staake tapping a fresh keg of beer!
We weren't worried, we had no cares. On this night our eyes were redder than theirs! Wolf hooked up a genny at 10 till eleven. The song on the radio was Stairway to Heaven.
I figured more Templars would join us this night. And I was already as high as a kite. So I pulled out a kilo of Lebanese hash. Even before the apocalypse it was worth more than cash!
We heard footsteps outside crunch through the snow. But it was no zombie, I want you to know! Saint Nick was out there! Dude was first class! He had a machete, and was kickin' some ass. We watched from a window shocked to the core, as he hacked and slashed his way to our door. In the blink of an eye Saint Nick was inside. He looked us over, and knew we were fried.
He sat down a bag that looked too big to lift, then reached inside and pulled out a gift. Knights and a hippy, here in St. Lukes...I brought you a mop, in case someone pukes."
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! He said in his sleigh was a hooker named Sherry. She billed by the hour, and we got the point. He only had time to torch up one joint.
He was chubby and plump, and getting quite high. Who would have guessed he's a partying guy? This was surely a night to long be remembered. If only we lived, and weren't dismembered.
He left through the door and back to his work, pausing to kill some PK'ing jerk. He whipped out a shotgun, and blasted away. Now that was a sight for which I would pay.
He sprang to his sleigh, to go off in the night. And we all heard him say, as he flew out of sight, not Merry Christmas...or have a great life; what Santa shouted was, Don't tell my wife!


(by A Stoned Hippy of The Knights Templar. Performed in St Luke's Church in Kempersbank on Christmas eve)

(provided by Knut Staake)

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