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Jps highfive.jpg
Abbreviation: JPSZ
Group Numbers: 10
Leadership: Dr Ransom and MoreThanDork
Goals: Currently... who knows? Anarchy!! Long term goals still include eating Fishel and/or other Fortress members.
Recruitment Policy: We've never recruited anyone one of us didn't know in person... but if you think Jashca Pohl sucks we won't stop you from joining!
Contact: Come say H!, Hah, or Harrah on our forum

Zahazha Bharh zahgz!

General Information

This group consists mainly of those who believe that JP sucks, although some members, for instance JP himself, are of the opinion that Dan Baker sucks. What none of them will dispute, however, is graagh, brnhr, and that harmanz arh hambargarz.

We have developed a great deal of affection for one Fishel, of The Fortress. He heckles us, and then sometimes we let him shoot us. It's cute. We love you, Fishel! We are pleased with his return to Malton, but saddened by both his refusal to heckle us again and our inability to find and eat him.


  • August 27, 2006

The JPSZ crew had a party in Carder Row School. Refreshments were provided by The Fortress. We redecorated a little.

  • September 2, 2006

Our second party was held in the Bowle Museum. It got a late start due to some of the guests being late, but once it got going it sure was partylicious! The Fortress once again kindly provided some very tasty refreshments, and the redecoration continued (though some of the streamers were still up from last week). Jambo danced.

  • September 11-14, 2006

The JPS Zambahz performed at the zoo in the Broadway Zombies' production of Raahan G!ng. We played the hyenas! Dr Ransom took lots of linguistic samplings.

  • October 31, 2006

Dr Ransom attended the Halloween Hootenanny of Horror at the Malton City Zoo, and didn't take the pith helmet from his costume off for weeks to come.

  • November 1-10, 2006

Lent our support to Shacknews at Caiger Mall. Dr Ransom personally dragged a survivor kicking and screaming out of the upper left corner, and devoured a number of others inside. Delicious.

  • January 4, 2007

At least one member was a guest of the Quartly Study Group for their Zombie Lecture Series, and at least one other attended a really fabulous party at the Pitman Mansion, and got hit on by Fishel.

  • Currently

MoreThanDork and Marte still hang around the Quartly Library, along with recently returned Jambo and our newest member, Alache. We haven't heard from Fishel in a long time, but it's ok... we know he's alive because we read his myspace.


  • Dr Ransom

Dr Ransom was originally a linguist interested in zombie speech. It turned out to be a dangerous subject to study, however, and after spending much time undead making field recordings, he gave in to the temptation to eat those who were once his fellow survivors. This hasn't stopped the advance of his research, however, and he hopes to eventually publish an article presenting his analysis of zombie language, or what he has dubbed "Zombie Pidgin English."

  • MoreThanDork

More than dork but less than human, this flesh-hungry zed has a talent for the sneak attack. With the uncanny ability to lurch about town when survivors least expect it, he sneaks in and out of barricaded survivor safe houses without a peep, alerting his zombie brethren to buildings most ripe for pillaging. It's never safe to sleep with this zed in your subarb.

  • Kyla Summers

Kyla was a sweet, fairly attractive schoolgirl. Now she is a sweet, fairly attractive undead schoolgirl.

The following members have not submitted descriptions, so Dr Ransom has taken the liberty of writing some for them:

  • Belshazzar

Belshy totally rocks the Casbah. He is one of the most hardcore zambahz in the group. Rock on, Belshy, rock on.

  • Dead Baker

No, this isn't JP. This is Dan Baker, and he sucked so much he DIED. When Dead Baker eats you, you will think about how much he sucks. And if he sucks, that must mean JP is totally sweet.

  • jambosque

Jambo is a little crazy. He says random things, and he dances. I'm not sure whether I'm describing the player or the character.

  • Marcus Pike

Only Dr Ransom gets the reference as to who this member is. Everyone else who does not watch enough awesome sci-fi shows is very confused. Pikes are cool weapons; unfortunately, zambahz cannot use them.

  • Marte the Moocher

Marte killed two harmanz on her first day - she is a natural! Not much is known about her. She thinks you look tasty.

  • Pinkus

Pinkus tends to wander away from his horde, sometimes ending up several suburbs away. We always welcome him back though, since we are so kind and forgiving.

  • DroolingMonkey

Has made the claim that Dr Ransom used to do cruel experiments on her when they were alive. The Doc of course denies the accusations.

  • Alache

Often heard to yell "Bahn Bahn!" or "Raab!" at one of the Quartly librarians... If you can't understand him, don't worry; he's probably speaking Zombie Afrikaans.

Fishel.PNG <3 Fishel <3
This user or group would love to eat Fishel.
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