Journal:Scrapped

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Day 59 . . . Suna's Day, October Fifteenth

I blud bdaly. I keped ataked by my on meet adn blud. I wes anoyd. I dad not no wich to do. I sowt out it tras and wastd mush ma enrjy, bat I fond hem. It was wundid. I tenated it awy sach malace, it fritened me. I do not no, why, but in motlatin, I blevd in the midle, as if I ded somwat wrogly. But I hed too tenated it away. I hed begn somting adn hed I id too ternate. Afr I wes donn, I red a boke, whach I hed tekan ons frem a sarvvl libry. I thek thet I red har, somehow. Thes porsen I wes ons, er abl nvar wes too sat ther brane too th yos. Adn the rww petrs of it lern wit a fest sped. I kep hedak ez adn har am terubl. Adn if I meen beginin crak, ma teth al loos go, adn I muts fet tham back ins. Thin blud gos evywer. I hat maslef.

I'm bleeding badly. I got attacked by one of my own flesh and blood. I was angered. I didn't know what to do. I tracked him down, wasting much of my energy, but I found him. He was wounded. I finished him off with such malice, it scared me. I don't know why, but in the middle of the mutilation, I felt as if I was doing something wrong. But I had to finish him off. I had started something, and I had to end it. After I was done, I read a book I had once taken from a survivor library. I think I read it, somehow. This person I once was, they were never able to put their brain to use. And the raw parts of it are learning at a fast speed. I get headaches easily, and it's awful. And when I crack my neck, my teeth go all loose, and I have to fit them back in. Then blood goes everywhere. I hate myself. </div>


Day 57 . . . Fram's Day, October Thirteenth

Ma hed hutrs. I whent arond th sity adn too eny kand of th way sawt too evan swich too my framer. Somtims I canat styer me. I mast atak a sarvor. I no that tis rong adn I hatt it. Btu I kepe strate hugry, adn my body taks ovr. Ma brane haz fue propls. I atakd a men, btu I ded nt kil hem. Ma boddy thot tht ited beterr, itno a bulding iz too be gon. I hatt en sush a whay go. Ma boddy allays belevs tingy and my begning too hutrs. Adn if I swer meet in my opanin charj, I, fell it so wronlly. Bot I canatt sotp. Adn bodes meen th blud covrd. I tyr adn tak cotol tomrw, but the body hates me strate. Brane hes awiys bafor it feer.

My head hurts. I've been walking around the town, searching for some sort of way to revert to my former self. Sometimes, I can't control myself. I have to attack a survivor. I know it's wrong, and I hate it. But I just get hungry, and my body takes over. My brain has little will power. I attacked a man, but I didn't kill him. My body thought it'd be better to go in a building. I hate walking like this. My body feels tingly, and my neck always hurts. And when I mash flesh in my mouth, I swear, it feels so wrong. But I can't stop. And the blood covers my body. I'll try and take control tomorrow, but the body just hates me. Brain is always afraid of him.

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