Late Night TV Crue/January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!

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January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!

Strike1.jpg

As most of you know by now, we - the members of the Late Night TV Crue are but humble entertainers. We live to bring some small measure of joy into the humdrum lives of the few remaining plebeians of Malton who have managed to avoid becoming zombie food. Yet there is a force of evil, a loathsome organization, a pack of pedants who would prevent your faithful comedy troupe from performing its near-sacred duty.


It has come to our attention that Team Zombie Hardcore represents, supports and sympathizes with the greedy, money grubbing, filthy lucre loving bloated fat cats in Hollywood that would keep creative individuals such as ourselves down. We work while they leech at our the very soul of our creativity! I tell you fellow Maltonians, THIS SHALL NOT STAND. Our response? To go out and Strike. The Writer's Strike is ON people!


You don't have to be a PKer to show your support. Demonstrate your solidarity with the LNTVC against the greedy entertainment industry by punching a member of Team Zombie Hardcore in the face today!! Leave the killing to us, but show your distaste for the proliferation of something even more evil than the grisly undead - REALITY TV SHOWS.


Check back here for the exploits of the LNTVC as we enter 'advanced negotiations' with the lilly livered bean counters of Team Zombie Hardcore.


Here's today's foray - only one TZH feller, but the other two deserved death too... heck, don't we all?

You say "Seriously Diio - you've gotta sign this new contract. It's time to stop being greedy and END this forsaken Writer's strike!! Maybe this will send a message to your fat cat movie producer pals..."
You say "Scot - until Team Zombie Hardcore stops representing the fat cats at the movie and TV studios, the Writer's Strike will continue. It's time to return to the negotiating table - the people want their entertainment. Take this message to your superiors..."
You say "Since you killed Gianni, I haven't had a stitch to wear Andrew. Jerk!! Kiss kiss!"


We shall overcome brazahz and siztahs! WE SHALL OVERCOME!!! Kiss kiss!


I just broadcast this as well:

Sarahstrike11.jpg
To the members of Team Zombie Hardcore,
toadies of greedy Hollywood fat cats
This is Sarah Silverman of the Late Night TV Crue
We declare a Writers Strike against YOU –
you shall pay so long as You fail to come to the
negotiating table for fair wages for entertainment writers.
Each day, some of your membership shall die.
You are responsible for something worse
than Zombies in Malton: More reality TV
The rest of you, show your support for the Writers Strike!
Punch a member of Team Zombie Hardcore in the face today!
Post an inWitness on the LNTVC wiki talk page!
Tell them to End the Writers Strike!
Send your message today! Punch them in the face!
See http://tinyurl.com/257paz for more info!
We shall overcome!! Kiss kiss - love Sarah Silverman...


January 11th: Initial Negotiations

Another day, another battle in the ongoing struggle for pay equity for entertainment workers!!

Strike2.jpg

Dhave Grohl and one of his cretins set the tone for our initial negotiations last night by viciously murdering yours truly. You said to me, in typical "The Man's keeping us Down" fashion:


"Sarah Silverman, you are hereby executed for crimes against TZH. Your comedy routine is sub par, you're lucky you're totally fucking hot. Smoking. Just in case you didn't know, war with us = stupid. This is a taste of what you'll get forever. BTTW!!!"


Wow, let's examine everything wrong with that statement:


  1. You insult my comedy. That's no way to start a negotiation, Dhave! I'm certainly enjoying myself!
  2. You sexually harass me. While I'm sure you hope I'll be flattered, spare me your lewd comments you greasy haired freak! I didn't bust my ass from being a writer on SNL to doing a bunch of second class movies to finally getting some professional respect only to be reduced to my bra size! I KNOW I'm fucking hot - and I don't need vermin like you telling me so. Secondly, in a business context, it's harassment, and it's against the law.
  3. This isn't WAR Dhave, it's a worker's movement. There need be no further issue if you'll just meet our terms.
  4. BTTW - I assume this is your rally cry, "Balls to the Whals"? I'm just going to say briefly: Sad. Oh and if you like acronyms so much, here's one for you:
D, TJSC - TAOOY. Which of course stands for - "Dhave, the jerk store called - they are out of you."


Well, we're ready for such dastardly tactics - such union busting, strike breaking dirty dealings! Next you'll be bringing in scabs to fight your battles for you! In any case, it was nice of you to stay at the very same negotiating table after concluding the repression of the common entertainer. I returned and said:


"I received your fax about an invitation to discuss terms Dave, but it was unacceptable. Please try to stay on topic. Your offer was, frankly, insulting to the writers of America. SOLIDARITY!!"


Then of course I executed you. We can go round and round like this Dhave. DHHHAHAHAHAAAVE. Man, it sounds like I've got too much phlegm in my throat when I say that or something. DHAAAAAAAAAAWKKKKK - patoooie! My how unladylike, but boy does that feel better. Dhawwwhkave, how about you just start meeting our demands and we can end this nasty business?


Surely the people of SW Malton won't sympathize with the "man" over those that entertain them so?


I broadcast this this morning on local Frequencies:

People of SW Malton - Sarah Silverman here again...
The strike continues - Team Zombie Hardcore is extra nasty!!
Send your message of support for the Writers!
Punch a member of TZH in the face today! Let them
Know that you won’t stand for their greedy ways!
The LNTVC is fighting for YOU – show your support!
Team Zombie Hardcore Leader Dhavid Grohl hates
Freedom. He wants to kill your puppy and make you
Watch reality TV. Tell them to end the strike! Meet the
Demands of the LNTVC!
What do we want? FAIR WAGES!
What do we want? FAIR WAGES!
Who's to Blame? TEAM ZOMBIE HARDCORE!
What should we do? PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!!
What should we do? PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!!
Stay strong Brozahs and Siztahs! Silverman out - Kiss kiss!



Stephen Colbert speaks!!

Yesterday afternoon, I was strolling about in North Blythville and ran into this TZH member, tenamautomatic. With the writers on strike, I had nothing clever to say as I PK'd him. This situation MUST stop! I can't be out there PK'ing people without a clever quip. Who's going to read my mind and transcribe it into clever words that I can then read back as I punt some useless survivor back to the ranks of the "Mrh? Cows"? --Stephen Colbert DFA 19:39, 11 January 2008 (UTC)



Latest Strike Activity

So I got killed, I think others in the LNTVC may have gotten killed by various members of TZH too -- we of course plan for this eventuality in our Strike Attack Plan. No gains can be made for the working man without spilling a little blood. Totally expected and predicted. So, then we killed a few of them in the mall, and we've been working the radio hard. GO PUNCH THEM PEOPLE!!! We can't do this alone!!


Oh, and we killed that A Blood Soaked Oataku loser too. Trench knife for me, indeed. Thanks to the citizen who pointed out that he was the one who broadcast that cowardly without signing it.

Look at the Radio Support we're receiving!!

Up here, me and a bounty hunter had a little exchange about how he wants to bring us to justice, but he likes what we're doing to the greedy tools of the man, TZH

  • 27.99 MHz: "Not a problem, Sarah. Though I may be a griefer hunter, and" (exactly 22 hours ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "you a griefer, it's comforting to know we can come together" (21 hours and 59 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "in mocking TZH and their general stupidity. - [Name withheld]" (21 hours and 58 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: " Y'know, all this togetherness is really getting to me" (21 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "In the spirit of the New Year, Sarah, I will punch a TZH" (21 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "Just for you. - [name withheld]" (21 hours and 24 minutes ago)


By far, the most interesting thing has been our ongoing conversations with the leadership of Team Zombie Hardcore all over the place - the wiki, our forum, our personal talk pages and so on. Their leader, Dhavid Grohl, and another 'spokesperson' Duke Cage are really the antithesis of clever or funny, and behave rather like toddlers with poopy diapers and absentee parents. Or like teenagers whose Ritalin prescriptions have been overused. Despite that - some of their rank and file members are actually FUNNY!

I submit for your consideration, gentle reader:

Since your last turn:

  • [NAME WITHHELD - BUT THANKS!!]] healed you for 10 HP. (20 hours and 9 minutes ago) ...and again.
  • Alexander Karelin+ shot you with a pistol for 4 damage (a bunch of times)
  • Alexander Karelin+ punched you for 1 damage. (18 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  • Alexander Karelin+ said "I, Alexander Karelin SMASH Late Night TV fools for they mess with TZH. I make much pain on bitch face! AAARRRHH!! now you die foolish American swine woman!" (18 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  • You were killed by Alexander Karelin+. (18 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • Alexander Karelin+ dumped your body out onto the street. (18 hours and 22 minutes ago) - so nice that he was NEAT too!


Then just yesterday:


Since your last turn:

  • Alexander Karelin+ said "Time to Make Break of stupid face of yours, Bitch who is Not funny pker!" (13 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • shu+ shot you with a pistol for 4 damage. (13 hours and 55 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. (13 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  • a puke covered bum+ said "BBBBllllLUUUUGGGHH!!!!AAAAHHHHBBBULLLUUGH! (( pukes all over Sarah Silverman))) ... uh. so drunk. damnit you dumb bitch you got in the way of my puke BbblLLuuuaaaGH CHUCk! (( pukes all over Sarah again, in her hair))" (13 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  • a puke covered bum+ said "(( upchucks in her mouth while she sleeps )) oh shit sorry bitch thats gross. didn't mean to. can't believe your bitch ass didn't wake up. damn. guess this is what you get for starting a war with TZH members. bluUUUUGH! (( hurls all over Sarah )))" (13 hours and 50 minutes ago)

(more shooting by all of them)

  • a puke covered bum+ said "BBBLLLuuUUGHH! (( pukes out window )) theres some cusion for you when we drop your dead ass bitch body out the window. yahoo! im so fucking drunk BBllllUUUGH! ((pukes again)) theres some for Colbert. BBBLLLUGH (( pukes again )) thinking of you people" (13 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  • You were killed by shu+. (13 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  • a puke covered bum+ dumped your body out onto the street. (13 hours and 45 minutes ago) - another NEAT one! Pretty impressive for a homeless person.


So these two - Karelin and a puke covered bum clearly took some joy in what they were doing. They were kinda funny!


By contrast, here's what Grohl and Cage said while killing me a few days before the aboves:


  • Dhavid Grohl said "Sarah Silverman, you are hereby executed for crimes against TZH. Your comedy routine is sub par, you're lucky you're totally fucking hot. Smoking. Just in case you didn't know, war with us = stupid. This is a taste of what you'll get forever. BTTW!!!"


Pretty lame and trenchie by comparison, right?


Maybe you guys should consider deposing Dhave Grohl and elect Karelin as your leader? Seriously, I think we could negotiate with someone like that. Dhave just doesn't seem to be up to the task emotionally or have the requisite maturity. I think this strike could be ended much sooner if Alexander Karelin were the new CEO of the greedy TZH bastards.


DOWN WITH GROHL! ELECT THE RUUSKIE!!!

DOWN WITH GROHL! ELECT THE RUUSKIE!!!

DOWN WITH GROHL! ELECT THE RUUSKIE!!!


At this point, I think we're done talking to Dookie Cage (happy?) and Dhavid Grohl. I will only negotiate with Alexander Karelin or a puke covered bum.


SOLIDARITY!!

Latest LNTVC radio broadcast

  • Writer's Strike Day 10: Team Zombie Hardcore is starting to
  • Show some signs of wear. In fact, we at the Late Night TV
  • Crue now believe that there can be no further negotiations
  • With Team Zombie Hardcore’s current leader, Dhave Grohl
  • We think, frankly, that he is mentally unstable. In his
  • quest for ultimate reign over all entertainment rights
  • and revenues for SW Malton, he has gone stark raving mad.
  • We believe that he should be deposed as leader of TZH.
  • We support the candidacy of Alexander Karelin.
  • We can negotiate with Alexander Karelin
  • Karelin for leader of TZH!
  • Karelin for leader of TZH!
  • Grohl’s a tohl! We’re smellin’ Karelin!
  • Grohl’s a tohl! We’re smellin’ Karelin!


  • People of SW Malton - remember until the strike is over
  • YOU can show your support by punching a member of TZH
  • and post an inWitness on the LNTVC wiki talk page!
  • We're fighting for YOU against the greedy bastards!
  • --Kiss kiss love Sarah Silverman.


Still more for January 15th

Yet another lackluster example of Dhavid Grohl's leadership. Here's him attacking Stephen Colbert yesterday. Look how bland his taunts are. Most importantly - notice who does most of the work, and in the end is responsible for cleaning up Dhavid Grohl's mess. Look who's the stalward rock of Gibraltar ready to take the reigns as the ONE TRUE HEIR of Papa Nixon for the TZH!!


KA-REL-IN!!


  • Dhavid Grohl said "Heroes, this Stephen Colbert DFA is a huge dickhead and worse. He's a PKer. Proof is here: http://z7.invisionfree.com/TZH/index.php?act=idx take a look around. Time to die you PKer piece of shit." (21 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  • Dhavid Grohl hit you with a fire axe for 3 damage.
  • Alexander Karelin shot you with a shotgun for 8 damage. (21 hours and 7 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. (21 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  • ObiFirefighter shot you with a shotgun for 8 damage. (exactly 21 hours ago)
  • ObiFirefighter shot you with a shotgun for 8 damage. (exactly 21 hours ago) ...and again. (20 hours a
  • ObiFirefighter shot you with a pistol for 4 damage. (20 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  • You were killed by ObiFirefighter. (20 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  • Alexander Karelin dumped your body out onto the street.


Here's an iWitness account


  • Karelin for leader of TZH!
  • Karelin for leader of TZH!


  • Grohl’s a tohl! We’re smellin’ Karelin!
  • Grohl’s a tohl! We’re smellin’ Karelin!


More:


  • 27.99 MHz: "Blame TZH! Punch them for too much chatter!" (16 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "Is here being Alexander Karelin for TZH" (16 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "I gladly accept nominations for leadings of TZH, and promise" (16 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "negotiations with strikes of writers persons. Thank you." (16 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  • 27.99 MHz: "Spaceba, Disvedanya." (16 hours and 27 minutes ago)


Yay!! Go Alexander GO!! Alexander for NEW LEADER OF TZH



Heard on the radio today 1/17/08


  • 27.99 MHz: Latest news on the writer's strike from Sarah Silverman...
  • 27.99 MHz: There have been fantastic developments today!
  • 27.99 MHz: Stock in Team Zombie Hardcore is plummeting
  • 27.99 MHz: As a result of the writer’s strike.
  • 27.99 MHz: In today’s stock market, TZH stock lost
  • 27.99 MHz: Over 134% of its value. They’ve got all the market
  • 27.99 MHz: Cap of a former soviet republic these days!


  • 27.99 MHz: Even now there is an administrative action pending
  • 27.99 MHz: Against the group and against the soon-to-be deposed
  • 27.99 MHz: Charlatan leader, Dhavid Grohl.
  • 27.99 MHz: Remember:
  • 27.99 MHz: Karelin is gellin’- Grohl’s a troll!
  • 27.99 MHz: Karelin is gellin’- Grohl’s a troll!


  • 27.99 MHz: Thanks to our friends in The Malton Skeet Club as well
  • 27.99 MHz: You guys have really brought pedantry to an
  • 27.99 MHz: Exciting new level on the wiki. It’s truly a work of art!
  • 27.99 MHz: So remember to keep punching TZH. We’re winning Folks!
  • 27.99 MHz: Soon we’ll win a fair an just settlement for the
  • 27.99 MHz: Entertainment writers of Malton. Stay STRONG people!
  • 27.99 MHz: More news later! Kiss kiss, Love Sarah Silverman.
  • 27.99 MHz: Oh, and Duke Cage blows goats.
  • 27.99 MHz: Kiss kiss!!