Leighton Kru/Mock You

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Leighton Kru

"Coming at you, gonna cut you!"

We're back, bitches!
Leighton Town - Phatta Kru Than You - Gonna Cut You! - Mocking You!


Leighton Kru does a Steve Irwin.

We recently had an invite from the Flowers of Disease to attend a crocodile extermination at Skarin Row PD. Being the nice kindly sorts that we are, we accepted their generous offer, and grabbed our extra cutty knives.

LKKills.jpg

Worth a mention...

Sir Fleshy just sent me this:

  1. Gorgomath said "Watch out for Sir Fleshy... Leighton Kru are bastards. I'd execute him right now but I need more ammo." (36 minutes ago)

We liked this. Cheers Gorgomath!

Holiday Present

The Leighton Kru are off for a few days, but we'll be back next monday! Feel free to come and lower our bounties at Billinghurst Place Police Department in the mean time. However, before we went, we thought we'd put our efforts into one last strike with whatever we had left, which happened to be a bunch of zombies, fire axes and bugger all AP. But we still cut you!

  1. Sir Fleshy killed Ashkente. (6 minutes ago)
  2. A zombie killed Strobeone. (3 minutes ago)
  3. paulbutler killed Larry D Kelly. (2 minutes ago)
  4. A zombie brought down the last of the barricades. (40 seconds ago)
  5. paulbutler killed Sashe Grey. (5 seconds ago)
  6. King Sausage killed BeLaT. (45 seconds ago)
  7. Vinyl Plate killed sithlord17. (9 minutes ago)
  8. King Sausage killed BlutoBelushi. (7 minutes ago)
  9. Lord Taxalot killed Jonathan Awlais Cade. (6 minutes ago)
  10. Solo Polo Vision killed hellfrozenover. (3 minutes ago)

See you all soon!



Leighton Kru's Rhodenbank Cunts and Dicks Cleansing Tour

We at the Leighton Kru recently returned to our sacred home town turf of Rhodenbank, only to find it was overrun by muppets! We also noticed that our normal game of go-shoot-up-the-ablett-arms was off, as the RCDC had all buggered off in different directions. What a bitch. So we came up with the Rhondenbank Cunts and Dicks Cleansing Tour. We all split up, and roamed the town, and this is how it went down...

We're hunting people who look like this

  1. You say "Leighton Kru's Rhodenbank Cunt and Dick Cleansing act decree's Taking Back Sunday as a shit emo fag band, and you a shit emo fag. Bye bye!"
  2. You fire at Taking Back Sunday for 5 damage. They die.
  3. You say "oooo. an RCDC member. I think I'll use the last of my AP on you!"
  4. You fire at BurnsMe for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  5. You say "DEATH TO RCDC!!!"
  6. You say "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
  7. You say "*ahem*"
  8. Vinyl Plate says What the fuck you looking at blud? you dizzy blud? you fink your bad?
  9. Vinyl Plate killed Master Unit for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that damage. They die.
  10. Little derik says "Leighton kru just axed you"
  11. Little derik attacks Hunnia00 for 3 damage. They die.
  12. Little derik says "blates"
  13. Vinyl Plate says Leighton kru! ave kut you foo!
  14. Vinyl Plate killed Crackin for 5 damage. They die.
  15. Vinyl Plate says "You best be craking now blud!"
    And this...
  16. snorklemonster Killed Bane Croooow for 10 damage. They die.
  17. Snorklemonster fired at NecroTechPerson for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that # damage. They drop to 4 HP.
  18. Snorklemonster fired at NecroTechPerson for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that damage. They die.
  19. snorklemonster says "Devonshire Pussy's Mate!"
  20. Snorklemonster fired at Georgia Peach for 10
  21. Snorklemonster says "Lucky fat Bitch! Leighton Kru will be bak for you sket!" to the fifty people nearest to you.
  22. Acerjaponica attacks Georgia Peach for 3 damage. They die.
  23. Acerjaponica says "Leighton Kru dun you "
  24. paulbutler says "latest addition to the Leighton Kru! Paul Butler is here to Kut You!"
  25. paulButler killed at Bubb07 for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that damage. They die.
  26. paulbutler killed Electric Wizard for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that
  27. paulbutler killed OldAndLonelyTortoise for 5 damage. They die.
  28. paulbutler says "Game over! Leighton Kru Fucked You!"
  29. You say "Leighton Kru's Rhodenbank Cunts and Dicks Cleansing act decrees that S.T.A.R.S. simply isn't original enough, and therefore should be pwned." to the fifty people nearest to you.
  30. You fire at Ian Patrick for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that damage. They die.
  31. You say "Leighton Kru's Rhodenbank Cunt and Dick Cleansing Tour finds you, Erin McGuire, guilty of being a Cunt and a Dick! Gutted mate." to the fifty people nearest to you.
  32. You fire at Erin McGuire for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
    And most definately this!
  33. You say "And that goes for you to Ashkente, you berk." to the fifty people nearest to you.
  34. You fire at Ashkente for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  35. You say "Oh hi Doogzz"
  36. You fire at Doogzz for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  37. You say "Oh bye Doogzz"
  38. You fire at zombierepellent for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  39. You fire at DORISbountyhunter for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  40. You say "Goddam bounty hunters. You're all creeps!"

For those interested, the scores worked out like this...

Sir Fleshy= 2

Nigel= 2

Nimoid = 1

Thug = 2

Leonard Knee = 1

Snorkle = 2 and a bit

paul = 3 (nice first time work dude!)

Vinyl = 2 (we also need to congratulate Vinyl on becoming our first KOS!)

Derik = 1

Ace = 1

RCDC Tour total = 17.


Gregg Does the Damage

I may be on holiday in Shearbank laughing it up with the DARIS boys, but that doesn't mean I've been slacking off!

  1. You fire at Oh God Dont Eat me for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  2. You fire at SewerUrchin for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  3. You fire at Ian Elliott for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  4. You fire at Vane Lockery for 5 damage. They die.

Not bad for one day, eh? Try to keep up lads.



Leighton Kru goes to town

We went back to the Ablett Arms to see if we could give them a hand doing up the place after our last visit, however, Leonard Knee forgot to mention that all he had in his toolbox was several shotguns, tons of ammo and a tape recorder. The results may make you weep openly.

  1. Vinyl Plate said "i left my wallet here, ive come to get it back!" (7 minutes ago)
  2. Nimoid healed you for 5 HP. (6 minutes ago)
  3. King Sausage said "We're back!" (6 minutes ago)
  4. Vinyl Plate killed Seu Jorge. (5 minutes ago)
  5. Nimoid killed Bane Croooow. (5 minutes ago)
  6. Nimoid said "Thats for you rubbish none fatal trap!" (4 minutes ago)
  7. King Sausage said "Gamearth get fuckin flak jacket you foo" (3 minutes ago)
  8. King Sausage killed Gamearth. (3 minutes ago)
  9. Sir Fleshy killed Bubb07. (3 minutes ago)
  10. Vinyl Plate killed chaohedgehogs. (2 minutes ago)
  11. Vinyl Plate said "That's for stealing my wallet BITCH!" (2 minutes ago)
  12. King Sausage said "You aint no beast, you should check out my guns!" (1 minute ago)
  13. Sir Fleshy said "Damn, no ammo, I'm gonna go back to mine, and get a shovel." (1 minute ago)
  14. King Sausage killed beast tank. (33 seconds ago)
  15. Vinyl Plate said "Leighton Kru have fucked you yet again!" (11 seconds ago)
  16. Nigel Laurence killed Cannonfadder.
  17. You attack Agnetha Jones for 2 damage. They die.
  18. You say "M3h kut j00!!!"
  19. You fire at Schloss Ritter for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  20. You broadcast "Attention RCDC! Leighton Kru have cut you!" on 27.96 MHz.
  21. You say "PKing is fun, You should try it! Oh, you can't... You're dead!"
  22. Lord Taxalot killed dapinkbunny
  23. You broadcast "The Ablett Arms seems emptier than usual..." on 27.96 MHz.
  24. You broadcast "Oh yeah, it's cos we killed everyone in it... Oops!" on 27.96 MHz.
  25. You broadcast "Well, what do you expect. The beer is shite" on 27.96 MHz.
  26. You smash at the generator. It breaks beyond repair.
  27. You spray Leighton Kru frown upon mobile phones here.

BAR attempts to compete...

"Posted by mortenmensch on Aug 13, 2007, 12:38am
King Sausage from Leighton Kru is waiting for a revive at Otto. The cheeky bastard. I'm going to take a few chunks out of him.
EDIT: He's active and I got infected - had to run for it before landing a single hit on him."

...and fails. Ahh well, better stick to the drinking of non existent beer then lads. Gimps.



Nimoid fucks up the Anstruther Building!

  1. You smash at the generator. It breaks beyond repair.
  2. You say "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
  3. You spray NIMOID 4 TEH W1N!!!11!! here.

Thanks Nimoid! That's Rhodenbank without mobile phone coverage for now...


John Thug does a bit of Pirate Radio :D

  1. You broadcast "Hi! This is John Thug! Sorry Bane Crow can't be with you :)" on 27.96 MHz.
  2. You broadcast "He's asked me to take over for now" on 27.96 MHz.
  3. You broadcast "He's asked me to tell all you inhabitants of Rhodenbank" on 27.96 MHz.
  4. You broadcast "to form an orderly line at Lahey Towers" on 27.96 MHz.
  5. You broadcast "so that the Leighton Kru boys can execute you, one by one" on 27.96 MHz.
  6. You broadcast "Thanks for listening guys :D xxx John Thug" on 27.96 MHz.


Satan Slaughter!


Sir Fleshy done more than kill players today - he done battle with an evil deity!

  1. You fire at The Great Satan for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  2. You say "I killed Satan! God loves my cock! Not Yours!"

And won! That's the power of the Leighton Kru right there. We even come at and cut Satan. Respect, you get me?!


Leighton Kru teaches the BAR boys how to drink

Following the success of the Leighton Kru's drink down the Ablett Arms, we decided to call on the Burchell Arms for a drink. Unfortunately, due to BAR activity, some of our kru were missing a pulse, but that's never stopped them before! Nigel reports...

  1. You Say, "Hi fellas, whatcha got on tap?"
  2. You Say, "Nothing good? Just as well we brought our own brew!"
  3. snorklemonster killed Moses Cripes. (8 minutes ago)
  4. Leonard Knee killed Rock Bonette. (7 minutes ago)
  5. Blackwane1 killed Mortenmensch. (4 minutes ago)
  6. snorklemonster said "Your beer is shit mate!" (3 minutes ago)
  7. Leonard Knee killed mbalbier. (3 minutes ago)
BARred!

  1. A zombie brought down the last of the barricades. (1 minute ago)
  2. A zombie killed Br0adway17. (52 seconds ago)
  3. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (47 seconds ago)
  4. John Thug killed jamsies. (1 minute ago)
  5. Vinyl Plate killed Rob Collick. (19 seconds ago)
  6. You fire at John Downdy for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  7. John Thug killed Kittystrophy. (5 seconds ago)
  8. You fire at Senor El Spielburgo for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  9. You attack RedBalfour for 2 damage. They die.
  10. You say, "Thanks for the drink, remember, you supply the booze, we bring the noise!"

Nice work BAR! See you guys soon!


Fleshy does his bit for equality

Sir Fleshy does everyone a favour...

  1. You say, "What a coincidence, I hate idiotic muppets!"
  2. You shoot ihateniggers for 5 HP. They die.
  3. You say, "PKer or not, I think we can all agree that kill was fair game.

Leighton Kru meets RCDC

RCDC's Bane Croooow kindly offered us an invite...

"Until then, come have a beer at the arms and we can all make fun of PKers bed wetting habits together."

...So the Leighton Kru took him up on his offer! Sir Fleshy reports...

Really Creative "Dicked" Caption

  1. Gregg Bayes said "Leighton Kru are stopping in for a pint and a fight!" (14 minutes ago)
  2. Leonard Knee killed mEMi. (14 minutes ago)
  3. snorklemonster killed Leoger. (13 minutes ago)
  4. Leonard Knee killed Shadow42. (12 minutes ago)
  5. snorklemonster killed chaohedgehogs. (10 minutes ago)
  6. Gregg Bayes said "Electric Wizard, it's time to Ride my Lightning!" (10 minutes ago)
  7. Gregg Bayes killed Electric Wizard. (10 minutes ago)
  8. Gregg Bayes killed eldd. (9 minutes ago)
  9. Nimoid killed joe lowsmen. (8 minutes ago)
  10. Vinyl Plate killed IsoJb. (5 minutes ago)
  11. Nimoid killed IsoJb. (5 minutes ago)
  12. Nigel Laurence killed Bane Croooow. (5 minutes ago)
  13. Nigel Laurence said "That Crow should;ve scavenged a Flak Jacket" (4 minutes ago)
  14. Nimoid killed Bubb07. (3 minutes ago)
  15. Vinyl Plate killed roy vincent. (3 minutes ago)
  16. Nigel Laurence said "Drakka-Drakka!" (2 minutes ago)
  17. Nigel Laurence killed K Drakar. (1 minute ago)
  18. Vinyl Plate killed Edogawa. (45 seconds ago)
  19. You fire at Major Anderson for 10 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 2 points of that damage. They die
  20. You say "What a major inconvieniance!"
  21. You fire at Amber Rose for 10 damage. They die.
  22. You say "Gardening tip! Turn a rose from Amber to Red with a little shotgun application!"
  23. John Thug killed Doogzz. (3 seconds ago)
  24. You fire at Erin McGuire for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
  25. You say "Cheers for the drink guys! We'll see you again soon, we promise. Don't call us, we'll call you."
  26. You fire at the generator. It breaks beyond repair.

Really Cracking Drink, Cheers!


You are a egg (AN egg! Please! If you are going to deface our entertaining kill section, then do it properly, you illiterate half man, half monkey, all arsehole fiend! (EDIT- After having it pointed out, I realise that this was you Leonard, but this only reinforces the quality and accuracy of the insult)-Ed)

YOU ARE A EGG!!!


Neon Nob!

Sir Fleshy is reunited with one of Leighton Kru's oldest friends...

  1. You say "To all watching! This is what happens when you mess with the Leighton Kru! This man is a Leighton Kru Multi-Time-Murderer, now he's gobbling lead for lunch and pissing bullets out of his neon cock for dinner!" to the fifty people nearest to you.
  2. You shoot Neon God for 5 Damage. They die.

We consider this a nice note on which to say to Neon God that this can be an end to hostilities as we have more important things to do than chase after him at the moment. However, will Neon God think the same way? Only time can tell...

On a less personal note, as I (Leonard Knee) haven't had much contact with NeonFagHole, we have decided that our offiial policy regarding him is to ignore him. We'll spray over his witticisms but only because we don't think its fair that others would have to read that shit. Other than that, we're ignoring him until further notice If he kills any of us, we'll revie them and move on. Later, when our cunning plans have reached fruition, we'll re-assess the situation, and possibly, if it will make us laugh, we'll begin to pay attention to him.

I take it all back! According to Nimoid, Neon God's profile had a line slagging us off. Nimoid didn't like this so took Neon God down. And rightly so! Good on you Nimoid!


Lord Taxalot encounters our friend Neon God.

  1. You say "Neon God, Leighton Kru has decided to spare your life.......NOT!"
  2. You fire at Neon God for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.

This guys getting killed so much by the Leighton Kru I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him.....NOT!


Vinyl Plate breaks out the literary mixing...

  1. Vinyl Plate said, "Consume this fool!"
  2. Vinyl Plate killed the consumer.

In Leighton Buzzard, you don't close school, school closes YOU!!!

  1. Gregg Bayes said "It's time for you all to leave, the school is closed to non-Leighton Kru" (23 minutes ago)
  2. Nimoid said "TierOne Support. We've claimed this school as Leighton Kru territory. Please leave." (23 minutes ago)
  3. Nimoid said "The same applies to the rest of you" (22 minutes ago)
  4. Gregg Bayes killed Kelenrai. (20 minutes ago)
  5. Gregg Bayes said "Kelenrai, consider yourself expelled!" (20 minutes ago)
  6. Gregg Bayes killed Darla Jenkins. (17 minutes ago)
  7. Gregg Bayes said "We're bringing back caining, only in the bullet to the head format" (17 minutes ago)
  8. John Thug killed MorganCallar. (16 minutes ago)
  9. Gregg Bayes said "Struck off the register!" (15 minutes ago)
  10. Leonard Knee killed Gilbot. (13 minutes ago)
  11. Leonard Knee said "CCCCUUUUUUUUNNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!" (13 minutes ago)
  12. Gregg Bayes said "Class dismissed!" (12 minutes ago)
  13. Gregg Bayes broadcast "Calling all DEM members" from here, on 26.26 MHz. (10 minutes ago)
  14. Gregg Bayes broadcast "Leighton Kru is coming at you" from here, on 26.26 MHz. (10 minutes ago)
  15. Gregg Bayes broadcast "And we are going to cut you" from here, on 26.26 MHz. (9 minutes ago)
  16. Gregg Bayes broadcast "That is all." from here, on 26.26 MHz. (9 minutes ago)"

Not even the holy people out there are safe from the Leighton Kru...

  1. Lord Taxalot said "Mongoose, in this church you will worship me as your new god!"
  2. Lord Taxalot said "Your about to learn the truth about heaven and hell."
  3. Lord Taxalot killed Mongoose Plissken.

Leighton Kru's comments from you!

Here at the Leighton Kru, we consider ourselves an equal opportunities insulter. That's why we've started the comments page! It works very similar to the Enemy Krus, where we insult you, and the more action you take against us, the greater the caliber of insult you receive! And here on the comments bit, we want more of the same action, only more interactive! Simply edit this bit to leave us a comment, sign it (no anon please, we don't like pussies) and one of us will get right back to you! If you are feeling particularly courageous, leave us your in-game co-ordinates as well so we can arrange a face to face meeting.


OFFICIAL APOLOGY:

Hey, this is Leonard Knee here. I recently received an email from a disgruntled fan:

" I have some serious respect for the Leighton Kru, after reading their pretty goddamn gangsta wiki page, but then some mutha smokes me! Hes in the Leighton Kru! I mean, sure, PKings fun, but im a fuckin fan, please, gimme some credit."

Mr. Dylan Swift. Please accept our sincerest apologies. We never mean to hurt our adoring fans, and as such I'd like to offer you our services. If you need a hand with some pesky survivors then give us a shout over email, or find one of us and ask us in person and we'll do our best to help you out. Thanks and sorry geezer!

This is Gregg, there's some other dude we PKed the other day. We didn't mean to kill him, sorry. But I can't remember his name, you know who you are email sending person!

"I think was me, I found it piss funny to be honest though!

Me and a couple of PKer mates are currently picking on the crocodile bum sniffers based in Skarin PD Dunningwood, if you ever feel like raiding it let us know.......

Rob Collick http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=890753"

ANOTHER OFFICIAL APOLOGY:

Earlier on, we struck the RCDC's HQ, the Ablett Arms. Amongst the kills was this one:

"Lord Taxalot killed dapinkbunny."

Now, at the time, we didn't realise that dapinkbunny wasn't a RCDC h0, but was actually a fine upstanding Player Killer. We apologise profusely to Mr Dapinkbunny, and assure him that it won't happen again. At least, we hope not. We will be spanking Lord Taxalot in a public spanking display to make up for it.

-Gregg Bayes


Yeah I got bored so I decided to read up on your LK shit. I found some of it funny but what I didn't get was this

Vinyl Plate killed IsoJb. (5 minutes ago) Nimoid killed IsoJb. (5 minutes ago)

Wtf! IsoJb 17:23, 17 August 2007 (BST)

Yeah, I don't fully understand that one. They both killed you simultaneously. Ahh well, could be worse, it could've been simultaneous rape.

-Gregg

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