Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club
Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club is an invitation-only society for members of the peerage who wish to exercise their divinely-granted right to hunt whatever game they wish, including the most dangerous game. Their numbers have never been large, but then that is the price one pays for exclusivity. Good day to you!
- August 2010
- In a private ceremony, Duke D'oeuvre assumes the title of Archduke, to better reflect his increasing power and dominion. The new Archduke is said to be looking forward to exercising both his new and old powers with increased scope, including carpe noctem, fiat tenebris, droit de siegneur, lex talionis, ipse dixit, ipsissima verba, et cetera, ad absurdum, et al.
- July 2010
- Duke D'oeuvre is the running mate of Misanthropy in the 2010 Mayoral Election.
- March 2010
- Good heavens, is it that time already? Time for a bit of a spruce-up, methinks.
- May 2009
- After months of negotiations, Lord Curton's Mostly Gentlemen's H.Armless Hunting Club reveals its existence and closes its doors to Malton. Champagne, caviar and cigars for
- March 2009
- Several subsidiaries are officially formed, Hunters Anonymous and Lord Curton's Great Highland Bagpipes. Much rejoicing is had, including a twenty-one* gun salute.
- (*Or maybe more, we didn't keep very good count on account of the high-quality refreshments. Mmm.)
- Intervening time
- Duke D'oeuvre is busy, his secretary is lazy and yet somehow is elevated to the nobility, and nobody updates the news. This may be fixed. Also, some other enterprises are worked on.
- September 2008
- After wishing Uncle Zeddie a fond farewell (minus fanfare) and sharing a few drinks with him and fellow bar patrons, the Club's members have set off once more for parts as yet un-revealed.
- August 2008
- The club president, Duke D'oeuvre, and his secretary, Miss Amber "Waves of" Pain, have appeared in a recent propaganda film by Josh Clark of Team Xtreme[sic], with Miss Pain performing in a leading role. While we must deplore their furthering the "zombie" myth, we applaud their efforts to show we social reformers in a more positive light. Bravo, Team Xtreme[sic]!
Originally formed by Mortimer Curton and some of his closest friends and associates, the Club has continued its existence through two world wars and numerous restrictions and limitations being placed upon the practice of hunting. Specifics as to membership and activities are vague, but the club was known to meet irregularly in Malton at Curton Mansion. After the outbreak in Malton and the subsequent disappearance of Aleister Curton, no club members were known to operate in the city until the re-emergence of Duke D'oeuvre and Lord Thistlewick in the vicinity of Lockettside.
As there is no known means of communication with the world outside Malton, and given the mysterious absence of a number of members, the current club organisation is as follows.
|Name and Title||Membership||Position or Roster(s)||Activity|
|Archduke D'oeuvre||Charter Member||President||Active|
|Lady of Pain||Noble Member||Club Whip||Active|
|Contessa Phair||Noble Member||Fine Art Curator||Active|
|Marquis LeGrande||Noble Member||Entertainment||Active|
|Lady L'vapour||Noble Member||Toilette||Active|
|Mr. Clive||Staff Member||Mortician||Active|
|Baron Banana||Noble Member||Refreshments||Active|
|Infante Dipcup||Noble Member||Refreshment||Active|
|HK 47||Silicon Staff Member||Interpreter||Active|
|Orkoiyot "Nonpei King" Altair||Noble Member||Spirit, Security||Active|
|Conte DeVita||Noble Member||Refreshments||Active|
|Mr. Garrison||Staff Member||Bartender||Active|
|Rev'd. Prussian||Staff Member||Fortified Sacrament Dispenser||Active|
|Mr. Gunston||Staff Member||Barber/Hair Stylist||Active|
|Mr. Wright||Staff Member||Dispatcher||Active|
|Mr. Vampire'Slayer||Staff Member||Vermin Control||Active|
|Professor Thanatos||Staff Member||Transhumanism Researcher||Active|
|Mr. Cheney||Staff Member||Hunting Safety, Information||Active|
|Inspector Finch||Staff Member||Dignity Enforcement||Active|
|Polemarchos Lysander||Noble Member||Laconophile||Active|
|Mr. Crane||Staff Member||Behavioural Studies||Active|
|Mr. E. Strata||Staff Member||Official Dishwasher||Active|
|Hrabenka Virstania||Noble Member||Resident Artiste||Active|
|Hunter Van Pelt||Staff Member||Gameskeeper||Active|
|Miss Giedi||Staff Member||Club Soda with Lime||Active|
|Miss Red||Staff Member||President's Personal Secretary||Active|
|-- RECORDS EXPUNGED --|
N.B. A Duke should properly be addressed as "His Grace, Duke of [X]" or verbally as "Your Grace". An Earl, or Marquess (Continental: Marquis) may be addressed as either as "Earl or Marquess [X]" or as per the lower peerages. A Count, Viscount, Baron, or Lord should be addressed as "Lord [X]" or verbally, "My Lord".
All staff should, while on duty, properly be addressed by their befitting title, although the Chauffeur is more informally known as "You, boy."
Out to Pasture
Alas, some of our members have shuffled off this mortal coil. Where to, nobody will admit to knowing, but their names are recorded herein.
|Name and Title||Membership||Position or Roster||Fate|
|Lord Curton||Charter Member||Proprietor||Inactive|
|Lord Thistlewick||Charter Member||Vice-President||Burned out|
|Earl Grey||Member||Refreshment||Went cold|
|Lord Scone||Member||Refreshment||Ran out of jam|
|Mr. Tolkien Black Man||Staff Member||Chauffeur||Convicted of DWB, got 15-20|
|Count Zaroff||Member||Preservation||Starved to death|
|Mr. Grimchie||Staff Member||Groundskeeper||Fertilising the lawns|
|Mr. Giovanni||Staff Member||Welcoming Committee||Cemented|
|Viscount Vois||Member||Newsletter||Locked out in the greenhouse|
|Baron Bloody||Noble Member||Decoration||Doused with stain remover|
|Mr. Behram||Staff Member||Tour Guide||Hanging out with the cool kids|
|Mr. Duvall||Staff Member||Overseer, Relations Publiques||Revolted|
|Ms. Julienn'd||Staff Member||Sous chef||Got the chop|
|A cute kitty||Staff Member||Kitty! \o/||Burlap sack|
|AnimeBot||Silicon Staff Member||Vending Machine/Jukebox||Virus = very yes|
|Royal Society of Malton|
|Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club is a member of the Royal Society of Malton, a coalition of groups and individuals who pride themselves on their intellect and strive to make the survivors within Malton more intelligent.|
|Fine Art of Malton Supporter|
|Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club supports the Fine Art of Malton movement & acknowledges that all museums are PK ceasefire zones, heal points, and are to be a barricading priority.|
|Gladiatorial Arena Policy Supporter|
|Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club supports the Gladiatorial Arena Policy & acknowledges that all stadiums in Malton are gladiatorial areas, in which the killing of another survivor is not a crime and therefore not punishable in any way.|
|Honor Among Thieves|
|Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.|
|No Rapport = No Report|
|Lord Curton's Gentlemen's Hunting Club will not glorify PKers who are too afraid to banter with their victims.|