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The MWG (Monkey Wrench Gang)

Hiya folks. Just a quick update on what the MWG has been up to during the past few months. Our agents have continued to monitor the suburb of Dakerstown (while barricading, reviving zombiefied citizens, & exterminating zombies in surrounding suburbs) & we have found that the usual state of affairs persists in Dakerstown: at any given time, up to 80% of the bldgs there have either low barricades or no barricades whatsoever. Various members of the IWM hiding in Dakerstown have been spotted (and verbally teased) by our agents, but no shots have been fired between the MWG & the IWM in a coon's age. Speaking of monitoring, the levels & experience points of most IWM members have not increased appreciably in quite a while, which leads us to believe that they (the IWM) are still doing what we accused them of doing MONTHS ago: basically sitting around with their thumbs up their backsides, giving each other awards for bravery, while letting Dakerstown fall into a rapid decline of zombie infestation and general malaise/ennui. The IWM appears, at this point, to be an organization (if you can even CALL it that) of goldbricks & malingerers; morally bankrupt, exhibiting low morale (along with little if any sense of humor), & infected with a drastically reduced fighting effectiveness. In short, the IWM no longer appears to be a credible threat to democracy in Dakerstown. Within 72 hours the MWG will come rolling into Dakerstown in our DayGlo-painted VW bugs packed full of C4, fulminate of mercury, and peanut butter ("GUNS & PEANUT BUTTER") with Marxist rhetoric & Sex Pistols songs blaring from the jerry-rigged Marshall amps we'll have brought along with us. EXCELSIOR!!!

George Hayduke, October 7th, 2006

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS: Radio Free Dakerstown is on the air at 26.97 MHz!!

Well, here's the story for anyone interested in hearing the truth. The IWM (Imperial War Machine) saw fit to start an Urban Dead Wiki listing for the Monkey Wrench Gang, on which they give out ersatz & spurious information about our organization. But here are the facts, which are real & 100% verifiable with a number of people not even remotely affliliated with the MWG.

1) The IWM has described us as "MalTel Impersonators". This is patently absurd. There are people between Dakerstown and Yagoton who can attest to the fact that the majority of us MWGers were all GENUINE MalTel employees until various members of the IWM started killing us off in Dakerstown ("GENUINE" meaning that we a) had "Malton Phone Company" in the "Group" listing of our respective profiles & b) we took care of phone mast buildings, WHICH IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO JOIN MALTEL: read the Malton Telephone Company Wiki listing & you will see that it's true). Up until about a month & a half ago (when the IWM started screwing things up in Dakerstown) we could all be found in various phone mast bldgs in the NW section of Malton, minding our own business, tending our respective generators. Chances are, if you were an habitue of the NW section of Malton, you probably SAW one or more of us in a phone mast bldg, or perhaps even talked to us for a while. We are a peaceable lot (until we start getting PKed, that is). Also, until about a month & a half ago, NONE of the current members of the MWG had EVER PKed another character, even in reprisal for having BEEN killed (well, Mishkin did, ONCE. But that was the result of a misunderstanding, and it took place well before the IWM came to Dakerstown & the incident in question had nothing to do with them).

2) The IWM has described us as "Terrorists". I'm not exactly sure what they mean by this (other than using some trigger-words, in order to instill fear). If by "terrorist" it means me (or a member of my team) having PKed another player in reprisal for that same character having PKed me (or a member of my team) for no discernable reason, then HELL YES I'm a "terrorist", and so are the rest of the MWG. But let me fill you in: various members of the IWM (specifically Duce Nauks, Dilly Stick Dave, Zombie SteveMan, Meat Patty Jones, and to a lesser extent LCpl Mendoza) have PKed so many innocent players in Dakerstown, it's insane (bordering on psychotic). The sheer fact that they (these same members of the IWM) deny their PKing (and have the audacity to accuse OTHERS of it) is laughable. Most of these IWMers have made so many players so angry with their rampant PKing, they usually can't stay alive in Dakerstown for more than a few hours at a time. Here's another interesting fact: THERE HAS BEEN NO MEMBER OF THE MWG KILLED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN A MEMBER OF THE IWM IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS. This should tell you something about our reputation with the Urban Dead players community. Everyone seems to like us, except for the IWM. I wonder why this is? (an addendum: while I'm thinking about it, I have personally witnessed every IWM member I just mentioned PK one or more players, but there is one IWM "higher up" who I've never seen or heard of PKing anyone, & in the interest of truth & honesty I feel like mentioning him. Gaius Smith. If he has PKed anyone, I'm not aware of it, & as far as I can recall, he has never PKed a member of the MWG. Good for him!)

3) The IWM is (ostensibly, according to it's own propaganda) a "security force" seeking to make Dakerstown "a safer place". But how have they gone about doing that? I mean, Dakerstown is like a ghost town. There are very few people left alive there. If you doubt this, go & check it out for yourself. Most of the buildings there stand either with doors wide open, or with loose barricades. Zombies are everywhere, indoors & outdoors. The buildings are COVERED with anti-IWM graffiti (which the IWM seems incapable of removing. This also begs the question: if the IWM is so popular in Dakerstown, why is there so much anti-IWM graffiti there?). The only centrally located hospital in Dakerstown sits with multiple ransacking zombies inside most of the time (and of course, the presence of zombies in the hospital prevents characters from repairing the damage, thus no FIRST AID KITS are available). I have personally witnessed high-ranking members of the IWM DESTROYING THE PHONE MAST BUILDING GENERATOR IN DAKERSTOWN (& they themselves have ADMITTED as much: see their own IWM Wiki entry for May 8th, where they admit to destroying the Buttle phone mast bldg generator!!!). Are THESE the kind of organizational skills the IWM espouses? Frankly, things are so bad in Dakerstown, it's pretty clear that the IWM is actually doing it on PURPOSE: the IWM is attempting to foment FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) & discontent in Dakerstown in order to justify their continued presence there as a "security force". This is the ONLY reason I can come up with for why they might want Dakerstown to be so...UNLIVEABLE. At any rate, the condition of Dakerstown speaks for itself. Again, if you doubt this description of things, GO SEE FOR YOURSELF JUST WHAT AN AWFUL AND CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT JOB THE IWM HAS DONE IN DAKERSTOWN.

4) I have twice (possibly three times now) altered the IWM's Wiki entry with the intention of a) letting people know the truth, and b) annoying the IWM. I would not have done this at ALL if the IWM's Wiki entry wasn't filled with lies about me personally and things generally, and if it bore at least a semblance of accuracy or truthfulness. It didn't, and still doesn't. Go check it out. Anyone with half a brain should readily be able to see that the IWM's Wiki is about 50% lies & 50% agitprop. They say one thing & do another. They give false or heavily slanted versions of actual events (for example: they PK a character in cold blood, then go on to tell how they "caught a terrorist, & after a fierce gunbattle executed him", then they give each other medals & clap each other on the back). It's actually rather sickenning. But this is how your typical griefer gets his jollies, & the IWM as a group are certainly GRIEFERS. But I digress. My original point was that I have (in the past) altered the IWM Wiki entry, in order to inject a bit of truthfulness into their self-congratulatory B.S. I'm finished with that, though. The IWM Wiki entry makes for humorous (if poorly written) disinformation, & I leave it to the readers to compare the IWM entries & the MWG entries, & decide for themselves which of the two has the ring of truth, honor, & justice...

5) It is my opinion that the IWM is probably actually only TWO (or possibly THREE) persons who are zerging. My suspicion is based on the fact that it has been my experience that there has never been any recorded instance of two IWMers shooting at and attempting to PK a MWGer in tandem (as a team, in other words) at the same time. Also, none of them (the IWM members) seem to "wake up" or become active in the game at the same time, but rather they "do their thing" in a sequential manner: one IWMer PKs someone, then shortly thereafter another IWMer PKs someone, etc etc. Whether I'm right or not, who can say? But it does seem curious...

6) The MWG as a group did not even EXIST until the IWM arrived in Dakerstown & started mucking things up. The MWG is a response to the ongoing TERRORISTIC practices of the IWM. The IWM's first actions in Dakerstown were Terrorist in nature: they admit to arriving in Dakerstown & issuing orders on their own authority, and the punishment for disobeying those orders was DEATH BY EXECUTION (i.e., being PKed by them). THEY ADMIT TO THIS IN THEIR VERY OWN WIKI ENTRY!!! See for yourself before they alter it!!! The MWG sees it's job as being twofold. First off, we feel that as long as the IWM has a stranglehold on Dakerstown, no Dakerstonian is safe. Therefore, it is our opinion that the IWM should be fought, tooth and nail, until they either choose to disband completely (the best choice), to head to a suburb other than Dakerstown (not as good a choice, but better than nothing), or (the best choice yet) to MEND THEIR WAYS FOR A PERIOD OF TIME LONG ENOUGH THAT WE (THE MWG) ARE RELATIVELY CERTAIN THAT THEY (THE IWM) ARE NOT MERELY "PLAYING POSSUM" BUT HAVE IN FACT HAD A GENUINE CHANGE OF HEART. Secondly, our job is to maintain the phone mast building of Dakerstown (the Buttle Building) along with the barricade integrity of St. Bartholomew's Hospital and also that of the Swearse Lane Police Department, all of which are within a couple of blocks of one another. We, the MWG, heartily wish that this latter job could be our primary, nay, our SOLE job, but unfortunately, while the evil shadow of the IWM looms large on the suburb of Dakerstown, we can only do so much. There have been days when our operatives have installed generators in the Buttle phone mast building THREE TIMES, only to have some member of the IWM either lower the barricades of the building each time, destroy the generator each time, or BOTH. We will CONTINUE to do what we can for Dakerstown, but, for the time being, it seems more prudent for us to respond with brute force: for NOW at least, the MWG must choose to DESTROY (the IWM) before we can CREATE. Or, to paraphrase, "we will not cease from mental fight, nor shall our swords sleep in our hands, till we have rebuilt Paradise in what was once Dakerstown's green and pleasant land (before the IWM fouled things up)"...

5/22/06: THE FOLLOWING IS CUT/PASTED FROM "TALK: MALTON TELEPHONE": this is a conversation thread begun by Duce Nauks, addressing a "higher up" with Malton Telephone. I provide it for the humor value mainly, but also as an example of Duce Nauks disinformation campaign against the MWG. Make of it what you will:

False Maltel Members

MANNIX and Karl Kolchak have been impersinating Maltel personal, going about PKing people in the North Western suburbs. I'm posting this to confirm that they aren't really Maltel. Is Maltel behind these Recent PKings?--Duce Nauks 01:09, 13 April 2006 (BST)

While not a manager I would like to take the time to assure you MalTel is not "behind" the activities you've noted. Its a pretty loose knit group but all of the members I've communicated with are seriously devoted to helping survivors rather than PKing. That said you may note the discrepancies between or numbers from the stats page and those listing themselves here. This is partially the result of our loose "Hiring Policy" but could easily be taken advantage of by the sort your seeing now. I hope you will not allow this to reflect on our devotion to service to the community. Please feel free to share any additional information you feel may also be of assistance to community at large here on our talk page. Thanks again, --Spraycan Willy MalTel 08:59, 13 April 2006 (BST)

Ok, thanks for helping us clear things up.--Duce Nauks 20:58, 13 April 2006 (BST)

We found out who began this insurgency. George Hayduke, started leading his men on a PKing spree in Dakerstown. After killing them all multiple times, we ran them out of Dakerstown. It seems that he also defected to another group since we crushed his insurgency. He apparently joined the "Monkey wrenchers" or something of that nature. This can be confirmed by reading his profile in your member listing. For not wanting another incident, The Imperial War Machine requests that you do not send another MalTel operative up here. Thank you. --Duce Nauks 16:10, 22 April 2006 (BST)

Duce, thanks for keeping us updated. Perhaps you or some member of the Imperial War Machine might be willing to help us keep abreast of the status up there by occasionaly updating the Mast Page. Thanks again --Spraycan Willy MalTel 08:47, 24 April 2006 (BST)

We just ask one simple thing, could you remove him from your roster? Or is that request too much?--Duce Nauks 20:07, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Duce, After reviewing his profile as well as information available online and here on the wiki I belive your request is appropriate. I will however be moving the information to a new section here on the talk page to keep from losing the data until it is fully sorted out. Thanks for your continued support. --Spraycan Willy MalTel 09:38, 26 April 2006 (BST)

Spraycan Willy: George Hayduke here. I can hardly believe you have taken me off the Malton Phone Company roster simply because of Duce Nauk's lies. I've been maintaining phone mast buildings between Dakerstown & Yagoton for MONTHS & MONTHS now. Duce Nauk's "Imperial War Machine" arrived in Dakerstown a couple of months ago & immediately began PKing indiscriminantly. I (and others) fought back, only to have the IWM label us as "terrorists" & "MalTel Impersonators". Now I discover that MalTel has bought into Duce Nauks' lies. This is simply stunning to me. Please check the Urban Dead Wike site "MWG" (NOT "Monkey Wrench Gang", since THAT is a false site Duce Nauks has manufactured) for the truth concerning the situation in Dakerstown. Frankly, I don't care if I'm added back on to the MalTel roster (since I'm doing the job of maintaining phone mast bldgs ANYWAY) but this partisanship on MalTel's part (favoring Duce Nauks' PKing & lies) is rather a shocker. Please respond after you have reviewed the FACTS (& not just the hearsay). Thanks, George Hayduke.

You accuse me of lying? You blatantly just did, ask any DEA person, the IWM has been in Dakerstown far before you have, almost eight months now. Your just pissed because you and your lackeys didn't think before you acted. And no, they didn't have MalTel badges on, and no I checked, they weren't MalTel Agents. And No, you haven't been maintaining the Phone mast.--Duce Nauks 17:12, 21 May 2006 (BST)

ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN IWM WIKI listing, Duce, if memory serves, you give the account of the IWM arriving in Dakerstown & attempting to "keep order" & then running into us "MalTel Imposters". Which means we were there FIRST, right? Use your brain. However, I'll concede that PERHAPS the IWM has been in Dakerstown for months, but you yourself admit that you recently "stepped up" your campaign there. WHICH WAS ABOUT (now) TWO MONTHS AGO, MAYBE 2 & 1/2 MONTHS AGO. This isn't the place for this argument, though, & i WASN'T EVEN TALKING TO YOU, I WAS TALKING TO SPRAYCAN WILLY. But since you've mentioned LYING, Duce, practically every other word out of your mouth is a lie. Tell you what: in the past you've given posted your usual lying versions of us (you & I) "meeting" for our little showdown in the junkyard east of Esgar a few weeks ago (which you never showed up for, even though YOU organized it), but I have a screenshot of the entire dialogue (which consists of me waiting for you for about TWENTY hours, & you finally mouthing off after I got tired of waiting & left). Shall I show it to everyone, & prove what a liar you are in your fictitious account of things? You are absurd, dude. & you need help with this constant lying. Seriously. George Hayduke

Obviously if you'd looked at the big button that read: ARCHIVE, then you'd see we've been there for some time. If I'm supposed to be a liar, then your just plain stupid. As for the meeting, Not only is that irrelevant, but I regret even trying to speak with someone so inept. At least I'm not trying to insult you and ridicule you on another groups page. That's just tasteless.--Duce Nauks 12:31, 22 May 2006 (BST)

Oh no, Duce, you've NEVER insulted or ridiculed ANYONE on another group's page, have you? (see below, everyone)

Duke Nauks Warned 00:36, 22 Jan 2006 (GMT)

More LIES from Duce Nauks, the King of Lies. George Hayduke

I fail to see the relevance between what I'm saying now, and my first day on the Wiki. Even so, I never said I didn't ridicule people. It clearly shows your ignorance by posting that, when you were warned, AND BANNED from the Wikipedia before. Though Likewise, I'm stating, that I made no attempt to insult, or ridicule you, and I hardly find such a discussion appropriate on another groups page. I apologise to MalTel, as what I posted obviously attracted this immaturity by other Wiki Members. For this I apologise.--Duce Nauks 19:26, 22 May 2006 (BST)

I don't Implore anyone to bother checking on either histories, as it is irrelevant.--Duce Nauks 19:26, 22 May 2006 (BST)

Duce, you say that you have "made no attempt to insult, or ridicule (me)" but you have made your OWN "Monkey Wrench Gang" Urban Dead wiki page, on which you do nothing BUT ridicule & insult me (& my group). And lie about us. Are you crazy? I'm being serious. If you are honestly saying that you don't "insult & ridicule" & LIE on almost every Wiki post you make (either on your ersatz "Monkey Wrench Gang" site, or your "Imperial War Machine" site), then I submit that you are either delusional, or psychotic, or just stupid. These aren't insults if they are the truth, & since practically everything that comes out of your mouth is either a lie or an falsification of an event, I have to wonder if you perhaps aren't playing with a full deck. I'm PROUD of what I altered your IWM wiki to say, since i was telling the TRUTH. & yes I was banned for it (for 24 hrs) & I will not do it again, no matter how many more lies you tell: I'm counting on people's common sense; that they (our readers) will be able to tell honesty (mine) from disinformation (yours). George Hayduke

PS: A question for Spraycan Willy. In Duce Nauks' initial post to you here, he asked you the following: "The Imperial War Machine requests that you do not send another MalTel operative up here". Does this not strike you as, well, rather ODD? That a group (the IWM) which is reportedly PKing players left and right, DOES NOT WANT MOBILE PHONE SERVICE IN THE SUBURB WHERE THE PKing IS TAKING PLACE? Am I the only person who sees a connection between the PKing going on in Dakerstown, and one group's request that MalTel stay out of Dakerstown (ostensibly a media blackout)? PLEASE think about this, and think about sending some MalTel personel up to Dakerstown to check things out for yourselves. Thanks Spraycan Willy! George Hayduke

Dakerstown has already gotten a replacement MalTel agent, who is welcomed as an ACTUAL MalTel agent. Naturally, the request is nullified. Once again, I fail to see the relevance in what you are trying to point out Hayduke. I suggest you just stop this, your embarrasing yourself. Every argument you make, I prove you wrong. And when I do, you try to throw something else, totally irrelivant into the disscussion, which I also disproove. You already stuck your own foot in your mouth THREE times. Do you want to make it four?--Duce Nauks 00:15, 23 May 2006 (BST)


I have a screenshot of the following, for whoever is interested. This happened earlier today.

You are inside the Buttle Building. The building has been very heavily barricaded. Also here is mishkin.

Somebody has spraypainted HELP FIGHT FASCISM IN DAKERSTOWN: FIGHT THE IWM!!! onto a wall.

Since your last turn:

  * Meat Patty Jones destroyed the generator. (05-22 20:12 BST

I've saved a screenshot of this, for anyone connected with MalTel who is interested. Meat Patty Jones is a high-ranking officer with the IWM. The IWM is actively seeking to keep phone communications down in Dakerstown in order to further their PKing agenda. What do you have to say to this, Duce? George Hayduke

I say to that, that he probably did it to piss your ass off. Your flipping out, losing your mind about it . . . it clearly worked. Thumbs up to him. Also, seeing as how you have no evidence provided, would like to see this "Screenshot". Also . . . He's not any type of high ranking officer. He just a combat medic. Simple as that. And a damn loyal friend too. Now let's see you make it five. When that happens, I'm gonna stick a link to this page, so everyone can laugh at you. That is of course, if MalTel doesn't mind.--Duce Nauks 02:10, 23 May 2006 (BST)

You have an answer for everything, don't you Duce? So, let's see. To "piss my ass off", your boy destroyed the phone mast bldg generator, and in the process temporarily cut off the mobile phone use of EVERYONE in the Dakerstown suburb that your organization, the IWM, is alledgedly protecting. You make absolutely NO SENSE WHATSOEVER, pal: you are clearly not in possession of all your faculties. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE A SCREENSHOT OF MEAT PATTY JONES DESTROYING THE DAKERSTOWN PHONE MAST BLDG GENERATOR EMAIL ME AT 00GEORGEHAYDUKE00@GMAIL.COM & I'll send you the file. Clearly, there is no way to reason with you Duce since you are incapable of telling the truth or accepting responsibility for your actions. You are a Griefer, pure & simple, and the IWM is an organization clearly intent on making Urban Dead unpleasant for as many people as possible so that makes the IWM an assembly of griefers. I'm through talking to you. George Hayduke

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS: Duce Nauks & the IWM have come out into the open with their attempted MEDIA BLACKOUT in Dakerstown. The following is a newly-posted & official bulletin from the Imperial War Machine wiki site:

"...It is now MANDATORY to Destroy any generator in the Buttle phone mast building. This is not meant to be against any person in Dakerstown. Simply, It pisses all the MWG terrorists off so much, that they go on a Rant and Rave, losing thier minds in self pity, at not being able to do the thing they set out to do. So everybody . . . Get blastin.--Duce Nauks 20:20, 23 May 2006 (BST)"

Wow. The fact that group leader Duce Nauks could be THIS short-sighted and foolish boggles the mind. My prediction is that he will reverse this order of his within 48 hours, because an astoundingly stupid command such as this will only make the IWM even MORE hated in Dakerstown than it already is. GOOD JOB, DUCE NAUKS & IWMers: you are just making the MWG's job all the more easy...DOWN WITH FASCISM!!! DOWN WITH THE IWM!!! --George Hayduke 22:51, 23 May 2006 (BST)

Well, I was off on my prediction (by six days), but look what DUCE NAUKS HIMSELF just posted on the IWM wiki:

"Also, the IWM is now helping to keep up generator status of the phone mast in Dakerstown. As it goes without saying, the order to destroy the generators, having been EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL, are now complete, and needn't be carried out further. Not only has the MWG failed, at keeping the generator up, but MalTel, requested WE aid in the upkeep of the generator (Ouch, DAMN! Talk about ironic. The MWG pretty much just got Assed in thier entire campain!). As newly appointed suburb managers, once our other duties are fulfilled, we'll try to keep the phones up for evertyone too".

Well, in case our readers can't make it through all of Duce's misspellings and his poor grammar/punctuation, Duce is INDEED reversing his order about destroying the Dakerstown generators, JUST as I said he would. & you know why Duce backed down? Because I sent MalTel a detailed account of Duce's recent generator-destroying shenannigans, & they (MalTel) stated that if he (Duce Nauks) doesn't clean up his act in Dakerstown "things will happen." OUCH INDEED! Quite a little spanking MalTel gave you there, Duce. I hope you didn't cry too much! Anyone who doubts this TRUE version of things, email me & I'll be more than happy to forward you a copy of the emails between myself & MalTel. Well, in the end all that matters to the MWG is that the phones are back working in Dakerstown, & that the IWM has indeed accepted responsibility for their misdeeds. Now we MWGers can get back to our main job: the liberating of Dakerstown from the IWM. --George Hayduke


--George Hayduke

Hey George, thanks for stopping back by the MalTel page to try and straighten things out. I'm sorry things turned toward a flame war there for a while. I made the decision to move your name to the newly constructed Former Members section after seeing your affiliation had changed in your profile. It was never my intention to offend. I can easily accept that you are still capable, and of the mind to, maintain phone masts while fostering a new group. Of course we will continue to send representatives into Darkerstown and all dark corners of the map. Good luck in your endeavors and, if you have a chance, update the mast page once in a while to keep us posted on how things are going. Add me to your conacts and I'll give you a call sometime. Good luck and most of all, ENJOY the game... --Spraycan Willy MalTel 07:50, 7 June 2006 (BST)

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