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Abbreviation: Mhal
Group Numbers: small, for now
Leadership: no leaders, just heralds
Goals: Rock-n-Roll all night, combat every day
Recruitment Policy: open

Malhalla is a group that promotes the idea that the city of Malton is, in fact, a modern version of Valhalla, the afterlife of Norse legend for warriors who died honorably in battle.

the Epiphany

"As I sit here in the Younghusband Arms, draining the last from the bottle of Chateau de Cochon I found behind the bar, I've been pondering the meaning of what's going on here in Malton. I have come to the conclusion that this isn't just a zombie outbreak as we've seen in the cinema so many times. In fact, I have begun to suspect we are caught up in some grand struggle among the Powers That Be. Let me elaborate...

First of all, no one seems to be able to leave Malton - the universe seems to end at the city limits. Nor are we able to establish any kind of communication with the outside world, even though we have functioning radios and cellular communications. We are totally cut off from the rest of the earth.

Secondly, everyone here is effectively immortal. Sure, we can fall in battle and rise as a zombie, but this is by no means a permanent transition, even for those in advanced decay. The proper application of Necrotechnology restores life and leaves the subject little worse for wear. And we don't even need to eat! The only sustenance around is beer and wine, which evidence suggests even has some healing properties.

Finally, the bulk of the survivors here are warriors of some sort - either soldiers, cops, or firemen. Those that aren't warriors at the outset (the doctors, scientists and run of the mill civilians) almost uniformly master the arts of war in fairly short order.

What does all this mean? I believe that all of us in Malton, and those who contnue to arrive daily, are the chosen of the Powers That Be, to prepare for a coming Apocalypse. We, the "survivors" of Malton, are in fact the souls of fallen heroes, come to Valhalla, to train for battle in these forsaken streets, to die, to rise, and to await the Call to Glory!

Call it Malhalla, perhaps..."

(Maghat's journal entry, dated Nov 12, 2006)

The Malhalla Philosophy

Those who embrace the path of Malhalla find that the day-to-day struggle for existence in Malton has a purpose. Whatever the current incarnation of Ragnarok (the end of the world according to Norse mythology) might be, we prepare to be the strongest warriors we can be to tip the cosmic scales from chaos to order. We do this by spending our days training in combat and combat support (healing and restoration of structure and life) and our evenings in the meadhalls (or in our case the clubs and pubs) celebrating and carousing. To this end, the followers of Malhalla support:

  • The acquisition of all survivor skills as quickly as possible;
  • The maintenance of barricades at optimum levels to provide shelter and allow optimal access to the tools of survival;
  • The establishment and maintenance of power to critical resource buildings and home bases;
  • The formation of home bases in Arms and Clubs throughout Malton;
  • Revivification points so that those who fall in battle can be revived and back in the bar by sundown.

Those who adopt the group "Malhalla" as their own are called Heralds, as they spread the idea of Malhalla to the other denizens of Malton.

Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wotters - heheheheheheheheh

Those followers of the Malhalla teachings who acheive mastery in all survivor skills earn the title Harrier, which is a modernization of Einherjar, the name of the warriors of Valhalla. Brian Mercat was the first to achieve this within the group, and is therefore known as the premier harrier.

Note also that the Malhalla philosophy takes a neutral view of the living fighting and killing the living. Certainly in the new Ragnarok, there will be more enemies to battle than simply zombies, so we should be prepared. We don't encourage "PKing", and in fact we do have bounty hunters among our ranks, but recognize that in a world where life and death are so easily interchangable, and in which spending time as the undead is actually an important part of training (see below), those who choose to fight against the living are not really hurting anyone. Anyone who attacks a member of the group is simply signalling their willingness to assist in our training, and we will accept their help.  ;-) On the other hand, we take a very dim view of those that would work against the establishment of barricades and power. GKers will be considered to be just below the zombies in the heirarchy of desirable combat training targets.

Concerning Zombies

In the epic poems of classical Norse mythology, it is described that among those fighting on the side of chaos are the dead that abide in the icy underworld realm of Niflheim. It makes sense that we would be training for such an event against the undead. Our combat efforts against the zombies here equip us with the skills to fight them when we are called upon to do so back in the mortal realm. But to truly understand our foe, and to overcome our fear of death, we must by necessity become zombies for some period of time. As we spend time in the undead state, we gain insight into the undead mind. So if one of us is defeated in combat and rise as zombies, know that this state, this taste of the side of chaos, is all a part of becoming a true warrior for the side of order, and allows others to receive their training as well...

The Malhalla Mystery Tour

To fully understand the zombie mind, we must step into the full abyss of undead decay, and return to life. To this end, those who seek full enlightenment must allow themselves to become zombies for such length of time as to achieve a degree of neural decay that does not allow for normal revivification, and then find a way to return to life. This is known as the Malhalla Mystery Tour, or perhaps the "Marharra Mazarah 'ar" for those undergoing it. Those who successfully complete this quest earn the title of Malkyrie, and will be the generals for the Harriers in the new Ragnarok.

So far Froggerknocker, Pastor Rob, Mister Sad and Maghat have achieved Malkyrie status.


The following people and groups are some of our brothers in arms:


Right now, with the group still young, we first just want to keep the Younghusband Arms secure as not only a functioning meadhall but as the portal to Pole Mall, and set up good working relations with the other survivor groups in West Grayside. In 2007 we'll be taking the act on the road, touring the burbs to set up auxilliary meadhalls throughout the city. In the meantime, if you're in the neighborhood, feel free to cop a squat, kick back with a flagon o' mead, and know that all the harsh living on the streets of Malton is serving a purpose!

New Year's 'Rokin' Eve

To kick off the new year, Malhalla and friends took a road trip to celebrate over at Club Wadman (aka the Wadman Stripperama) in the Gulsonside 'burb, just adjacent to Blesley Mall. We met some very cool folks over in Club Wadman, including the proprietor Cyphermoll, whose baby was delivered by Dr. Maghat on New Years Day! The Craske Building International Playboys stopped by for bartending duties, and some other Younghusband regulars popped by as well. Adding some drama to the festivities, however, was the presence of the Upper Left Corner folks right next door, with some of their more uptight members declaring a jihad on one of ours for daring to collect a bounty on one of them (perish the thought!) All in all, there was revelry and deviltry in abundance!

Groundhog Throwing Day

For Groundhog Day (Feb 2), Malhalla took another trip, this time to drink beer with Phil's Freaks at the Bainton Arms in Tapton. Beer was consumed and wee burrowing animals were tossed about. Feeling pretty good, Malhalla migrated north to Shearbank to assist in the defense of Stickling Mall against the Mall Tour '07 horde. With victory at the weekslong siege at Stickling ultimately going to the zombies, and several members of Malhalla in undead status themselves, we took advantage to get some experience on the dead side of life and had our own minisiege at Club Cummings in Shackleville, teaching the Malton Mob a little lesson in humility.

The great petering out

Currently the members of Malhalla have ascended to the great beyond. Only maghat maintains a tenacious grasp on this dimension, but is no longer working under the malhalla banner.

..and the repetering...

Malhalla is back! our numbers are small, yes, but once again we spread our message of survival and merriment.

..The next generation...

A number of the malkyries have ascended, but a new generation of Malhallans have emerged to spread the word. Keep an eye out for Creeping Weevil, Renegade Romero, Jethro Q. Walrustitty and Jacob Creutzfeldt.

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This user supports Rotter's Relief's efforts to return Brain-Rotted zombies to the land of the living.