Malton Neighborhood Watch

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Who are the Malton Neighborhood Watch?

You are the Malton Neighborhood Watch! As dutiful citizens of Malton, each one of us has an unspoken duty to uphold the law and ensure the safety of others!

You can be seventeen or seventy, it makes no difference. Anyone can be a Malton Neighborhood Watch volunteer!

What are the duties of a Malton Neighborhood Watch volunteer?

That's simple! Why are you even asking? What are you, some sort of mental defective? Every Malton Neighborhood Watch Volunteer is expected to do the following.

  1. Watch.
  2. Watch others.
  3. Watch others watching you.
  4. Watch others watching you watch them.
  5. Watch others watching you watch them watching you.
  6. Watch others watching you watch them watching you watch them.
  7. Keep a mirror on hand and watch yourself.
    (You never know when you might be up to no good!)
  8. Ensure neighborhood peace and safety.
  9. Report open manholes.
  10. Report open womanholes.
    (Directly to Watch Commander Amazing.)
  11. Report suspicious activity and do not pursue.
    (Unless you're out of ammo or can't hit the target from current position.)

How do I show my support!?!

Want the unearned sense of honor and authority associated with being a Neighborhood Watch member? Simply place this template on any given wiki page:

Mnweye.gif Malton Neighborhood Watch
This group or user supports the
Malton Neighborhood Watch.

Code: {{:Malton Neighborhood Watch/MNW}}

Make your own "Malton Neighborhood Watch's Most Wanted" template for your page as such:

Mnweye.gif Malton's Most Wanted!
The user below is currently #1 on Malton's Most Wanted list, and should be terminated on sight without mercy.
Bub - Zombie Player

Started the zombie apocalypse and almost immediately stopped caring about it.

For these crimes, the penalty is Repeated Dutch Ovens from a series of fatter and fatter long-haul truckers.

Last seen in Malton.

Code:

{{:Malton Neighborhood Watch/MMW|
wanted_ranking=1 through 10|
profile_number=Insert Number|
character_name=Insert Name|
character_type=One of the following: Survivor, Zombie, Both|
crime=Briefly describe criminal behavior.|
penalty=Choose your target's torment.|
suburb=Where they were spotted.}}

Who do I thank for this wonderful service? Why, I don't know how I ever lived without the Malton Neighborhood Watch and its fantastic services!

What the fuck are you talking about? ...

Anyway, the Malton Neighborhood Watch has been brought to you by McZeds, in affiliation with Ultradigitial Splendocorp and the letter "V".

This is some old stuff: CRAP.

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