Malton Power & Light
Malton Power & Light
THE POWER BEHIND MALTON
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Frequency: 28.46 MHz
In September 2006, following financial difficulties due to the outbreak of necrotizing fascitis in Malton, Malton Power & Light was forced to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy and sell off its assets. Corpucopia Ltd has recently acquired MP&L, and we are proud to announce our commitment to restoring service to Malton.
MP&L's will provide value to shareholders via:
- Restoring normal billing for Malton customers
- Collecting delinquent accounts
- Implementing an Oracle-based trouble ticket system for tracking customer issues
- Providing "Before You Dig" information (see below)
- Restoring power
Before You Dig
If you're planning on landscaping, constructing an underground shelter, or digging a mass grave, remember - utility lines may be buried a few feet below the surface. Digging into electrical cables is the third leading cause of death in Malton*, surpassed only by contagious necrotizing fascitis and homicide. Don't be "shocked" by what you find! Contact our customer service representatives at email@example.com and one of our service engineers will determine whether it's safe for your project to proceed. Please include GPS coordinates and allow three to five business days for us to complete the inspection.
MP&L has many opportunities for service engineers, accounting specialists, and call center staff. Please send your resume to firstname.lastname@example.org. PDF format is no longer required.
Update billing information. Good communication skills a must. Hand-to-hand combat skills preferred.
Because of the difficulty of accessing many Malton buildings, we recommend that applicants provide their own crowbar. Applicants with building access skills are preferred.
MP&L service engineers have been authorized to requisition generators and fuel cans found in buildings. It is recommended that engineers carry a weapon as well, as buildings may contain armed looters.
Tier 2 service engineers are required to have advanced customer service training.
The MP&L Call Center is an Equal Opportunity Employer. All scripts for our Tier 1 support have been carefully designed to permit operators to answer all caller questions with "Brnhr," "Graagh," or "Grh."
Memo to all MP&L technicians
We are proud to announce a strategic partnership with Genny's Revenge, who are security experts specializing in managing sabotage of the city's electrical infrastructure. If you witness such activity, please take a screenshot and fill out the proper paperwork on their page.
We at MP&L look forward to a long and fruitful business relationship with Genny's Revenge!