Malton Power & Light

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Malton Power and Light
Reddy Kilowatt says "Remember, contact Malton Power & Light before you dig!"
Abbreviation: MP&L
Group Numbers: 150,003 (includes many satisfied shareholders)
Leadership: Carl McFarland, CEO
Goals: To provide value to shareholders
Recruitment Policy: See Careers, below
Contact: maltonpowerandlight@gmail.com

Malton Power & Light

THE POWER BEHIND MALTON

know what you are talking about Short-wave Radio Info
This group or location has a dedicated radio frequency.

Frequency: 28.46 MHz
Transmitter Coordinates: Where ever Powered Transmitters Are Available


In September 2006, following financial difficulties due to the outbreak of necrotizing fascitis in Malton, Malton Power & Light was forced to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy and sell off its assets. Corpucopia Ltd has recently acquired MP&L, and we are proud to announce our commitment to restoring service to Malton.

Mission Statement

MP&L's will provide value to shareholders via:

  1. Restoring normal billing for Malton customers
  2. Collecting delinquent accounts
  3. Implementing an Oracle-based trouble ticket system for tracking customer issues
  4. Providing "Before You Dig" information (see below)
  5. Restoring power

Before You Dig

If you're planning on landscaping, constructing an underground shelter, or digging a mass grave, remember - utility lines may be buried a few feet below the surface. Digging into electrical cables is the third leading cause of death in Malton*, surpassed only by contagious necrotizing fascitis and homicide. Don't be "shocked" by what you find! Contact our customer service representatives at maltonpowerandlight@gmail.com and one of our service engineers will determine whether it's safe for your project to proceed. Please include GPS coordinates and allow three to five business days for us to complete the inspection.

*Estimated

Careers

MP&L has many opportunities for service engineers, accounting specialists, and call center staff. Please send your resume to maltonpowerandlight@gmail.com. PDF format is no longer required.

Accounting Specialists

Update billing information. Good communication skills a must. Hand-to-hand combat skills preferred.

Service Engineers

Because of the difficulty of accessing many Malton buildings, we recommend that applicants provide their own crowbar. Applicants with building access skills are preferred.

MP&L service engineers have been authorized to requisition generators and fuel cans found in buildings. It is recommended that engineers carry a weapon as well, as buildings may contain armed looters.

Tier 2 service engineers are required to have advanced customer service training.

Call Center

The MP&L Call Center is an Equal Opportunity Employer. All scripts for our Tier 1 support have been carefully designed to permit operators to answer all caller questions with "Brnhr," "Graagh," or "Grh."

Memo to all MP&L technicians

We are proud to announce a strategic partnership with Genny's Revenge, who are security experts specializing in managing sabotage of the city's electrical infrastructure. If you witness such activity, please take a screenshot and fill out the proper paperwork on their page.

We at MP&L look forward to a long and fruitful business relationship with Genny's Revenge!

See Also