Maltonian Inquisition, The

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The Maltonian Inquisition
Abbreviation: MI
Group Numbers: A Chosen Few
Leadership: The Pope
Goals: Spread Surprise and Fear, with nice red uniforms
Recruitment Policy: We don't.
Contact: Find a member in-game if you want us THAT badly.


"NOBODY expects The Maltonian Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise; surprise and fear--fear and surprise! Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three main weapons--we'll come in again..."


The Maltonian Inquisition are a player-killer group comprised of veteran zombie players' alternative human characters. There's a wealth of experience running throughout the group, but, for many members, joining The Maltonian Inquisition was their first foray into PK'ing within Urban Dead. Now, with the bodies of hundreds of heretics strewn in their wake, the MI operatives are VERY good at what they do.


The founding members of the Maltonian Inquisition, present at the first ever strike, were Cardinals Bait, Jennings, Wcil, Feared, Jackson, and Nachos.

Active Members

  • Cardinal Bait - Nice Red Uniform & Soft Cushion Embroiderer
  • Cardinal Fisu - Esteemed Leader & Sunday School Presenter (not a PK'er!)
  • Cardinal Ingham - Minister of Misinformation
  • Cardinal Jackson - "Trouble at t' Mill" Monitor
  • Cardinal Nachos - Notoriety Manager
  • Cardinal Pierce - Happiness Officer
  • Cardinal Ruin - Scythe of Justice
  • Cardinal Tsarevich - Fresh Meat Inspector
  • Cardinal Wcil - Malton DEA's Religious Operative

Retired Members

  • Cardinal Biscuits
  • Cardinal Change
  • Cardinal Feared
  • Cardinal Jennings
  • Cardinal Stuge

Kill Count

The following is a tally of heretics purged in official Inquisition operations. Operatives have been known to enforce the Pope's will outside of major strikes, so this number does not reflect total casualties.



Cardinals of the Inquisition must be highly skilled in both heretic chasing and the performing arts, as the Pope's directives extend beyond holy wrack and ruin. Inquisitors may also be ordered to put on live performances for His benefit. Also, they occasionally hold educational shows for children:

Ackland Mall Puppet Show

In a daring operation, the Inquisitors seized a populated Hospital in Shearbank, purged its inhabitatnts, then cunningly converted it into a Piñata while they were still alive inside. This work in progress is shown here. The result was the first known 'living Pinata'.

Activity to January, 2007

Archived reports of Inquisition strikes can be found at the Maltonian Inquisition Past Activity page.

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