McTier Grove

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McTier Grove

Foulkes Village [1, 86]

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Basic Info:

  • A Street is a city block containing no buildings or monuments. There are a variety of other names besides Street including Alley, Avenue, Boulevard, Drive, Grove, Lane, Row, Square, Walk, Place, etc.
  • This is an empty block, and cannot be barricaded.

McTier Grove


The scene of McTier's last match.

A quiet residential area, with a meandering path and expanses of greenery, centring on the historic burial place of folk hero McTier.


McTier slays the Hound of the Osmondvilles

The story of McTier is half-legend, half-historic fact, half TV series outline. Son of the wolf-man Wulfram and seal-woman Aethelburga, McTier spent his childhood days exploring nearby brooks, cwms and caves, and feeling confused about his identity. Teased by other heroes' kids about his hairy back and fishy smell, he was a loner, but loved the company of animals, and learnt their languages.

As a youth, McTier left home to find his fortune. Having heard from a stray cat that a ferocious Hound was terrorising Osmondville, McTier (which means 'son of animal' in Teuto-Celtic) headed east to track down this quarrelsome quadruped. Following the howls and foul-smelling spoor of the dread Hound, McTier traced it to its lair.

In a fearsome three-day battle, McTier first threw his mighty ash spear at it, but the Bloodhound merely caught the spear like a stick and returned it, repeatedly; when this got too annoying, McTier attempted to kill the beast with his sword, only to find its pelt impervious to the blade; he then wrestled it to the ground, and found its critical weakness: its soft underbelly was ticklish. Tickling the Death-Dog into a stupor, McTier then tweaked its ears to make it look silly, stuck its tail up its ass, had a nearby painter record the scene for posterity, and then hacked off its head with a vorpal sword, as used on the Jabberwocky [1], which he borrowed from a passing frabjous boy.

On his return home in triumph, McTier and his new friends among the Villagers celebrated by playing fogbit with the Hound's head. Unfortunately, with the match tied at 456 wickets, 12 goals apiece and only one try needed to win, McTier headed the ball into his own wicket where it hit the bar and was caught on the rebound by the opposing scrum-half. Once again the subject of merciless mockery by his childhood tormentors, McTier silenced them when he chose to cut out his own bladder and carry it across the boundary in order to save the match, at the expense of his own life.

McTier's remarkable slaughtering and sporting feats are commemorated in the frieze which runs across the base of his white burial monument, located by the McTier Grove pathway. To this day, dogs appear to take unusual pleasure in urinating on the monument.

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