Minions of the Apocalypse/Archive 3

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This is one of the MotA Archive Pages for all the attack descriptions of previous months.

Archive 1 (2005-2006), Archive 2 (2006-2007), Archive 3 (2007-2008).

Liber Mortis (Book of the Dead Part 3)


Marven Mall Destroyed

  • Its now the middle of February, and many Minions have fought off the bitter cold by filling their stomachs with warm brains. Early in the month, we left Gulsonside under a hail of gunfire, but not without leaving our mark. We took out several important resource buildings, despite being the only zombies in the suburb. It was a blast from the past, reminding us of the early days of the raging infection, when humans were still in control and few of them had reached the higher existance known as undeath. But these humans aren't ignorant of the zombie cause, they choose such a life style! Such things I will never comprehend.
  • A long march brought us to South Blytheville where we joined a siege with other zombie groups on Marven Mall. The Whiskey Company spraypainted some messages professing their love for our horde leader, and later they threw some passing shots at us. Whether as a greeting or as an attempt to engage in battle is uncertain. Regardless, the mall itself didn't have long to stand. After a joint attack, we broke off into two strike teams, one taking out the outlying resource and Necrotech facilities and the other keeping pressure up on the mall. Once inside, we gave the humans chances to surrender peacefully, for example one Minion, the infamous Uggles, declared:
Harmanz! Nah harmz zambahz annamahrh! B ah zambah anh harm harmanz ahmang azzarh zambahz! Harmanz nah ganna B zambahz? Zahn grab mah hangan zambah bag anh gag ahn mah b!g zambah banana! Harh Harh Harh! M!N!ANZ!
  • On the 15th it was all over; humans scattered to whatever barricaded building they could find. , and those too weak to follow were divided quickly among the horde in a chorus of cracking bone and bellowing howls. Afterwards the floor was slick with blood, and much hilarity ensued with left over human parts.

Assault on North Blythville

  • With the Marven Mall and the surrounding South Blythville in ruins, our hungry horde made a push north. Marching straight to the Hebditch Necrotech Building, the center of human disease in the area, the Minions combined with the zombie horde Lebende Tote. The heart of North Blythville was torn out, stomped on the curb, and its scraps fought over by too many hungry zombies. The next morning we proceeded to level the rest of the suburb...inspiring fear and hopelessness in the minds of survivors. Check out their personal accounts in the Recent news section of the North Blythville wiki page.
  • We are now in the last days of February and the MotA are getting hungry. Our alliance with Lebende Tote has left North Blythville decimated and devoid of food. We'll be moving on soon, or starve to death.

Tompson Mall Falls Quickly

  • With North Blythville destroyed and lacking food, the MotA turned back around to slowly move toward Tompson Mall in Lockettside, where we had heard the RRF were getting ready to siege. We took our time, breaking in safehouses along the borders of South Blythville and Wykewood and eating the sweet brains inside, taking out some attempts to rebuild after we came through during the Marven Mall assault only a few weeks before.
  • Once in Lockettside, the Minions met back up with the Lebende Tote and starting kicking down various resource buildings surrounding the mall that were already severely weakened. That same night we breached the Mall and killed several humans. By the next morning, March 1st, the SW corner was ransacked making the end of the Mall inevitable. The MotA spent the entire day gorging on the bodies of the several hundred humans still left behind, alongside other great zombies from the RRF, Lebende Tote, along with several ferocious ferals. By early that same night, the Mall was destroyed, the bodies of our horde were saturatated, tacky with gore. Despite the gorging, we still had the energy to take out a hospital to the south that same night. The sight of our blood drenched corpses breaking through their barricades was the last thing those breathers saw. For now we are satisfied, but the hunger will come again, and we can smell humans fat with luxury living far away in other suburbs of Malton...Brraaaaaiins!

The War Machine Churns On

  • As March wore through, and after destroying the rest of Lockettside, the Minions rampaged across Spicer Hills, Dartside, and Kinch Heights. In each of these suburbs, there were so many masses of zombie outlaws that the horde was chiefly concerned with staying ahead of the wave to get their hold on any brains at all! But we had plenty of good eats. Fisty Jones received a celebration party, and the horde brought down 6 harmans to 1hp each, allowing him to come in and finish them off. Zombies are not without feelings or rituals.
  • On March 9, we crossed the border to West Grayside, a then green suburb fully lit, barricaded, and dangerously overpopulated with humans. Our previous blitzkrieg through all but abandoned suburbs ground down to a slow and bloody churning, as the war machine known as the Minions of the Apocalypse slowly ground bone and flesh through its gears. In the middle of the carnage, we raised raised our gorey hands from the feast in a cheer, as MotA won "Malton's Deadliest Small Horde" in the first annual Brainies and receiving a shiny golden brain. It's the coordinated effort of all our active members that keeps this relatively small horde able to cause so much death and destruction, and we'll continue to fight on to end the human occupation of Malton, one safehouse at a time.

Return to Castle Gulsonside

  • West Grayside took our fury and beat us down with their sheer numbers. As more and more zombie groups left the area, the Minions where one of the last to give up hope on rallying zombies to destroy the Pole Mall. Unfortunately, outnumbered 40 to 1, it was beyond our reach. But during our long stay in West Grayside we killed alot of humans. But eventually we had to move on to meals more our size.
  • After tearing through Wray Heights and destroying its Necrotech buildings in the process, the Minions officially returned to their beloved Gulsonside on March 30th, clearing St. Lazarus's Church of the blasphemus false idols they erected. Long live zambah g-zaz, and may he shine up to us as we clear Gulsonside of its breathing infidels!

April Showers of Brains Bring May...Braaaaiiiins...

  • What? Oh right its the middle of April, and the humans have come out of their holes for fun and sun...but as we saw when the first human popped out in February and saw the shadow of the zombie that feasted on his brains, the Apocalypse will continue. And so it does. Gulsonside was involved in an epic struggle with MotA, they shot us in the head alot, we ate brains...and for awhile we were getting the worst of it. But then the Mall Tour 07 came through and kicked Blesley Mall right in the chest, and turned the tables for the Minions against a stunned Gulsonside. We have been devouring the safehouses of humans left and right, clearing sometimes 2 or 3 full buildings a day. Lately we've been focusing on those pesky but entertaining members of The Whiskey Company, who hate the MotA so much they have player-killed their fellow humans in safehouses we have broken into just to deny us the food!
  • We softened up Gulsonside before the Mall Tour, and now we're ready to give it the knockout blow to the skull, from the crack of which will flow brains, which of course we will eat.

Blesley Mall Kicked Hard While Down (4/25/07)

  • Like any Mall after getting pushed over by a mall tour, Blesley Mall picked itself back up and began to dust itself off. Mall Tour 07 moved on. So thats the end of the story for old Gulsonside, right? Not quite. In late April, MotA decimated the SW corner of Gulsonside, the last of any active resistance, as well as strongholds in neighboring districts. Then, doubling back in a surprise move, we RE-SIEGED Blesley Mall. Well, it wasn't really a siege. In one day we tore off the barricades and slaughtered about half of the 60 or so inhabitants, while the others fled in terror. The harmanz we killed should find it easy to accept the peaceful nirvana that is undeath, as MotA earlier ransacked all Necrotechs in the area. Thus completes the prophecy. Is there a barricaded building left in Gulsonside? We'll stick around for awhile to find out.

Farewell Gulsonside, We Shall Return (5/9/07)

  • For those of you keeping score, the last time the Minions left Gulsonside it was under a hail of gunfire. Well this time we stuck around longer, and after our own personal re-decimation of Blesley Mall, we patrolled Gulsonside for about a week at the end of April, tearing into any barricaded building we could find. Often we could only come across one or two scared and wounded humans, the acceptance of death already glimmering in their eyes. Humans tried to move into the Mall again through Club Wadman, but were torn through easily. More and more barricaded buildings were turning up nothing.
  • Bored and jaded, the Minions wondered where the action was. Sure we liked to make fun of Gulsonside in the past as a fat and lazy human infestation..but there was always at least the Whiskey Company and other groups to try and keep things interesting. Now we scoured all these groups favorite places and couldn't even find anyone to even talk to, let alone EAT. This time we left Gulsonside alongside a few tumbleweeds, and the peaceful sounds of rats chewing on the decaying remains of a once populated suburb.
  • But now we're in some adjacent burbs, and the whizzing of hot lead near our faces brings a decaying grin to our faces. Humans. We often give them hell, but we can't live without them. Here's to your brains humans, and all the joys they bring us, on all levels, from the amusing anecdote about how you will destroy us, to the supple and warm feast it provides afterwards. M!N!ANZ!

End of the Santlerville Siege (5/31/07)

  • In May, the Minions answered a call for zombie groups to unite in sieging Santlerville. It soon became clear that the humans sent out a call for reinforcements as well. After bitter fighting on both sides, the united zombie front called off the attack. The human organization(!) and numbers were just too great. Despite killing countless humans, more would just pop up like some grotesque virus. Thus, the Minions of the Apocalypse have moved on, to find places where humans will embrace undeath when they are killed. Until next time, vile humans! You win this round, but the Apocalypse will come, no matter how many syringes you manufacture.

Brains Abound, Minions ravage suburb, and take a tour through Gulsonside (7/10/07)

  • Whew, been awhile since I've updated this. I'll try to be brief: MotA toured a few suburbs with mixed success...some we left decimated, others would rebarricade and repopulate as soon as we left a building.
  • The real fun began when we came back to Gulsonside, and decimated the local necrotechs within a few days. Then, with the help of the Hambargar Halparz, we succeeded in destroying Blesley Mall. Since its original fall at the end of June, we've been eating out in Osmondville and have returned twice to bury Blesley Mall and any survivors trying to rebuild it. They really need to organize themselves if this is going to be any challenge at all. I mean, its like eating brains right off the street. Humans, what happened to your legs? Your arms? You're supposed to be using those to protect your precious brains. If we don't get exercise exhuming your brains, the Minions could grow so fat and lazy we might even just hole up in the local mall, and let humans come to us.

Minions take home gold and bronze medals in the Malton Special Olympics (8/09/07)

  • Recently, Mayor of Malton Murray Jay Suskind announced a zombie Special Olympics of Malton where zombie groups competed for kills and ransacks around Malton. Normally our group focuses on clearing buildings and leaving wounded humans out on the street to feed the younger zombies in Malton, but during the past month saw us doing a lot of killing. Which resulted in our winning the Gold Medal for Horde Efficiency (Most kills and ransacks per member) and the Bronze Medal for Overall Horde. No one can organize and decimate human populations better than the Minions of the Apocalypse!
  • Now in August, the Minions are taking it easy and leisurely eating some brains, using more taunts and groans and other fun things that an olympic competition made us hold back on. That includes new "Mega Death Rattles" that Strike Boy and other members have been working on. One example: I'll try to dig up some others of this historic moment of zombie evolution.

Humans putting up a fight in Gulsonside (9/27/07)

  • This year, the Minions have spending a lot of time near their ancestoral homeland of Gulsonside. With the new ruin ability to further decimate buildings, we decided to return once more to try and crush Gulsonside to all new lows. The elitism of humans and their barricades that divide us all must not stand! Only a suburb without fences and borders can be truly free.
  • With this goal in mind, MotA is keeping track of our progress through a Ruination Map that tracks the buildings we have taken down so far. However the humans are much better organized than they were during our last tour, and are actually fighting back. Many buildings on the map are back in human hands, but we will continue to fight against this injustice.

Rumbling with the Big Bash 2 (10/5/07)

Brainz.gif The Second Big Bash!
This User or Group is a member of The Second Big Bash, and will be coming to your neighborhood soon! Please have lots of fresh brains ready when they arrive with all their friends.
  • LUE came through Gulsonside, turning the tide very obviously in our favor. The MotA joined in the ravishing and gorging of Blesley Mall, and proceeded to complete the ruination of Gulsonside ahead of scheduled. Big Bash 2 called, and the Minions answered "Brains?". Nyark and a handful of others stayed behind to complete the ruination of Gulsonside, and off we marched.
  • Joining up with our undead zethren, the Minions are part of the Big Bash 2. Please welcome us with open arms, as we open your skulls.

MotA Continues Big Bashing, despite forum problems (11/15/07)

  • The Big Bash has been great fun, but MotA has been at their most disorganized state in their history due to problems with their forum being down. As of this writing, we are officially moving over to

MotA reorganizes, continues vanguarding for Big Bash 2 (12/22/07)

  • After a confusing few weeks with the crashing of our old forum, we have now established a new home over at

forumsland. We're still maintaining a presence on to coordinate with other hordes and mega-horde events like the Big Bash 2.

  • And speaking of Big Bash 2, its rolling along great. Fort Perryn was recently destroyed, malls have been falling in record time, brains have been consumed. Coming soon to a suburb near you.

Epic, Weeks Long Battle at Giddings Mall (1/17/08)

  • Big Bash 2 has run into epic human defenses at Giddings Mall and the MotA is helping it out as well as it can. This is the best we've ever seen humans put up a fight so we have to tip our skulls to them. The fight is far from over though, the Minions have been through countless sieges in the past and do not tire easily.

Field Trip (3/6/08)

  • Big Bash 2 of course eventually crushed Giddings, and is currently destroying about a suburb a day. We're going to take a break from them for a couple weeks to visit some friends of ours, the Feral Undead and see if we can help them bash in some heads. We'll return to the Big Bash 2 once said heads are smashed and the creamy centers devoured, or if the Bash slows down and needs help.