Pumpkin Pedophiles/History

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The Pumpkin Pedophiles were formed during the first outbreaks of Malton. Neo Nazi was lurking about the cruel streets of horror, killing zombies as they popped out of manholes and dark alleys. He faced a lot of hostility from people who did not seem to like his name. Cursed he was from birth, it appears to be. He sought refuge in the Korova Milk Bar, where he met a candid lad by the name of Lezick. The two drank Jägerbombs all night, hearing the thuds from the zombies' dangling arms from the outside.

The Grand Awakening

So, it came to the marvelous minds of Neo Nazi and Lezick that the most vile thing that they both have encountered was the abandonment of children in libraries, schools, etc. This could not be forgotten from their medullae oblongatae. They were disgusted by the actions of the parents who were more interested in saving themselves than their own children. It was this that awakened the Pumpkin Pedophiles and alerted them that something had to be done. From then on, the Pumpkin Pedophiles deployed philanthropic men to satiate all the children of Malton and to avenge the traumatized children, by killing their parents indiscriminately. It might sound ruthless, but the Pumpkin Pedophiles believe that our posterity is of the utmost importance.

Actions Taken

The Pumpkin Pedophiles started by joining the sieges of Caiger Mall, where pitiful, deadbeat parents were munching in food courts and reading their filthy newspapers. Then, the Pumpkin Pedophiles went on to killing extreme amounts of pitiful parents in Calvert Mall in Quarlesbank. They're currently in the processs of annihilating military personnel in Fort Creedy because they take pride in hiding behind big walls while their children are starving and becoming infected by treacherous zombies. On a side mission, they are seeking justice in Giddings Mall for alleged child abuse. For fun, they've joined the Silent Night Slaughter and served justice to apathetic soldiers. Recently, they annihilated all of CRASH for denying the children of Malton sausages, and rotting their teeth away with soda.

Trademarked Moves

The Pumpkin Pedophiles are known to dabble in the arcane wonders of the world. And so, through their divine superiority, they create their own words which can only be understood by themselves. Linguistics is not the only area that the Pumpkin Pedophiles are known to be enlightened with. Their musical tastes surpass the average, simplistic music of the masses. Chances are the Pumpkin Pedophiles are in your area when you see:

  • Propz, prz, lolthup, lolsup, rurthup, def, y u do dat
  • Make me, ain't ma fault, proof?, foorp?, dop dat
  • No problem, what is ham?, get laid, verd
  • Lyrics of "If You Wanna Be Happy" by Jimmy Soul, Little Girls by Oingo Boingo, and the chorus tunes of Beethoven's 9th Symphony - 2nd Movement
    • It is known that these songs are broadcasted over radio stations until the parents repeat them as a mantra

Nobrain.png Ban Stupidity
This user or group does not tolerate stupid people.

This user or group is associated with The PKer Alliance

Gladiatorial Arena.jpg Gladiatorial Arena Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Gladiatorial Arena Policy & acknowledges that all stadiums in Malton are gladiatorial areas, in which the killing of another survivor is not a crime and therefore not punishable in any way.

Hat.jpg Honor Among Thieves
This user or group supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.

151 Silent Night Slaughter
Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho! This user or group caroled and celebrated with the residents of Fort Creedy on Christmas Eve in December 2007!!!

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