Second Battle of Blackmore

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The Second Battle of Blackmore was an event precipitated by the 5th of November survivor incursion into Ridleybank. Multiple survivor groups lead by the Channel 4 News Team, the Malton Rangers and the PTT squared off the zombie forces lead by the Ridleybank Resistance Front and many supporting hordes. Below is a factual and historical account of the battle as found in the archives of the Malton Herald & Sun.

Account of Battle

Opening Phases

  • Harman insurgents attacked bases and zombese offices in Ridleybank, in central Malton, and then dispersed throughout the city, reports say.
  • Heavily-armed insurgents fired shotguns, pistols and distress flares from the buildings and then briefly occupied several main buildings, residents told the Malton Herald and Sun. Ridleybank has been a zambah stronghold since the early outbreaks.
  • AU10 spokeswoman Strike Commander Elizabeth Vignelli told the Malton Sun & Herald that the militants had simply fired a hand held distress flare at a joint RRF/Feral Undead observation post at 0930 (0630 GMT). "As of 1400 (1100 GMT), there were no signs of any significant insurgent activity anywhere in the city. The surrounding buildings have been barricaded and the harmanz are free running back to their one defensive structure." SC Vignelli accused the militants of exaggerating the scale of the attack. "They're claiming that they have liberated Ridleybank! They're all holed up in one Necrotech facility! This is clearly a sign of how desperate insurgents have become."
  • With the sound of feeding groans echoing around the suburb, coupled with the sounds of small arms fire, the skirmishes appear to be dying down. "You only have to look at the sheer number of Comrades policing the streets to see how far their 'liberation' has actually got."

Charge of the Lightweight Brigade

The moment that 0:00 GMT, November 5th rolled around, the Malton Rangers and the Channel Four News Team made a concerted effort to charge into the Blackmore Building and retake it. However, Auxunit 10 Commander Elizabeth Vignelli (after being taunted by charge organizer Dickhole Guy), lead her charges to hold steady. Armed with nothing but ?rises, Auxunit 10 easily weathered the assault upon Blackmore and the building held past the 5th of November before falling to the hundreds of harmanz who had entered Ridleybank.

"Total" Survivor "Victory"

Recently, harmanz have again taken hold of the purely symbolic stronghold of the Blackmore Building. Blackmore fell on November 6, 2006, one day later than the claimed survivor "liberation" of Ridleybank.

"Truly all of Ridleybank is now liberated, right on time, too," commented one survivor. "This one building, and it is a fine building at that, encompasses the entirety of Ridleybank. The entire suburb is now liberated!"

We always thought that harmanz were supposed to able to read...

In fact, the stated goal of the 5th of November "liberation" is, according to Codename V: "The 5th day of the Holy Roman month of April, I decree that in seven months time we converge on Ridleybank, our true home, and we take back what we have lost."

With the harman occupation of the Blackmore Building, now all of Ridleybank has been symbolically occupied by harmanz who would take the rest of Ridleybank, if, well, they were able to.

"Sure the Zombies are constantly taking down Acourt, Aldabert and Blomfield Grove. But the true victory is this one building." The survivor further explained, "After all, if 200 humans can successfully defend a single Necrotech building, then the entire 100 block suburb has achieved freedom."

The change of the harman scope has gotten to the point, where the original plans of harman occupation of all of Ridleybank has been scaled back to the much more modest, "Second Battle of Blackmore."

According to Dr. Groan Chomsky, professor of Zombie Linguistics at the Malton Institute of Technology. "This is typical harman behavior. They come up with grandiose plans, coordinate dozens of groups against the RRF and feel that holding onto one building is an accomplishment."

"It's really kind of sad," he added.

One anonymous War Consigliere of the RRF further expounded upon the point. "I guess Blackmore is a small loss, tactically. Although, I did ransack Moggridge Place Police Department today. It was really quite easy."

However, this has not stopped the harmanz ecstacy. One piece of graffiti even exclaimed, "Blackmore -- err Ridleybank is completely broken!"

"It's just indicative of the harman mindset," Dr. Chomsky concluded. "A minor, purely symbolic victory is the same thing as a decisive, crushing victory in their delicious brains."

Blackmore Renamed "Green Zone"

At a short dedication ceremony on Wednesday, a number of harmanz triumphantly renamed the Blackmore Building the Green Zone. "This is our bastion of freedom in Ridleybank," said one survivor. "We have liberated this land." The occupiers of the Green Zone have been completely unable to secure the rest of the land they claim to have liberated, being subject to frequent, devastating attacks everywhere else in Ridleybank. "At least the Green Zone is secure... except for the occasional attack," confided another survivor.

Effects of the Siege

Bruno Tattaglia, a zombie shambling around the Blackmore Building, flew into a rage earlier today when he was headshot twice in one day. "Damnit! Now I have to stand up twice!" shouted Tattaglia. "I mean, I'm only gonna be able to attack with 38 ap tomorrow." When asked to describe his assailants, he simply said, "Uh... they were wearing trenchcoats. And one of them was carrying a sword for some reason."

The Final Blows

Blackmore and Nichols ransacked on the eve of Barhahgiving

A day to truly give Barhah for all of our gifts.

The survivor efforts at the Blackmore Building and Nichols Mall, as well as the entire 5th of November incursion were utterly smashed at the hands of the RRF, Minions of the Apocalypse, Feral Undead and other zombie allies. What's more remarkable is that this sea-change took place in less than 24 hours.

While many survivors claim the brief occupation worked to de-mythologize the RRF, the fact that this incursion lasted for a much shorter time than the first "Battle of Blackmore" as well as the fact that the Shacknews horde was not needed to rid the zombie homeland of this plague is indicative of an RRF Renaissance. The power of the Group 0 and Group H hordes was prominently displayed and the RRF's strike teams showed a great level of coordination in bringing down both Blackmore and Nichols.

The combined might of the 5th of November coaltion, the NMC and the PTT were not enough to hold off the RRF and their allies.

With the RRF resurrgent and hundreds of harmanz desperately fleeing Ridleybank, various aspects of the RRF have undertaken new projects.

"I want all of central Malton leveled," Papa Patrucio was overheard as saying. "We need to round up and get rid of any harman presence remaining anywhere near our homeland."

In addition, Group 0 has regrouped under the new leadership of the Malton Herald & Sun's own Deathbymoshpit. Mr. Moshpit was unavailable to comment on his current plans, but is currently rumored to still be in central Malton.

Finally, Murray Jay Suskind, the leader of the Red Guards, ramped up his rhetoric to the denziens of Shearbank. "The KMT must be smashed! The citizens of this so-called Shearbank re-educated! We shall march through Stickling Mall victorious!

Other Accounts of the Fall

  • With great heroism on both sides the Second Battle Over Blackmore is over the building is smashed and the party has begun. One particularly religious meal wrote "If there is a god, he has no power in Ridleybank..." on the wall before swan diving into the horde
  • This reporter managed to get in only hours ago but even then the situation was deeply hopeless, a growing number of 100 zombies vs a paltry shrinking 50, atlast the strain was to much, the final survivors, broken men, laid down their guns and were overtaken. The Malton Herald & Sun was on hand to hear a statment by Tenebrys who was heard to exclaim:
  • "No, there's no use in fleeing, I'll just stay here, I can't take it any longer!" Cockroaches every one of us, cockroaches! We have no place fighting them, only in hiding from them. I only wish my bretheren had understood they never did they kept coming back here! Now, we are crushed once more! I can't take it any longer! I'm not going to take it any longer!! This time, I'm never going back, I'm never going to be human again, I've... lost my faith in humanity! All of you here, those who still draw breath, I say this to you: All ye survivors, serve your god well if he ever decides to call our souls to him as he once did, he'll honor you. Until then, I offer my flesh to the hordes"


C4NT Arrogant and Stupid in Ridleybank

A senior Channel 4 News Team official has said that the C4NT has shown "arrogance and stupidity" in Ridleybank. The anonymous source has made the remarks during an interview with Talunex for the Malton Herald And Sun.

The C4NT says our source was quoted incorrectly - the Malton Herald And Sun experts say this senior official did indeed use those words. It comes after Ron Burgundy discussed changing tactics with top C4NT commanders to try to combat the unrest and subsequent beatings at the hand of the Ridleybank Resistance Front, Red Rum, The Feral Undead and the juggernaut known as ShackNews.

The senior source, a fluent zombese-speaker, who is director of public diplomacy in the C4NT'S Bureau of Central Malton Affairs, told the Malton Herald And Sun that the world was "witnessing failure in Ridleybank and Malton as a whole. That's not the failure of the C4NT alone, but it is a disaster for the region," he said. "I think there is great room for strong criticism, because without doubt, there was arrogance and stupidity by the by the C4NT and The Blackmore Bastard Brigade."

He also said that the C4NT was now willing to speak to any survivor group in an effort to reduce the bloodshed at the hands of the rejuvenated zombie hordes. "We are open to dialogue because we all know that, at the end of the day, the solution to the hell and the killings in Malton is linked to an effective Malton reconciliation. We must open dialogue to stop these maurading gangs of zombies before they're smashing our strongholds and ripping the flesh from our bones"

However, another C4NT spokesman Champ Kind said: "What he [name witheld] says is that it is not an accurate quote." Mr Kind also denied that the C4NT had been guilty of arrogance or stupidity saying that history would be the judge of C4NT actions in Ridleybank.

Mr Burgundy held a video conference on the new measures with top C4NT military commanders in Ackland Mall on Saturday against the backdrop of more survivor losses in Ridleybank and the surrounding suburbs - 7800 so far this month.

A new poll suggests two-thirds of Maltonians believe the C4NT is losing the war in Ridleybank and Malton as a whole, a proportion which analysts says could translate into a drubbing at the malls for Mr Burgundy's Channel 4 News Team in the upcoming 'Second Battle Of Blackmore.'

The Malton Herald And Sun's Murray Jay Suskind in Ridleybank says that while there is no official change in C4NT strategy, change is on everyone's lips.

But another report from the Zombie News Network (ZNN) stated that officials are drawing up a timetable for the C4NT to improve security. This has been denied by both Mr Burgundy C4NT officials.

On Sunday funerals were taking place for 17 people killed in an AU10 raid on Woodroffe Mall. Local survivor groups were quite vocal in their opinion that no exit strategy exists and that they've been abandoned by the Channel Four News Team in what appears to be their darkest hour.

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