South Shuttlebank City Council/News Archive

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News June 2011-Present

The Shuttlebank Clipper.jpg

Wednesday 29 June, 2011 Barbecue Barbecue and Cichonuke fell once again in a joint attempt with other survivors to hold Fabian General Hospital. Rubber stamps went flying.

Monday 27 June, 2011 Following a brilliant door-to-door campaign led by the Council's own Cichonuke, some of South Shuttlebank's key resource buildings have been brought back up to code and the occupancy ban lifted. The question remains: can the Council return to normal operations? Will the streets of South Shuttlebank ever be clear of blood and bodies, if only for a day?

Friday 24 June, 2011 The remaining Council members have become separated as quickly as they were reunited due to a number of health code violations discovered at Fabian General Hospital. First, a hospital simply isn't sanitary with zombies in it. They never wash their hands. Second, they eat patients rather than heal them. As a result, while some may say the hospital is down because zombies took it over, the truth of the matter is that the Council has posted notice that the hospital and adjacent buildings are temporarily closed until these violations are resolved.

Sunday 19 June, 2011 A new era begins again, possibly, with the sudden appearance of Barbecue Barbecue in The Marfell Building. Years have passed since he was last seen. His opening remarks are rumored to have been: "Hmm. Looks like the Shuttlebank I remember. Zombies, zombies, zombies. Pass the vodka, would you?"

News Prior to June 2011

Council member Pazzz takes a moment in Marfell to approve critical Council documents in response to the attack by Extinction.

Saturday 20 December The Council, having been partially digested and somewhat routed in a victorious way by Extinction, are currently in the process of printing new forms in triplicate and planning their next moves. In addition, the Council zoning board will be having a hearing in a few weeks. All Shuttlebankers (living or dead) interested in changes or proposing changes to the zoning rules should attend this meeting to make their voices heard. Where and when is TBD. More news to be posted.

Monday 1 December A rumour no more! On a trip to the Style Building to wait out the current mass incursion in Shuttlebank, this SSCC member has indeed confirmed that none other than Barbeque Barbeque has returned. New rumours now abound. Is this the real Barbeque Barbeque? Was BBQ a cylon all along? Is there some sort of time/space continuim rift in Malton??? Time, Vodka and the Christmas spirit will tell. Yorba.

Monday 1 December A straggler from Yagoton reports that Barbecue Barbecue, long lost council member, has been seen awaiting a revive near the Style Building. If he is returned to life, will he return to Shuttlebank?

Wednesday 3 September: Rumours abound that the South Shuttlebank Council is no more. Truth be told, we don't know. What we do know is that despite the group disbanding, founding members Yorba and Cichonuke can still be found around Shuttlebank, doing what they can. So, the question must be asked, are 2 people a group?

Wednesday 2 July: Rumours abound that the South Shuttlebank Council is no more. Well, there is much truth to these rumours. With some Council members having gone AWOL, and others quitting over unsubstantiated allegations of Council members accepting bribes, the South Chuttlebank City Council has closed its doors. A fun time was had by all during our time, and whilst you can still see some of us out and about, it is not expected that the Council will return to govern Shuttlebank with Vodka, FAK's, Needles, Bullets and more Vodka anytime soon. Yorba.

Wednesday 30 Jan: Council members, having heard a desperate cry for forms in triplicate in Yagoton, have headed over with supplies to help their sister city (and they won't hear a word about being pushed out of Shuttlebank by the EF. No, not a word). Filing and form filling in the Style Building is proving to be especially difficult, with zombies swaying all about and dragging clerks and assistants into the streets. Nevertheless, the dedicated Council members carry on their most important work. Though some may need a needle shortly.

Thursday 10 Jan: Baptism of fire indeed. SSCC's newest member wallyhackenslacker7 was right amongst it in Fabian General Hospital along with Yorba, Cpt Masterton and Cichonuke. Rumours that other Council members have been bribed to stay away from the area are not to be believed. More likely they had too much Polish Vodka and had trouble remembering where to be. It is hoped that these AWOL Council members will soon join the rest of SSCC in Fabian General Hospital and help drive away the zombie scourge that currently threatens it and the safety of Shuttlebank. Yorba.

Wednesday 9 Jan: The Council welcomes its newest member, wallyhackenslacker7. Wally comes to the council highly recommended, with several years of experience in Council policy and the triplication of forms and their delivery to residents. It is hoped with these credentials wallyhackenslacker7 will make a noticable difference in Shuttlebank. Now we just have to find the Council supply of welcoming Vodka and all will be good.

Wednesday 5 Dec: The Council, Tikhon Medical, and various local Shuttlebank residents repelled a significant break-in at the Marfell Building, escorting a fair number of zombies, including some of our EF friends, outside, in order to keep in compliance with (as usual) city codes.

Monday 3 Dec: Council members have voted unanimously to form an alliance of sorts with Tikhon Medical. This should help secure key resource buildings in the Shuttlebank area and free up Council staff to investigate even more complaints of buildings caught breaking buildings regulations (remember, zombies cannot be employed in any hospitality industry....) and to prepare some more the the Council's now famous Polish Vodka. Stock's are running low due to recent celebrations.

Monday 2 Dec: Council members, in a move that would have made Evil Kneivel proud, have made a bold move back into Shuttlebank and have made one of it's key resource buildings their new home. Will the EF return to wreak more havock upon Council members and Shuttlebank, or will the Council once again be at the forefront of yet another Shuttlebank rebuild? Only one thing is certain, SSCC special blend of Polish Vodka will feature heavily whatever the outcome.

Sunday 25 Nov: Reconstruction efforts are underway in Shuttlebank, with increased Council activity. However, more spray paint is needed to cover over EF graffiti, which is, per city codes, not permitted inside or outside Shuttlebank buildings, as it scares people.

Tuesday 20 Nov: SSCC has hit troubling times, with Shuttlebank having been ravaged by Eastonwood Ferals recently, and many SSCC members having gone AWOL. Emergency meetings have been held between Yorba, Roguechalupa and Elpelco Gecko. Action plans are being drafted and will be submitted for review shortly.

Tuesday 6 Nov: The Council formally introduces and welcomes it's newest member, Cpt Masterton. Celebrations will be held in the Council chambers to introduce Cpt Masterton to everyone, and Council's stock of Polish Vodka shall be enjoyed whilst watching the Melbourne Cup. It is hoped that the horses racing by will distract local zombies to allow Council members time to celebrate with their newest member.

Monday 29 Oct: The Council declares unequivocal fictional victory over the EF and the ironically well-known Unknown Armies, with Barbecue Barbecue having died in glorious sleep in the last 24 at the claws of the hungry local citizenry of Eastonwood. Forms in triplicate, alas, were lost.

Thursday 25 Oct: Finding that South Shuttlebank is doing quite well, with all outstanding citations delivered, back taxes being paid, and cookies and Polish vodka in excellent supply, the Council has decided to take up adventures in Eastonwood, if only to return some of the kindnesses the EF visited upon Shuttlebank long ago.

Thursday 18 Oct: The Council is delighted to report that very little zombie activity is occuring in South Shuttlebank, not to mention the suburb more broadly. The hottest target these days appears to be William Avenue Police Department, though the reason for this isn't clear. The relative quietude of South Shuttlebank has the Council contemplating other activities... if you know what I mean. You know. Of course you know. Seriously. You know.

Sunday 7 Oct: Whoa, is it October already?? The Council, caught up in a backlog of paperwork, has looked up just in time to discover a rather unpleasantly large number of zombies knocking at the doors of the Marfell Building. While LeeMoor began rebuilding the barricades, Yorba ensured he had a steady flow of Polish vodka. Council teamwork at its finest!

Tuesday 18 Sep: The Council has once again set up shop in South Shuttlebank, spending a very pleasant night in a powered Marfell, drinking Polish vodka and eating cookies (freshly baked by Elpelco Gecko!) and telling stories about the old days. Not long after, Dr'Brainz, leader of Extinction, dropped by, paying the Council the first formal diplomatic visit since their return. A hearty exchange of bites and gunfire reaffirmed the special historical relationship between the Council and this, erm, "special interest group."

Friday 14 Sep: Breaking Council news: LeeMoor has elected and been elected to join the Council on the basis of his promise of Polish vodka for every living member of South Shuttlebank. Elpelco Gecko, promising no vodka but a really excellent name has also joined the Council, looking to make a home once again for Shuttlebank's living (or hoping-to-be-living) residents. With its numbers increased and its zest for civic improvements, the Council has begun making sneaky, wary, politically clever moves towards its offices, after vacationing in Yagoton for a brief respite.

Sunday 2 Sep: Finding itself /b/lown away by a well-coordinated assault on Stickling Mall (again), the Council is once more regrouping. Barbecue Barbecue is just glad he got one of those tasty twisty hot pretzels before the food court was overrun.

Friday 31 Aug: The Council remains outside Shuttlebank, though has paid a few visits to old haunts in search of life and friends. With the continued ravaging of the NE of Malton by tax-dodging, code-violating, permit-lacking zombies, the Council remains uncertain as to when it will be able to resume its operations locally.

Thursday 23 Aug: Travel broadens the mind, they say. And there's nothing like old acquaintances. Combine the two, as in the EF coming to the Whippey Building in Shearbank, and you've got broad Council minds splattered all over the pavement by old acquaintances. Which is what has happened (largely) to the Council as of today. Oh well, better to be eaten by a familiar face, eh?

Tuesday 21 Aug: Champagne for everyone! The Council rejoices at the return of Cichonuke, last seen lying down in the wastes of Yagoton. Cicho does seem slightly dazed due to his long sleep, as he was observed at one point trying to load a pistol with a first aid kit, though Yorba quickly set him straight, and all seems to be well now.

Friday 17 Aug: The Council has pulled itself back together (mostly--a couple members are still missing, and roguechalpua is short one thumb), and is currently restocking at an undisclosed mall. If you desperately need to reach a Council member, please leave a message at the sound of the beep. The Council will return to Shuttlebank, though the time of this return is yet to be determined; deliberations are underway.

Wednesday 15 Aug: Demonstrating that the Council can only be completely taken down when members of two monstrous hordes attack within days of each other, Council members finally give up their brains entirely to Extinction and LUE. Mindless they may be, but it is expected that city government functions will continue about as effectively as usual.

Monday 13 Aug: As part of the effort of showing some folks how to die properly in battle, several members of the SSCC find themselves unliving following the assault on the Marfell Building by Extinction and various other unaffiliated zombies (though, sadly, no sign of Mongrelman). Needless to say, citations against Extinction are mounting, and they may well turn out to be the first group against whom firmer collection actions will be taken by the Council. In the meanwhile, BBQ and Cicho say, "Mrh?"

Tuesday 7 Aug: With Dubov appearing again in the Marfell Building, hope rises within the Council that Friday will indeed be a day to drink and celebrate at Club Brookeman, particularly given the (relatively) quiet state of South Shuttlebank just now. The Council continues to make every effort at securing revives for its constituents.

Monday 6 Aug: While valiantly resisting Extinction's attack on Shuttlebank, two council members were assassinated by Vigeous, leader of the Rouge Heart Aces. It is unclear whether this was a contract killing, perhaps ordered by a disgruntled citizen with a backlog of unpaid fines, or simply a random act of violence. Council members Yorba and Cichonuke have both since been revived, and are currently delivering services in return to the Style Building in our sister city of Yagoton. Thari and Barbecue Barbecue remain in Shuttlebank, trying to assist the living citizenry in recovery. The whereabouts of other council members are unknown or undisclosed at this time.

Thursday 2 Aug: The anti-survivor group Extinction has rolled into South Shuttlebank, and though the SSCC fought valiantly to hold their first target, the Marfell Building, the small but dedicated council was, alas, overwhelmed. Citations and fines against Extinction are mounting, suggesting that, if the SSCC is able to take proper action, Extinction will be facing severe penalties. An effort to begin collecting fines from one of their prominent members, Dr'Brainz, was met with an incoherent cry. More surely to come.

Tuesday 24 July: A mob of zombies continues to plague Fabian General Hospital, and the SSCC (temporarily) loses one of its own, Cichonuke, to the brain-hungry undead. Barbecue Barbecue, who was in Fabian at the time Cicho was rent to pieces, later confessed that he had not noticed what was happening because he had found some fingerpaints in the children's ward, and was trying to paint a picture of the SSCC.

Thursday 12 July: The Council is confronted with a new challenge, finding itself in something of a regulatory dispute with members of the DEM, who have been bringing down barricade levels in Fabian General Hospital (and presumably elsewhere) to fit the Uniform Barricade Plan. Unfortunately, this effort conflicts with the Council's recent policy of When We're Getting Our A!@#@@ Handed To Us, Cade Fabian To EHB. More to follow, certainly.

Friday 6 July: The Council is once again largely alive and has returned to Shuttlebank with fresh supplies of needles and pens, ready to begin again the process of restoring key city services.

Sunday 1 July: The Council is once again largely dead, this time thanks to a visit by the Eastonwood Ferals. However, the Council has a plan: get revived and retake our offices. Granted, that's always the plan, but this time it's an official response. Note the difference.

Monday 25 June: Another bloody 24 in Shuttlebank for the SSCC. With the majority of its members now among the walking dead following a brutal break-in at the Marfell Building, the Council is once again faced with the challenge of scraping itself back together and searching out a new temporary headquarters in which its forms in triplicate may be stored.

Wednesday 20 June: With the infamous Thari (image coming soon) having recently joined the SSCC, the Council enters into a new era, with still greater promise to deliver a modestly satisfying civic experience to the South Shuttlebank community. As soon as the Council is able to secure Fabian General Hospital, plans are to have a bake sale in the lobby to raise funds to have all its forms printed in triplicate, to ensure the greater availability of critical Council documents.

Friday 1 June: Council members are citing a local zombie horde for repeated violations of building safety codes, with barricades being torn down and disease-carrying zombies entering critical health-related Shuttlebank resources. The Council is taking swift and decisive action on these citations, impaired only by its uncertain membership and the fact that Yorba is, at the moment, mostly dead, and he was the one carrying the citation pad. The Council wishes to assure the South Shuttlebank citizenry, however, that work is underway to get carbon copies made in future.

Wednesday 23 May: In what a bystander described as looking like 'a handful of cookies leaping into a tall glass of milk', the South Shuttlebank City Council boldly took the fight to South Shuttlebank's frayed edges, as promised, and in particular, the Godden NT building, where council members have engaged with EF forces to secure and retain survivor control of this resource. The Council is also grateful for the kind assistance of several long-time Shuttlebankers who provided help when it was needed most.

Thursday 10 May: It appears that not only has Club Brookeman opened, it has met with large success. As such, some of the regular performers can be seen around Shuttlebank complaining about pay disputes. Loyal staff have been seen trying to placate the infuriated, and meeting with reasonable success.

The happy news is that the retaking of Shuttlebank has gone tremendously well. Fabian and its neighbours have been lit up for the first time in months, and residents are returning in droves. Revive queues (especially Look Road) are now a place to find a quick revive, Police Departments are now open for business to help ensure the safety of all residents.

Soon it shall be time for the SSCC to expand upon their established base and ensure the outer area of Shuttlebank is also back in order. These happy times have also seen a few active members of The Shuttlebank Militia around town, showing they are back in action.

Thursday 26 April: With Yagoton rising up and standing on its own once more, it is time for the SSCC to move on. With their eyes set upon reclaiming their own place in Malton. Initial reports indicate zombie numbers have dwindled from the dark times of past, it will still be an uphill battle for the SSCC. Will they succeed? Will Club Brookeman open once more? YES! When? No-one knows...

Saturday 7 April: Joining the many groups affiliated with the New Malton Colossus, the Council appeared in force over the last 24 hours to help retake the Whatmore Building in Yagoton. Forms were filled out, permits were granted, revives were done and zombies were killed. It is hoped that, if the YRC can be restored to functioning status, the SSCC will have a solid base from which to begin efforts to restore Shuttlebank to its former semi-glory and administrative efficiency!

Wednesday 28 March: Though striving valiantly to stay alive, including a string of deaths and subsequent revives, the Council is, alas, now mostly dead, and has decided to temporarily relocate outside of Shuttlebank. Once all have been returned to life, the Council plans to take a moment to print up more permits and forms in triplicate, gather supplies, and then return to glorious administrative duties in Shuttlebank. Our offices shall not remain empty for long!

Monday 26 March: The temporary safehouse established at Hain Library was sacked by a gaggle of twelve zombies, including one bearing a Mall Tour '07 group tag (not the brightest zombie, apparently, as MT'07 was last seen far south of here). Yorba and Barbecue Barbecue escaped death, at least temporarily, but Cichonuke and some guests turned out to be fine dining for the most unwelcome visitors. As ever, the dead greatly outnumber the living in Shuttlebank, and now even more so. Still, the Council presses on, certain that once the right zoning laws are passed (following a round of Council revives), the zombie terror will be greatly reduced.

Thursday 22 March: Alas, not much has improved in Shuttlebank. Survivor numbers are low, zed numbers are still relatively unknown, and many buildings still have zombie squatters making rehabitation difficult for humans. Those looking to help clean up Shuttlebank are welcome to come help. South Shuttlebank Council is still open for nominations, so if interested follow the links.

Tuesday 13 March: Shuttlebank remains a poor choice of suburb for those without free-running or barricading skills. For those humans looking to gain some XP, plenty of healing & zombie hunting opportunities await you in sunny Shuttlebank. Buildings have, for the most part, all been invaded by zombies, and lit buildings don't tend to stay that way. Any humans looking to join a group, come say hello. We're actively seeking like-minded people.

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