Team Zombie Hardcore
From The Urban Dead Wiki
Team Zombie Hardcore is a survivor group based out of North Blytville. They are recognized as the second oldest continuous group of any kind, behind DK13, in Malton, as documented on several sites, having been formed in late August of 2005, and having been active, with continuous leadership until the present.
|Team Zombie Hardcore|
|The flag of TZH!|
|Leadership:||His Holiness: Mark Whalberg,the Fhour HorseMhen]|
|Goals:||Bring Glory and Beat Assery to Malton, and to give Praise to "The Aweosme"|
|Recruitment Policy:||You must be forever Hardcore, Forever Awesome! And you MUST HAIL WHALBERG!|
Team Zombie Hardcore (TZH) is a TEAM of human survivors who attack and kill zombies and Threats to the Awesome in North Blythville, South Blythville and the SSZ aka Survivor Security Zone. TZH is led by their divine leader Mark Whalberg, a Lunar/Solar Spiritual Being who was created in the image of "The Awesome" by "The Awesome" to further the Hardcore efforts of this fundamental force of being in the universe. TZH, while headed by Whalberg, led by the 4 HorseMhen of Whalberg: Dhavid Grohl - The Ruler of Rock, Duke Cage - Destroyer of D-Bags, BuckNaked Jihad - The Bringer of Badass and superdot - The Sultan of Swat. Each of the Fhour HorseMhen lead their own Sect of TZH. These Saints of Sweetness lead the glorious quest against all that sucks, against all that is soft of core and weak of sauce. Ours is the struggle for a more awesome Malton, ours is the Quest for the purification of souls. To purge the Suck from this land. Ours is Awesomeness. For we are the bearers of the words of Whalberg. We are those that shout the most furious of tributes to "He That Is Awesome": BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
According to group leaders within TZH this flag is the best possible representation of their ideology and attitude, along with our newly incorporated theme music: BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!If you think you belong in that music video then hit up our forum at BTTW! Onlineor contact us in game where we will be in the middle of doing something legendary. For those of you who can't join, Whalberg has licensed "Brawndo Inc" to market his urine as a new energy drink called "Brawndo" seen here:Whalberg Piss!
Its true, Alexander Karelin is now teaching "SUPLEX" in CoS(the most awesome college in Malton, the other one sucks) applications are open! At CoS, our admission standards are strict. Only the most awesome applicants pass our initial screen, they are then subjected to a panel interview in which they are beaten, possibly to death by anywhere between 5 and 10 gorillas wearing "Papa Nixon" masks. If the applicant surivives, he or she must then recite the CoS motto. This is pretty easy, as long as they still have control of their bodily functions because the college motto is simply "MORE SUPLEX".
Once admitted, our students study all the time. Study the inside of suck-tards faces with the bottom of their boots. Doesn't make sense? Neither does your mom. Our 200 level courses include "TOTAL PWNAGE 201.33" and "MAGMA 202". 300 level courses are some of our most rigorous, and carry a high mortality rate. These include "BATTLETOADS 312", "EATING A LARGE PAN PIZZA IN THREE MINUTES 303" and "BIG 322". Finally, for those students who have completed their initial three years, our senior level courses include "SUPLEX 402", which is a continuation of our longitudinal curriculum in the art of Suplex. In this final course, students learn how to suplex smaller buildings and structures into enemies. Fun had by all.
Team Zombie Hardcore membership is is by approval of Mark Whalberg only. Email Dhavid Grohl at TigerStripedDog@gmail.com today to see about joining TZH and beating total ass. Dhavid Grohl screens all comers, and passes a select few on to Mark Whalberg, who makes the final decision.
Membership is exclusive, members are not allowed to be a part of another group.
Members and their Zombie/Pker Kill Counts post 10-17-06
Mark Whalberg - Overlord/Warlord/Divine Leader/Commander in Chief - 95/5
Dhavid Grohl - The Ruler of Rock - the 1st HorseMhan
RFKzombiekiller - Thats right motherfuckers! He's back, and those text rapists on Brainstock can suck a dick! HIS! We don't give a SHIT about what they say. GET SOME!
Scooty Puff Sr
Viridious - 31/2
Kiiro - 131/14
a puke covered bum
Duke Cage - The Destroyer of Douche Bags - the 2nd HorseMhan - Rock 'n Rohl!
Morris O'Brian - Squad Doctor and Photo Journalist
Shirly Logan - Squad Mutant - Back from the dead.
ObiFireFighter - Walking Testicle of Hardcore Fury - PWNAGE! ...Why is Fuzzball so hairy?
Jayne M Cobb -
don't shoot im stoned
Security officer182 - I hate Zombies but I hate PKers the most
Below is a list of Squads that TZH was at one point organized into.
Members on Vacation or in Retirement
Big Nixon - Reincarnated/Retired - 112/7
Mike Smith - Profile Police Nemesis Hero - Fuck YOU, PROFILE POLICE! - Current Leader of Team Strike Force
KingDoncho (of Punchtania)
Dale Crover - The Drumming Legend (and douche bag killer) BuckNaked Jihad - The Bringer of Badass - The 4th HorseMhan
Big Ol' Tbone - 19/2 Gaze upon him and despair ye softcore.
TanManDown- Designated doctor of asskickery
Cyrano De Ventura- He skates the dreams of the children who have no one to speak for them.
Superdot - The Sultan of Swat - 3rd HorseMhan
FC3 Mais -
The Zombodile Hunter
Dark Fuzzball - Bigfoot - I'm so Hairy! Why?
8008135 - ENFORCER OF PAIN - Flaregun + The Happy Shopper's FACE = KaBLAMO! Best Kill Shot EVAR!
Owner of Face - The name does explain some things.
Scotw - Tech Guy -
Shu - Scientist - You DON'T mess with humans! You DON'T!
Jakovasaur - Zombie Bait - Get Some! You got your face rocked by a chick!
Gus Johnson (en memorium)
This Group is HARDCORE
| This group follows |
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
Since the foundation of their fortification of fornication, aka TZH comes to Whalberg Mansion in Stanbury Village... TZH has spawned a whole new breed of Warrior in the Survivor Security Zone. That is of course, The Legion HARDCORE. Many have come to see the true light that is the awesomeness of Mark Whalberg. Many have come to know what the words "BALLS TO THE WHALLS" really mean. These masses grow daily, and soon all of Malton will bow before the Lord of Awesome! REPENT! AWESOME HAS COME TO THE WORLD IN THE FORM OF ONE MAN!!11! AND HIS NAME IS WHALBERG! If you see the above banner on the webpage of any group, you can know in your Heart of Hamburgers that the group you see is truly HARDCORE.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
Behold! The flyer for TZH PIRATE RADIO! FUCK THE FCC! HOLY CRAP! ~ Featuring MC RFKzombiekiller Rocking your shit in the AM AND THE PM!!!
|Short-wave Radio Info|
|This group or location has a dedicated radio frequency.
Frequency: 27.37 MHz
To: Whom it may concern (that would be everyone) From: TZH leadership
TEAM ZOMBIE HARDCORE is totally awesome. We believe that the bruising of zombie ass is essential. We also stress the importance of swizeetness and ass kickery. We do not support PK'ers, because PK'ers are all man-ginas. Any confirmed PKers of TZH members or declared members of PKer groups are a TOP priority for our "Asses to be bruised" list.
Our authority and rules apply only to ourselves, and as such we are totally sweet as hell. TZH believes in the divine power of its leader Mark Whalberg, and as such you will frequently see us tagging buildings in his honor with his righteous message to the world: "BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!" You won't find our TEAM bashing other groups unprovoked. We are already better than you without in game trash talk, and we know it.
For those seeking refuge and a place to make a difference; look no further than North Blythville, the ANTI-RG suburb.
To PKers: What the fuck is wrong with you? As if there isn't enough to worry about in this fucked up place. Get ready to have your shit seriously rocked, because we won't stop, we can't stop. Thats what being Hardcore does to you. Turns you into a super robot from the future of awesomeness and asskickery. To Bounty Hunters: Get fucked! If you kill a member of TZH for any reason, you're going to eat lead like the PKer scum you are. To The DEM: Fuck off. As long as you support the RG, you're dead to us. To ZOMBIES: You suck. We are coming for you. Fear us. Our fervor and fanatacism has no bounds, and can only be described in one word: HARDCORE!!!
Action Shots! OMFingG BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
Here you can see RFKzombiekiller rocking it out with his trademarked spread weapon! Eat it zombie turtle boss!
This is Sludge Vohaul... yeah, those are flying zombie love children, and thats him kicking their asses.
Here you see Wayne Enders showing off his massive pecs... and calling down missiles from the jet he controls with his mind. Beleive it because its FACT. (This pose actually means "BALLS TO THE WHALLS" in sign language... look it up)
Here you see Viridious, as he beats the everloving snot out of two zombie androids... that have machine gun hands. Get ready, because they're coming for you next... oh wait, they're dead because Viridious PWNT THEM!
Here you can see Commander Namyr and Papa Nixon. That is Namyr doing the sextuple front flip with blazing missle deployment extreme firing action. Papa is there in the front there shooting at the zeds off screen.
This is none other than kickbutt wailing on the zombie worm boss... kickbutt also enjoys wailing on guitar, rocking it out, and pwning your shit on the weekends. Kiss your sister for him.
Here you see the Battletoads, who also praise Whalberg and beat ass. Chuck Norris once fought the Battle Toads. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth... it ended in a tie.
This is, of course, The Zombodile Hunter doing what he does best. PWNING the fuck out of a huge ass Zombodile. Yes, Zombodiles have three heads, and yes The Zombodile Hunter kicks all three of their faces at once. One kick is with his oversized penis (Shown here wreathed in flame).
It should be obvious who this is. Who else can make themselves explode at will? Who else could face down the Zombie Motherbrain? Oh thats right, Mark Whalberg. For the record the explosion comes from knocking his testicles together.
This is Duke Cage driving the "Polar Express to Pain" Tank that he built using only his feet. Why only his feet? Becuase like hell would Duke Cage ever stop beating zombies to death with his hands long enough to make a tank. What are you stupid?
The fucking awesome civilians of North Blythville can be seen here, celebrating TZH and shouting "Balls to the Whalls". There is a zombie dog that we let chill because the Polar Bear in TSF headquarters has sex with it... I mean seriously no human should have to go through that, and it has to have sex with SOMETHING.
The Highlight Reel
Ashley Valentine - One of the cooler enemies we have had, who turned around and BTTW'ed with the best of them. Keep rocking!
Jaffee - For representing the set, and knowing what the fuck is up. BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
TZH is still a rockin' and a stompin' in 2011! Shut up! North Blythville is still being dominated by awesome and zombies are getting punted over the border. If you got a problem with that then fuck yourself... and then suck pavement. But do it in another burb, I just cleaned that spot to eat my hobo chili. BALLS TO THE WHALLS! --Duke cage 12:36, 11 March 2011 (UTC)
Team Zombie Hardcore Continues to Rescue Malton From Softcoreness!: With the new recruits and revitalized heroes of TZH we have followed Whalberg to the center of Malton where we are breaking off feet in the ass of zombies everywhere. Whalberg Mansion shall forever stand! Long live The Kilt Store! Long live the SSZ! AND Balls To the WHALLZ! --Duke cage 16:00, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
It Rains BBQ Beef Ribs in North Blythville Scientists were at first baffled by this recent phenomenon. However, anaylsis of the blood of TZH members found it to contain a new element, possibly lunar in origin that has been named "Whalbergium" in honor of Mark Whalberg. This mineral, when combined with Oxygen forms Awesomite. This compound is highly unstable, and has been found to emit a radiation that appears to be outside of the known spectrum, whose penetrance is close to that of gravity. This marvelous new form of energy is toxic to zombies, much as Kryptonite is toxic to Kryptonians. It is also toxic to soft-core losers and asshats. Scientists soon deduced that Mark Whalberg's lunar birth is likely responsible for this condition, and his followers have been "contaminated" with a similar affliction, although in lesser quantities. In addition to increased genital size, Hardening of Core, and supernatural senses of cool, Awesomite is believed to be causing the meteorological phenomenon observed recently. IN addition to the days showering of Beef Ribs, weather-persons in the area are expecting a drizzling of Whiskey and Gin. If only we could get it to rain tonic.
For super d-bag enemy status check out our Who sucks the most? Page.
The following information is old, and will soon be moved to this page: DoucheBaggery.com
We recommend you check it out, if you have liked what you have seen so far (and if you haven't you're a moron) you'll like this.
Your Friendly Reminder...
Going one moment without being awesome is a sin. Have you sinned today? Have no fear, your sins against The Awesome are forgiven through your inspired faith in Mark Whalberg. Remember, Whalberg pwnz your ass. Say 3 "Balls to the Whalls" and wail 4 times on an air guitar and all is forgiven my child.
Also, bracelets with a small HWWR logo on them are availble to faithful followers of the Awesomeness. If you are ever questioning what you should do, or how to act, you can look at your bracelet and ask: How Would Whalberg Rock? And the answer will come to you as surely as zeds will eat your brains if you run out of AP outside.
|||Under The Beyonder's Grace|
|"WHO'S GETTIN FUCKED??!!!"
This Group is Allied The Church Of The Beyonder. They are true Pimps Of The Land.
|Sacred Ground Policy Supporter|
|This user supports the Sacred Ground Policy.|
|Team Zombie Hardcore is an ally of the Olney Militia|
|Coalition for Fair Tactics Group|
|This group has ratified the Coalition for Fair Tactics Group Pledge.|