Talk:Channel 4 News Team/Archive

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Don't edit this! It's an archive. If you want to get a message to the Channel 4 News Team, do so here! --Ron Burgundy 02:31, 4 May 2006 (BST)


Friends and Allies

The corleone family

we thank you for supporting the 5th of november and our leader, beggs for forgiveness, because we didn't know the numberof repoters, subsequencly, were is the "stats"page.Glad to be an ally the corleone family.

The stats page can be found here[1]. Only groups with 10 or more members are listed. As for forgiveness, Ron Burgundy is a creature of benevolence and never judged! Now you stay Classy, Mobster! --Ron Burgundy 20:01, 17 April 2006 (BST)

we tank you for your forgiveness and will join up with your group after we meet our newest member.

never makin' you an offer u can't refuse
the malton mafia
the corleone family
were the frick are u?
At the moment, the Channel 4 News Team is keeping it Classy in Yagoton, mostly in and around Bale Mall. We will probably be moving to Barrville, as soon as the details are worked out and Yagoton is secure. --Ron Burgundy 03:58, 18 April 2006 (BST)
the corleone family thanks you again, and asks Ron to "stay classy". We also suggest to channel 4 a side trip to the overrun ackland mall 4 a rondezvous point
That's a good idea! Can't enter Glorious Battle without the Blessed Weapons of Odin, to be sure. I'll work all that out as soon as we get rid of those 70ish zombies outside Bale Mall and put Phase Five into action and maybe we'll join up in Ackland! --Ron Burgundy 01:17, 19 April 2006 (BST)
the don sends his regards and a small box of assorted cannoli; we are on the move to ackland
A quick glance over the area shows that Ackland Mall is completely overrun; there isn't even a barricade up. The whole suburb is empty of survivors! I suggest we meet up in low key safehouses in and around Richmond Hills and Havercroft and extend the barricades from there. This is all very tentative, of course! We will see you, The Don, in Glorious Battle! PS: I enjoyed your cannoli. When in Rome, you know? --Ron Burgundy 20:15, 21 April 2006 (BST)

some idiot moderator, deleted vito the don's wiki page, we r sorry for the inconvienence, we beg you to try to get it back, see u around, the don

What happened, exactly? I know the mods don't take too kindly to people making wiki pages for themselves when they already have user pages ("the don" will be deleted if there's already "user: the don"). That could have been it. I think they're just trying to save space. --Ron Burgundy 01:11, 22 April 2006 (BST)
me and my 2nd emankillsu were about to edit, the vito the don page, when it poped up saying it had been deleted from the wiki, because it gave no info, which is a lie.
That's really strange. Try asking the mods, they're mostly reasonable folk, and a list of them can be found on the sysop page, right here. --Ron Burgundy 08:43, 22 April 2006 (BST)
thanks ron, but he won't listen to reason, i tried. oh well......
and to you ron "stay classy".
Heh, sounds like a moderator.  :( --Ron Burgundy 20:29, 22 April 2006 (BST)
we managed to work something out with him after intense negotionation we worked out a compromise be there soon after elroy finds a revive, ~~bob8914Bob8914
Righto, cap'n! Richmond Hills is full of Glory and there's more than enough to go around! --Ron Burgundy 01:36, 23 April 2006 (BST)
we just got a message from a group called the malton mafia, which is our abberviation


we're did you go? you ditched us? can you give cooridantes of were you left?
I'm in town, don't worry about it! Check your private messages on the forum. --Ron Burgundy 06:11, 26 April 2006 (BST)

Remember, remember the 5th of November

You are all urged to storm the infected heart of our fair city of Malton on the 5th of November. We shall not lie down, we shall take back what is ours! Codename V 14:44, 4 April 2006 (BST)

I'll see where "Our Cunning Plan" is in seven months time. Until then, you stay Classy. --Ron Burgundy 21:32, 4 April 2006 (BST)


NoobCakes would like to request an alliance with the noble Channel 4 News Team. -Sweirdo

By the grace of Odin, it will be done. --Ron Burgundy 17:58, 23 February 2006 (GMT)


The Special Tactics And Rescue Squad request an alliance in the name of Odin. -Stephen Wolfe02:04, 27 Jan 2006 (GMT)

May the gods have mercy on our enemies- because we won't. --Ron Burgundy 17:59, 23 February 2006 (GMT)

Caiger Mall

Just a reminder, if any of your troops need a revive. St. Isidores is the place to be. --Flaunted 17:01, 28 Nov 2005 (GMT)

Hell Yeah. -The Ron

Yagoton Revivification Clinic Sends Help...and scotch!

Our good friends from LCD have put out the call for our help. Our de-facto leader Son of Uborkapete has told them that we will provide revivs at St Chad's Church [32,20]. I thought the musky and lusty Channel 4 News Team might like to know of this plan for aid. And scotch. Granted, it's about 15 AP from our homebase at the primary Yagoton Revivification Clinic, but my co-workers are a special breed. A sexy breed. LCD also use Scobell Crescent [23, 13] and Nurten Avenue [25, 21] as reviv points, apparently. --MorthBabid 05:57, 30 Nov 2005 (GMT)

Thank you all. May you have land and descendants. By the way, MorthBabid, we smell of Rich mahogany, not musk. -The Ron.

A Message from CMS

Great warriors, soldiers, medics, and scientist alike; allies who were, are and will bravely defend the mall, listen to me. The mall has been under siege now for more then a month and the defenders have done well. The zombies have noticed this as well, and have lost a great deal of hope, trying to reach an unreachable goal. They are tired, and want to leave, but do cannot make up their mind. It is up to us, fellow defenders of all sorts and ages, to help them decide, to help give them a good hard push, send them home, to where they belong. Fellow members of CMS have come up with an effective plan, and would like to call out to all the allies of the mall to aid them in, for this is as a mall for us as it is for you. If you would like to get involved in the plan, please email me ( your Username and your profile link, and I would then send you a password to an account for a forum, on which the plans and discussions are being held. All this is a precaution, in order to prevent complications of zombie spies. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, I would most definitely answer it.

Hope to see you all in the birth of this great plan, MLSGuy (Steven Yu, member of CMS)

There's a reply on your userpage! --Ron Burgundy 06:48, 21 March 2006 (GMT)

We need you Ron

Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss being near you. When this is over, we should get a safehouse together! Scinfaxi 03:06, 29 March 2006 (BST)

And then everyday, I'd come home from the News Station and know that there's a guy, somewhere in my house, waiting to attack me. A modern Pink Panther, to be sure! --Ron Burgundy 09:23, 30 March 2006 (BST)
With a trident! Scinfaxi 07:18, 31 March 2006 (BST)
In the Heart! --Ron Burgundy 21:26, 4 April 2006 (BST)

We Need You Too, Ron

Recently, we at the Crimson Wolves have been having a slight problem: We're being PKed by a group we know practically nothing about. This group calls themselves "BoSs," and although we've been unable to identify their motives, we've gotten links for at least three of their members' profiles:

Z warrior

Anyway, we'd appreciate it if the Channel 4 News Team could help spread the word around that these people are all a bunch of PKers--and then help us kill them.

Thanks for listening :) --Specialist290 15:08, 30 March 2006 (BST)

Done and done. Let me know if you have any updates! You kids stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 06:57, 31 March 2006 (BST)
I'm thinking the BoSs situation may have resolved itself for now (at least w/ our group), but we Crimson Wolves will remain vigilant... Anyway, thanks for your support, and don't be afraid to stop by our Shrine of Victory some time :) --Specialist290 00:11, 16 April 2006 (BST)


@Ron: If you're still in the Yagoton area and the Whatmore Building is still up, you can head there (if you haven't already). Also, if it's unpowered, you can power it back up again, which will help out the YRC a great deal :) Just a suggestion, and judging by the timestamps above [no longer above, since I've juggled the wiki page] you've probably already taken care of reviving the guy, but just thought I'd be a helpful soul after the little broadcast your News Channel made for us. --Specialist290 23:19, 3 April 2006 (BST)

Yeah, I went to The Style Building with the intention of setting up my generator there, but found it full of zombies. 1 AP of searching produced a revive, so I didn't bother setting it up, knowing full well what would happen. I just walked back in and found the building empty. If it stays that way, I'll set us up the generator and you guys will be Rock and Roll! Thanks for the suggestion, though, and if you ever need any more baoadcasting, just stop on by and stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 21:26, 4 April 2006 (BST)
Some days I enjoy poetic irony, but others... And today is one of those "others." I just logged on after spending 2 days stuck in the real world, and lo and behold: I'm currently dead at the Rev Clinic, and I'd like to spread the word that the BoSs group has found its way up to Yagoton. The two are related, BTW, and if anyone needs help finding out how, they haven't been in Malton long enough. Therefore, I'd like to request 2 things of the C4NT:
*1. A revie.
*2. An announcement for everyone to attack the three members of BoSs on sight wherever they may find them.
Once more, thanks in advance. --Specialist290 01:30, 7 April 2006 (BST)
By the Gods, BoSs has attacked another group?! I'll write something in The News about it later tonight, maybe, when I expect to enjoy a large amount of scotch. I say "maybe" because I'll be in the company of a certain Pirate Hooker most of the weekend, so that may warrent the greater part of my attention. I'd write something up now, but I find that my Ron Burgundy voice is best after scotch and also it's noon and I really need to go to bed and then get my apartment in ship shape!
As for a revive, I'll do what I can and I'll put the word out. It'll probably work best if you send me your profile and location (I'm near Bale Mall) so other Fine Citizens can help you, too. I've got two revives on hand and and few News Team members to pull back from Valhalla, but I'll be your Orpheus! --Ron Burgundy 16:47, 7 April 2006 (BST)

Nope, sorry, same group as last this time ;) Sorry for not clearing that up. --Specialist290 14:12, 8 April 2006 (BST)

...And I just noticed that I forgot to put my user profile up for you. Of course, since I've already revived, it's a little late for that, but I forsee us having a lot of contact in the future, so I might as well: Spec290. I also have a "Specialist290" character running around somewhere else in Malton, but I don't really use him for much, so old Spec290's my primary one. --Specialist290 20:39, 9 April 2006 (BST)
Righto, sorry it took me so long to get back to you! Lots of madness this weekend, you know? Anyway, the News Team will be sticking around, for the time being, to bring life or death to all the residents of Yagoton, where appropriate. --Ron Burgundy 05:27, 11 April 2006 (BST)

Siege On the YRC

The YRC requests armed and well-groomed aid at our primary clinics main NecroTech Yagoton resource: The Whatmore Building. Clearing this out and establishing a fueled generator will ensure we can cure and clear out Yagoton of bear-attracting zombies much more quickly. --MorthBabid 04:45, 4 April 2006 (BST)

You know, I've been thinking about this and I'm pretty sure the best thing for a revive clinic to do in the event of a suburb battle is to pull its base into another suburb and launch forays into town to do reviving. The thing is, Nectotechs are really much better off with power than without it and keeping a generator in a buildning is dangerous in a battle. What's more, you stand a good chance of reviving a lot of Wes Mantooth's thugs by mistake- and that's especially bad, given the 10AP thing. Of course, that's all strategy and the Channel 4 News Team isn't about strategy! We're about looking good and, when it comes to Glorious Battle, you need go no further. We'll fight yer zombies in the streets, in the Mall, and in the Nectotechs! Let it be known that all zombies in Necrotechs in Yagoton will be slain with the utmost Tenacity and Zeal. --Ron Burgundy 21:26, 4 April 2006 (BST)
Most of us have unoffically fallen back to help retake and enforce the Mall, actually. With Bale Mall seeming mostly secured, we're working on getting Harkness Street reactivated before moving on to re-establish the YRC's primary clinic. --MorthBabid 10:36, 10 April 2006 (BST)
Yeah, I spotted a bunch of folks at Harkness Street. The News Team'll do what it can to help you folks rebuild! --Ron Burgundy 05:28, 11 April 2006 (BST)
Bale Mall is cleared and barricaded, Harkness Street is now online, and the Whatmore Building is barricaded and awaiting a portable generator. Huzzah! You are princes among princes, Channel 4! --MorthBabid 09:16, 12 April 2006 (BST)
I stopped by the Whatmore Building just now to find a generator running. Of late, I've been looking for some spray cans to leave obscene messages all around town and am now the proud owner of some five power generators, so I guess I'll wander around setting them up where they can be of some use. As for Harkness Street, are there any other revive zones in town and are there rotters waiting there to absorb my 10AP (!!!) needles? --Ron Burgundy 15:46, 12 April 2006 (BST)
St. Swithun's Church and Harkness Street are the two offical revivie points here in Yagoton, but many people also recognize the Sacred Ground Policy as well. Just make sure to run a quick DNA Extractor check to weed out any cases with Brain Rot before attempting to use your syringe. And for the record, consider yourself already on the YRC's unoffical 'Revive First' list. :) --MorthBabid 02:15, 14 April 2006 (BST)
Fantastic! I'll keep that in mind as we repopulate beautiful Yagoton! And a short list of revivals?! Hot damn, it's good to have friends in the right places! Likewise for you and yours, of course.  :D --Ron Burgundy 05:02, 14 April 2006 (BST)

Aid in Yagoton

The Malton Rangers have caught wind of your situation in Yagoton, and we're chomping at the bit to help out. My question is, where/how could our efforts be focused in order to best aid the fine people of Yagoton? We're a small but highly veteran and well coordinated group, so we'd be best employed in a precise, surgical fashion. Godspeed, --Major Grippy 19:26, 9 April 2006 (BST)

Right now, the plan is to revive what we can along with the Yagoton Revivification Clinic and kill what we can along with anyone. The Shining Ones have a bunch of stragglers, who will be shot, and Yagoton has a bunch of dead residents, who will be revived. Bale Mall is a good place to find the former, Harkness Street the latter. --Ron Burgundy 05:32, 11 April 2006 (BST)

Right-O, we're on it. --Major Grippy 01:46, 13 April 2006 (BST)

Ron, I hope you see this. I have just read of your in-the-works plans to get revives up and running closer to the Havercroft/Richmond Hills battle. I am a reviver with many needles who at this point has been helping the CDF, but your plight seems more crucial. Where perchance might I best go to revive in said clinic? Cheer, --DogSoldier JI 09:42, 1 May 2006 (BST)

Drink Scotch With The Rotten Tomatoes, Ron!

Hello to all members of the Channel 4 News Team. On behalf of The Rotten Tomatoes, I'd like to extend your group an invitation to something of a minor alliance. You see, we've been attacked in recent weeks by a group you may be all too familiar with: BoSs. We're a strong and active group operating in the vicinity of the Dowdney Mall and Santlerville but lately, members of the Brotherhood of Spammers have been using guerrila tactics against us while we sleep quietly in our beds. Several of have felt the sting of this treachery. To make matters worse, in our attempts to retaliate against its members, we've drawn the scorn of other humans with the libelous accusations of PKing thrown about. Again, some of us fell due to this misunderstanding. I'm not certain what assistance your group could provide at this point but as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Our group has created an up-to-date, best intelligence group profile page of BoSs so that neither of us will be prey to their brand of evil. --The Electric Gigolo 01:19, 12 April 2006 (BST)

So they're called the "Brotherhood of Spammers," eh? I'll keep them in The News, they seem to be making their share of enemies. I updated your page about them a bit. To my knowledge, they have not attacked the Channel 4 News Team and our report was about their attacking our allies. Sorry if it was confusing, I wrote that one after a good amount of scotch. If you guys are having trouble with others thinking you're the PKers, you might do well to direct them to our wiki, for some positive press and links to where one can get a proper understanding of BoSs. Good luck and you stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 02:58, 13 April 2006 (BST)

Foul Skullduggery in Yagoton

Bad news, C4NT, from the Rangers - Our safehouse in Yagoton was compromised tonight at roughly 4:30GMT: Within 30 minutes before our planned move on Whatmore & Bale (About which some of the Rangers may have spoken a bit too loudly) our barricades (which where maxed) were cracked by a coordinated and timed zombie attack. Thankfully (perhaps almost entirely because of the coincidental timing of our own operation) we were able to entirely repulse the attack without casualty or significant injury. This does trouble me, though, as I'd previoudly been under the impression that highly organized zombie groups had largely left the area. Also, the targeted nature of the attack only serves to reinforce my concerns about zombie spies and the like - I'll be dispersing my forces to compendsate. Needless to say, this whole affair stalled our plans to reinforce the mall tonight. I hope you guys had better luck.

--Major Grippy 06:56, 13 April 2006 (BST)

Glad to hear you and yours have survived a Glorious Battle. Don't worry about rushing up to the mall, there's nothing much going on there but periodic, short break ins. It's also nice to know there are coordinated zombies in the area. For our part, the Channel 4 News Team does not ask how many, but where they are. --Ron Burgundy 21:20, 13 April 2006 (BST)


Just extending an official vote of thanks on behalf of the Malton Rangers; both generally for your well-groomed efforts defending Yagoton (and specifically for your magnanimous gesture in including a link to us over on the front of your Wiki).

In response to both of these things, I've both posted the Channel 4 News Team template on our wiki and officially instructed all Rangers to assign priority status to C4NT members for healing and revives. Should the shambling hordes of Wes Mantooth ever threaten the classy folks of C4NT, we will gladly lend a hand (or axe) in driving them back.

Carry on, newsmen.

--Major Grippy 04:35, 18 April 2006 (BST)

Sure thing, captain, and thanks for the template use! I'm sure that you're on Odin's short list for entry to Valhalla, after all the Glorious Battle we've seen in Yagoton- and hopefully there's more to come. If you guys ever need to get the word out for anything, just send me a message and I'll put it in The News. I see you folks also have a template and I'll stick it somewhere on the wiki, as soon as I figure out where to put it. Templates aren't used often enough! --Ron Burgundy 01:07, 19 April 2006 (BST)

Yet Another GKing Dickwad?

This fellow - - Destroyed the generator at the Workman today @ 11:46 BST. Since you seem to have eyes in more places than us, would you care to make it clear to this fellow that this sort of thing isn't to be tolerated? Please make note of the use of apostrophes in his name, though - Somebody may be using this character in an effort to send us after a different, non-apostrophed person.

--Major Grippy 16:55, 19 April 2006 (BST)

I'll put it in The News, but I don't want to be too reactionary, you know? The earlier guy that was reported to us had been doing it several times a day in the NT building east of Caiger Mall, just before the second siege and before Kevan started sending "x destroyed the generator" messages. Does this guy do it all the time? By the way, I've got a generator and some fuel, if you need it, but no AP to get it to ya. I'll be damned if I didn't waste all of it on spray cans and candy.  :( --Ron Burgundy 18:32, 19 April 2006 (BST)
Not for nothing, but I find it hard to trust a man who mixes apostrophes and professional wrestling so liberaly. I mean, if those two institutions of the public good aren't sacred...what is? --Barry Fisticuffs 05:12, 20 April 2006 (BST)
Is there no God, Bary Fisticuffs, is there no God? Such misguided use of the apostrophy, a most sacred institution, as you say, is surely the work of Malton's own Wes Mantooth. We must put him under the knife, if there is to be justice! Tonight's top story, the streets run red with <nowiki'The Undertaker'</nowiki>'s Blood! Gah, can't make it possessive... --Ron Burgundy 21:04, 20 April 2006 (BST)

I've only seen this guy do it the once - so I wouldn't go on a manhunt or anything - It's just a heads-up. --Major Grippy 00:38, 20 April 2006 (BST)

Cool beans! I got you the generator (I had like 10, but I think that's the last of them) and I'll keep my eyes open. --Ron Burgundy 02:44, 20 April 2006 (BST)

Dammit - He did it again! - I've sent Aurolas, Fremen, Hobbes and Aleph to find this guy and put him out of business.

Oh, BTW - FremenWarrior, one of my rangers, seems to have an alt. on board with you too; small world aint it?

--Major Grippy 05:33, 20 April 2006 (BST)

o Rly? Do you have a profile for his alt? Most of the Channel 4 News Team reporters are so deeply undercover that I don't even know where they are. Well, you know. When in Rome! As for the generator killer... there's not much you can do about him and chances are, he'll get tired of it and wander off. The suburb doesn't stand or fall on phone service, you know? --Ron Burgundy 21:04, 20 April 2006 (BST)

You're right about phone service - I've never even used mine! - So I guess I'm not going to have his children eaten or anything; still, it's a pretty audacious move doing it twice in a row right under our noses! --Major Grippy 23:17, 20 April 2006 (BST)

Correction - he just did it again! A third time! --Major Grippy 03:33, 21 April 2006 (BST)

He's probably hiding somewhere nearby. If you really want him, try spiraling out from the building. Either that or join us in another Glorious Battle, this time in (dun dun dun) Richmond Hills or maybe Havercroft! There aren't enough zombies left in Yagoton to satisfy Odin's thirst for blood. --Ron Burgundy 20:12, 21 April 2006 (BST)

Havercroft? Fantastic! The Abandoned can cope with a couple of griefers, anyway - if you're headed into Havercroft/Richmond, you'll have my Rangers. --Major Grippy 04:29, 22 April 2006 (BST)

To arms!! --Ron Burgundy 04:49, 22 April 2006 (BST)

501st Armed Division

Rex Mantooth

Ran across a fellow by the name of "Rex Mantooth" back at Workman Towers, and he asked a lot of seemingly innocent questions. Coincidence, or does Wes Mantooth have allies now? Regardless, given your organization's special relation to all things Mantooth, I thought you should be aware of this. --Major Grippy 01:48, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Innocent questions, eh? You wouldn't happen to remember any, would you? Hell, you wouldn't happen to have a profile, would you? I ran into someone named "maothezombie," the other day. His profile says, "a once living resident of Malton. now is deaded and dedicated to the destruction of Ron Burgandy and the channel 4 news team" and he is a member of the "Followers of Wes Mantooth." Thanks for the tip! Can't be too careful with Wes. --Ron Burgundy 03:26, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Well, I wasn't too concerned about getting a profile on him, as most of his questions where about what the Rangers where doing (and frankly, people could get more useful information by just looking at our Wiki) and I didn't really answer him. Also, even if he was "spying" or somesuch, it was right when we were leaving the Workman Towers, so if he does lead a group of zeds or PKers to that position, he's gonna be dissapointed. (Anyway, if he does give you any trouble, I'll be more than happy to put a bullet in him.) --Major Grippy 06:39, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Hah! Assassins all! No... I've never been one to hide behind my Righteous Army. I'll meet him in Glorious Battle, if that's what he's after! If he wants to throw down fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for him! Of course, if he's more interested in the Rangers, maybe he's Wes's estranged cousin. --Ron Burgundy 12:37, 24 April 2006 (BST)
I'll bet Wes lost money in the cutthroat world of high stakes hockey gambling. Wes's minions are a simplistic, child-like lot, so it stands to reason that when the Mantooth choked out "Bring me the New York Rangers!" from his throne of skulls and old bottles of barbeque sauce, his legions misheard and are after any kind of "Ranger", hoping they'll get lucky. --Barry Fisticuffs 17:46, 24 April 2006 (BST)
I think you're right! Watch your back, Major Grippy! --Ron Burgundy 21:16, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Fun with Forums

Driven by the twin necessities of convenient communication and security (and following the example of our friends over at the Abandoned), the Rangers now have a forum site. On behalf of the Rangers, I'd like to extend an invitation to all the members of C4NT to check it out.

Anyway, if you'd be interested, give me a buzz or just go straight to the Forum and register a user.

--Major Grippy 18:48, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Ha! Just noticed that you guys already got on the forum bandwagon as well! --Major Grippy 18:58, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Indeed so, though our little forum looks a bit sad, with seven members and three threads... Ah well, it'll grow in time. Hell, maybe I'll figure out how to use it in time! Ours isn't secure, though. I figure there's no use making sure no one infiltrates it when you don't know who is and who isn't in the News Team, to begin with.  :D --Ron Burgundy 21:19, 24 April 2006 (BST)

True that. A forum is probably the only way to operate beyond a dozen members and still have any idea what's going on. You've gotta pity the RRF! --Major Grippy 22:22, 24 April 2006 (BST)

Roachtown = Fucked

Good day, Channel 4. As you might know, the RRF's honor guard slaughtered Roachtown, after high feral activity, and the Minions passing through. Anyways, the ferals left behind a HUGE mess, with break-ins frequent, and most buildings ransacked. On behalf of the ROACH Klips I request aid from members that are not in glorious battle in Havercroft. We could use help down here, as there's plenty of glorious battle left in Roachtown, and the constant slaughter is keeping a lot of our members down. Perhaps the mere sight of Ron Burgundy's face will be enough to make the zombies run away in fear. --Flareblade77

Sorry, man, but we've got our hands full in Havercroft, at the moment. I'll post something in The News about it, though, and check back when Phase Five is over! --Ron Burgundy 02:18, 4 May 2006 (BST)

Members and Membership

Christian Bond

Good day, Mr. Burgandy. I'm a simple, lowly cameraman who was hoping to join you and your mighty Channel 4 News Team in wiping out Wes and his zombie hoarde. I'll try to aid you best I can in your recent phases of Your Cunning Plan, but unfortunatly I'm on the other side of Malton at the moment. Perhaps after helping some survivors in my area, I'll make haste to your location. I hope that's alright. --Christian Bond 20:14, 23 April 2006 (BST)

We could always use more cameramen, especially in Richmond Hills where the zombies and bears form a rival family band for OUR family band to slay! Stay Classy, welcome to the team, and may Odin help you bring Swift and Hideous Help to the survivors in your area, and may you arrive faster and deadlier than an army of Valhalla's scantily-clad valkyries!--Codename T 20:58, 23 April 2006 (BST)
Indeed so, welcome to the Channel 4 News Team, captain! Just write "Channel 4 News Team" in your profile and make sure not to touch the hair or face. We'd love to have you over in Richmond Hills, but feel free to take your time helping people in your area. The Channel 4 News Team needs eyes everywhere and would not dare rush a subrb into the deprivation of Class and Cunning. --Ron Burgundy 22:48, 23 April 2006 (BST)

Bazz Sarcophagus

Even though the pen is mightier than the sword, I stick with my trusty pistol. And pen. That's why I'm volunteering for Channel 4 News Team. So how the hell can I reach you Ron? I need a cell phone. Fast. 03:45, 15 Feb 2006 (CET) Bazz Sarcophagus

Ron Burgundy is best contacted through Conch or mobile phone. Send me your profile so I can add you to my contacts list and then we will bring Swift and Hideous Death to our foes. --Ron Burgundy 18:02, 23 February 2006 (GMT)

Chris Benoit

Mr. Burgundy- Chris Benoit, famed professional wrestler, has been eager to join your news team ever since he heard about your courageous exploits in the first Caiger Mall siege. Unfortunately, he was on the other side of Malton, perfecting his German Suplex on zombies. It's a lot harder when they might rot off in your grasp. Now that he has come to Caiger, he wants... Nay, NEEDS to assist you in your valiant struggle, and shake your hand. How can he get in touch with you? (14:17, Feb. 20, 2006)

Ron is still best contacted through Conch but also uses a mobile phone. Holy shit, I'm late for class! --Ron Burgundy 18:02, 23 February 2006 (GMT)

Philip Spainhour

Monsieur Burgundy - While my usual self, Major Grippy, is duly occupied leading the intrepid Malton Rangers; I offer to you the services of my faithful Alt. and Sidekick: Philip Spainhour in your struggles against the undead menace. He may be a zombie right now, but couldn't C4NT use an undead reporter anyway? (You know, to cover all those stories with "Mrh?" in them.)

Also, could I get a link to your profile? This damned shell keeps cutting my lip.

--Major Grippy 02:10, 13 April 2006 (BST)

By the Staff of Ra, a man with more than one self!! And a zombie to boot! That's just the sort of guy we need on the Channel 4 News Team; a guy with a . Send me your location and I'll get you a revive, if you like (I'm around Bale Mall). Either way is fine. Anyhow, welcome to Odin's light and hopefully we will see you in Glorious Battle and again in Valhalla. My profile is right here [2], by the way. As for reporting in Zombie...ese, it's a good idea, so long as it's in Dactylic Hexameter (it's sorta tough in English, you know?). --Ron Burgundy 02:43, 13 April 2006 (BST)
Report in Dactyllic Hexameter? You just challenged the wrong Classics Major! You're on!

I'll shuffle my way on up to your position, although I'll have to be careful not to go too near my other glorious persona and irk the powers that be.

--Major Grippy 07:06, 13 April 2006 (BST)

Help, please

On my trek over to Bale Mall, I was knocked unconcious. When I woke up, I found myself a hideous zombie. If you could spare a syringe, I am standing outside St. Spryridon's church. What I look like --mikm W! 04:33, 3 April 2006 (BST)

I'll put the word out, but right now, I have no revives. I'll do what I can when I have the AP and can find a powered NT- oh, wait! I have a power generator and fuel! You stay... well... you'll be Classy again damn soon! --Ron Burgundy 05:56, 3 April 2006 (BST)

Help On The Homefront!

Greetings, Papa Burgundy. I am a reporter-ish type, hailing from Heytown (you may know it as the island of a certain pirate hooker) and looking for some Glorious Battle. (my profile can be located here [3]) I and my little hombre, The Chemist ([4]) recently arrived upon your declaration of Glorious Battle on The Shining Ones, only we don't know where to go in order to follow Ron "The Balls" Burgundy into Odin's light. As such, we have been camping out at the glorious St. Izzy's, keeping it out of Wes Mantooth's hands, and let me just say that yesterday, things got out of hand. No less than three invasions of our privacy. Knights of Colombus are we thankful that they didn't bring any bears... ANYWAY, we wait for your Glorious Dactylic Hexameteric Orders, sir.--The Man Called T 15 April 2006, 18:48 (BST I believe)

By the Gods, is there still a smell of Desire hanging in the air about St. Isidore's Church?! Never fear, friend, if Wes Mantooth still stalks Odin's Holy Sanctum, then those within are very near to Valhalla- especially when there may be bears in the area! I'm sure all the friends and members of the Channel 4 News Team therein stayed Classy throughout the invasion and devoured the hearts of the fallen afterward. As for me, the Glorious Battle with The Shining Ones has taken most members of the Channel 4 News Team to Yagoton, where most of us are camped in and around Bale Mall. True, the horde has moved on, but we've stayed behind, at the behest of local groups, to help them rebuild. The task is almost complete. Soon, there will be another Glorious Battle in Phase Five of Our Cunning Plan, which is- you heard it here first- probably going to be in Barrville. The RRF want to expand, but they are our old foes from the first Siege of Caiger Mall- and Odin demands blood. So, be it looking for bears in St. Izzy's, rebuilding Yagoton, or scouting out Barrville, you stay Classy. You stay Classy and soon we'll be drinking Mead with the Gods. --Ron Burgundy 21:36, 15 April 2006 (BST)
By Odin's raven they did it again! I'm doing my very best to keep those Spanish-speaking bear-hugging Mantoothians from taking St. Izzy's, and you can be sure I will keep you updated on the latest as developments occur. I will just say this: the classy churchgoers deserve medals or Grammies or something, for they walk in Odin's light and form a family band of zed-slaying. Thus, it shall be my task to keep Our Glorious Revive Point out of zombie hands. Stay Classy and may Odin help you bring Swift and Hideous Death to Wes Mantooth and his Evening News Team... for Phrase Five!--The Man Called T 21:48, 15 April 2006 (BST [Best Standard Time (Ever)])
Yes, St. Izzy's is our old home and we take incursions by Wes Mantooth very seriously! For my part, I'll keep the ongoings of St. Izzy's in The News. As for the many churchgoers at St. Izzy's, they, to be sure, will drink the blood of their foes in Malton and the Mead of the Gods in Valhalla. --Ron Burgundy 22:18, 15 April 2006 (BST)
EDIT: [5] It appears that they are attempting to open Our Glorious Revive Point to the undead, furry tractor-riding hordes... shall I assemble some of the Team to keep St. Izzy's out of Wes Mantooth's flesh-rendering hands, oh Classy leader?--The Man Called T 22:19, 15 April 2006 (BST)
By the Gods, such atrocities! St. Isidore's Church has always been a not-so-safe-house for all of Odin's Children who happen to lack free running. Where are they to stay in a heavily barricaded suburb like Darvall Heights? Why not just revive zombies outside St. Izzy's, as the Odin intended? Such absurdity! There's no way to establish a revive point inside a building because most people won't know about it and will end up throwing more plastic trees in the barricade. Odin wills, I believe, that those 'cades be kept. --Ron Burgundy 23:24, 15 April 2006 (BST)
Odin's will be done. Any who enter St. Izzy's of the undead persuasion shall be treated to a Swift and Hideous Headshot. The 'cades shall be kept, even though we will face some interference from misguided allies... by the gods we shall keep them up. I will do our glorious News Team honor, for sure. Stay classy, Papa Burgundy... I think I hear a bear outside. --The Man Called T 23:44, 15 April 2006 (BST)
Potentially Useful Link
Seems as though people care enough to vote on it. (I'm the guy who voted "Disagree," BTW, for essentially the same reasons that Ron stated.) --Specialist290 03:01, 16 April 2006 (BST)
Yeah... it's the CMS-Meta that is trying this... though they ALSO wish to weaken the barricades at a corner of Caiger. Now, I might be alone here, but I'm gonna throw this out... if you like it okay, if you don't, just throw it back... that's retarded. How about we go into THEIR headquarters and let the Rotters in?!?! Because if that's how they roll, they need a smack upside the head. --The Man Called T 03:33, 16 April 2006 (BST)
Great link! What a story, as it were. I'm a bit drunk, but I wrote them a reply on their forum and updated me the wiki with what ammounts to the same text. Thanks a bunch and it's nice to see people working together for Odin's love! --Ron Burgundy 06:14, 16 April 2006 (BST)
My Reaction To Another Zombie Invasion As I Slept
As of right now this reporter is in Caiger, restocking and preparing for the 19th. St. Isidore might BE a zombie, but that doesn't mean he wants zombies in HIS and ODIN'S Holy Sanctum! As such, I am going to dig my heels in the blessed ground and hope that Odin's light can guide me to victory, or to Valhalla. Such shall be my quest, for when they bring in zombies, they bring in the mighty Wes Mantooth, and when they bring Wes Mantooth, they bring in bears. And we all know that they're rather larger up close. --The Man Called T 16:13, 16 April 2006 (BST)
EDIT: These attacks continue every other hour at least... the zone is too hot already with hostile Mantoothians to open up St. Izzy's to the zombies of Malton. As I speak no less than five zombies are currently in Odin's Holy Sanctum, gnawing at us... good thing this is a revive zone because things are escalating pretty fast! This then shall be the goal of We Protectors of Odin's Holy Sanctum: keep the barricades up for all the good little children of Odin and keep the zeds out. I'm too rushed to figure out the time, as I have a zed with my pistol's name on it.... BAXTER. Stay Classy Papa Burgundy and all, I near Valhalla. -T
By the Gods, where are all these zombies coming from?! Have the Caigers sent help? Gah! There's no time! Go forth and bring Swift and Hideous Death to your foes and remember, remember T, that Odin is the God of War! Keep an eye toward the heavens for he and his eight-legged steed. --Ron Burgundy 20:12, 17 April 2006 (BST)
Right now, my little hombre, The Chemist (I linked his profile up above) lies dead outside St. Izzy's, after he brought Swift and Hideous Death to some zombies who had invaded, and awaits a glorious return from Valhalla so that he can become an even greater warrior than he was before. The churchgoers still refuse to leave, and stand strong as I speak, though I have ducked to Caiger to find reinforcements and to restock in preparation to accompany Odin and his eight-legged steed into war on the 19th. I shall slay in the name of Odin, Ron Burgundy, and the Glorious Channel 4 News Team. You stay Classy, Ron... I know I will as I face the bears of Wes Mantooth. I will hear the lamentations of his women as I charge into Glorious Battle. -T, 21:23, 17 April 2006 (BST)
I put something about it in "Breaking News." It shouldn't be long before someone from Caiger takes it upon himself to return you to the world of the living. Content yourself with a goodly amount of Valhalla's famous Mead, for a while, and Resurrection will be yours! Of course, if it isn't quick in coming, I've got a revive or two up my sleeve! --Ron Burgundy 22:22, 17 April 2006 (BST)
The Chemist is back to his old self and about ready to become a greater warrior. He thanks you and Odin, as he returns from Valhalla. -T, 00:32, 17 April 2006
Righto, tell me next time anything interesting happens at St. Izzy's! --Ron Burgundy 03:59, 18 April 2006 (BST)
As you can see on the forums, I'm trying to strike a bit of a deal with them. I believe negotiations are still open, and I'm hoping that things really won't escalate fast... I offered our aid if they left Odin's Holy Sanctum alone, by informing less-experienced players that they wait within breaths of Valhalla at their own risk, because St. Izzy's is the most contested not-so-safehouse ever! I'm thinking they might move their open revive point to one of the adjacent buildings. Their names escape me so I don't really care. I'll bring more info as more info comes to me. Stay Classy! --T 17:53, 18 April 2006
Victory, thy name is Odin! It appears that, after discussions with them on the forum, that Operation Open Izzy isn't happening! Happy April 19th everyone! Instead, Yeandill (or whatever the name is) Towers is going to be looked into for opening! Since it's already in our revive zone, it doesn't really matter. But the good news is Our Glorious Hideout remains in Odin's light! --T, 00:30 19 April 2006
Praise be to Odin! Next time I see you in Valhalla, I'll buy you some Mead. There will be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises! And then St. Izzy's family band will tour the countryside! --Ron Burgundy 01:21, 19 April 2006 (BST)

My Fist For Bergundy!

Hi, sir! My name is Barry Fisticuffs and my beard's name is Ryan. We were wandering around as gentlemen of leisure, beating up the undead and learning the true meaning of Christmas, but then I remembered that I needed to eat food! Since you can't get steady work in a zombie wasteland without a college degree, I thought a career in journalism would be just the ticket. Unfortunately, Public Television didn't have any openings, and I dispared until I found your dread legion. In conclusion, I type fourty words per minute, and once outwitted a bear in a game of chess. How can those like me best help the cause? --Barry Fisticuffs

To help us put Wes Mantooth under the knife, all you need to do is seek him out during a Glorious Battle wherein there are neither commercials nor mercy. Of course, Wes Mantooth is very elusive, so you'll need to sacrifice many zombies to Odin, in hopes of being guided by His divine hand. Other than that, just write "Channel 4 News Team" in your profile and you'll be counted on the stats page[6]. You could follow Our Cunning Plan, if you like, but that's pretty much just a suggestion, as the Channel 4 News Team maintains undercover reporters throughout Malton, so as to keep it as Classy as possible. --Ron Burgundy 20:12, 17 April 2006 (BST)
Whoops, I see you've already added it! The template, too, how Classy. My profile is [7] and if you've ever got a news story, don't hesitate to post it here, on the TelePrompter.  :D --Ron Burgundy 20:19, 17 April 2006 (BST)
Groovy, mighty Tsar. I'm already in Yagoton, so I figure I can continue being in Yagoton, hitting things in the name of journalistic integrity. Plus Odin. --Barry Fisticuffs
Right-o, captain! But keep in mind that we're probably going to be balling the jack right on out of Yagoton as soon as our work there is done (which should be soon enough). We may end up bringing Odin's light to Barrville! --Ron Burgundy 00:16, 18 April 2006 (BST)
Gotchya. I'll keep watching the news for when we're going to start ambling towards there and information like that. Thanks! --Barry

Phase Five: Richmond Hills

Yessir, me again. The situation at St. Izzy's has of course died down and I find myself thirsting for Glorious Battle, and I mean real actual Glorious Battle such that when in Rome.... I think I got it right this time... Anyway, I saw the newest addition to Our Cunning Plan and exclaimed "Sweet Lincoln's mullet! I'm in the wrong place!" So, as is my wont as a fanatical member of the Team, I shall soon leave for Richmond Hills, perhaps arriving before the Team, where I shall engage in Glorious Battle and bring Swift and Hideous Death to Wes Mantooth's zombies and bears. There aren't any bears at home anymore, and this is a sign of relief. So, I shall go to Richmond Hills, spreading Odin's word, bringing Swift and Hideous Death to the Mantoothian enemies, bringing Class to the til-now forgotten citizens of Richmond Hills, and showing ALL how good I look. I look forward to meeting Papa Burgundy and the rest of the team in Glorious Battle, unless it is my destiny to join Odin in Valhalla. --The Man Called T 18:07, 21 April 2006 (BST)

Fantastic! I just ran a quick sortie through the area and boy, is it ever ripe for the pickin'! Zombies everywhere, barricades nowhere. I suggest staying on the edge of the suburbs, as even East Becktown has some overflow. Remember, stay in low key buildings and keep them and those around them extremely heavily barricaded, so you blend in. Don't bother entering into Glorious Battle with the zombies outside, as there are more than enough to please Odin inside! We will barricade up the edge of the suburb and move slowly inward- or maybe we'll find that it's entirely too much for us and get stuck on the edge! Either way, there will be Glorious Battle aplenty! --Ron Burgundy 20:20, 21 April 2006 (BST)
I have a group of four Team members coming to the Hills with me... we'll take a command post in the northwest corner of Richmond Hills, keep a small fortress going with the amount of buildings and junkyards in there... perhaps we could get a network going that connects to your part of the Hills? --Codename T, signing out from East Becktown/Richmond Hills border
I was thinking the same thing myself. That's a good place to start! We've got the Malton Rangers on the way to lend a hand, too. I'd join you guys, but spreading out is crucial. Can't put all your eggs in one basket, you know? --Ron Burgundy 04:48, 22 April 2006 (BST)
Yessir... we'll stick with taking the northwest corner, and then spread out so that the whole of the west is Classy. The abundance of streets, wastelands, and other such empty spots make barricading runs a little easier, if not making the suburb a little trickier to navigate. Maybe one of us will find a suit store we can celebrate at once the suburb is taken. ;-) Stay Classy as always Papa Burgundy. --Codename T, currently coordinating the Invasion of Richmond Hills (if ya know what I mean)
PS We attack at midnight BST tomorrow... that is, in about eighteen and a half hours
I'll be sure to mark some time off from the pledge drive for the rumble. Though, if you're interested in a handsome tote bag... --Barry Fisticuffs 06:50, 22 April 2006 (BST)
MMMMMFF, I feel the strength of Odin flowing through my veins! This is gonna be awesome. I'm gonna straight up murder so many zombies. --Ron Burgundy 08:49, 22 April 2006 (BST)
Papa Burgundy, I'm here asking you for reinforcements. I'm stuck, alone, in the Giffard Arms and the junkyard north of it. I'm in some need of reinforcements, seeing as how I was forced here by a zombie attack on the borders. My crew is safe further in East Becktown, but I'm still kind of alone... any Team members in the vicinity? --Codename T, currently eating a steak in the Giffard Arms
An update: everything appears to be fine... for now. Either this suburb isn't as "controlled" by zeds as we previously thought, or they're all sleeping. I think I'll be fine just waiting here, fashioning a sculpture of myself riding a bear out of the junk in the junkyard. My team will be along eventually, and then we'll show the zombies of Richmond Hills how good we look.--Codename T, figuring out how to sculpt a bear out of junk
Righto, captain! Glad to hear you're safe. You might want to try not being too specific about where you are; Wes Mantooth has eyes everywhere! I'm near the phone mast and things look pretty calm. There are zombies in nearly every building, but that's about to change! --Ron Burgundy 20:32, 22 April 2006 (BST)
I've done some scouting of my area and this won't be that bad... as you said, everything is calm. A question, though, has the entire Team arrived or are we doing this mostly by ourselves in all this so far?--Codename T, currently out at a nice seafood dinner with Wes' mother Dorothy Mantooth (and NEVER going to call her again)
I don't really know where the rest of the News Team is and we're not exactly an organized group. When we moved to Bale Mall, I saw quite a few people and sent out the call to battle through the same means. Presumably, the same should follow this time, but I can't be sure. If it helps, the wiki page has had a few hundred hits, membership has gone up by a bit since Phase Five was announced, and the Malton Rangers and The Corleone Family say they will be on their way shortly. --Ron Burgundy 01:41, 23 April 2006 (BST)
Lookie what I found. [[8]] Seems some zombies might be going after Caiger soon, or they might not. It's worth bringing up, though, even if the idea doesn't get off of the ground. This could still be a cause for concern all over the place... Glorious Battle could be coming to Caiger once more. --Codename T, sleeping on the floor after straight-up murdering a zombie
Gah! Another Caiger? You'd think these things would come once every few minutes and go nowhere. Thanks and I'll keep my eye on it. This might draw zombies away from Richmond Hills and Havercroft... then again, it might draw us away, too! --Ron Burgundy 22:43, 23 April 2006 (BST)
I thought you also might like to know that our freshly instated YRC field medic and Caiger Mall Survivor Darrien Creek has been spotted in your 'Bear Pit' at Ackland Mall. He's currently admist the undead, spreading infection and attracting grizzlies. If revived, I'm sure he'd be more than willing to help you in any local operations C4NT has running in the area. --MorthBabid 23:15, 3 May 2006 (BST)
I'll inform the men! Thanks a bunch. I've been keeping an eye out for him, but this is the first I've heard. We'll see if I have extra AP tomorrow- and if I'm still alive. --Ron Burgundy 02:20, 4 May 2006 (BST)

The TelePrompter (News and Reports)

CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM: urgent news footage delivery

IC: A little street urchin kid handed off a videotape of a human-on-human murder, with a scrawled note: please report this! OOC: The tape shows: this guy killing me.

RivalFlux - Level 5 Military

Joined: 2005-12-01 11:35:46

RivalFlux UD Profile

He killed me in my sleep at the Retallick Walk Police Dept in the Millen Hills suburb [54, 15] on 12-11 03:41 GMT.

Mr. Burgundy and associates, if any of your viewers are Bounty Hunters, please show them especially. I would greatly appreciate it. Please let other survivors know they should look out for this guy. Kill him if he enters your building unless you want to wake up dead.

Oh, and what's with female anchors, anyways? Keep up the excellent coverage.

RivalFlux PK Image

-- Clay 07:52, 12 Dec 2005 (GMT)

Thy will be done. -The Ron

Generator-Killing Dickwad Wanted Dead or Alive

Turlow has admitted to being one of of the idiots who has been destroying our generator. Exclusive footage of the heinous crime --Mikm 00:28, 27 Jan 2006 (GMT)

We will drive him before us and hear the lamentation of his women. --Ron Burgundy 21:42, 23 February 2006 (GMT)

The Dead Walk!

So, yeah. I'm in the area of our still-dead comrade Johnny, and I should have enough AP to revive him this afternoon. I'm a little new at this raising the dead thing, having learned mad science from a bunch of brochures I found in one of the old NecroTech buildings, so is there anything I'm forgetting to do becides find the guy? --Barry Fisticuffs 16:07, 20 April 2006 (BST)

Here's the procedure: First, you've got to find him (if there are other zombies around, you can select him specifically if you've got him in your contacts list). Second, you need the skill to use the revives (Lab Experience and NecroTech Employment). Third, you need the revive! Fourth, he needs to be a standing zombie, not a dead one. Fifth, you need 10 AP to use the needle. Good luck, and it's nice to see News Team members working together! If you don't have the skills, I can do it, but I just can't seem to spot him while he's standing, dammit. --Ron Burgundy 21:12, 20 April 2006 (BST)
Does he know he needs to stand? He's been a "civilian" the whole time he's been on my contacts list. That might explain the trouble finding the guy. And, hey, helping out is the Classy thing to do, y'know? I've got everything but the AP, so I'll try again later tonight or tomorrow. --Barry Fisticuffs 22:08, 20 April 2006 (BST)
He lives! Were you the one who finally did it? --Ron Burgundy 20:09, 21 April 2006 (BST)
Nope, I saw him today though. I also saw this clowndestroying the generator, but I'm just in public television, and your crazy "screenshot" technology is beyond me. Lot of strategic generator breaking going on. --Barry Fisticuffs 21:26, 21 April 2006 (BST)
Yeah, I saw that guy wandering around, too. I think generators seem to be broken more often because the horde is gone. That is to say, there are generators around to be broken. Doesn't seem like a strategy- but it might be! Stay Vigilant! It would be a damn shame to have to abandon Phase Five and rebuild Yagoton again. --Ron Burgundy 01:03, 22 April 2006 (BST)
I think we should give this a day or two, to be sure its not just luck or a concidence, but check this out. Standing Zombies outnumber Standing Survivors. It this is stable, I think that's the first time in the game this has happened. Dunno what to make of it, but if anyone should be reporting this, I figure it should be the News Team. Who else would look so damn good? --Barry Fisticuffs 17:59, 24 April 2006 (BST)
Yeah, I saw that! It's been fluctuating between 49/51 and 51/49 for a few days, I think. It'll be interesting to see what happens next time there's a siege at Caiger and everyone makes new characters! There's also a page that has been collecting all the stats and graphing it. I can't remember the URL, though... --Ron Burgundy 21:28, 24 April 2006 (BST)
Wait, here it is! [9] --Ron Burgundy 21:48, 24 April 2006 (BST)

East Becktown Situation

It is indeed a zombie free-for-all down there, mostly fallout from the curious feeding behaviors on the failed second 'seige' on Caiger Mall. I had an old ex-patient of mine keeping the NecroNet running in the area and trying to cure as many as he could, but I'm afraid that Darrien Creek hasn't filed a report or sent in any NecroNet logs in weeks. Keep an eye out for him if your crew heads into the area, I'm sure he'll lend a hand. Just keep an ear out for someone with a speech impediment. --MorthBabid 00:09, 22 April 2006 (BST)

I'll keep on the lookout for him. At the moment, I'm in central Richmond Hills, trying to make sure mine isn't the only building with a barricade. You folks keep it Classy in Yagoton! Can't be letting Valhalla fill up, you know? --Ron Burgundy 01:06, 22 April 2006 (BST)


Congratulatory Stuff (Thanks, I do what I can!)

  • Nice Picture.--Chanb 20:36, 25 Nov 2005 (GMT)
  • Indeed. --Flaunted 17:01, 28 Nov 2005 (GMT)
  • Heh... a news team in business suits wielding spears. --ALIENwolve 20:24, 29 Nov 2005 (GMT)
  • By the way, ALIENwolve didn't know it was from Anchorman until I told him on MSN...retard. --AssaultLord 16:22, 12 Jan 2006 (GMT)
  • omg thanks so much i atualy craped myself laughing, LOL!!!! omg

I love lamp.

Receiving a mentioning in the C4NT wiki is an honor not even the voluptious valkyries of Valhalla could forsee.  :) --OedipaMaas 01:27, 13 March 2006 (GMT)

If Dave were here, he'd say you got "scene points." --Ron Burgundy 20:24, 13 March 2006 (GMT)

Is Ron Ok?

A while back I was wandering outside Caiger Mall and saw a horrific sight: our founder Ron Burgandy walking amidst the living dead. Ron! Have you come back to us? Malton needs your crisp locution and no holds reporting! If not I have some syringes ready and waiting! Does anyone know his status? --Jon Pyre 18:14, 21 February 2006 (GMT)

Yeah, there are some people who have been PKing me. I stuck something about one of them in The News as well as posting it on the Caiger Mall Survivors PK list. I just ignored the other guy because I found out full of Scotch and didn't bother taking a screen shot. But that's okay, it gives me a reason to use the "Milk was a bad choice" line. Also, the Good Citizens of Malton seem to be more than happy to revive me and when I'm put under the knife in Glorious Battle, I tend to revived later that day. Clearly, friends of the Channel 4 News Team abound- and other members should capitalize on that! If you are a friend or member of the Channel 4 News Team and you find yourself shambling among the Hideous Undead (an affront to Odin, to be sure!), feel free to post something about it in The News! --Ron Burgundy 17:40, 23 February 2006 (GMT)

Re: The Ackbar picture

Hey, I thought that picture would be deleted as vandalization within minutes. But I shouldn't have been surprised that you guys have more sense of humor than that, heh. Glad you decided to keep it! --IQpierce 17:08, 22 March 2006 (GMT)

I'll keep it until I delete the whole story, which should be soon enough, what with The Shining Ones and the whole "Mall Tour '06 isn't exactly organized" thing. Stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 20:13, 22 March 2006 (GMT)


Does anyone else like the fact that I not being a member of the chanel 4 news team could, without concequence change the entire layout of this profile and otherwise defame and attack this fine organization...not that I would do something like that. I just happened to be here when the thought struck me. Bradwerd

Reckon that's how wikis work, captain! Luckily, everyone knows I would never say "fuck" on the air! --Ron Burgundy 03:34, 4 April 2006 (BST)

Wes Mantooth(??) at St. Isidore's Church

This experiment in Open Revive Points, Operation Open Izzy that CMS-Meta is undertaking seems to work all over Malton, so we cant imagine it wouldn't work here. I understand your worries but we'd like to ask you to support this. Give us the opportunity to show you that it does indeed work. And if it fails, it's back to the drawing board. We feel too many survivors are needlesly killed there the last few weeks. I also reacted on the stuff you left on the CMS Board, we might continue the discussion there.--Vykos 12:35, 16 April 2006 (BST)

Begging the pardon of the honorable Vykos, but we were attacked again last night by a foul zombie incursion. I scanned what subjects I could yesterday, and while I couldn't scan all (the priority being, of course, keeping them out with new barricades and kicking these ones out) a grand majority of Rotters were among those zombies that came into St. Izzy's. Now, this could just be me, but I'm fairly certain churches don't have Necronet Access. If you open up those barricades, the children of Malton will never grow to form a family band, as they will stumble into St. Isidore's (a fairly well-known not-so-safehouse for those who can't Free Run) and be SLAUGHTERED by the waiting horde. This is exactly what zombie warlords like Xyu and Wes Mantooth want.--The Man Called T 16:02, 16 April 2006 (BST)
I realize that "Operation Open Izzy" is well intentioned, but I just don't think it will work at St. Isidore's Church because of the nature of the people within. They say, "the survivor of St. Izzy's likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner." The survivors ain't leavin', and if you want proof of this, I offer the fact that St. Izzy's was and is a scene of perpetual battle- and still its worshipers remain, sleeping within a few breaths of Valhalla when they could just as easily move out of harm's way! Furthermore, and this is reproduced from your forum, if you do open St. Isidore's Church, then what of the character? What of the Wild West of Caiger Mall, where headshots and revives go hand in hand and where survivors with free running wait, in one of the most contested buildings in Darvall Heights, in hopes of watching Odin ride his eight legged steed into battle? Call me sentimental, but I love St. Isidore's Church because it is the most disfunctional revive zone and not-so-safe house in Malton! Things don't work there- and it's beautiful. --Ron Burgundy 19:30, 16 April 2006 (BST)

Friends and Allies

Dunell Hills Police Department

Channel 4 News Team: your friends at the DHPD have received your call for revive assitance near Ackland Mall. We're giving notice that we are sending a team to help. We've got a few problems we're dealing with on out home turf right now, but nothing where we can't spare some officers for our allies at C4NT. --PsychoPhil 05:26, 14 October 2006 (BST)

  • Just an update here. The revive point near Ackland is clogged with rotters and career zeds. Without a list of profiles that are safe to revive, this point is nearly unworkable. We're doing our best but we're burning valuable AP sorting out the rotters and career from the legitimate revive targets. --PsychoPhil 20:53, 16 October 2006 (BST)

Revives in Ridley?

Darrien Creek seems back on his feet due to the work of some rather grim-faced and well-trained...librarians. Check out the Quartly Study Group, they seem to be doing on-the-spot revivifications via expert use of their DNA Extractors. Maybe you guys can work something out? --MorthBabid 19:32, 15 August 2006 (BST)

Brain Rot Revive Clinic welcomes you to South Blythville

Hi, just saw that you folks were heading down here to help revive/rebarricade the suburb, and wanted to drop a quick note to advise you: please don't get all excited and barricade the Pippard Building (29, 72). We do brain rot revives in there and it's really irritating to have to break down barricades every day. There's another NT building only 3 AP away (the Preston Building), and two more in the suburb. Thanks for your consideration. --Karen Eliot 03:31, 1 August 2006 (BST)

I'll make sure people read about it. Thanks for the heads up! --Ron Burgundy 21:51, 2 August 2006 (BST)

just wanted to know if youll be helping us at Hildebrand mall we need all the help we can get Blazefire 07:42, 20 July 2006 (BST)

I've actually got an alt at Hildebrand Mall right now. If you don't get that corner barricaded, things it looks like you guys are out of luck. For the moment, I think the News Team is a bit too dead to help with any large scale mall sieges- especially with the problems of ransack and feeding drag. Sorry I can't be of more help. --Ron Burgundy 02:38, 21 July 2006 (BST)

An invitation

Greetings! I would like to say "ahoy" and let you know that you're all welcome to visit Gilganixon's Discount Junkyard of Crazy Savings in scenic Richmond Hills, Malton (34,35 - just a block South East of the Wood Grove Fire Station) . A couple of your people came round last month to enjoy the immense savings and meet their need to fossick through mountains of garbage for unloaded pistols and lead pipes, and they're more than welcome to return any old time. It's one of the safest spots in the city and ideal for laying low, hiding out and generally crouching in the dark. Open 24 hours! Praise "Bob" and pass the hand grenades, friends!

Gilganixon June 25, 2006


  • I'll probably mention this on the C4NT radio frequency in some form or another, but I'd just like to remind many people who fight in Central Malton: Caiger Mall was there. Not just in spirit, but in body. Once humble shoppers honed their skills in the fertile plains of Caiger Mall, a haven of humanity, and when they heard the distant conch ring forth? They rose as one and cried "They told me, Ridleybank, they told me you were dead!" and set onward into Glorious Battle. My own kinsman Darrien Creek went from an overweight stuttering fatboy into a overweight stuttering fat MAN...Of Science, all thanks to the hard-fought place of Caiger Mall he soon learned to call home. And he was there at Blackmore, my friends, he was there! And though he may be lost to the horde, his speech-impedimented spirit is with you. And so is Yagoton...and so is Caiger Mall. --MorthBabid 17:48, 20 October 2006 (BST)

Roachtown = Fucked

Good day, Channel 4. As you might know, the RRF's honor guard slaughtered Roachtown, after high feral activity, and the Minions passing through. Anyways, the ferals left behind a HUGE mess, with break-ins frequent, and most buildings ransacked. On behalf of the ROACH Klips I request aid from members that are not in glorious battle in Havercroft. We could use help down here, as there's plenty of glorious battle left in Roachtown, and the constant slaughter is keeping a lot of our members down. Perhaps the mere sight of Ron Burgundy's face will be enough to make the zombies run away in fear. --Flareblade77

  • Sorry, man, but we've got our hands full in Havercroft, at the moment. I'll post something in The News about it, though, and check back when Phase Five is over! --Ron Burgundy 02:18, 4 May 2006 (BST)
  • Thanks anyways. We're starting to improve the situation. Good luck against the zombies, and give Wes Mantooth a piercing trident blow for me. I'll post again after phase 5 is completed. --Flareblade77 02:49, 6 May 2006 (EST)
    • HahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was me and the Packers. The world, she is small and full of such tender flesh. --Undeadinator 02:24, 8 May 2006 (BST)
      • Well, it's been over a month since my last post here, heh. The situation has gotten a bit better, although the zeds still control our Necrotechs, and most of the suburb.. Perhaps the glorious battle in Ridleybank and Barrville will draw off some of the ferals. Good luck, Mr. Burgundy. --Flareblade77 00:35, 9 June 2006 (BST)

Justice Inc with Revives in Havercroft

Ron, I hope you see this. I have just read of your in-the-works plans to get revives up and running closer to the Havercroft/Richmond Hills battle. I am a reviver with many needles who at this point has been helping the CDF, but your plight seems more crucial. Where perchance might I best go to revive in said clinic? Cheer, --DogSoldier JI 09:42, 1 May 2006 (BST)

  • Reckon there's a reply on the userpage! --Ron Burgundy 02:29, 4 May 2006 (BST)

Chi Vai Hunters on Dunell Hills

Sorry for the late reply. We're honored that you noticed our participation in the past siege, and being asked to help out again. But sadly, we're currently in the middle of things at Dunell Hills. We're helping out in securing a stable revivification line and barricading the few remaining safe houses. Perhaps when this is all over we'd be able to help. Til then, good luck and may the Chi Vais help you on your endeavors.  :-) ToRsO_bOy May 5, 2006

  • Dunell Hills, eh? That's great! There are some good people over there. Glad our old buddies of Phase Four aren't being left alone. Tell the DHPD we send our best! As for helping out later, we'd be glad to have it at any time. The Channel 4 News Team is a mobile force and we don't intend to make of Ackland Mall a Channel 4 News Station. Of course, we can't very well just abandon the spolis of war, can we? Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. You stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 02:21, 6 May 2006 (BST)
  • Hey you guys still in Ackland Mall? Our group's done with Dunell Hills and enroute to Ackland Mall.  ;) ToRsO_bOy June 1, 2006
  • Yeah, we're still in Ackland! Things have gotten bad again, since the RRF and DOA moved in. There were 160 zombies a week or so ago, then it dropped to 80, now it's on the rise again. I'm not sure what the second rise is about, but it's nothing but more opportunity for Glorious Battle for the likes of us! --Ron Burgundy 18:25, 2 June 2006 (BST)
  • Vaihah. That's certainly good news. Wouldn't want to get bored after our exciting stay at Dunell Hills. We'll be setting up shop at the NW section of the mall. See yah there mate. ToRsO_bOy June 3, 2006

A Message from The Malton Mafia

Our scouting wing is currently exploring the ransacked mess that is West Grayside, with a view to colonise the mall/stadium area and revitalise legitimate business in that region. We would be very grateful for any help you could offer in this venture, and as our trusted allies, we hope you will consider this truly classy business opportunity. Varez 09:32, 2 July 2006 (BST)

A Message from The Abandoned

Hello! As you may know, many organized groups have their UDTool lists. So does The Abandoned, and since I'm the maintainer of our list, I've recently saw that your group is not included in it. This meant one thing: that The Abandoned and the C4NT are not allied. I think that it would be beneficial to both groups if we were allied, in case you or us needed help fighting against zombie hordes (since both groups have a large number of members). What do you think? (you may contact us on our wiki talk page or on our forum)
Eargerly waiting reply. --Abi79 AB 11:56, 7 July 2006 (BST)

Legal Support?

To whom it may concern:

Dear Channel 4 News Team

I represent H.P and Blisko, an honest law firm located in Malton. I note that your News Channel contains no legal information? I wish to be the first to ask for your patronage in legal matters, zombie related or otherwise. We have, in the past, been involved in many high-profile cases, including the recent legal struggle of Evans vs. Braaaanghzargh! (In which we successfully defended Mr. Braaaanghzargh! from a hate-related attack from Evans, due to his "zombie" status.) Even through the recent spate of zombism amongst Malton's citizens has led to recklessness amongst some of it's inhabitants, Zombie or otherwise, the laws of this country must be upheld. Please consider us for your legal needs, for we believe that we can make a difference. If you feel the need to respond to this message, contact us at, or merely reply to this message in any way you, or any other prospective clients, see fit.

Yours classily, Mr Harold Peterson (H.P.), H.P. & Blisko.

PS. I am sorry for the brevity of this message, a rather pallid looking man seems to have entered our current building of residence. I feel it is my duty to inquire as to his needs.

Members and Membership

News and Reports

Suggestion: Add a transmission timestamp

With radios taking up 5 inventory slots a-piece, it's nice to know which channels are active - because no one could monitor them all. I'd like to propose that you guys show just how active your channel is (that was, at one time, the point of this article - right?) by making a new section in the article where the timestamp of every official broadcast is listed (for, say, 2 weeks then deleted). It would give those of us with only one or two radios an idea of if we should tune in to you guys or not - because most of the channels on the radio page aren't as useful as I'd hoped. -Arthur toafk 09:16, 07 Aug 2006 (EST))


Something for the Ronmeister's attention:


As I like to say, "Forewarned is forearmed." Spread the word so we can stop this in its tracks. --Specialist290 21:19, 9 May 2006 (BST)

  • Nah, don't worry about it. You're the Channel 4 News Team! Everyone knows you guys. I know that I won't be attacking any of you. In fact, I'll see if I can pass that along as policy for the rest of the Philosophe Knights...
  • Plus, how the hell do you plan to "stop this thing in its tracks?" People get PKed daily, PK Day or not.--Wifey 02:00, 10 May 2006 (BST)
    • True. Maybe, "develop suitable countermeasures" would be a better term :)
      • The above was written but unsigned by Specialist290, I wrote this little comment here to prevent confusion without faking a signature.  :) --Ron Burgundy 22:21, 11 May 2006 (BST)
    • It's good to be loved! --Ron Burgundy 03:19, 10 May 2006 (BST)
      • We'd stop it the same way a man with a mission stops any nogoodnikery! Overzealous violence, binge drinking, splurging pistol clip money on new suits, and getting their mothers to give them a stern talking to, that's how! --Barry Fisticuffs 22:02, 11 May 2006 (BST)
        • And invocations of various Norse Gods! Anything goes, really. So long as there is no touching of the hair or face. --Ron Burgundy 22:21, 11 May 2006 (BST)
          • The odds are solid that the Rangers and I will probably be out in the middle of nowhere then, anyway - I'd only worry about this sort of thing in malls and the like (where death isn't a big obstacle anyway.) --Major Grippy 05:42, 31 May 2006 (BST)

Ackland Attack

Didn't know if you were heading that direction, or where the rest of the gang is, but Ackland is in bad shape at the moment. 200+ zombies in the southwest corners and they've broken the barricades in that section as well. Around 25 or 30 standing zombies in the mall, and no one seems to be too terribly alarmed at the moment. I knew you were already informed about the new seige, but I figured I would just give you an update. - Bango Skank 17:10, 14 July 2006 (BST)

(Deleting the comment I left here, because I see you've already arrived at Ackland! You guys are sure quick! :) --Evanna 21:57, 14 July 2006 (BST))


Death from Caiger

Yo, Im looking for a bit of help. I need you Classy acts to sail in on Diversity, and save the day. Anyway, most of the info is on [10]Death from Caiger, basically its a plan to take back whats dear. I would also be grateful if you could spread the word. You normally try cool stuff like this, so, I think you can help.

  • There's a reply on your userpage! Parts of your plan are already in action- c'mon and join the fight!! --Ron Burgundy 00:27, 27 May 2006 (BST)

5th of November

Hey i was just wondering if you were going to be invading Ridleybank on the 5th of november, some other groups are doing it and they could use the help of classy people like yourselves. Also we would be honoured if you could play jazz flute for us :D --Gavman555 23:00 13 May 2006

  • I've got no idea where we'll be in November and really can't plan that far ahead. I'll keep it in mind, though! Stay Classy! --Ron Burgundy 00:19, 14 May 2006 (BST)

Indents Not Working So Hot? Try Bullets!

  • You could always have each person's reply "bulleted." All they have to do is add a bullet right in front of their comment. That should help to keep everyone's replies separate from each other as well as maintaining a clear pattern of responses. Think it's an idea? --Specialist290 15:25, 1 June 2006 (BST)
    • I know I thought about that before, but I have no idea why I didn't use it. There must have been a reason, unless I'm insane. Thanks for the advice, though! This seems like a good time to change it, I reckon! --Ron Burgundy 18:23, 2 June 2006 (BST)
      • Glad to be of service. --Specialist290 18:17, 5 June 2006 (BST)

Down with Red mafiya

An honoury membership of Down with Red mafiya has been awarded to your group for your attitude and actions towards them. --Grog 22:55, 6 June 2006 (BST)

User:Too Cool

Too Cool wiped the following pages: Talk:LoSH, LoSH - twice, The Malton Mafia, The Corleone Family, Channel 4 News Team. All groups that are against The Red Mafiya. Firstly: thanks for reverting The Malton Mafia, LoSH, Channel 4 News Team and The Corleone Family pages back to normal. Secondly: I think it should be noted that the pages wiped all belong to groups that are against those idiots in the group The Red Mafiya. And that other wiki user names - Antonio360 and The Red Mafiya - have in the past edited some of these pages to destroy information posted about The Red Mafiya's actions both in-game on on the wiki. I will be adding the user User:Too Cool onto the list at Down with Red mafiya Apoligies if you were added into Down with Red mafiya without knowing the situation with The Red Mafiya. --Grog 17:08, 9 June 2006 (BST)

Ackland Abattoir

Just want to wish you all well done from the Abattoir. If it wasn't for you and the Rangers having the guts to actually fight in the NW corner the mall would have fallen ages ago. You turned things around nicely. Of course our official line remains that this is a victory for us and don't forget what happened last time you left the mall! Looking forward to eating your classy brains again sometime --Davedavinson 21:11, 13 June 2006 (BST)

Another Suggestion for Barrville

  • It's just plain common sense that the zeds are going to be targeting resource buildings such as PDs, hospitals, etc. Since especially PDs are going to be targeted, I suggest that everyone in Barrville who doesn't have a Fire Axe and / or Axe Proficiency get one and / or both ASAP. Axes don't pack as much of a punch as firearms, nor are they as accurate, but an axe never needs to be reloaded, so you can stay in the fight even if you're out of ammo and the PD down the street is ransacked and has 50 z's sleeping there. This is probably going to sound like common sense to most of you veterans, but I'm just throwing it out here for everyone's benefit. --Specialist290 20:54, 20 June 2006 (BST)

Power For The People

Hey, since your in Barrville, I figured I might as well ask you a favor. On July 14th, I'm planning to head into Ridleybank and power as many buildings as I possibly can for about 2-3 days. If you have anybody to spare that could help, that would be great. So far we only have 2 people on board, and that would be a masacre.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 03:26, 1 July 2006 (BST)

Spying on big bash

Update: Some members of the Channel 4 News Team have been trying to make our group more diverse. We now boast an old, old wooden ship used in the Civil War era- and thanks to diversity, we've got the following information: The Big Bash will probably be swinging by Nichols Mall instead of Havercroft or Dunell Hills. They haven't found enough food in the southwest, so they're looking for better hunting in Central Malton. It's too early to tell, but our people in Stanbury Village might just want to evacuate- to Ridleybank!

C4NT spying on the Big Bash? Really not classy Ron. --Outstanding 00:42, 12 July 2006 (BST)

No spies hereabouts, my friend! We're simply staying in touch with our friends on the other side. --Ron Burgundy 02:37, 14 July 2006 (BST)

My oh my, Ron! What have we here? A Spy in Zombie ranks? HA! I doesn't matter if you think you know our plans! The Big Bash is unstoppable! We look forward to feeding on your brains! and FYI there never was a Civil War boat named Diversity, your arms aren't guns, and long live The Big Bash.png --DHRR10 02:08, 7 September 2006 (BST)

NO! NOOOOO!!!!! You know nothing of my Guns, Wes! Nothing! Ron Burgundy 07:37, 7 September 2006 (BST)


Crimson Tide

Survivors! It's about time for a massive pro-survivor campaign for survivors. This is why we are initiating a Ridleybank Reconquista! On August 15th, we will initiate Operation Crimson Tide, to take, and hold Ridleybank as long as possible! If we can do this, we will destroy the zombie's morale, and their stronghold as well! Crimson Tide! --Bluemofia 01:05, 13 July 2006 (BST)

We're already there, buddy. Might just be leaving soon to deal with the Big Bash, but then we'll probably come on back! You're welcome to join us, of course. We need all the vicious killers we can get! --Ron Burgundy 02:39, 14 July 2006 (BST)
  • Well, the way things are going, it looks like we'll have to put this off a bit... (MOORHOUSEGRAD!!) Nevertheless, the plan'll probably be revived once Yagoton appears to be secure. --Specialist290 15:02, 6 August 2006 (BST)


In honor of the greatness of C4NT, I have inscribed the initials of your noble orginization on a block of cheese. Then I ate it. Stay classy! --Paradox244 21:32, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Thanks! It's delicious, especially on a burrito. --Ron Burgundy 02:36, 21 July 2006 (BST)
BTW, my alt, Bobtherock, is joining as soon as I can log onto UD. I'm already registered as Bobtherock on the forum. Will shamble over your way, and hopefully get a revive, ASAP. --Paradox244 03:18, 21 July 2006 (BST)
Huzzah! Bobtherock has joined! --Paradox244 16:15, 21 July 2006 (BST)


Funny Ron. Now this isn't a promise, but RRF group 1 is now commited to patroling all suburbs that border Central Malton (aka Greater Ridleybank) and you've got a history of having other people revive you so you can bang your head against a brick wall (such as Barrville) instead of helping a suburb recover. So wouldn't try to do anything other than help the poor sods down in SW malton, say S.Blytheville get the area stabilized so that it can handle the feral zombie population and get back on its feet, therefore helping people? It seems to be a better idea than getting yourself into another syringe-wasting turf-war. --Karlsbad 02:44, 21 July 2006 (BST)

The RRF is expanding again, eh? Well, good luck to ya and thanks for the heads up! Just do me a favor and don't try this intimidation stuff. Survivors don't have any more reason to be afraid of you guys than any other zombie group. The fact that you see fit to leave half your strength around Central Malton is proof of that. That is, you wouldn't be defending so strongly unless you felt threatened.
As for having other people revive the News Team while we take on the impossible, Barrville, as you've said... that's just nonsense. First of all, it's not impossible, as the above proves. Second, we're simply using resources- and it's not like our getting revives interrupts the grand scheme of the people who revive us. If they didn't want to operate their revive points, they wouldn't. There's no infringement here.
Helping the people in Southwest Malton would be nice, but they can handle theirown. I'm neither arrogant nor condescending enough to believe that they need me. Besides, the places we're going are just as red as the ones in the southwest. Instead, the News Team will do what it does: fight! We're going to stay on the offensive and bring the battle to the zombies, as we have in the past. This isn't a turf-war and we've never claimed any territory. The News Team isn't about turf, it's about blood (your blood) and glory. When we entered Barrville, we did so to kill zombies, not to make it safe and setup camp. Likewise for everywhere else. There are plenty of safe places in Malton and the Channel 4 News Team isn't about making more of 'em. We're a frontier sort. --Ron Burgundy 08:51, 21 July 2006 (BST)

need help

i need help geting to a safer area, when i started i got dumped in Lerwill Heights. i quikly made my way west, not much zombie activty at the western half to my knowlage. right now im in a very unprotected building in Reganbank. though i see i have a better chance of gettign to a revival area if im a zombie, i don't fell like it, and im currently trapped there, if anybody could help plz do.

Sorry, buddy, but there's a whole lot of zombie activity in the west. They're everywhere, right now. If you end up dead, your best bet is Yagoton's St. Swithun's Church. You can use this to get there [11]. I don't know of any groups that operate in your area besides the DHPD. They're good guys and you may be able to get some help from them. Good luck! --Ron Burgundy 01:09, 25 July 2006 (BST)

You know, as a Zombie, I would have helped my fellow man! (Trust me, he's better off as a zombie, and we would take him in)--DHRR10 04:16, 16 September 2006 (BST)

hey, i want to form a alliance with this or whatever and my new team i just formed. also, what is the red shadow? they have thrteats all over the place with all the fire stations

you knowm most of southwestern area from where i started has small activity, msotly they leave alone, so fdar the only humans i saw was 1 guy in the open and some totlay baracaded fire station hey, do u think i could reach greentown? i jsut happedn to be 1 of those scientist dudes ok. since escape is impossibble, thid place isl ined with impreg's. im gonan amek a mad dash for the revive and jsut get revived

massive horde

this large horde number's in the 800+. apparently 3 seperate large hordes converged somewhere in Huntley Heights. the 3 hordes may have come from horde 1: Shearbank horde 2: Roachtown horde 3: Raines Hills

this horde is extrmely dangourse, and brought down 5 safe houes's in a few seconds

this massive horde is expected to move through

1: Huntley Heights 2: Heytown 3: Spracklingbank 4: Starlingtown 5: Dentonside 6: Houldenbank 7: Vinetown or Osmondville 8: Gulsonside or Crowbank 9: Wray Heights

it is obiouse what this is, an attempt to cut off the eastern city.

if not stopped they will retreat to zed area's; regroup, rest, and move up to the most well known healign area in zed. area; Yagoton

im not to sure if this is a real. since i havn't seen them, only heard about them form a freind earlier on another site

Coalition for Fair Tactics

If you agree please join this organization--GageCFT 03:12, 27 July 2006 (BST)

Current Status of the Bear Pit

The bears must be hibernating because Ackland is only occupied by nine standing zeds and is ripe for recapture by even a few dozen survivors. It stands to reason that most of the other high profile targets hit by the big bash are similarly lightly occupied. The New Malton Colossus could easily recapture it, and encourage further counterattacks by example. -Tyler Whitney0 (8:00 pm July 27th)

Thanks! I've actually been aware of this for a few days. Numbers dropped off after they attacked and started falling. They seem to have reached a floor of sorts and are static. We'll be dropping by Central Malton in short order- very short order.  :) --Ron Burgundy 02:17, 28 July 2006 (BST)

Afternoon Delight

Greetings from The Sun Organization, name's Chopper. I'd just returned from the... Pants store, after a rather embarrassing incident when I thought perhaps you'd be interested in an alliance with us? Being admirers of your group Ron, we here at The Sun Org. would be honoured to ally with yourselves and occasionally help hunt down Wes and the Evening News Team. We're stationed in Brooke Hills, though at the moment we've moved to Bale Mall in Yagoton to aid in the soon to be seige from the Big Bash. I heard you were around central Malton, which is where we are really, but a tad to the north too. Would you join us at Bale Mall, as with the charismaticmatic members of the C4NT, I don't see why we wouldn't be able to halt TBB in their tracks. They're not to arrive for another two weeks but non the less, it would be great to fight along side you, not to mention you could by yourselves some new suits! If not, then no worries, but what would you say to that alliance? Regards... Chopper SUN 12:23, 28 July 2006 (BST)

  • Turns out that the Big Bash is taking the scenic route round to Yagoton, it now seems that it will be a good month, or more than likely more, before they reach Yagoton, as they're back tracking to the South East, then heading north. Non the less though, we here at The Sun Org. would always have an array of fine scotch's ready for your arrival should you ever need a reliable safehouse in Brooke Hills. And by the way, was the Human Torch really denied a bank loan? --Chopper 23:52, 28 July 2006 (BST)
  • Hello again Ron and your Channel 4 News Team. This may be a little off topic, but I was wondering what your intentions and plans are around early November. Considering that you do not stay still for very long, moving to wherever there is glorious battle, the 5th of November movement would seem to be right up your street? When Survivors march on the choked heart of Malton, let the RRF and their combined forces see that Ron and his men have returned for what could be one of the greatest battle's Malton has ever seen. Feel like lending a hand in capturing the one suburb that has never been stolen from the Zombie grasp, ultimately the equivalent of a Zombie Mecha? Regards, --Chopper 10:31, 5 August 2006 (BST)
    • I'm assuming you mean Mecca? X1M43 11:34, 5 August 2006 (BST)
    • No specific plans for the 5th as of yet. We've been to Ridleybank before and we'll probably be there again, but there's no telling where we'll be then! I'm game for going in with the 5th of November people, but there's always the chance that we will have gotten ourselves into something rough in another suburb. I resisted the whole movement in the beginning, but I've been moving closer and closer to it. Seems I've underestimated it! --Ron Burgundy 06:06, 6 August 2006 (BST)
  • Thank you for the correction, X1M43. Yes, I meant Mecca, mishaps will occur. Well Ron, the 5th of November is still quite a way away, so it leaves plenty of time to venture off and around Malton. Though as it's three months away I guess you're right, you never know if you're gonna be tangled up in something. Non the less, it would be a great chater in the History section for every group participating in the movement, and the numbers committed to the event continue to rise. S.T.A.R.S have just thrown their name in, yet no Survivor group with such an influenece as yourselves have joined. I can't quite understand why the D.E.M haven't signed up any of their groups, as it could make a substancial difference to the outcome. Will the C4NT be that inspirational force the 5th of November movement desparately needs? We can only hope ^.^ --Chopper 15:02, 7 August 2006 (BST)
  • Just a post to say thank you for leaving several men behind in Brooke Hills to help us clean up our 'burb. This time last week, we were a 'Red Zone', now we're more than comfortably resting in a 'Yellow Zone'. The help has been appreciated Ron, regards... --Chopper 10:52, 10 August 2006 (BST)


Your groups advertisement is now out of date. If it is not updated by 15:30, 4 August 2006 (BST) it will be deleted. Thank You

Conndrakamod TCFT 15:40, 2 August 2006 (BST)

Recruitment Ad

It’s that time again… Please update your timestamp by 9-12 or the advertisement will be deleted. Thank you. Conndrakamod T CFT 07:22, 10 September 2006 (BST)

V-SB Day

Survivors have claimed victory in South Blytheville. Not only are there no more zombies attacking Marven, but there isn't a single standing zombie in the suburb. Sam and Max said they were going to use the opportunity to sleep under the stars for the first time in months and toast those comrades who have still not felt the sweet kiss of a syringe. -Tyler Whitney0


Have a look; disseminate it among your members and free lancers. Be aware, be prepared, and join in. Or Not Conndrakamod T CFT 16:59, 17 August 2006 (BST)

The Competition

I'll let you folks decide if you want to list the local news competition, the Malton Herald & Sun on the main page. If you do so, said act will be reciprocated. -- Murray Jay -- 8:15 pm EDT, 16 October 2006

Wire Service

The Malton Associated Press, a (relatively) unbiased wire service serving the Malton area, has begun operations. Feel free to reprint stories. --Halocakes 22:41, 20 October 2006 (BST)

  • Update: For your convenience, a template has also been created that will place a list of the top MAP headlines on your page. Insert {{MAP Current Top News Headlines}} in your wiki, and the most up-to-date headlines will be fed to your page. --Halocakes 16:39, 21 October 2006 (BST)
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