Team Meat

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Team Meat
Abbreviation: Team Meat
Group Numbers: 6
Leadership: co-founders Detectives A Clarke and J MacLane
Goals: survival and doing it all to a kick ass rock 'n' roll soundtrack
Recruitment Policy: anyone living
Contact: via our designated forum [1]

The Humble Origins of Team Meat Team Meat began it's days on the 4th of August when two cop partners discovered Malton's doughnut supply was truly depleted. Now living off a diet high in rock 'n' roll and zombie brain smashing they hope they can get through the doughnut drought, even if that means going cold turkey.

Team Meat is based in Molebank, our HQ is the Jouxson Cinema (11,46). If you require a revive post up on our forum [2] and just ask, our designated revive point is Wallbutton Way (11,45)... yeah just one square North of the HQ.


Team Meat: The Lives and Times of... August 4th- our handsome hero, Detective A Clarke set out from Burdekin Alley police station in Galbraith Hills in search of sustainance, requiring his daily bread... well, dough based confectionary. On the same day his partner and possible love interest Detective J MacLane began traversing the streets of Malton looking for something with a blueberry jam filling and slight layer of dusting. On her way around Malton Detective MacLane became exhausted from Doughnut-deprivation (D-D in the profession) and fainted (after finding many useful artifacts.) Elsewhere in another suburb Clarke was mooching between buildings worrying that the Doughnut-deprivation was sinking in as he was hallucinating about Mexican penguins dancing around a moose called Elmo. Eventually Clarke holed up in Adey Plaza fire station. Meanwhile Maclane had been seduced by Mr. Sandman and was dreaming away quite happily until a stray zombie decided to chew on her head. Thus ending Maclane's living for then. Awoken by the urge to pee, Clarke found hiself confronted with a zombie and shot... doing bugger all, the delerium of doughnut deprival was too much to handle as Clarke fell back to sleep.... Fortunately members of the Havercroft Mobile Defence Squad were on hand to save him, and use their understandings of first aid to patch up zombie inflicted wounds.

August 5th- Shattered by the lack of doughy-goodness and the mysterious disappearnce of MacLane (now a shambling man-eater(not the first time it's been said))Clarke started the day looking for anything useful and found a flare gun, wirecutters and a first aid kit... oh and a radio, which he dropped and then found again. At the same time, cold, lonely, alone and in need of brains MacLane wandered the streets Mrh-ing at any passer-by. Her eyes said love me, her brain said revive me. MacLane's living dead body continued on in search of a revivie point, her lifeless-yet-able-to-move-and-groan body in search of help... Clarke continued to sift through the rubble until he was tired and returned to Adey Plaza fire station where he would spend the remainder of the evening picking his nose and flicking it at other survivors.

August 6th- Detective Clarke woke with a spasm in his left arm, he'd fallen asleep on it. He set off for a mooch around Havercroft going to a nearby hospital finding a single first aid kit, encumbering him now to a total of 18%. He returned to Adey Plaza for a nap due to breathing problems brought on by his asthma. "Shafooosh" Clarke fired a flare in the face of a nearby zombie narrowly missing by 14ft... before unloading the rest of his pistol ammo into the decomposing monster. MacLane continued her undead wandering, her legs, smelling of off cheese lead her toward Molebank, stopping along the way to nibble on a happless military guy, occasionally missing. MacLane reached Holland Alley in Molebank, a well checked revive point of the ArcAngels and stopped....

August 7th- Something woke Clarke, a premonition, or perhaps the commotion of a zombie attack, he'd been bitten (again)and healed (again) whilst somebody else killed the zombie (again). A newly revived MacLane didn't last long, as she slept rough.. another zombie bit her.. now a zombie once again MacLane lie in the street, stricken, waiting for help. The night before Detective Clarke had dreamt MacLane was in Molebank, and that afternoon he packed his stuff and left the partial safety of Havercroft and set out into the world in search of MacLane. Once in Molebank Clarke set about searching for a safe house and came across Burrell Way police station, which was already being occupied by 80 other survivors. Whilst within the safe-yet-crowded walls of Burrell, he began to search for useful items and located two shotguns and an extra round of ammo. Now feeling a little more protection Clarke set down to rest on a pile of police jackets with his shotgun beside him.

August 8th- A day of searching yielded more wire cutters from Seears Auto repairs and from a nearby junkyard a lenght of pipe which would surely come in handy for protection. For MacLane more shambling, and then an attack on a fellow zombie, biting a clawing her way through the rancid flesh. An unpleasant surprise was waiting for Clarke on his return to Burrell, a stray zombie. "Oh, I'm gonna f**k you up!" he bellowed raisng his pipe above his head. Clarke swung.. and missed.. and again... and again... and again.. "Stop moving!" He reached for his shotgun and blasted two shells straight through the zombie which remained standing.. so he took his flare gun and fired it at the zombie, missing once again. After taking a few more swings with his pipe Clarke retired to his pile of jackets in within the police station. Revived, MacLane took it upon herself to "play dead" as not to arouse suspicion by passing zombies and waiting until she had enough energy to make it to a safe house nearby....

August 9th- In the wee hours of the night Clarke woke to find another survivor crying in pain, using his limited first aid skills he managed to reduce the swelling on the man's backside where he had wiped with nettles.... MacLane ran and ran once healed and found herself within Burrell. She looked around the police station and found Clarke sleeping, she gently stroked his hair until she fell asleep beside him. Clarke woke to find her beside him, overjoyed a tear came to his eye. He frisked her checking to see if she'd found any doughnuts.. None. Clarke got to his feet, still wary of the advancing zombies and decided to pay Seears another visit. He rifled through piles of s**t until he came across something of use.. a crowbar, another blunt object he could attack the undead with and miss.. MacLane was still infected which meant every time she moved she came closer to death, another member of the growing crowd of survivors in Burrell Way cured her infection. Once cured MacLane set out towards Seears in search of useful items. Upon arrival at Seears MacLane managed to locate two spray cans and a rather snazzy Nokia 3310 mobile phone (score) which meant even during the Zombie apocalypse she could still look trendy. Whilst MacLane slept Clarke spotted something glinting in the corner of the room.. a pistol clip.. a full clip. He felt a little safer as he returned to the pile of coats MacLane had since sprawled over in a starfish shape..

August 10th- August 10th marked the beginning of a lazy weekend for Clarke who would choose to sit around Burrell for hours contemplating the "point".. why fight it? He was close to a break down.. where as MacLane, she was busy running around collecting ammunition and randomly attacking any living dead being she came across, much like the proverbial hoodie wearing A.S.B.O kid residing in the zombie infested suburbs of Malton.

August 11th- "Why???" Clarke rolled around on his pile of coats. "Why???" The cabin fever, the lack of doughnuts, the possibility of any day being his last coupled with the fact a girl was kicking his ass at zombie shooting was getting him down. He searched around for a while coming across a newspaper (he crossed his fingers hoping for a page 3 model.. he hadn't seen any boobies for ages) and a pistol clip. Meanwhile MacLane was still kicking ass and getting a taste for the spattering of rancid zombie blood on her clothes and fists, which she had been using to pummel their skulls like ripe grapefruit. With every zombie she battered she became stronger and more assured of her self.

August 17th- A panic striken Team Meat spent all day searching the crowded Burrell police station for ammunition ready to ward off the advancing zombie hoarde. No luck for any of the members... although Clarke did find another shotgun to add to his growing collection. Time to lock 'n' load.

August 29th- Tonight around 20:47 a decaying tumble-weed passed through Molebank.... It blew by MacLane who groaned. The first tumble-weed of the war. ThomasClarke continued to watch the flies gather around his head, laying their maggots, feasting on his decomposing flesh. Elvis Is Alive continued mooching aimlessly, his rotten legs leading him somewhere. Detective A Clarke spent most of his Thursday amongst the survivors in Ranson Boulevard P.D. in Buttonville. However he did manage to stray over to a nearby NecroTech building to look for some syringes.. and get some sunlight to stave off the ricketts.

October 5th- Preparations for Detective A Clarke's 20th birthday are underway... with a search for a generator and fuel to power the cinema. If you fancy coming check out the invitation. [[3]]

Policies For those who are about to rock, there are no policies, we are cops who can't catch a break and will break anything in order to catch said break.

However we will; be friendly and polite at all times, offer support and assistance where needed, kick some ass if that is required to sustain our own lives, do favours in return for nothing (maybe a sly back hander *wink wink nudge nudge*) and hold a grudge if you bring it on yourself.

Detective A Clarke "We aint got no beef with nobodies, nuh huh."

As Team Meat we believe in:

DontGK.jpg GKers Suck
This group thinks that destroying generators is a pussy move.

Revive Request.jpg Electric6.jpg

Sgpicon1.gif Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.
Mercinaries.jpg Heavy Arms
This user or group has Heavy Arms and will use them if provoked.
McZeds.png McZeds™
This User or Group eats at McZeds™. They also support the Use of Corpses for High Quality Processed Fast Food.

Recruitment Although it may say any one living, we don't mean just anyone. No minorities- no PKers, GKers and no RKers. Thank You, we are members of the police service and can not be seen to condone these activities.

The Pig's/The Fuzz/Bobbies/Cops/Tit 'eads/ Those amongst the Team Meat ranks and a wee bit about those brave fools in their uniforms

Detective A Clarke - [[4]]

Detective J MacLane - [[5]] (MIA)

Detective W Chuckles (MIA)

Elvis Is Alive (MIA)

digidrago (MIA)

RPGManic (MIA)


In concordance with an agreement between the factions Team Meat and the ArcAngels, there is now a recognised alliance between both groups.

To aid in the revival of Molebank an alliance between Team Meat and 10 Minutes From Hell has been forged. We look forward to working with our new allies for the good of the suburb.


May 2008 - Alone, so very alone... only Detective A Clarke remains

November 2007 - Team Meat recruit new member RPGManic, congratulations on your new job cards to be sent to Jouxson. Also Detective W Chuckles replaces ThomasClarke (MIA) who left us having never gained a level in four months.

October 2007 - Molebank bares witness to one of it's residents becoming a man as Detective A Clarke turns 20.

September 2007 - The Team is now back in Molebank rebuilding, revivifying, installing generators and other such useful things, we are also looking to recruit new members, so should you be interested drop us a line on the forum.

August 2007 - From mid-August the group had been preparing for a zombie onslaught. The hoardes mercylessly took their time, stringing us along, waiting for our impending doom. Now they have arived we have all perished at one point or another, I myself died thanks to over barricading. MacLane died whe she managed to get herself lost in what had become a zombie infested suburd. And the young constable ThomasClarke was slaughtered whilst defending Burrell way when a lare group of zeds over ran the barricades and tore him to pieces. Upon my revival I relocated (tagged along)with members of the ArcAngels to Reganbank... "The Battle for Molebank" may rage on, but it's now looking like a lost cause... Detective A Clarke

"The Battle for Molebank" was indeed a lost cause... but the rebuild will begin shortly (hopefully).

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