Team Zombie Hardcore/Bravo Squad

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Team Zombie Hardcore Bravo Squad
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Abbreviation: Polar Bear
Group Numbers: Face
Leadership: Duke Cage and Shu [legends]
Goals: Kill Zombies and Rock Out like Mark Whalberg
Recruitment Policy: Kill Zombies and be Hardcore
Contact: We will respond in game and on our wikipage



Purpose

Bravo Squad of Team Zombie Hardcore is here to pound the shit out of zombies at all costs and then make them eat the shit that we beat out of them. We are sometime referred to as TZH - Badass Squad. Naturally. Duke Cage and Shu are our fearless leaders. Legend has it they once lost to zombies in beer pong but then killed the zombies to be the victors by default. This is just a legend though, so take it with a gain of salt.

TZH fights zombies at all times. If one of our own turns into a zombie, they revive as soon as possible, and while doing so they still hack zombie limbs off, even if it's their own. Don't mess! Get some!

HQ--Our official HQ is the Dear Street Police Dept. Bastion of TZH. However we tend to hang out at Warehouse 26,66. Our Polar Bear pissed all over the building and claims it to be its home. We're ok with it.

For the record, we are not a territorial organization. We have places that we like to stay, but our main concern is killing all zombies. If it makes sense to flee an area to fight another day, then we do it. The more of us there are alive, then the more zombies will be dead tomorrow.
If we were to call any place home it would be whatever block Mark Whalberg is rocking out on.

TZH - Bravo Squad was formerly Team Strike Force and still is. However, we have now joined the awesomest of the awesome and are now beyond unstoppable. Zombies are waking up with their foreheads in their asses.

Goals

Spread the hardcore fear of the TZH RAMPAGE!

1. Kill Silverton Sucks. This isn't really a goal. More of a pure fact.
2. Get a functioning radio transmitter.
3. Ensure that the rest of Whalton learns Whalbergese.
4. Take a group picture with a pile of dead bodies. When we finally accomplish the trample technique.
5. Poop in a bag and mail it to Ridleybank.

Correspondence from other groups:

May 16, 2007 - We're about. Currently cleaning up the NE corner, Greentown's looking pretty safe lately, we're thinking about changing the color code. What can we do to help you out, Duke? You're a good ally, and we're on your side. --Alice Cuinn 18:25, 16 May 2007 (BST)

May 5, 2007 - Poor zombie Duke Cage. How can you celebrate Cinco de Mayo while you're putrid? It's just so wrong. Come to the Greentown cemetery, we have syringes and tequila. I'll save you a lime. - Alice Cuinn

April 15, 2007 - Saw the zombie Mike Smith looking out of place in a group of zombies outside of the mall. I thought to myself, "What would Duke Cage do?"... but when I realized what that was, I was a little disturbed. So I revived him instead. - Alice Cuinn

April 11, 2007 - Thanks for the revive! I got Jed up, too. Let me know if/when/where I can return the favor - I always carry syringes. Alice Cuinn

April 5, 2007 - Both Jed and I are dead in the Greentown Hospital - can we get a revive? Let us know where to be and when and we'll shamble over there. - Alice Cuinn

Recent Activity

3 July 2007 Hey an update? The best place for an update is on the forum rather than here since all these pkers that came to kill us check out our page. Not that it makes a difference. They've sent over 5 different groups now. Fuck you, Malton Skeet Club. We are the unstoppable force of hardcore ballsack! Now, Logan, Boobies, etc. Get to our new location. Malton needs some heroes there. Balls Out. --Duke cage 17:06, 3 July 2007 (BST)

31 May 2007 It has come to the attention of myself and others that there is a TZH imposter in Malton. Goes by the name Black Pox. He is the fuck responsible for my death in Brooksville. KOS. -Logan

20 May 2007 In a startling chain of events; Shirly Logan was revived by... The Happy Shopper?! The fuck?! Shirly Logan

17 May 2007 I got PK'd by a fuck named Black Pox, he claimed I wasn't hardcore enough. He's just jealous that I sleep with one eye open and the other behind my super enhanced eye patch x-ray goggles. I'll need a revive, so I've moved myself to a wasteland near your location. -Shirly Logan On a side note, thanks Dark Fuzball, ya killed me. I laughed alot when I logged on and saw me dead by you. -Logan

16 May 2007 You know what makes this game more awesome? When you get to flarefuck assholes like The Happy Shopper and Life's A Bitch who actually work WITH zombies. This Malton Skeet Club is incredible. I do not understand why they continue to stick around Marven Mall after their actions of Douchebagness. They will continue to be purged in the name of Whalberg and all that is holy! They are currently in the NW quadrant of Marven Mall. The zombie presence in the area is near zero.

Flush those turds from the area. They have no idea how hardcore we can be. Long Live North Blythville! Balls to the WHALLS!

8 May 2007 Lot's of news today. We have found acts of anti-TZH graffiti in the area. It is likely that it was done by The Happy Shopper and other fuckholes like him. Morris and Duke Cage were also killed today by Chimera7 in zombie form. That rocked.
Current plans are underway that involve us being hardcore like usual.

7 May 2007 Holy times of awesome. We found The Happy Shopper. Duke Cage was just being as rad as usual and was heading home after a plundering day at the mall. Then he saw shopper being an asshole just standing at an auto repair shop. So Morris pays him a visit and tells the happy shopper hello with a shotgun. Then BOOBIES shows up and shoots that asshole directly in the face with a flare gun. The action shot will be posted. How fucking pimptasticness was that? Team Zombie Hardcore is by far the COOLEST! Rabble Rabble! Balls To the Whalls! Duke cage 20:16, 7 May 2007 (BST)

5 May 2007 A zombie killed Duke Cage in the mall today. It was beyond retarded. The zombie broke in at one corner and then walked to my corner and killed me. I check the profile and it didn't ring a bell. It could have been someone's alt maybe. Either way, fucking retarded. Hey zombies. ITS ON! Get some, you motherfuckers.

4 May 2007 The zombie known as Niche is the one behind the zed's screaming gangbang. He's dead, I used all my AP to break his scull open with the remaining bullets that I had as well as my ax. If I go down, I go down fighting. Fuck zeds. -Logan.

2 May 2007 Due to the massive cluster fuck of zombies and humans in the Dear St. Neighborhood, there will be counter actions to focus on. I suggest moving to the Duke Cage location.... he's drinking at a 90 degree angle. But before you get there do waste at least 1 zombie outside of Dear St. It is imperative that we say 'Fuck you!' whenever we get the chance. Heads up for Kyle Silverton. Cage out.

1 May 2007 Shit is really hitting the fan right now. RFK is rocking out the radio. Papa Nixon is in the mall. Chimera7 is in the NE quadrant, so be careful you guys in there. Cage is back in North Blythville. Fuck those fucking zombies.

30 April 2007Shirly Logan goes on a mother fucking rampage, healing a survivor inches from death and then killing 3 zeds who needed a good killing. Balls to the Whalls!!TRIPLE KILL!

29 April 2007 Duke Cage fuckin died. Chimera7 got him as a zombie. I am beyond pissed off right now. Then some lady named "Life's A Bitch" is part of a stupid group and said that Duke Cage is an asshole PKer. But that is so shit. Fuck them. I hate everyone who does not respect whalberg! I'm rampaging. FOCK!

29 April 2007 We rule. The mall is absolutely in the hands of the living. Chimera7 showed up there today and I blew his face off with my shotgun-cock. If somebody can get a screenshot of it, that'd be sweet. At somepoint a planned vacation to Ridleybank would be pretty damn fun. We should look into that. Balls to the Whalls!

28 April 2007 Rage McRoidUser is in the carpark. Somebody revive him. He is a zombie stomping alpha male. I'm currently at the Mall. It is booming. Shu, Dark Fuzzball, and Kiiro are down here. I'm going to try to get a transmitter and some bullets. Things are totally looking way awesome everywhere. I suggest that we go on a fucking rampage and pick an NT building in South Blythville go in and have everyone start screaming and causing mayhem. Then we kill them with axes and feed their limbs to the polar bear and hippo. Duke Cage and Morris O'brian will be MCing Pirate Radio ASAP.
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24 April 2007 I wish I knew which zombie dragged out Morris. Just to be safe, kill all zombies. North Blythville is looking pretty damn nice right now. Safety feels good. We left a functioning Mhall in order to help rid other areas of zombies. We've definitely succeeded. I'd like to see what we can do at Marven Mall and see if we can turn it into a MHALL. I'll check the MIC [Mall Information Center] and then head down to give you guys an update. I don't plan on being down there too long. North Blythville is not what I would consider a done deal yet. However, prosperity in other areas is an excellent tool in limiting zombie activity in our hometown.

Also in the news: Kyle Silverton was spotted on the streets eating his own shit. He was also being semi-raped by a polar bear. It's considered Semi-rape because he wanted to get railed, but a Polar Bear just doesn't make love... it rapes. Fuck you, Kyle. Duke Cage OUT

22 April 2007 Further update for the Squad. We just got new orders. I'm going to set up an email list for the squad in order to send out more specific orders. I used to be able to use the wiki but then those z-tards started looking at our page to spy on us... a lot of good that did. You suck, zombies! I currently have the address of shu, morris, taji, logan, and Boobies. So that means YOU, jakovasaur. Whalberg OWNS UR FACE X2!


Balls to the Whalls! Duke cage 06:14, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Action Shots! Get Some!

These are arranged with the most recent act of awesome at the top.


Here's April Ivy, a TZH imposter/pker that got fed her own bruised ass. Duke Cage showed her where his balls were! Hail Whalberg!!
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Lord Moloch is an RRF member that has been spying and pking in the SSZ for months. Duke Cage had enough of that! Glory To The Hardcore!
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While The Happy Shopper is no longer an enemy to the hardcore, his death from flaregun was hilarious and thus is still up in memory of one of the best kills ever.
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Historical Events of Pure Awesome Whalbergness

  • The following is not a dramatization of actual events. Its the real hardcore deal.
On the morning of April 9th of 2007, Duke Cage was on a mission to restore the Nich Building [NT] and resurrect the Army of Awesome. As he launched himself from building to building he saw a mob of zombies nearly 30 in numbers. Shu was one of these fallen men.
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Cage pounded his chest and did a super jab with a needle right into the neck of Shu. Some guy named Elvis was also revived in a similar fashion except it involved a roundhouse kick and a polar bear.
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After using his needles Cage charged into the Nich Building [NT] and found a Blythville Gang member and the unstoppable Lurchy McGee. The doors were wide open, but apparently the zombies knew better than to stick around when Duke Cage was on the prowl. Cage searched around and found about 20 GPS units and 1 needle. Since he doesn't get lost, this search pissed him off. He grabbed a table, chair, and drink machine and super-thrusted them into the entrance of the building to provide protection. He communicated with other members and took a nap.
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Cage woke up to the sound of Lurchy McGee getting dragged outside. A zombie was grabbing onto an injured [39hp] Duke Cage. The zombie had nothing on Cage and only managed to further injure him to 27hp. The zombie however received an axe to the face, ass, and arms and lost his grip. The only safe place in the area was a library, the Dingley Library.... or so it seemed.
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Morris O'brian arrived at the Nich Building several minutes after Duke Cage escaped to safety. Morris found a zombie with no hands, a diced ass, and no face. He punched the zombie in the mouth. After seeing rubble and dead bodies, O'brian headed to find safety and barricaded himself at an un-disclosed position.
Later that day, Shu rose from street and looked for place to hang out. It he moved from building to building until he found Cage. The Library was surrounded by zombies. Shu entered the building and he was totally tired [15ap and infected]. He jabbed a needle in the zombie that was inside and used the rest of his strength to barricaded the building. 30 minutes pass. The barricades were busted down and the horde was charging in. Shu quickly set up a safehaven nearby and contacted Cage about the stench fucks outside. When Cage received word the zombies broke in. 1 of the zildos was able to open the door and crawl inside. But then the unthinkable happened. None other than Zombie-Mark-Whalberg arrived.
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The douche zombie managed to bite an ankle or something and take cage down to 9hp, but then Whalberg grabbed the zombie by his BALLS and threw him through the Brick WHALL! As the zombie flew through the debris, Zombie-Kiiro and Zombie-Lurchy McGee caught the body and ripped him to sheds along with the others outside.
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Whalberg then proceeded to shut the door and yelled "Balls to the Whalls!" [In Zombese]. This caused all the zombies in the area to shit themselves and then fall over and die in their own shit. Shu managed to pull Duke Cage out of the library to safety.

This is where the legendary story stops for now, for it is still going on as we read this. The Whalberg zombie army is on patrol and will be resurrected as super shotgun pimps in the near future. Only after witnessing moments of Hardcore Awesome like these can you truly understand the battle cry BALLS TO THE WHALLS!

More to come on this story as it progresses. Fuck you, zombies. We got a plane to catch... A plane made of awesome.

Members

Duke Cage - Pretty much a God. Armed with a fireaxe and blackness, he is the last thing a zombie wants to encounter. Zombies rush to rebarricade buildings when they find out Duke Cage is inside. Hey zombies, you got a little something on your face! AXESMASH!

Shu - One of our crafty veterans. Shu is lead scientist and friendly guy. He always pulls through, whether its being a hero construction guy, reviver, or meatshield. The zombies just love to eat him first. He's definitely a role model to any TZH member. Don't even try to be Duke Cage. There can only be one.

Mike Smith - One of the most feared pirates in Malton. The Profile Police can't handle him, the zombies can't eat him, and Team Strike Force isn't complete without him. Smith needs to move his ass and bring his dominance to North Blythville. He's been known to carry 20 fully loaded shotguns at nearly all times. It's totally sick nasty! Call the doctor!

Jakovasaur - Jak is one of the up and comers. She's a fireman and has a tail. Word on the street is she uses her tail to wield the axe so she can give first aid at the same time. But that's street word.

Morris O'Brian - Morris is Bravo's doctor and emergency medic. If you're a friendly, he'll give you a healthy dose of first aid. If you're the walking dead, he'll prescribe a fireaxe to the face. I also enjoy casual sex with Jakovasaur.

Shirly Logan - Shirly is a dude. Don't let the name fool you. His parents just really hated him, but its all good now. The mom and pops are now brainless zombies that get constant body piercing from Duke Cage's massive Axe of hero-ness.

Dark Fuzzball - Have you ever seen the "Ripley's" with the man who is completely covered in hair? Picture that guy in a police uniform wielding a pistol and you'll have an accurate representation of this furball.

8008135 - This guy is about to run over your ass. 3 weeks in and he's level 13. Oh my times!

Taji - In the name of Whalberg, She will de-face you!

Owner of Face - The name explains everything.

ObiFireFighter - When he is not being awesomely hardcore slauthtering all the zombies and pkers around Whalbergville he goes with Polar Bear for a sex rampage around the burb.

Polar Bear - All he ever does is eat zombies for breakfast and then goes on a sex rampage around the neighborhood. Sometimes he sits his fatass in the front door of the warehouse so zombies can't get in.
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This user or group is an Explorer and belives that we should all join Sean Connery in defeating those damn zombies
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This user or group has Heavy Arms and will use them if provoked.

Enemies

Reverse Midas Touch - Although he doesn't have a profile on the wiki, we went ahead and created a page for him. I'm sure he'd approve. He's a tool like that.
Update The page was quickly deleted due to the truthiness mentionings of Reverse Midas Touch's complete lack of penis ownership.

Current counts of Reverse Midas Touch being de-faced: 2

The Profile Police - These guys killed Enders it's ON!
Current counts of The Profile Police getting their asses shot off: 11

Kyle Silverton - Nobody kills Big Nixon. NOBODY!
Current counts of Silverton getting a Silver Bullet in his stupid fat face: 4

Chimera7 - Kill this fuckstain on sight. Current counts of Chimera7 getting his shit rocked: 25+

Alf Landon - This motherfucker has attacked and killed members of TZH and our holy leader, Mark Whalberg. KOS all across Whalton.

HARDCORE

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This Group is HARDCORE
This group follows and believes in his Divine Awesomeness.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
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