The Banzai Institute for Advanced Armored Warfare

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The Banzai Institute for Advanced Armored Warfare
http://www.banzaiinstitute.net/images/topics/BanzaiInstitute.gif
Abbreviation: BI, BIfAAW, TB, Banzai
Group Numbers: 15-20 members
Leadership: Representational Insanity
Goals: Whatever we feel like, which is generally violent.
Recruitment Policy: Members of the Banzai Institute forums.
Contact: None, and yet all. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Huh, what's this?

Somebody has spraypainted Banzaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! onto a wall. -- Mitchell Drive Fire Station in East Becktown

The Banzai Institute for Advanced Armored Warfare is something like a giant ball of chaos that rolls about at random, sucking anything it touches into its messy innards. Skilled in doing things widely considered to be stupid beyond all reason, The Institute distinguishes itself by turning these ill-advised endeavors into unqualified successes. Pastimes of Institute members typically involve copious amounts of explosive material and firearms of improbable size. When gathered together, they tend to leave a trail of mangled bodies and collapsed, burning buildings in their wake. Upon seeing an Institute member in uniform, one survivor is said to have remarked, "Whatever military he came from, they ain't the normal one."

In early December, several survivors claiming to be members of this group have been seen in Roachtown, centered around the Matraves Crescent Police Department. Current reports claim that members of the group are scattered throughout Shearbank, with no current single safehouse.

Most recent sitings have occurred in West Grayside and East Grayside.

Yikes!

Yeah, that's what most people say. We don't actually care, though. As long as we can kill things and blow things up, we're good. And zombies are our favorite things to kill. We haven't found anything to blow up yet, so we mostly amuse ourselves with flare guns until we do.

Ongoing Operations

Operation Banzai Medical Relay

The Mall Tour finished its dirty business in the area of West Grayside but Zeds still abound. In reaction to this many Banzai Alumni including Leeran, Az Stone, BlueMoonWolf, MeanMrMustard, and Quarzark have set up the Banzai Medical Relay.

We have established a triage at Lihou Auto Repair [58, 82] and are traveling west from there to MacKie Street [55, 82] to do revives, and to Pole Mall [52, 80]/[53, 80]/[53, 81] for supplies and also traveling east to St Odile's Hospital [60, 83] in East Grayside for supplies.

If you are in need of assistance just call Doctor Banzai!!!

Past Operations

Operation Thermonuclear Hand Grenade

According to rumors, this is a multipart operation in the planning/execution stage (unique to Banzai, this phrase essentially means "we're making it up as we go") aimed at establishing The Institute within Roachtown. Known objectives of this operation are:

  • Secure Cyril General Hospital
  • Secure St Helena's Hospital
  • Defend Matraves Crescent Police Department
  • Sweep north-central Roachtown to ensure the security of critical buildings in the area
  • Begin insurgency actions in Ridleybank against the Ridleybank Resistance Front
  • 10/01/2006. Recent progress reports indicate that OTHaG has been filed into the "To do sometime much later" category. In laymans terms this means the Operation has been abandoned for an undetermied amount of time.

Operation Golden Wombat

We dont' know what this is, really, but we happen to be very fond of wombats. We like them so much, one of our members has a trained army of them. Our Spackled Attack Wombats and Sages are among the finest trained killing machines in world.

Reunion

Members of the Banzai Institute are scattered across Malton at this time. Plans to rendezvous and get organized are currently underway, with a tentative meeting point in Roachtown. The current rendezvous point is the Matraves Crescent Police Department [54,31]

20/12/2005: Matraves PD has been lost, and survivors are scattered. Awaiting a new rendezvous point. All survivors are urged to avoid Matraves Crescent PD until the zombies inside leave.

Operation Advance To The Rear

Following a rollicking party in the Matraves Crescent PD, a horde of rude and ill-behaved zombies gate-crashed the place. Citing the poor manners and humorless nature of the undead in the area, The Institute has moved north into Shearbank. Members are currently scattered around the suburb until a safehouse location has been determined. Operations within Roachtown are expected to continute, using Shearbank as a more secure home base.

Operation M.E.A.T.B.A.L.L.S.

On New Years Eve, 2005, Banzai Institute member Eli James procured a table in the Stickling Mall cafeteria and called for attention. He shouted to the assembled masses, "This mall is the last bastion of selfish consumerism and commercial exploitation left to us in Shearbank. It is for these reasons that we value this place above any other. That, and the truly marvelous stockroom at the back of Jerry's Gun Store, but I'm sure that's a secondary reason. No, we really want to defend this place from the uncouth hordes of undead because Stickling Mall represents everything good about human civilization: greed, envy, pride, avarice, and the Western myth that one can find happiness in physical possessions! We cannot let the zombies, the very antithesis of these things, pry our precious mall away from us! This will be our Alamo, friends! We will hold this mall, or we will die! Don't run, don't abandon this place, even if you're the last man alive facing a horde of zombies to make Bruce Campbell cry! WE WILL HOLD!" Following this speech, he belched loudly and did a little dance with his fingers whilst humming an unidentifiable tune. This commenced Operation M.E.A.T.B.A.L.L.S. (Massive Enemy Against Team Banzai, Attack Lest we Lose Stickling).

1/3/2005: Stickling Mall was lost over the course of two days to a 150-zombie horde. Several members of the Institute remain unaccounted for at the present time, and others are confirmed to be undead. Eli James, true to his word, went down swinging his baseball bat at the encroaching horde.

Operation Advance to the Rear (Part Deux)

For lo, the rotting mallrats of Stickling have infested the food court and raided Spencer's Gifts. Banzai alumni now walk/run/shuffle/shamble southward to the safe haven of West Grayside in the hope of a horde-less life full of fruitful encounters with less dangerous undead.

Operation Oh Crap, Not Again

Barely a week after escaping the horrors of Shearbank, the Institute found itself in another besieged neighborhood, that of West Grayside. Although the initial plans were to stay as far away from Pole Mall as possible, Eli James was seen wandering into the building on the afternoon of January 11th in a trance-like state. The current odds on his survival past Friday are thirty-six to one against in the Institute books, with a fifty-dollar bonus if he manages to do something useful in that timeframe. Institute member Spax has also entered the mall, for reasons unknown.

Membership

As it currently stands, this is the roster of the BIfAAW.

Battle Cries

The Banzai Institute is well known for it wide variety of warcries. A few of the more well-known are listed below:

  • Spork!
  • Spoon!
  • Iaznab!
  • Banzai!
  • Give me reasonable concessions in the forseeable future or give me considerable inconvenience!
  • Squee! (NOTE: this is unique to a particular member of the group, known as "Chippy.")
  • Wombats HOOOOOO!!!!
  • I've got marmalade in my panties! (recent reports indicate a drunken medic proclaimed this before charging into a zombie horde. No reports on if he did in fact have marmalade in his panties.)
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