The Bowles Museum

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the Bowles Museum

Heytown [77,33]

Burchall Cinema the Morris Building the Dymond Monument
Woollcombe Way the Bowles Museum Coomb Park
the Self Hotel Demack Way Inder Library

Basic Info:

  • Museums have a wide range of different collections and exhibitions, although previously they were not lootable. Nowadays, different decorative items may be found there.
  • Generally, the descriptions found in Museums fall along the lines of "…currently displaying a(n) exhibition/installation/collection of _____________"
  • Museums can be barricaded normally.


The Bowles Museum
--Sister Katie (talk) 22:44, 11 April 2020 (UTC)



12 January 2009 : Happy New Year ! The Museum is open and kept in good shape !

One room of the museum has been cleared, for the display of a cubist
sculpture, a historical tapestry,  three mediaeval tapestries, a
print of a tapestry, two torn tapestries and a faded tapestry.

You can visit anytime ! It maybe be overbarricaded today, but we'll fix that ! Oh ! And please bring a damn real tree there please !
--GoLookAndKill THCCFT 21:51, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

13 November 2008 : The whole area is under attack. Please come back later if you wanna visit. If you just wanna make some barricade or headshot, I will open the doors for you ;)
--GoLookAndKill 11:27, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

15 October 2008 : The building is Heavily Barricaded, got a generator, a radio transmitter, and 4 or 5 people in it. But, there's no fuel :/ So please refuel this museum ;)
--GoLookAndKill 10:16, 15 October 2008 (BST)

September 15 2008, Currently overbarricaded to EHB. There is a generator set up powering a radio transmitter tuned to 28.91Hz but it is running low on fuel. No zeds seen on way to this location but low groaning heard 2 blocks NW approximately 4 hours ago. --Lt K Gridley 08:54, 15 September 2008 (BST)

As of 30 May, fine. very heavily barricaded. Now has a radio transmitter.

Barricade Policy

Unknown, please discuss it on the talk page

The Bowles Museum

Bowles museum.jpg

Malton's Premier Museum of Peter Bowles

Welcome to the Bowles Museum, located on the east side of Malton at (77, 33) in the suburb of Heytown. Thank you for visiting us - it's been a little quiet in here since the quarantine. Perhaps that's because of all the Chippendales piled in the foyer. We do our best to keep the place modestly barricaded, just enough to keep out the philistine hordes, but Matilda has been known to get overzealous on occasion when the brutes start their moaning.

Now that you've made it inside, why not take a look around.

To The Manor Born Wing

One of the museum's larger collections of Bowles ephemera.

The Tweed Jacket Room Here you will find one of our star exhibits - an original tweed jacket still containing traces of Penelope Keith's foundation powder. The jacket, dating from 1979, is of Gieves & Hawkes, Oxford Street manufacture. It was made for Mr. Bowles and funded by the BBC. Displayed alongside the jacket is the original invoice, signed by the producer of "To the Manor Born", Gareth Gwenlan. When the jacket was beqeuathed to the museum, the pockets contained the following items which we are proud to display in humidity-controlled cabinets alongside the Jacket itself:
Item (a): A monogrammed ("P") hankerchief which has been DNA matched to Angela Thorne's (Marjory Frobisher's) sweat, amongst others.
Item (b): A calling card for "Mandy New In Town!" for which the number is now sadly unobtainable (pre London dialling code change).
Item (c): A used condom.
It is rare to find such a jacket in this condition, most of them having been laundered.

Antiques Row The corridor which takes you back to the main concourse contains a selection of real and replica antiques used in furnishing The Lodge (kindly on loan from the BBC Props Department in Shepherd's Bush, England).

The Sartorial Manor Room Nestling next to the painted backdrop that can be seen through the windows of The Lodge is Peter's collection of cufflinks. This collection was almost lost in 1993 when Peter sold them to fund a particularly unpleasant marsupial habit. Thankfully, an anonymouse donor secured them on behalf of the museum and they are now displayed alongside several unused collar studs, and a tie pin (private collection). We are currently pleased to host the travelling exhibition of Peter's Moustaches which is touring Peter Bowles Museums worldwide before returning to it's home of the Victoria & Albert Museum in London.

The Hospital Wing

Amusingly laid out along the lines of a late 1970's NHS Hospital, the Hospital Wing is unique in Malton.

Matron's Office Themed in the classic "Only When I Laugh!" style, you will notice our central "Matron's Office" contains a revolutionary new work by Tracy Emin: The Made Bed. Strictly tucked in, smelling of carbolic soap, and with knife-edge creases this bed harkens back to the days of properly-run UK hospitals before the cleaning contracts were privatised. Why not take a pair of our complimentary white gloves and run your finger across the top of the door frame?

The Ward Gallery Meet our four animatronic stars in this interactive exhibition. Chat to James Bolam (Roy Figgis), Christopher Strauli (Norman Binns) or the man himself Archie Glover... or perhaps you'd like to list your ailments to irascible Doctor Gordon Thorpe played by an animatronic Richard Wilson. Sadly, this exhibition is closed due to lack of electricity. We respectfully ask that visitors take care - it is easy to confuse the animatronic models with wandering zombies. Due to the lack of lootable silicone rubber and theatrical paint, we ask that you do not use the models for target practice until quarantine is lifted.

The Green Wing

Ah well now, Slipper is a contrary little man, and never duly sober.

Welcome to the rolling green fields of Ireland - well, at least some of it! We have specially imported the green green grass of West Ireland to provide some authenticity to the Green Wing. Stepping past the ornamentalist Leprechaun fountain you can visit the three galleries that radiate outwards:

The Irish RM Gallery Take a look through our rare collection of Somerville & Ross 1st Editions in the R.M. Library, or try on a Bowles-esque trilby and bowler in our R.M. Dressing Up Box (not suitable for children over 5). You can also try getting lost in our "Irish Legal Maze", just like Major Sinclair Yeates! Don't worry, a quick pull on the "Whisky Me Outta Here!" ropes dotted around the maze, and you'll be out in time for boiled beef, cabbage and potatoes. Or something.

The R.M. Theatre shows popular episodes on the hour. Closed due to lack of electricity. Please do not "tag" the screen as we hope to re-establish these shows in the near future for the good of a recovering Malton.

Walk of Fame Join Peter in a retrospective of his other acheivements. Marvel at such small-part wonders as "My time with Rumpole", "Executive Stress: I was the other Donald Fairchild", and "Penny for the Guy: The Perfect Scoundrel". Not to mention the 'arresting' "Passport to Murder Black Museum".

The Taste of Excitement Tired? Footsore? Why not visit our restaurant themed on Peter's 1969 appearance as Alfredo Guardi in this little known thriller. Choose from a selection of Southern French specialities cooked by our chef Ren�e Bourgoise. Specials change daily. Dare you try our cocktails? "The Taste Of Excitement" will be closed during the quarantine. There is no Claret left in the cellar, so don't bother looking - plus, the Somellier is still down there somewhere.

Museum Directorate

Sir Emmanuel Christian-Horse Museum Director

Professor Heironymouse Kambala-Kambala Senior Moustache Curator

Doctor Lappet Faced-Vulture Tweeds Curator

Esmerelda Lampoon Script Restorations Bint

Havathon Minsk Collections Director

Rainbow Unicorn Moonchild Public Relations Manager

Renee Bourgoise Catering Manager

Supporters of the Museum

The Bowles Museum would like to thank the members of the Malton Ladies Circle for their kind work in raising funds for the restoration of the 1/80th scale model of The Grantleigh Estate.

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