The Crabapple Estate

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The Crabapple Estate
Abbreviation: Why abbreviate?
Group Numbers: 4 members (the family) plus relatives
Leadership: Lord Crabapple
Goals: To live well on the estate, continuing and upholding the traditions of previous generations.
Recruitment Policy: There can be no recruitment to the family. The Crabapples breed well and His Lordship looks forward to the next glorious heir. Particularly entertaining guests may be listed as associates, and there are always vacancies for new servants
Contact: Invitation only.


The Crabapple estate can be found in West Boundwood and is centred around Crabapple Manor, also known as The Pearl Arms. Buildings on the estate include: The Crabapple Brewery (Bowdage Auto Repair), Crabapple Manor Gift Shop (Lowther Lane Fire Station), Crabapple Family Museum (the Overton Museum), Crabapple Family Chapel (St Ethelbert's Church). Events have dictated that property prices are so low in the Malton area that a number of other choice properties have also been purchased, to add to the Estate, including the Crabapple Shrine (Cowen Road Fire Station), Pink Crabapple Temple (the Lax Museum), Pink Crabapple Pleasure House (the Humpfries Arms)

Although the estate is private property visitors and tenants are welcome as long as they do not kill other guests and do not use foul and abusive language (especially when there are ladies present).

Earth.jpg Where is Malton?
The Crabapple Estate thinks that Malton is In North Yorkshire, in what used was once part of the constituency of Lord Crabapple right next to where Little Flumpton-on-the-Nook used to be.

The Crabapple Family

The roots of the Crabapple family tree stretch back to Germany. It is a wide and fruitladen tree with more than its fair share of rotten apples. More than one of the family can be found in and around the estate or in the suburb of West Boundwood. It is hard for the Crabapple enthusiast to work out the relationship between various Crabapple family members. For a start there are the German Crabapples, the Latin Crabapples and of course given the current unique situation the long dead Crabapples who have returned to their ancient manor house only to find it's been turned into a public house.

Family Members

Extended family

Good grooming.jpg Good Grooming
This user or group practices good grooming habits, and recommends that other Malton survivors do too.

Friends and Servants

The Crabapples have many friends from all classes and backgrounds, admittedly the friends from the lower classes are paid and not usually allowed to speak in the company of the Lord and are better described as servants or minions.

The Crabapple Estate prides itself on being open to anyone with a good sense of humour and a liking for fine wines and beers. There is no dictatorship here; each individual is free to express themselves, to dance, sing and make merry. As a result of this casual and joyful existance Crabapples friends and servants are loyal to the old man and have been known to get rid of the odd dead tart found in the Billiard room after a party.

Notable guests


The anarchists mistakenly believe Lord Crabapple to have some sort of control over a large group of people. While Lord Crabapple knows as many as 30 people in the city he does not control them or have any influence over them. Pressure is being placed upon these individuals to form a group to counter act the terrorism inflicted upon them.

Some of the employees of the Crabapples are members of the subgroup known as the Boundwood Bounders

Relations with other groups


Crabapple is a friendly outgoing chap with a keen eye for the single lady and is always ready for some manly horse-play with any young lad who drops in. That said not everyone likes Lord Crabapple and he has been executed in the past.

Note:Lord Crabapple has been slandered on the internet. The Lord is unaware of this as he is unaware of the internet. If asked he would speculate it being a new type of fishing equipment.


Local mobs of anarchists have executed Lord Crabapple and his guests for being less welcoming to some guests. While Lord Crabapple can tolerate good humoured roughhousing he does not like murder and bad language that these types use. Although the Lord is a Tory at heart he did have some respect for the local socialist group whom he felt had a better standard of education than the mob of ruffians who profess to be anarchists. The Socialists do not use foul language and this is appreciated.

Teacup.jpg Etiquette
This user or group supports etiquette.

Age-old negotiations with MAF were long ago moved to The Crabapples and MAF negotiations page


Recent actions indicate that a group of murderous celebrity lookalikes have taken exception to the Crabapples, perhaps percieving quality and refinement so far beyond them that they cannot imitate its perfection. They are considered with the pity and abhorence their state inspires in those of a civilized nature.


The Badmen, on the other hand, have long been held to be a more civilized and reasonable bunch of chaps, always up for a party, and somewhat less inclined towards lengthy marxist diatribes. Relations have generally been genial, and occasionally co-operative. There has been some strain put on this peaceful co-existence at various points, as even the Badmen have been drawn unwillingly into local politics, and appear to be somwhat put out by the kerfuffle. Issues with Pkers sometimes draw the Crabapples and Badmen together, or drive further rifts between them, depending upon whether the relevant parties got out of the right side of the bed that morning or not....

Public Services

Other groups the Crabapples have also had genial relationships with include those surrounding local police stations and the nearby hospital.

Several members of the estate have been known to enjoy congenial society with the keepers and attractions of Malton City zoo.

Thinkingmonkey.jpg Friend Of The Zoo
The Thinking Monkey brings luck to friends of the Malton City Zoo!


June 2015

Has it been so long? Rumours.... rumours of the Lord remain...... yet evil Assassins imitating the mighty family still maintain more active presence than the family itself.... German relative Harald von Holzapfel, freshly returned from writing volume 63.3.4 of his memoirs back in his Manse in Baden Baden Baden Baden, is in the preocess of checking up on the family business interests

August 2011

Again, the Estate has been reclaimed, Sir Basil and Harald von Holzapfel are in attendance.... for some reason, someone has been advertising King Crabapples loathsome imposter name as if he were known to be active, oddly considering Crabapple Jellymaker is clearly the underhand handpuppet zerg hounding the noble family at the moment.... on top of this, a group of insects seem to be attempting to claim portions of the estate as if it were their own - the nerve of these lower lifeforms!

May 2011

Oh, the heroism, the epic battles, the relentless tides of undead fiends, the unflagging resilience of the mighty estate! In the depths of zombie Armageddon, yet again, the estate is one of the few to recover swiftly, to fight fight FIGHT!!! The fiends will never... (etc. add continuing superlatives relevant for rousing propaganda according to preference)

January 2011

The manor is retaken, and the members of the estate in residence! Or at least whenever we manage to erradicate the festering, foul fiends for long enough.....

November 2010

It has been a long and painful Autumn! Various members of the estate appear and disappear, like cameo's occasionally threatening to become main characters in a never ending teatime soap opera. The estate islost, retaken, lost and is the process of being taken again, but the manor itself remains in the hands of the undead fiends!

August 2010

Huzzah! For the Lord has returned, and all is merry - light shines on Boundwood once more! Then he goes away again, leaving the land in undead gloom....... but for how long?

May 2010

A lowly group of ruffians using another groups name (Anti-zombie squad) are disturbing the genteel peace of our beloved suburb. Pah! I am sure the good citizens of West Boundwood will not stand for such nonsense!

April 2010

Everything is hunky dory, if a little quiet, on the great estate

January 2010

The estate is once more restored to it's former glory, if still rather understaffed

September 2009

The estate is destroyed, rebuilt, destroyed again etc. etc. the endless cycle of life and undeath! And now, one more slimy sockpuppet murderer - Crabapplejellymaker to plague the righteous!

March 2009

The estate is once again overrun by zombies, hassled by Mr. bat, targetted by pkers, and impersonated by those with poor spelling ability. Na ja!

January 2009

A quiet New Year on the reclaimed Estate

November 2008

As the MAF imagination runs dry, they create doppelgangers of the Crabapple Estate.

Babbette Babe

Lord Crapapple

Harold von Holzapfel

are not genuine Crabapples, and are likely yet another MAF ploy to discredit the group.

Also Ivana Tinkel, Sir Basil Crapapple, etc. ad tedium

October 2008

The estate lies in ruins, and there is little success in rescuing it at the moment

Early August 2008

The Estate has again been under siege for some time by the ravening hordes of the lower classes (or zombies, as they're known these days), but with lip firmly stiff and and backs set straight, we can stand the burden, further dealing with whatever added strain is added by our very bitter enemies and their pker puppets. Congenial guests, as ever, will be made welcome with tea and biscuits, or good Crabapple ale, if the brewery is functioning at the time (and the manor is simultaneously free of zombie peasants)

Late July 2008

Spotted another communist pker zerg to be! - check this out! Crabapple Jellymaker

July 2008

The Estate has been reclaimed by the family!

Late June 2008

Finally, the terrorist bounders were driven from the Pearl Arms, but too late! The zombie hordes had arrived, and the damage done by the terrorists meant there was little time to prepare to fend off the undead! Again, the proud estate lies in the hands of the enemy!

Early June 2008

The estate continues to be assaulted by violent communists

May 2008

The estate is reclaimed, and a number of notable guests begin to appear - only to suffer assault at the hands of the imposter King Crabapple! Shortly after the appearance of his blatant sockpuppet, nasty MAF Pker Elias Taylor appears, and dares to set foot in Crabapple manor. He is quickly despatched, but more lefties arrive and go on to infest the estate, like worms in a prime rump steak!

April 2008

A bunch of guests return to the Estate to see whats happening - not much, as it happens! So, they get drunk, only to be assaulted by the local undead peasantry, who then start putting a load of rubbish on the West Boundwood page. They're almost as bad as the commies!!! The guests lie on the floor and nurse hangovers and zombie bites.....

Late March 2008

The estate was deserted, along with the rest of the suburb, to the zombies. The estate was reclaimed, and refurbished, but alas! Only the manor now stands as the zombies invade once more.

January 2008

There is still little in the way of organized activity on the part of the Estate.

November 2007

Not much happening here, I'm afraid. The wind whistles through the manor, cobwebs grow on the suits of armour in the hallway, grafitti is left on the gates, slandering the glorious house, and the beds are not being made.... most of the holiest family on Earth (in the universe!) are asleep, hibernating, and the remainder are either hunting bats, poor impersonators, or a good party in neighbouring buildings..... oh where is the glorious Lord? Where oh where and when will he return again! Despair not my friends, for although the temps are doing a particularly poor job, the brewery is still stocked with slow brewing classics, and the family will return in force when... er, when.... when? It is not for you to ask! Who can make demands of this glorious house!?! Coach parties are recommended to leave their calling cards and telephone numbers, and the Crabapple shop is offering products by mail order (when the idea of dealing financially in a vitual world was suggested to the glorious Lord, he shot the servant in the foot for suggesting dealing with imaginary money. The further mention "entering the 20th century at least" was met with rage, violence, and banishment - I mean, really!)

October 2007

King Crabapple has resumed assaulting the family he impersonates, and property disputes,this time with Bat Country, also appear to be occurring

September 2007

Ah, well, that's all better isn't it? After scattering to the 4 winds like leaves from a particularly fine (crabapple) tree, the family and their chums returned to West Boundwood again! Armed, cautious, ready to die fighting the hordes of Extinction which at one point were allegedly awaiting for them in their ancestral home they found.... well, not much - a few lonely docile zombie children abandoned by their zombie mother and a zombie chicken in a basket was all that was there (or something like that) - the chicken was cooked by servants and eaten by the returning family. More zombies have arrived subsequently, and things have returned to normal, with the Badmen slowly reappearing, Field Marshall Hawk reinstalled in Dorothy Police Department, and the reappearence of threatening grafitti from some nefarious, unknown, but probably cowardly communist source. Hurrah! Chin Chin!

August 2007

The Family and their friends have returned again, after hunting the local impersonator for a couple of months. Just in time for a new siege from the corrupted dead! Internal conflict over the suspect Japanese whores frequenting the grounds continue, including a sporadic trial of a particularly outraged long term guest. Towards the end of the month, hell-spawned ghouls succeed in infiltrating and ruining the Manor, eating most of the group while they are asleep, still nursing hangovers from the excesses of the night before.

How rude! And very inconvenient! The nerve of these flesh-eating hell-spawned cadavars!

July 2007

While half of the Estate disappear hunting vermin, Lord Crabapple disappears, apparently hunting Giant Leeches, rumoured to be the only cure for his 8 month headache. In the meantime, he has also been nominated for the Council of leaders. Meanwhile, as various regular staff are absent, the maintenance of the estate falls largely to temps, culled from the millions applying to work in the service of the great Lord, usually for little more pay than several crusts of bread and a cup of small beer a day and a stroke of the the foot of the throne of the Lord once every 10 years (if they're lucky!)

Mid-June 2007

All is not harmonious in Crabapple manor! Internal argument over The Lords generous extension of greeting to a couple of friendly ladies, together with disputes between family and employees, and accusations of cowardice in the face of zombie invasion result in threats, execution and the spillage of both blood and good ale. On the other hand, relations with the Badmen appear to be improving, and the Estate as a whole is enjoying hunting down the local imposter as a refreshing variation on killing zombies.

Early June 2007

Lord Crabapple has finally returned to mortal form!!!! In between being assaulted by crazed fan and frustrated imitator King Crabapple, the Estate have been busy offering their worship and praise to the restored Lord. ALL are welcome to come and worship! Hurrah again!

May 2007

The MAF have finally officially removed their filthy presence from West Boundwood, their every attempt at domination of the estate having been thwarted at every turn by the sheer stalwart resilience of the mighty Crabapples! Hurrah!

Several members of the family (and their friends) decide to take time out from fighting off zombie hordes and extremist terrorists and visit Malton City zoo. A good time is had by all who manage to remain through several zombie assaults, and the genial entertainment provided by the zoo indicates that civil behaviour (albeit, in this case, often exhibited by beasts) can flourish despite constant threat of engulfment by undead flesh eaters!

Harald von Holzapfel finally satisfies his honour in punishing verminous Elias Taylor a second time for his evil actions, with the response that Elias's zerging alt. King Crabapple once more assaults the Crabapples, starting 1 day later. As is normal, Emelio Libertanje found Harald first, and is again the probable source of Elias's information for the location of Harald

April 2007

Joy of joys! The glorious Crabapples and their merry chums have returned to West Boundwood, like the sun after a lengthy storm. The area is still unstable, their efforts to restore the grandest suburb in Malton are hampered as usual by assaults from MAF, and/or those claiming to be the same, who, like heartburn after a 15 course banquet, persist in irritating the great and the good in the name of their poxy revolution

Meanwhile, Lord Crabapple has been nominated to be mayor of Malton. All those who have faith in all that is good and holy and CRABAPPLE should vote today, and perhaps we can put an end to oppression, horror, and poverty! Or, as is more likely, at least improve brewing facilities throughout the City.....

Late March 2007

Horror of horrors! The estate is beset, besieged and a little bit b*****ed! A vast onslaught of the undead flesh eaters have swept through West Boundwood, murdering its many decent upstanding citizens (and some communists too). The Crabapples and their stalwart chums are either stood at local revive points patiently waiting for normal public (revive point) services will be resumed, have gone farther afield seeking active bar service, or are lurking around trying to make the brewery to function again, before their personal store of top notch Crabapple Beer runs out.....

January 2007

Pker pandemonium! Possible MAF and murderer collusion! A declaration of war from the same terrorists! Suspicious fellas looking rather cadaverous, with the flesh of recent victims still hanging from their mouths, and scented as of the grave loitering on the manor grounds!

In other news, the development of the Pink Crabapple Temple and pleasure rooms is coming on rather well. A couple of well appointed and heavily referenced ladies have been employed to act as hostesses in the vicinity, to provide excellent services to satisfy every weary traveller.

Eh, what? Rather!

Mid December 2006

As the season continues, the festive juices running through the extremeties of every good Crabapple runs a little colder, for it is realized.... our Lord is dead. Dead! Dead! Oh woe! Strucken to the core, the Crabapple Estate all realize what must be done..... a memorial! A testimony to His might! A signal to the world that nobility had a face, and that face was.... LORD CRABAPPLE! With not a moment but to steel themselves for the task with a quick drink, the friends, relatives and servants of the most noble of Lords begin to prepare.... a memorial testimony worthy of HIS name!!!

In the interest of supporting the Crabapples latest endeavor, their legal representatives have found that property prices in Malton have suffered considerably as a result of undead invasion, and have taken the opportuntity to purchase a number of properties for the Estate within West Boundwood, as well as a few choice little numbers for the purposes of their own financial benefit (buy-to-let, anyone? Is it a crime? Apparently not!)

Early December 2006

As the Yuletide season grows upon us, the Crabapples and their friends return to the manor and its environs. Harrassed by the terrorist Elias Taylor, the happy household of the Crabapples soldiers on regardless, putting up with the many assaults of PKing MAF terrorist Elias Taylor, with the same stalwart spirit of a marathon runner plagued by a gammy leg. The mistletoe is up, the barrels are ordered, and allowing for the occasional inconvenience of zombie and terrorist assaults, a jolly Christmas is expected to be had by all! Hurrah!

Early November 2006

Dark days again in the manor! Following the break up of negotiations, the manor is breached several times by zombies, and dastardly MAF member Elias Taylor initiated an ungentlemanly plot to rewrite history to defame the Crabapples! The nerve of these terrorists! Luckily, the Crabapple Lawyers step in, to defend the family name (although, as the campaign becomes involved, it is feared the lawyers, as is their wont, stoop almost as low as the terrorists!) If this is not bad enough, the I.U.S.S. take appalling advantage of the kerfuffle to redesign their barricade plan to register the manor as an open house! The nerve! As the zombie incursions into the manor increase, doubtless aided by the misleading barricade plan of the I.U.S.S., the manor is rendered unsafe, and the Estates ability to contribute to their efforts against the zombies within West Boundwood is heavily reduced. Many of the residents, to avoid further irritating political confrontation with the terrorists, march off to war to face the zombies on the front line, whilst several residents are moved to remain in the area to battle the zombies. Appalled by continuing actions undertaken by MAF against the good Lord Crabapple or residents at the estate, several of those remaining have been distracted from their fight against the encroaching zombie hordes, and have sought revenge against the MAF on an individual basis. For all, the fight against the zombies, hindered by terrorism, continues.

And another 3 coach tours have been cancelled! Sightseeing pensioners everywhere are outraged!

Late October 2006

The Crabapples return! The Lord has manfested himself once more in the manor! Festivities abound! A bunch of noisesome terrorist types try and break up the fun with the need to get down to negotiations regarding their desire for the manor to be handed over for their use (or some such), but by the time the Crabapples begin to tire of singing hymns in praise of their Lord, all but one of the terrorists had departed. Come back! The twenty seventh course is yet to arrive! Cheese and biscuits!

The frivolties, sadly, eventually declined under the weight of heavy idealist mantra, provided in generous portions, by the returning terrorists. The discussions ended in violence, apparently, instigated by a member of MAF upon another guest at the manor. Other members of MAF apologised, however, and it would appear zombies may assault again! The good Lord arrived late, in good humour, and eager to resume festivities, so, for the moment, all would appear to be well! Further news, and further discussion at the The Crabapples and MAF negotiations page

Early October 2006

The manor has unfortunately had to be temporarily vacated as a result of a rather inconvenient infestation by zombies. Sadly, several of Crabapples many friends, relatives and associates were harshly manhandled by aggressive ruffian zombie types, and are somewhat afflicted themselves. As a result, we're currently trying to get the cleaners in, but there seems to be a dashed long waiting list, which means the Crabapples and friends (or at least those not inconvenienced by ill health and the discrimination of local ruffians) are temporarily relocated to nearby luxury accomodation, returning regularly to cull the zombie infestation and have a quick sherry or two.

We apologise for the inconvenience. We've already had to cancel 2 coach tours! Imagine! And the local ruffians have smeared the mansion with tasteless graffiti! Some people have no respect for their betters....

Crabapple impostors

Imitation is usually considered the best form of flattery, but recent events indicate that may have extended their fandom to the unfortunate extremes of murderous jealousy! It is unsure whether all of these murderers are down-at-heel celebrity imitators or agents of the MAF terrorist group, but they are considered damned rude and somewhat lacking in basic etiquette skills. The actions of such villains are not to be considered to represent the Crabapple Estate, their friends, relatives, interests or views. Many are suspected to be members of the Red Rum society of murderers.

Crabapple imitators:

King Crabapple (not a member of the Crabapple Estate - probably the sockpuppet of either Elias Taylor, another member of a leftie group, or possibly even an antipathic Badman. Or possibly all three!)

Born Evil (not a member of the Crabapple Estate) [1] [2]

(the latter also responsible for some excruciatingly pretentious prose)

LinaSassaFrass (not a member of the Crabapple Estate) [3]

Other murderers of their betters likely to be related to the above include:


Tuttle Freely (presumably not a member of the IUSS) [4]

Map of the Crabapple family estate

The Suburb of West Boundwood
Exell Cinema Wilkes Boulevard Leaves Avenue Dalley Drive Train Row Police Department the Purt Motel Club Lenton New Auto Repair Madill Towers St. Marcellin's Church
Yeatman Boulevard Fire Station Cribb Cinema Club Gaze Seaward Road Guttridge Park a carpark Lavor Park Pyncombes Plaza Gapper Street Tigwell Street
Jacquet Way the Lombard Monument Club Hannam the Sandy Building the Every Building the Fowle Museum Godfry Street Clement Park Coole Avenue the Hamlin Building
Estlin Square the Dalgliesh Monument Crost Avenue Dorothey Plaza Police Department St. Andrew's Church a cemetery Club Cranfield Maskell Plaza the Pepperell Monument the Fowles Museum
wasteland Liminton Plaza the Badman Building Neot General Hospital Bowerman Way a carpark Game Bank a factory the Read Museum Hartleys Lane
Pink Crabapple Temple Crabapple Shrine Crabapple Family Chapel Crabapple Manor Crabapple Family Museum Ashcroft Way Shire Crescent Bozon Road School the Pridham Building Woolf Park
Pink Crabapple Pleasure House wasteland Wilsdon Row Crabapple Brewery Crabapple Family Gift Shop the Lapley Building Caffin Street the Edgar Museum St. Francis's Church a junkyard
Purnell Avenue the Cowie Museum Whelton Row the Brandon Building Coate Boulevard School a junkyard St. Columba's Hospital St. Wulfstan's Church a cemetery Wickstead Cinema
Ivyleafe Row Police Department Bessant Auto Repair Club Backholer the Brundrit Building Cooling Avenue Blandy Avenue Lyne Road Reaston Plaza Bromwich Cinema Abot Drive
Nikolai General Hospital Boulting Avenue Durston Walk School the Haskett Building Eaglesfield Library Self Avenue the Goodridge Building the Longman Monument Dolling Road wasteland
Red Mage.gif Roleplaying Notice
Notice: This User or Group enjoys the RPG aspect of MMORPGs, the category of games that Urban Dead falls into. As such, there is probably quite a bit of roleplaying and/or creative writing on this page and in said User/Group's in-game actions. In other words, if you think the difference between IC and OOC is "One has an 'I' and the other has two 'O's," buzz off.

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