The Evangelical Order of the Return to Eden/Teachings

The CHAIN OF LIFE has been broken! This is THE GOOD NEWS! Follow our TEACHINGS, and SPREAD them FAR and WIDE!

Great Teachings

You ARE a PROPHET! Spread the GOOD NEWS about our RETURN TO EDEN! Preach it to MORTALS! Preach it to SACRED IMMORTALS! Preach it across the airwaves! Scribe it across walls and billboards for all to see! Preach it in FORUMS and on MAILING LISTS! Spread the WORD far and wide, that ALL might come to know it! However, OUT OF PLACE preaching is to be avoided. Those who we anger will be DIFFICULT to CONVERT.
Should you DIE: Do not seek REBIRTH! Revel in your SACRED IMMORTAL FORM! Spread the WORD! Eat of the FLESH of your brethren without GUILT!
Should you be REBORN: Do not jump from a window! Revel in your REBIRTH! Spread the WORD! Seek out the HOLY ELIXIR that others may be reborn!
Do not FAVOR one existence over the OTHER, for both are necessary parts of the GRAND CYCLE! You may seek to temporarily remain mortal, as it is easier to SPREAD our teachings in that form, and you may seek to temporarily remain a SACRED IMMORTAL, as that form is free from pain, but never forget that you are a part of the GRAND CYCLE!
Returners are BOUND to the SACRED COALTION, and those found violating that HOLY PLEDGE will be EXPELLED from the Order until such time as they have been deemed to have FULLY repented of their CRIMES and changed their EVIL WAYS!

All inhabitants of NEW EDEN, whether SACRED IMMORTAL or mere mortal, whether a BELIEVER in the GRAND CYCLE or a violent heretic, are your friends, for in NEW EDEN all beings will ETERNALLY COEXIST. Be sure to address others as "FRIEND" whenever possible, in order to CONVEY your friendship to them.
REFRAIN from delaying the TURNING of the ETERNAL WHEEL by giving medical assistance, save only to GAIN experience in order to FURTHER the aims of the order, and even then DO SO with a HEAVY HEART.
The HOLY ELIXIR is a great GIFT, and should be shared with our FRIENDS whenever possible.
MERCIFUL violence and barricade destruction are permitted, for BLESSED are those that AID their brethren along the PATH of the DIVINE CIRCLE.
Attack not the SACRED IMMORTALS, as doing so is an AFFRONT to them and a waste of TIME that could be spent delivering the message of our RETURN.
SMASH NOT the BLESSED generator and radio transceiver, unless you REALLY want to, for these are TOOLS that can AID us.

Use of the term 'Zombie' by mortals is disrespectful to SACRED IMMORTAL BEINGS, and is to be AVOIDED.
Brain Rot is an UNHOLY disease which interrupts the GRAND CYCLE of death and rebirth. Firefox-using Returners should note the MIGHTY "Hide Brain Rot" CHECKBOX of the udtoolbar.
Use gratuitous and ANNOYING amounts of UPPER-CASE characters and EXCLAMATION MARKS, as it helps us project a KOOKY, cult-like AURA!