The Ffych Building

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The Ffych Building
--Sister Katie (talk) 00:07, 17 February 2020 (UTC)
the Ffych Building

Foulkes Village [7, 83]

a factory the Dwyer Monument a junkyard
Reakes Grove the Ffych Building Naisbitt Library
Davy Drive Biffen Lane Holdoway Drive

Basic Info:

The Ffych Building


The Ffych Building spire was a Village landmark.

A small grey-stone building with a spired roof.


Built on the resting place of Friar Ffrydrych Ffych, first freeman of Foulkes Village (as recorded in the Domesday Book), the Ffych Building was a much-loved landmark of Foulkes Village, but also one which housed many secrets.

Ffych was not only a friar and holy man of the parish, attached to St Aelred's Church in the late 11th century, but a devotee of esoteric religious rites. It is thought that these combined half-forgotten pagan rituals with eastern holistic medicine and meditation, and connections with Freemasonry have been drawn. Whatever the truth may be, it is certain that Brother Ffych attracted a cult following, and the greeting of brotherhood they adopted after the death of their leader - "Ffych You!" - is still echoed by people across the Anglo-Saxon world, although its meaning has altered with the passing of time.

Ffych practised the laying on of hands for healing purposes, and encouraged open mixing between men and women in his cult. Nubile virgins were particularly welcome in his group, although they are not known to have been sacrificed as was the case in pagan times; rather, they were used in obscure cleansing rituals to ensure Ffych was purified of unclean thoughts.

Ffych is thought to have amassed considerable worldly wealth through donations, and the Domesday Book itself notes that he owned over 20 fine donkeys and counted a dozen maydeservantes of comelych face among his retinue - highly unusual for a monk. The group continued to attract new followers, drawn by his public exhortations to caste off ye chaynes and clothys of sinne, and be borne anew as nakyd and pure as an babye. Eventually his cult caught the attention of Pope Brian VI, who sent Cardinal Eric to investigate. When Eric himself joined the cult, the fanatically orthodox Cardinal Xavier was sent in turn. Xavier recommended the cult be excommunicated; Ffych himself was burnt at a stake where the Ffych Building's spire now stands, and his ashes were interred directly after the auto da fe.

This incident - known to Villagers as The Night of a Thousand Flames - is believed to have been the last official intervention by The Spanish Inquisition in Malton affairs, until their return after the outbreak of zombie heresy.

The Inquisition's arrival ended the cult's Ffyching around.

The Ffych Building was used by both the Women's Institute and the Ffree Maltonians secret society. A statue of Ffych stood in the portico, and infertile women flocked from across Malton to rub his tonsure in the belief that this would promote pregnancy.

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