Minions of the Apocalypse
|Minions of the Apocalypse|
|Leadership:||DeadSpawner (Acting Horde Leader)|
|Goals:||The End of All Life|
|Recruitment Policy:||Accepting Applications|
The End Is Coming!
Our goal and driving motivation since our founding members shuffled unsteadily one by one out of the dark places and bloody feeding grounds from which they had been called into St. Lazarus's Church that dark day so many months ago has been simple: the death of all living things. It's an epic undertaking, we know, but time has always been on the side of the Undead, and we're very, very patient.
Civilization has reached an end here in Malton, and although the fear of the new world that is at hand inspires much hostility from those small-minded few who would hold on to the dying past rather than embrace this change in the world as natural and inevitable, we will continue to work tirelessly to enlighten these poor 'breathers' even as they hide their fragile flesh behind walls of boards and furniture...
Because in the final summary, it's really all about the end of all life on the planet AND TEH BRAAIIINNNSSSS!!!
Who are we?
MotA is one of the oldest metagaming groups in Urban Dead, founded on September 16, 2005 by an undying hero of the zombie revolution named Zedd, and dedicated to the advancement of the Undead cause one living brain at a time. Hardly a day goes by that we don't consume some brains, as barricades fall easily when attacked by several zombies simultaneously. One of the strengths of the MotA is its organization. The MotA were at the original Caiger Mall siege, as well as Caiger II: Electric Boogaloo, the Dia De Los Muertos Massacre of Giddings Mall, the routing of the Malton Confederacy, the Big Bash, and too many other great parties to count, and have continued our unrelenting mayhem since then with regular daily attacks on the humans wherever they may lurk. Our ranks are open to any dedicated zombie player, regardless of skill level or the length of time they have been undead, as long as they are willing to put in the effort to attend attacks on time. For fledgling corpses starving for brains, we have hand-delivered hot meals for anyone present at feeding time. Even the toughest breather will be clawed and mauled to perfection, then shelled from their cozy fortresses while you wait. Older zombies will no doubt enjoy a relaxing dinner chat in our private IRC room while discussing the relative qualities of chewy and tough veteran Zombie Hunters versus the comparatively huge and well-marbled brains prised from the skulls of Scientists.
If you are tired of a solitary existance lurching slowly from barricade to barricade, join our fast-moving team of insatiably hungry predators and start making a difference in the war on life. Many thousands of humans have breathed their last with the gurgling roar of “M!N!ANZ! echoing in their ears as our Horde moved in. - JOIN US...
Here is our recruitment page advert.
What do we believe?
The Minions of the Apocalypse hold the utmost respect for Malton and almighty Kevan's rules:
- 1. Minions only have ONE character active in the horde; zerging is not tolerated. This includes no utilization of information scouted by an "alt". If you don't like that, we will eat you and your "alt". Repeatedly.
- 2. When revived, Minions will not PK. The ONLY exception to this rule is in cases where former zombies have gone insane with rage and shot the scientist responsible for bringing them personally back to painful, hideous life. No other kills of humans while living are condoned by the Horde.
- 3. In regards to other activities while alive, zombies from the Minions of the Apocalypse may use their newly acquired agility when forced back to the world of the living to:
- Briefly step into the present safehouse for a look around. (We find this to be the perfect opportunity to spread our cheerful message of imminent doom and unending horror to mankind before returning to Undeath.)
- Collect a flak jacket or pick up the body building skill.
- Spray a friendly message to the grazing human herds or local disorganized shamblers.
- 4. Afterward, it is the responsibility of all Minions to return to Undeath as quickly as possible, whether through suicide or the gracious feeding of the horde, since Minions find that there is no greater joy than returning your brother or sister to our ranks of Undead through a delicious sampling of cerebrum and cerebellum.
- We ask that our members NOT gather information on other potential targets while alive. (As the Free Running skill makes it far too easy to proceed from one building to the next.) MotA believes that part of the fun in being a zombie is the suspense while breaching an unexplored building, and discovering a waiting meal of terrified breathers huddled inside...
Liber Mortis (Book of the Dead)
Eating brains is it's own reward, but members of the UD community have also awarded us:
- Deadliest Small Horde at the Brainies on March 19, 2007. We were given a golden brain. You can look at it but don't touch it, we're saving it for a special occasion.
- Gold Brain for Horde Efficiency at the Malton Special Olympics on August 1st, 2007. We amassed more kills, broken barricades, and ransacks per member than any other zombie horde in Malton.
- Bronze Intestine for Overall Horde Points at the Malton Special Olympics on August 1st, 2007. We came in third in the total number of points.
Unlike other stationary undead hordes, the Minions of the Apocalypse are actively touring around Malton to best pursue our calling. But no matter how far we travel, we occasionally return back to Gulsonside to cleanse the verminous humans that insist on infesting our homeland, (Despite repeated consumption) and to pay our deep respect to the Elders, many of whom have grown too rotten to travel with the horde. Someone has to tend the herds of rats back in the old meeting grounds of St. Lazarus' Church and maintain the sacred bloodstains on the sidewalk outside the Perryn Necrotech Building, and who better then the greying and ancient forms of these legendary terrors?
It has been recently reported that during attacks a hairless rat scours among the corpse piles and body parts, nibbling on the leftovers bits of flesh, severed arms and brains. This is Kanga, the Zombierat, and she has been adopted as Official Minion Mascot. Because of the human infestation in Malton she was forced to scavenge among the dry bones left by zombie raids all across the city trying to get her daily meal of raw meat - but now, thanks to MotA, she is well-fed and growing fatter by the day while feasting on a wide variety of brains and intestines. Kanga represents not only the rats but all of Malton's unique native species such as crows, vultures, feral dogs, flesheating beetles and dozens more... We need YOUR help in keeping these proud and beautiful creatures from dying out completely.
Bizarre Encounters with Humankind
The Minions of the Apocalypse tour the whole of Malton, and encounter thousands of humans. Most are content to search for ammo, polish their guns, organize their closet of trenchcoats, and be a mild nuisance. But just when you think you have these breather's pegged as a uniform mass of cowardly turtles, one will break the mold and something bizarre will happen. Times of great amusement can be had:
- It seems in the middle of zombies killing and maiming, 1/3 of one of the major human Gods stepped forward, and gave his blessing in a way to the job we zombies do day in and out. Keith Moon recorded the following:
- http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=752341 Holy Ghost] said "Zombies, you are forgiven of your sins, for in your current state you know not what you do."
- After pumping one of our active members, Strike Boy, full of bullets, this harman made a valiant stand:
- gosimmons said "Well we're screwed. Let it be known we went down fighting!"
- gosimmons punched you for 1 damage.
- Brainwulfer caught a typical strange comment from a Whiskey Company member, after we had killed several of his friends:
- SWCS9 said "Make sure to wipe your feet when you leave"
- A human named Univest came up with a plan to identify zombies as PKers. Kriege ran into him after being combat-revived, and can be forgiven for expressing his thoughts on this policy:
- You fire at Univest for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.
- Are you sure you want to jump out of a window? This will kill you.
- You fall heavily onto the pavement, a few storeys below.
- Fisty Jones encountered a human with the shortest attention span in the history of the game:
- Agustus said "Holy Crap, don't revive Fisty, he's a member of the Apocalypse...they are a dangerous group, they're might be more of them around."
- Agustus jabbed you (Fisty Jones) in the neck with a syringe, to no effect.
- PublicEnemyNumber1's speeches are so powerful, he easily wins humans over to our side:
- Jugband Jamboree said "Publicenemy and other Minions, I'd like to apologize for my fellow survivors in there. You tried to make polite conversation, and they shot you in response. Simply shameful manners. Best of luck tearing this place apart in retribution."
- One of the brighter minds in Kinch Heights, Nikolai Romanowski proceeded to make a statement to us, perhaps an early campaign promise or something. Speaking to one of our newer members: **"Zombie, you are worthless. Get lost. Do yourself a favor and go to some other suburb. You're simply going to get owned over here. Have a nice day."
(We then slaughtered a few dozen breathers in the days following.)
- The end is DEFINITELY HERE
- Many trials have faced the Apocalypse in recent times
- The Horde has thinned, BUT NO MORE!
- The Horde is gathering, no longer are we scattered across the land.
- The Horde perseveres.
- The Horde grows stronger.
- The Horde grows hungry once again.
- IT IS FEEDING TIME!
- We are amassing, We are recruiting, breathers beware, your time is at an end!
- THE APPOCALYPSE IS NOW!
For the archived attack descriptions of previous months please visit the Archives: Archive 1 (2005-2006), Archive 2 (2006-2007), Archive 3 (2007-2008).