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In a bid to clean up our main page, the events of past years have been archived here.
Pre 2008 Kills: 3553
[edit] 2007 December
A quick lurch into East Grayside brought us to the Angerstein Building. It proved to be tough on the outside, but juicy on the inside. Elder Undeadite Joe Fabulous was heard to say, "Sounds like the Channel 4 News Team has turned into a bunch of nancy-boys. They used be a hard-boiled bunch. Ed Harken, we miss you!" Soon after, the rest of the suburb was emptied of its bra!nz....B!G BAZH ZMAZH!
The hordes have brought total destruction to the harman safe-houses of Wray Heights. Their bra!n cake was saved for a grand victory feast, and the sounds of greedy munching can be heard all the way into Tollyton....which was also very tasty.
We lurched into Gulsonside just it in time to join in the BBII destruction of Blesley Mall. Juicy harmanbargarz were had by all. Now it is time for Osmondville to give up their bra!nz to our undying hunger....
GRAB MAN, MAHG MAN GAG AHN ZAH BANANA, HARM MAN!
Pennville has been crushed as the Undeadites lurch south.
Feeding groans can now be heard from inside Fort Perryn, but we are drawn first to the bra!nz of the Malcolm Building in Whittenside.
Creeping Crud says: "BAH BAH RAHN BARGANZAH" after old enemy Ron Burgundy is discovered cowering inside. His skull is promtly cracked open and his bra!nz sucked out....MMMMmmmm™
Fort Feral is now back in zambah claws after the harmanz put up a pitiful defense. They were consumed in a bloody orgy of death....MARRAH GR!ZMAHZ HARMANZ!
After a quick romp through Miltown for some additional C4NT munching, we shamble north into Fryerbank to join in its destruction - following the sounds of gunfire and screams.
Penny Heights and its malls soon fall silent, and the hordes shamble forward through the ruins.
Houldenbank is now a stinking hell-hole after suffering the final insult of our arrival.... Rnrarrrh!.
Vinetown and Pegton fall under the combined rotting weight of the Second Big Bash. Could we be planning a New Year's Eve bra!n cake party in Fort Creedy? One must wonder....
We suggest that the harmanz stock up on bbq sauce just in case.
Total December Kills: 232
Total December Ruins: 78
[edit] 2007 November
The Undeadites decide to lurk in the area of Tompson Mall while The Second Big Bash circles around. It is soon discovered that the hippies in St. Alexander's Hospital are too toasted to defend themselves. Their bra!nz are juicy sweet.... Rnrarrrh!
The SBB has returned, and after rejoining it, Tompson Mall is once again consumed.
We quickly lurch North into South Blythville for another visit to Marven Mall. Again some serious bra!n cake munching ensues.
Dartside and Kinch Heights soon realize that it is impossible to resist us. Nothing is left of those ruined suburbs but murders of crows pecking on bloody scraps.
West Grayside falls as the hordes feast on the contents of Pole Mall. Distracted by the flash of something shiny to the south, we decide to investigate.
Ah, Wyke Hills - such a tasty place. After a quick romp down along the west side, there appeared before our seeping eyesockets a wondrous place called Buckley Mall. In this bra!n buffet was a gathering of the most docile mrh-cow mallrats we have gorged upon in a long time; almost as scrumptious as the St. Alexander's Hospital defenders were. They were pathetic, hilarious, and sooo delicious! Mwahahahaha!
Total November Kills: 199
Total November Ruins: 60
[edit] 2007 October
As Halloween approaches, the Undeadites sense a change in the air....
It smells like The Second Big Bash!
Galbraith Hills was a salty h'ourderve, and Stanbury Village satisfied our sweet tooth. Now Roftwood will feel our rotting presence as we seek the savory side of unlife!
The horde is restless. Groans from our brazzahz call us to the SW for a feast in Shackleville.
We look forward to sampling the bra!n platters on offer in Tapton as well.
Greentown and South Blythville have been crushed and consumed in a frenzy of bra!n munching..... Rnrarrrh!
Was that Wykewood? We went through that burb so fast that it was all just a bloody blur.
Ruddlebank's bra!ns are quickly devoured as the Undeadites move towards Tompson Mall to join in its Big Bash destruction. Lockettside proper soon drips from our mouths. Barhah!
Total October Kills: 272
Total October Ruins: 50
[edit] 2007 September
Rhodenbank is aiding the ruined suburb of Dulston. They must be destroyed.
- Our undying persistance cannot be resisted, nor our hunger sated. The Devonshire Building joins the growing list of victims that are consumed as we take their greatest weapon against us away from them....their bra!nz!
We had so much fun that we had to return to Dulston; and that means a visit to the Whitlock Building where our constant break-ins for bra!nz spread paranoia and infections amongst the harmanz.
Total September Kills: 245
[edit] 2007 August
Gibsonton is a pitiful place. Best just to put these bra!nbagz out of their misery....and into our stomachs!
We proceed to sweep through their safe-houses like a fetid gale. The sweet smell of fear is in the air, and the Ducat Building NT was particularly juicy. For those of us still with a pallet, a stash of government cheese found in a hidden storeroom is just the thing for cheesebra!nz tartar.
Our frenzied shamble through Gibsonton comes to an end as we lay waste to Mylrea Walk Police Department. There are few things a zambah likes more than a pit stop for bacon flavored bra!n candies.
Pescodside is fated to be our next victim, and suffers greatly when we learn how to ruin buildings. A shattered wasteland is left in our wake as we lurch through the bones of our victims across the entire center of the suburb.
The sound of gunfire and zambah groans to the north betray the presence of many harmanz in Dulston. And where there are bra!nz, we will never be far away. After making some probing attacks, it is now time to seriously dig into this suburb with some good ole' fashioned barhah. We grab Dulston with our rotting fingers, show it our teeth, and then give it a big Undeadite hug!
Treweeke Mall is a stinking charnel house after a ruinous double claw attack by DORIS and their allies, and then by us and our zambah brahzaz from the LUE, Infected Swarm, De-vivification Experts of Malton, Cybele's Shamblers, and others. Rnrarrrh!
Total August Kills: 301
[edit] 2007 July
Fort Creedy July is the month of Judgment!
The Undeadites' rampage throughout Fort Creedy escalates. As survivors are dragged kicking and screaming out of their holes and devoured, our feeding groans attract many hungry mouths to the buffet. Zambahz have been seen staggering around with bellies so full they can barely shamble.
Soon, all of their bra!nz will be ours!
It is done. A river of blood flows out through the gatehouse, and a deathly pall permiates the air. Fort Creedy's infestation has been cleansed. Foolish harmanz.... There can be no victory against us!
But some corner of our mind remembers. Spracklingbank has had its reprieve. They will suffer greatly from the mall's food-court being sweetly silent!
Rnrarrrh!.
After almost 2 weeks of ferocious combat, the harmanz in and around the Craske Triangle have proven to be worthy foes. Their bra!n cake was delicious!
Total July Kills: 115
[edit] 2007 June
Pitneybank suffers under our teeth and claws as the Undeadites devour the hapless harmanz of the Farmer Building NT, seriously hindering their attempts to retake Fort Creedy.
During the bloodbath, new zambahz join the horde. With the area cleansed of breathers,
and the mounds of body parts ground to a putrid mush after the celebration, the scent of fresh
bra!nz wafts to our keen nostrils from the north.
Spracklingbank has been at peace for far too long. Time for the harmanz in Cornelius General Hospital to feel the Barhah!
Creeping Crud says:
"Grab Ganarazahz! Zmazh Ganarazahz!" Harman residents of the hospital are very concerned about his wanton acts of destruction and call for his death. Unfortunatly for them, he already is.
An echoing chorus of groans have signaled the urge to go south once again to feed. Half remembered words from an old and gore covered hand-held radio speak of a coming bra!n feast to be had in Fort Creedy. Those of us who crave MREs cannot resist returning to consume the bra!n candy that the harmanz have so thoughfully restocked for us.
Total June Kills: 164
[edit] 2007 May
Pegton still being the prime focus of the Undeadites' activity, they began to pick up steam once again, the month of may looking high in the forecasts as a very prosperous one.
When Asked about the Undeadites May Plans, outstanding member Alurakan recited this poem:
"zmaz harmanz
ram barahah!
nah gah Mrh?
grab bra!nz
grab g!n
hab barbah!"
Marching to the tune of our own zombah poet laureate, the Undeadites continue to horrify Pegton. The core of the suburb has fallen and, along with it, the Rowcliffe Building - the only Necrotech building in the suburb. The Undeadites, always striving to enlighten ourselves, consume the brainz of a few teachers as we march on local schools and museums. We briefly consider adding a wing to the Bratt Museum [83, 54] detailing the short, but glorious history of the zombie outbreak in Malton. We concluded that we'd rather make history and eat the curator. Pegton is in shambles and as the Undeadites leave the northern borders for Pitneybank we bid a fond fairwell to the former suvivors of this burb.
Fort Creedy has fallen to the Undeadites and ferals during a halfhearted battle. While leaving the fort the horde discovers a covert harman operation with intentions the wrest it from zombah claws.
Generalissimo ZombieMcAllen says:
"Early intelligence reports regarding Fort Creedy indicated they had weapons of mass destruction. Based on this intelligence we conducted an inspection and found no evidence of WMDs. We did, however, find a minor harman infestion that we dutifullly eliminated.
We've run across an unexpect threat in the blocks surrounding Fort Creedy more deadly and dangerous than the WMDs. As you are, by now, aware the Farmer building is poised to take over Fort Creedy. This is our Cuba. The missles are pointed to diminish zombah control. Let's turn this missle crisis into a Bloody Bay of Pigs as we wipe this would-be rebellion off the face of Malton. They may put up stiff resistance, but we will presevere and take down their 'cades. We will find them in their safehouses. We will pollute their hospitals. We shall not rest until Malton is safe for zombah kind. The battle of Farmer has begun. Let it end with our victory.
Rnrarrrh!"
Total May Kills: 174
[edit] 2007 April
The Undeadites decided the time was nigh for Pegton to feel the wrath that is a good zambah horde. Bodies quickly began to litter the streets, and continued to do so throughout the entire month. Horde unity was strong, and new members began to flock to the horde.
Total April Kills: 88
[edit] 2007 March
After a time hopelessly attacking the Yagoton "YRC" Revive clinic, the Undeadites took up the idea of visiting local warehouses. In their quest for knowledge of area locale, the HQ for the Abandoned was discovered and quickly everyone inside realized the futility of refusing to give tea and brain cake to the Undeadites. The following day, after taking sight of several shiny objects, the Undeadites moved on, accidently destroying another safehouse full of harmanz; Pippin Auto-Repair.
After much destruction of buildings, the Undeadites felt once again up to the challenge of taking on the Whatmore Building... "130 survivors will be in their graves by this months end!" they vowed... and they quickly were as we layed brutal siege to the Building alongside our good friends Death's Embrace and /b/!
So after a quick celebration romp, the Undeadites took their forces South into Brooke Hills with several things in mind: Food, Fun, and Peanut Shells... a trip to the zoo was certainly in order, so off they went, south through Brooke Hills to Ketchelbank to make some interaction with the Malton zoo and its keepers. then upon the decimation of the zoo, they headed off towards Roftwood to have their share of the tasty Hildebrand mall goodies.
With the destruction of Hildebrand Mall and Roftwood, Edgecombe took #1 on the priority list!
Total March Kills: 115
[edit] 2007 Febuary
After sometime aimlessly roaming, the horde finally settles down and begins to munch on what lies inside Yagoton, particularly those who would sleep in the Bale Mall.
The general array of buildings in the Bale Mall area saw fear grip their occupants as the Undeadites opened them up in search of some fresh chip dip. Many kills ensued.
Total February Kills: 43
[edit] The Dark Ages
Sadly, the months of August through February were scratched bleary eyed out of the Undeadites' much too heavily partied memories due to what some have begun to refer to as "The Dark Ages". Some of the members gave brief recollections to the effect of having had considerably too much to drink, or being very very sleepy, or needing to get some afternoon tea, but for better or for worse, this period in Undeadites history has been nearly erased from the books... Some hypothesize that the Undeadites simply had had enough of the constant carnage, or that the glory of battle got to their heads, but clearly, they fell nearly out of existence at the peak of their glory... Unfortunately for any harmanz, the Undeadites have left their bout of endless afternoon teas and have returned to the fray with full steam!
Pre-Dark Age kills: 1605
[edit] 2006-September
Kills Made:106
Running Total of Kills: 1400 (seems unlikely but honest!!! do the math yourself)
[edit] 2006 August
The Undeadites have been hitting suburb after suburb with the Big Bash. However, they have finally encountered substantial resistance at Giddings Mall. Amid rumors of bot barricade abuse they head for bloodier pastures to the south.
Kills Made: 53 to date
Running Total of Kills: 1294
[edit] 2006 July
The Undeadites continue their rampage with the Big Bash. After destroying Thompson Mall they quickly rampaged towards Marven Mall, where they, along with the other party goers, set about clearing 3 quarters of the mall in only 2 days. After finding cramped quarters and slim pickings the horde shambles into Brooksville cracking open a few safe houses and various survivor skulls. A few members of the Brooksville Warmbloods fall to zombie claws at St. John's Hospital.
Kills Made: 320
Running Total of Kills: 1241
[edit] 2006 June
The Undeadites continue their rampage in West Grayside and ensure Clapton Stadium and Pole Mall remain harman-free. They have a knock about the pitch in the stadium and celebrate with overturned seats, public urination, and general zombie hooliganism. After a few games they slake their thirst at the Younghusband Arms and find some Craske Building International Playboys near the taps. They challenge the playboys to a few friendly game of armwrestling. Unfortunately, the Undeadites don't know their own strength and now have a few extra limbs. Apologies to the playboys.
A warehouse in Kempsterbank is raided resulting in the deaths of over 14 survivors including two members of the Malton World Cup Committee who are discovered running an illegal bookmaking operation.
The Undeadites have been challenged to another soccer match on June 15, 1700GMT. Our team players are warming up on a stringent diet of marrow and brains. Coaches are certain players will be in optimal shape for the match.
Match 2 was a resounding success for the Undeadites with a 4-2 victory; Alurakan opened the scoring for the Undeadites after going 0-1 down and Orangutang put the zombie side in front. A dubious goal from the opposition levelled the score but substitute Pete of the Dead claimed two kills to give the Undeadites the win. Boisterous celebrations followed with Channel 4 News Team's reporter Ed Harken making a post-match victory meal.
The lure of fresh brains and camp-songs bring the Undeadites to join the Big Bash. After rampaging through several suburbs of largely empty buildings, the Undeadites strike gold. They devoure 40+ survivors in the Veresmith Street Police Dept Massacre.
Kills Made: 288
Running Total of Kills: 921
[edit] 2006 May
Having just remembered the art of overturning furniture, the Undeadites clear out some buildings in southern Gulsonside before drifting towards Scarletwood to the south. As the horde continues to grow, so does the death count!
A small number of Undeadites leave due to 'artistic differences' and go on to found their own group - "the night shift". The Undeadites do not endorse any activities of this group.
The Undeadites withdraw from Gulsonside as they believe it to have bad ju-ju. Once they find the magic ju-ju bean they intend to return to Gulsonside and plant it to dispel the bad karma.
"Go west, young zed!" said the zombie sage and so the horde breaks camp and passes through Wray Heights and Kempsterbank.
After finding few brainz in Kempsterbank the Undeadites deem the zombie sage a crackpot and make a right turn heading north into Shackleville until they learn about the Malton World Cup. They enjoy a good match as much at the next zombie and decide to participate in game at Clapton Stadium. A few members of the horde join a large contingent of ferals in taking the stadium. They celebrate by playing a few games with the heads of defeated survivors.
Kills Made: 175
Running Total of Kills: 633
[edit] 2006 April
After two successful rampages with the SteamRoller of Death, the Undeadites have decided to slow down their attack, but in the proccess giving the harmanz no chance to flee.
The campaign against Buttonville has commenced, the Undeadites systematically destroyed the revive efforts of the harmanz, cleansing the Tebbet Building and the Pryor Building. The Undeadites also attacked some minor safe-houses before joining with the RRF in the attack against the Buckley Mall where we had a feast in the food courts.
The campaign against Buttonville has been declared a success, with survivor deaths spiraling out of control, all hope seemed lost for Buttonvilles residents. The Undeadites launched their last attack on the Brazy Building and then Ranson Blvd. Police Depot before moving onward into West Grayside. Deaths from just these two buildings must have risen to above 50.
With full bellies and filthy faces (they are not know for their table manners), the Undeadites turn their attention to Tollyton and plan on paying a visit to Paradox home territory.
The Undeadites leave Tollyton with only a handful of survivors remaining, moving to the lush land of flesh and blood known as Gulsonside.
The Undeadites continue the attack against Gulsonside, creating a revive cue of up to 19 Zombies and clearing out necrotech labs have caused the rates of revive to rocket in the suburb, no longer shall the revive-pushers be allowed to carry on their trade of pain and misery.
Kills Made: 215
Running Total of Kills: 458
[edit] 2006 March
The Undeadites can still be seen around Roftwood and Stanbury Village.
An un-godly thing has occured, the Undeadites have started the rampaging SteamRoller of Death! all survivors in its path tremble in fear.
As the SteamRoller of Death continues, many survivors find themselves lying brainless outside their former safehouse. The SteamRoller has cleared a line of destruction throughout Shackleville, Mockridge Heights and now threatens Brooksville.
The SteamRoller of Death has ground to a halt, its objectives of plowing through survivor safehouses has been achieved. Now the horde moves into Grigg Heights, tearing apart barricade after barricade, survivor after survivor.
The Undeadites are known for their shrewd tactics against survivors, but their latest one may be the greatest they have ever thought of. The SteamRoller of Death has come about again, but no longer shall the Undeadites be bound by the line of horizontal, for they shall now move south-east in a diagonal line of death! All those upon the line will meet with the claws and fangs of the Undeadites!
Kills Made: 75
Running Total of Kills: 243
[edit] 2006 February
The Undeadites take a brief stop at Stanbury Village where they begin to snack on humans. They tear down many barricades and gnaw on the survivors inside. After taking out a few MPGeeks and other random humans, they are attracted by human activity around the Nichols Mall.
The Undeadites roam around central Malton, Particularly Stanbury Village and Roftwood tearing apart the flesh and bones from all survivors who cross their path.
The Undeadites decided that promotions were unnecessary, a Zombie is a Zombie, all are equal under the flag of the Undeadites.
Kills Made: 111
Running Total of Kills: 148
[edit] 2006 - January
The Undeadites muster in Galbraith Hills. Disapointed with the lack of fresh meat they relocate to the suburb of Tollyton to start the Rampage. Success follows rapidly with the sacking of several buildings and a number of kills.
The Undeadites march towards their next destination with wide, bloody grins after attacking Paradox safehouses.
Kills Made: 37
Running Total of Kills: 37
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