Upper Left Corner/Royal Appointments

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Places of Pilgrimages - 1
Keane Museum [59, 61], Shackleville


Places of Pilgrimages - 2
Keane Street [45, 21], Brooke Hills


Places of Pilgrimages - 3
The Upper Left Corner of Southall Mansion [49,8], East Boundwood


Places of Pilgrimages - 4
The Upper Left Corner of Caiger Mall [19, 27], Chudleyton


Places of Pilgrimages - 5
Keane Boulevard Police Dept [41, 45], Barrville


Royal Appointments

This is the royal appointments of the Upper Left Corner. The page is current under construction since the move to the brand new look so it may take a while until it is back to its former glory.

While there is no actual leadship for this group, there is a King and Queen, and their appointed ministers. How do you become a minister, you ask? It's simple, post your name/link here with a title, and if it stays here for a while, it has been accepted by the royalty!

We only had one king at a time. His name was Keane, and he was bathed in champagne and root beer almost as often as Grooter PKed us. With his retirement the first age of the ULC has passed and the second age has begun with the crowning of a new King and also a Queen.

Well we best get on with the list, stand up straight and look sharp, royalty has come to town.

The King & Queen

Doc Python - King of all ULCs. Also holds the title of Minister of punching or stepping on throats...ouch indeed.

S Aline - Queen of all ULCs, and also the reigning Miss Malton beauty queen 10 years and running.

Former King

Keane - Former King of the ULC, stepped down to make way for a new king and queen to be appointed. In the memory and honour of his greatness, King Keane I, a pilgrimage was decided upon. There are 5 holy locations scattered across Malton to visit and you can see these just on the left. No, the left, over there! UPDATE!! His Majesty has been seen sneaking around the city, mooning passersby, human and zombie alike! HE'S BAAAAACK!!!

Royal Subjects Of The Current Monarchy

Chris Masanori - The Minister of Whaling

Jelly Otter - Official Otter, Minister Of Potatoes

JC Cage - Marketer Of Zombie Giraffes (By Appointment To The Baron Of Ketchelbank) and Official Bonfire

Doctor Preston - Designated Driver

Queep - Prime Minister of Pants and King of Writhing

Leslie Brant - Minister of Quacking

Trenchcoat - the official Upper Left Corner trench-coat and a Knight of the Upper Left Corner

el pils - Official Unoffical Keeper of the Wiki

Tad Allagash - Cat-pianist Laureate

Newton Pippin - Keeper of the Royal Cock - Rampant Cock Stroker & All Round Deviant.

Breanna Turner - The Figment of our Collective Imaginations

the ultimate 420 - The Royal 'Contact'

Velleity - The Staff Chick, +1 to Magic (usually because Vell is the one who heals us when we get attacked)

Zed Sed Roar - The Royal Zombie Translator

Zane Brandon - Royally Appointed Ambassador From The Preston Arms

Royal Pets

a white dog and a black dog - the two dogs of the Upper Left Corner (they are running around Malton)

Some stray dog - sort of an unofficial pet of the ULC. He is a stray after all.

The Keane Golem A giant, living Bronze Statue at the image of Keane. Last seen in Fifoot Park, just beside the Keane Boulevard.

Royal Subjects of Years Past

These subjects will forever remain loyal to the Last Monarchy of Malton, but have gone on to perform other royal duties (most of which involve booze and/or not playing UrbanDead in a long fricking time):

Lord Byron II - THE lord and poet. Kills zombies with bad poetry.

Ada II - Byron's daughter, married to Charles 'Yum, Brainz!' Babbage.

Arcibi01 - That, er, One Guy with the, um, the Thing

M0T - Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl

Onok The Unpalatable - Royal Taster of Slurpees and Corndogs

burne - royal keeper of the rubber duckys

Sir Moe- Resident Meatsmith, Seal Clubber. Not afraid of God

Delsanto- Oracle of the Plastic Trees Shrine.

Darien Black - Minister of bitching at fellow survivors, and perfectly timed logins. Oh, and "The PK King", apparently.

Urthstripe - Lord High Ruler of All Things Cheese

Stubbs87 - Stg Major Colonel of Plungers Aisle 9 and Zombie Gut Poker

Purafilk - High Mage of Confectionaries and the Public Restrooms on the 3rd Floor

Farmer Bob - The Official Hamster of the Upper Left Corner.

csion - Honorable Vice Chancellor of cut lunches.

David Suzuki - Honourable Protector the Giant Silly Putty Ball and Real Tree Advocate

Tyler Whitney0 - Knight Commander of the Upper Left Corner and of Running in Wide Circles in Sub-Zero Weather while Intoxicated.

Rolf the Dead - High Lord Flatulator and Keeper of the Winds

Derek Schmidt - Minister of one small rodent he found yesterday

Temp1 - Official Canadian Ambassador and Royal Skip for the Royal ULC curling team.

Brain Thopson Duke of Paranoid ranting.

Senshi - Minister Of Whispy Goatees

Grand Wazoo - Wazoo of Grandeur

Shwantz- High Priest of the Coke Machine Next to the Food Court and Legal Counsel for said Food Court

Titch- Arch Duke of people who turn up for no apparently good reason. Moonlights as a Oracle for the god of things that get stuck in draws.

Zapeta- Minister of Awesome-ness

Howlin' Mad Mike- Arch Duke of Chick-fil-A and keeper of the Bryan Adams CDs.

Gulliver J Chumley Minister of Science, inventor of the Zombo-Electric Dynamo (ZED) Generator. Gulliver

Natick - Viceroy of Crowbars

Zombie Spy Version 3 Minister of highly silly names

comfortaddict Minister of Sofas

SmartingFord Patron Saint of Quality Footwear

Broken Fixer : PLEBeian Praetor Sui Generatoris, jurisprudence conductor, current magistrate, electric elector, and arbiter of Slurpee justice.

The Nabob Whore Hopper - Frequenter of Houses of Ill Repute

Gingerfury - patron saint of getting stupidly killed, stupidly

JoeChip - Headmember of the Cabinet Noir

The Redeemer - Minister of Waffle-Related Morale

Ragnar - Semi-Holy-Ruler of awesome moustaches

McClaud - Kommandr aff der Battle Jagers

Jimmy Grimm - Oracle of the Soda Can

Gargamel Smurfbash - Grand Vizier of Boomstickery

Valcione - Pusher of The Button

Madman12 - Insane Lawyer of His Majesty

Deadkitty - Mistress of Twinkies and Newspapers

Rosie Mosie - Upper Left Coroner and Acting Interim Mortician

Jack Cortez - Lord-God of The Skatman

Edward Greaves - Groper of cousins (^_^ --TMH swedish)

Maynard Lebowski - Minister of Band, Local NAMBLA representative.

Demissus - Minister of Ministry

The Great Bugsickle - Possessor of Chuck Norris's shoes (Don't tell him I've got them)

Holt Kendrick - Minister of tequila and quoter of obscene and pointless Bible passages

Hat Field - High Priest of the Noodly Appendage, and Chief Fiddler of Folkey Shindigs.

Carrion Mobmeat- Apologist of Banderas.

Olympus - Minister For Drunken Pirateyness and Accordian Solos

Margot Tenenbaum - Royal secret keeper.

Leeksoup - Unofficial Keeper of the Fan

TMH swedish - Patron Saint of Ecchi Anime.

Mordred Geralis - Minister of Haircare Products and Viscount of Drugstore Aisle Seven

John Lokisson - Prime Minister of the Sears Hardware Department

Baldor - resident Tolkien Geek and Minister of Lusting After Australia's Olympic Men's Swim Team

Boomstick37 - Earl of Ice Cream and all other frozen dairy products.

Chunder Pants - Resident Windbag

Icelos - Le Comte d'Incompr?hensibilit? (with the scars to prove it)

Kai Antilles - Minister of Foreign relations. (now elsewhere)

Holly Day - Exchequer of Boxes

Nomoreliving - Lord tintins royal horse Concorde (Cocunuts not included)

Pete Maddox - Qualified Royal Jester (Trained at Laffowittz U} and shotgun wielding fireman

Shirley Strachan Governor General of pants and lack there-of

The Stay Puft Man Local walking ball of marshmallow and often used for food for the ULC. keeper of the strongest shit you'll ever drink, rumored to be stronger then the pan-galactic gargle blaster.

nojim Secretary of the Department of Whiskey (DOW)

Alberto Einstein Minister of Hispanic Sciences

Dan Quayle Captain of the ULC Golf Team

HorseManDemon Arch-Duke of Apathy and Quilting

Bjornsthorn Secretary of SPAM! Radio Announcements. Minister of Mockery and Burnt Clothing.

Cowboy Up - Retired and in charge of drinking Root Beer.

Sexual Harris - Minister of Narcotics, Storytelling, and Super Bowl Comercials.

Kleptonis - Minister of Plastic Trees and Chief Spreadsheet Officer

Horatio77 - Minister of Plastic Squirrels in Plastic Trees

Haff - Minister of Alcoholic Rock n' Rollers, undisputed Master of Karaoke.

JLP - Maharaja of Space, unofficial leader of teh group unofficially known as "Battle Furries".

Vorshek - Surgeon General

Thorn Harvestar - Lord of the Western Food Court

Buzzlightyear07 - Poobah of Napping

AJ Jones - Minister of Pirates and Ninjas

LittleKnoT - Arch Duke of Bourbon Drinking and Drunkin Heavy Petting.

Carrion Jack - Ambassador to the Zombie hordes/Local Immortal. She's known to stand up and kill those that attack her by feeding them to her undead parakeet, Little Jack.

Adam C Moore Master in the forbidden and deadly art of the Spatula. prone to substance abuse.

Ironbaby Duchess of the children of Malton. Only three years old, she is Ironhyde's bastard child, and half zombie to boot. Likes to bite things.

Cren Raptorian The one and only cave-person native to Malton (before the outbreak). His official title is *indecipherable grunting* Chief Cren *more indecipherable grunting*, but most people just call him "Chief" or "dumbass". The only article of clothing he wears is a breechcloth made from a (formerly) white bandanna. It only covers the back...

seth1r8 Lord of useless knowledge, and improv. dancing. Carrier of too many shotguns.

Amorpheous Minister of All Things Warm and Fuzzy, Lord of Blankets, Desirer of All Things Shiny

Ironhyde Emperor of the only nudist colony in Malton. Used to be a nudist himself until just after the zombie outbreak, when he decided it would be prudent to protect his junk...


Zombie Induced Boner - Master Sodomite of the Living Dead.

ZizAniE13 - Barrister of the Seas

Palatino Linotype - The barista master, and the keeper of the sacred font.

JackMetal - Duke of Nukem and Keeper of True Metal

JohnnyMetal - Grandmaster of Martial Artz & Chilichomping

That Person - The Keeper of the Shiney Globule

whitewolf75860 - Grand keeper of 'bubba'

Thom Flask - Phallic Deity of Liver Damage

Itsatrap - Ex-Minister of Unlisted Appointments

Joe Ramirez - Duke of Pie

gorney1332 - Grand Master of Kegstands

Police Officer Jesus - Resident Messiah/Law Enforcer

Nazdreg and his holy artefact, the +1 Shotgun of Zombie Slaying!

Kelton McFaddan - Procurer of Liqueur-Filled Edible Underwear and Resident Carpetbagger

Flurv DuPreem - Cardinal of Moustache Spinning and Keeper of the Hat Feather

Caldwell - Commander-in-chief of resident riotous Irish drunks

erik half bee - Keeper of the Royal Menagerie

Eli Kronenberg - Deputy Sheriff

Oneechan - Mistress of the ULC's one and only Internet Cafe & also Queeps little sister (Not sure whan that happened, but this explains it all: Queep said "Thanks Little Sis!").

Adux Rex - Chief of the Casino, for all your gambling needs. Taking bets, taking bets, rien ne va plus!

scrubber10302 - Consultant for bad ideas- hey, we should all gather in Bird Boulevard in Dakerstown...

Mr. Z. - The thief who tried to loot Southall Mansion and who got stuck with the royal wackos. Now honorary court official of things taken that doesn’t belong to us.

Anub'arak - Keeper of Keys to Volkswagons. Also, Honorary Minister of Procrastination, for taking this long to get a freakin' title. He's since gone back to being a zombie on a bender, though, so watch out if you meet him.

Mario O'hara - High bishop of assless chaps and protective hats.

Agent Firefly - Prime Minister of the Department of Sneakiness

megaflux - Token Cyborg; Designated Molester of Mannequins

bob8914 - The offical Mafia ambassidor, may you live with many cannolli.

Dugong - Cow Of The Sea, also known as the Manatee

A Lumberjack - Minister of putting on women's clothing and hanging around in bars

Dr Chicago Edd - Secretary of the Department of Dumbass and Vice-Chairman of the Royal STFU committee. Is running for the office of Minister of Mouth-Off and Doctor Surgeon General.

Arthur Cottle - Master of the Royal Newt and newly-ennobled Baron of Ketchelbank. He is the Queen's favourite subject, and makes the best damn tea.

Royal Zombie Appointments

Why should the humans have all the fun, eh? The Upper Left Corner should be fun for the whole family, even if some of them are undead! The inside of the Upper Left Corner is home to some of the wackiest humans around. Well, maybe it's time for the outside of the Upper Left Corner to be home to some of the wackiest zombies around!

So, if you're a zombie but don't want to be left out of the Upper Left Corner fun, give yourself a royal appointment here! We won't even require you to change your group affiliation (unless you really want to, that's fine by us. The more the merrier!)

We understand if you wouldn't actually want to link to your profile here. You don't have to if you don't want to. It would make you stand out to anyone who adds you to contacts... however, I can't say if that'll make you get killed more or less.

an angry zombie - Harman-Zahmbah Relations Agent, Barbecue Event Manager. Angry happens to have is own wiki user page that has the mention of the touching concert held in his honour by the man himself, John Lennon.

Mighty Warlord Xyu - Official Harbinger of Doom

Rybe - Minister of being really far away from the mall, otherwise zerging rules would be in effect for Queep.

Htd Internet Personality, goon and wandering zombie who just wants to be loved. Used to be really good at concentrating but now ooooh shiny.

TXY - Official Ambassador to the Pile of Dead Bodies

Kandarin - Keeper of the One True Plastic Tree

Q dog - Minister of Indicisiveness between Zombie and Human. (This character is revived and killed at least 3x per week.)

Ray Sterling - Oneechan's alt. So if you see this Zed a knocking, please let him in and put a cheese sandwich under the grill. He is hungry afterall.

Revolutionist - Official Sub-Arch-Nemesis of the Upper Left Corner. Sub-Arch and not Full Arch because to be a full arch nemesis, you need to yell at us for wasting our AP and being stupid. We are silly, so our Arch-Nemesis should be serious. This is the guy was leading the tour group attacking our corner. Show him some respect, he's done a damn good job.

Caiger Mall Upper Left Corner Marching Band

We've Got Spirit, Yes We Do!

Have you got a case of the mid siege blues? Do you find yourself listless and bored? Is the constant moaning of the undead hordes outside starting to wear on your nerves? Well, kiss your troubles goodbye, because the Caiger Mall Upper Left Corner Marching Band is here! Created to proclaim the greatness of Caiger Mall and, more specifically, the ULC, the CMULCMB is proud to call itself the finest marching band in Caiger Mall, nay, in any mall in Malton!

The CMULCMB performs at every Upper Left Corner Root Beer Fight, Silly Putty Katamari game, and Spontaneous Poking Contest. In addition, we periodically parade through the other three sections of Caiger Mall, playing rousing tunes to remind mall dwellers that 1) Caiger Mall rocks, and 2) The Upper Left Corner rocks just a little bit more. And as soon as the zombie hordes surrounding the mall have been defeated, you can count on a victory parade through the bloodstained steets of Chudleyton and Darvall Heights. So long as they clear the bodies from the street. That would be a serious tripping hazard.

Joooooooiiiiiiiiin Uuuuuussssss...

Want to join the band? Good! Membership in the CMULCMB is open to everybody who wants to apply. Applicants must audition for placement within the band - the audition consists of adding your name, instrument, and a link to your UD profile below. Then, send me an email at maynardlebowski@hotmail.com letting me know that you're in. If you can successfully complete this task, congratulations! You're a member of the CMULCMB! You don't have to change your group affiliation - the CMULCMB is simply a division of the ever so great Upper Left Corner.

In a typical CMULCMB performance, the band as a whole moves into a square, shouts out song lyrics, solos, profanity, and penis jokes, then moves on. While this may look highly disorganized and disruptive, it... Well... Uh... It isn't. Case closed.

Members

Maynard Lebowski - Drum Major and Official Announcer.

Mordred Geralis - 1st chair Rusty Trombone

Rosie Mosie - Piano

Ed Base - Clarinet Section Leader/Horn Captain

Boomstick37 - Baton twirler

JackMetal - Contrabass

JohnnyMetal - Keomun-go

Dr Chicago Edd - Backup Tuba and Roadie

Caiger's Fight Song

Fight On, old Caiger!

Fight on, fight on, old Caiger!
May your great walls be strong!
The survivors wait within you
Blasting zombies all day long!
(Rah! Rah!)

We search we hunt
We raid we 'cade
The plastic trees will save the day
Fight on, old Caiger, fight on!

[Drum solo, BARHAH chorus, flaregun fireworks display, trombones empty spit valves on zombie hordes]

Fight on, fight on, old Caiger!
In the foodcourts and the fountains to-daaay!
The ULC is mighty kickass
And old Caiger is A-OK!

TULCK

TULCK is the home of Trenchcoat, a Knight of the Upper Left Corner and guardian of all our Katanas and Trenchcoats. You should be afraid, this man has survived Ridleybank.....

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