User:DCC/Suggestions

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The original author of this was a self centered dick that thinks all the wiki users are morons. I've tried to point out a few of his "mistakes" --The Malton Globetrotters #99 DCC SNACK STRONG 23:34, 6 September 2008 (BST)

REAL Suggestions Guideline

So, you’ve decided to dive head-first into the dangerous waters of the suggestions page, have you? And not as one of the keep/kill/spam/dupe gunners, mind you, but as one of the brave men and women who make the targets themselves: a Suggestor. Well, there’s a few things you need to know, especially if you haven’t been around for very long. Oh, you read the Suggestion Do's and Do Not's? And Frequently Suggested? That’s good. They’re very accurate, but staying true to them will not be enough to keep your suggestions from being spammed into nonexistence.

Now, to begin with, we will quote a guideline from the suggestions page itself:

  1. If your suggestion is a basic functionality improvement, it will probably be accepted.
  2. If your suggestion redresses existing balance concerns, it will also probably be accepted.
  3. If it makes characters, especially survivors, significantly more powerful, it will almost certainly be rejected.
    Survivors are historically always in the majority. They clearly need no boosts.

Don’t be fooled by this trickery. Following this will only get you one or two keeps, if that. Your suggestion will still be spammed into oblivion. What you should become familiar with are these guidelines:

  1. If your suggestion is a basic functionality improvement, it will probably be rejected.
    Of course, Kevan is the one that ultimately decides. Good luck telling the creator he screwed up and you know better! That's going to go over well.
  2. If your suggestion redresses existing balance concerns, there is a slight chance it will be accepted, depending on whether or not the voters recognize the existing balance concern.
  3. If it makes characters, especially survivors, significantly more powerful, it WILL be rejected.
  4. If it’s been suggested before, it will be duped (duh).
  5. If it modifies a game mechanic that doesn’t actually exist, it will either be spammed or removed as vandalism (again, duh).
  6. If it’s clearly a humorous suggestion, expect it to be treated as vandalism if you put it on the wrong page.
    This wiki needs an enema! The suggestions should be fun and goofy. UD has been around long enough to have the kinks worked out. This is when (and where) the community should be getting together to have some laughs.
  7. If the suggestion is not formatted correctly, there is a good chance that it will be spammed.
    There are many links to help you format all over this wiki. If you can't be bothered to make your suggestion fit in the format established then why do you deserve special treatment? There are cut and paste examples at the top or you can ask for help.
  8. If your suggestion is not complete or detailed enough (ie: not specifying the numbers/method), it will be rejected with the word “Incomplete” plastered over almost every vote.
    If you post it on Talk:Suggestions first instead they will most likely help you flesh it out.
  9. If it modifies something that was just implemented/changed in the game, it will be rejected with many of the votes saying “It’s too soon to tell if this needs to be changed” (remember, if in the future the idea becomes necessary and was already submitted, all it takes is 3 dupe votes to get rid of it).
    This is common sense. You can't possibly know all of the effects of an update right away. It needs to be play tested.
  10. If even a single person THINKS it can possibly be abused by zergers and/or bots, it WILL be spammed. Yes, I know anything can be abused by zergers and bots; that’s one reason why making successful suggestions is so hard.
    The original author of this list seems to think that one vote will cause a snowball effect because voters can not think on their own. Now who is more insulting: the author that thinks everyone is lemmings or a voter that brings up an alternate view point? One spam vote won't kill a suggestion and if you had posted it on Talk:Suggestions first you could have addressed that concern.
  11. If your suggestion is a self-revive or otherwise lets survivors avoid becoming a zombie upon death, it will be spammed and you will most likely be flamed mercilessly.
    There is no perma-death in Malton. Anything that makes it so survivors avoid the "inconvenience" of zombification isn't fair.
  12. If it retro-actively penalizes someone for having a character with a certain class, skill, item, etc it will be spammed.
  13. If it plays around with a core game mechanic/concept, it will most likely not even get off the ground before it is shot down.
    Again, if you want to change something that basic go make your own zombie game.
  14. If it is a flavor change, it MAY be accepted.
  15. If even a single person THINKS it will help or hurt PKers in even the smallest way, it WILL be spammed.
    Because once again the original author thinks all voters are idiots.
  16. If it involves seeing people inside a building from outside or vice-versa, it WILL be spammed.
    There is no reason that X-Ray vision will ever be fair.
  17. If it involves new weapons and/or classes, it will most likely be spammed.
  18. If it even MENTIONS barricades, it will be spammed.
  19. If it boosts zombie bites in any way, shape, or form (regardless of whether or not they actually need one), it WILL be spammed.
  20. If it moves a character against their will, it will be spammed (except dumping bodies and feeding drag, of course, because they’re special).
    Here the author shows how he doesn't understand the mechanics of what he is saying. Moving a body from inside to outside or vice versa is VERY different from teleporting a character to another square.
  21. If it is a tracking mechanic, it will be spammed (again, Scent Trail is special).
  22. If it lets a character do something without wasting AP, it will be spammed, no matter what it is (yeah, I know there are already things like that in the game, but I don’t make the rules).
    Dropping items cost 0 AP. Why would the author be mad about that? It wasn't always that way either.
  23. If it helps newbies and no one else, there’s a slight chance it will be accepted, depending on what it is.
    This is one of the few games that makes it easier to level past the first 3. That doesn't make sense.
  24. If it tweaks Free Running, it will not be accepted.
    You can get into barricaded buildings. What more do you need?
  25. If it involves using fuel cans and flare guns to create burning zombies, make sure you wear flameproof clothing to protect against the inevitable wildfire you are about to set. Oh, and expect a lot of spam votes, too.
    This is implemented already.
  26. If it’s a zombie headshot, don’t bother.
  27. If it costs extra AP or XP to use, it will be spammed.
    When you only get 50 AP a day things that want to suck it away are frowned upon.
  28. If it attacks through barricades, don’t bother.
    Barricades keep things in and things out. If you could do something through them they wouldn't be very good barricades, would they?
  29. If any of the following words are in it, it will most likely be spammed and/or duped: Submachine Gun, SMG, Assault Rifle, Rifle, Rocket Launcher, Grenade, Helicopter, Machine Gun, Automatic, Auto, Car, Motorcycle, PKers, PKing, GKing, GKers, RKers, RKing, X-Ray Vision, Exploding Zombies, Headshot, Barricades, Tracking, Vehicles.
  30. If it involves Wire Fences, don’t bother.
  31. If it makes things more believable but changes gameplay in any way, chances are that it will be spammed.
    You are playing a zombie game. If you want believability go play SIMS.
  32. If you’re fixing something that the voters don’t think is broken (whether it really is or not is irrelevant), then it will be spammed.
    How are you the only one that sees this problem? Maybe it really isn't broken to begin with.
  33. If it lets individual zombies actually have a chance against survivors, then it WILL be spammed (remember, zombies have to be weaklings who can only hurt survivors in huge hordes, thus preventing them from ever being able to make a suburb dangerous without leaving another suburb mostly zombie-free and vulnerable).
  34. If it boosts melee weapons, it will be spammed.
    No Survivor buffs
  35. If it boosts firearms, it will be spammed (notice the trend here).
    No Survivor buffs
  36. If it boosts malls, it WILL DEFINITELY be spammed.
    No Survivor buffs
  37. If it puts unnecessary strain on the server and/or would be difficult to code, it will probably be rejected (now you see what I mean when I say that the standard guidelines are BS).
    It's a free game. He only charges a one time fee $5 USD if you want to lift the IP limit. You aren't paying the server bills.
  38. If it makes the almost-useless buildings even more useless, it will definitely be spammed.
    Not everything needs a purpose. It's like the villagers you talk to that only say "What a terrible night to have a curse."
  39. If it allows blunt weapons to be wielded by zombies (or anyone else, for that matter) with ANY effectiveness whatsoever, it will be spammed.
    Zombies can use blunt weapons.
  40. If it boosts forts, it may be accepted.
  41. If it doesn’t make any sense and/or your grammar sucks, it will be spammed.
    Again, we don't have you here in person to explain your idea. All we have is what you wrote. If we can't understand it we can't support it.
  42. If it involves giving boosts to people for having someone on their contacts list or vice versa, it will be spammed.
    Name dropping shouldn't be rewarded in games or in real life.
  43. If it affects more than one target, it will be spammed.
    You want area effect spells go play DnD.
  44. If it gets rid of flavor items, it will be spammed.
  45. If it adds flavor items, it will be spammed (apparently, a few useless items really make the game, but even one more would destroy it).
    Don't try to slip in a "flavor" item that is really a weapon or some type of barricade.
  46. If it weakens something or makes it less crucial in the game even the slightest bit, it will be labeled as a nerf and spammed (yes, I know; under this line of logic shotguns nerf pistols and vice versa, axes nerf all other melee weapons, and anything that offers any balanced alternatives to doing a given task is a nerf).
    Shotguns are low ammo - high damage (20 HP). This doesn't nerf pistol's high ammo - medium damage (30HP). And seriously ask yourself - would you rather be hit by a pool cue or an axe? Axes don't nerf melee weapons any more than they nerf themselves.
  47. If it involves magic, it WILL be spammed.
    Zombies - not demons or ghosts. Get the genre right.
  48. If it differentiates between classes, it will not be accepted.
  49. If it requires several different components, it will not be accepted and people will tell you to submit them separately.
    It's a free text based zombie game. If you want to have to assemble some mystical artifact go play something else.
  50. If it is a suggestion that has been split into different parts and submitted separately, it will not be accepted because the individual parts on their own will be overpowering without the balancing aspects that the other parts provided.
    Have some perspective and keep it simple. Look at the existing skills. They build nicely on each other and don't require some complicated system.
  51. If it doesn’t benefit the player who has it, it will be spammed (first aid is yet another example of how these rules don’t apply to things already in the game).
    It is a survivor horror game not a co-op fun time game. If you have to have someone else around to use a skill then you can't really play on your own.
  52. If it can’t miss, then neither will the spam votes. Remember, only syringes, barricades, body dumping, feeding drag, and first aid kits (the last one if it’s used on the guy you’re attacking) are allowed to hurt you with a 100% success rate.
    First of all, how do barricades "never miss"? You can fail while 'cading. You can't dump a body in a dark building. Survivors have to be at less than 13 HP to be dragged out. As far as syringes go, the original implementation was for healing. It wasn't until Combat Reviving started that they became a weapon. If you don't want them to hit you 100% of the time buy Brain Rot.
  53. If it makes crucifixes useful, it will be spammed.
  54. If it gives variety (ie, a new way to do an old thing without being more powerful), then it will be spammed.
  55. If it involves vehicles, it will be spammed.
  56. If it’s out of flavor (or what the voters define as out of flavor), it will be spammed.
  57. If a voter THINKS it is a dupe, it will be duped, regardless of whether or not your suggestion actually is a dupe.
    Original author still thinks voters can't think for themselves.
  58. If it boosts search rates, it will be spammed.
    Survivor buff. Zombies can't search. Of course, there are generators that boost search rates now.
  59. If it decreases search rates, it will be spammed.
    You mean like a dark building which was recently introduced?
  60. If it rewards communications spam, it will be spammed (yeah, yeah, I know; tagging already does that…).
  61. If it complicates an already existing function in the game needlessly, it will be spammed.
    This is common sense. Why make something harder?
  62. If it is a ransack boost, don’t bother.
  63. If it involves any sort of “hiding” mechanic (a la Nexus War), it will be spammed.
    If you really want to hide idle out your character.
  64. If it could POTENTIALLY result in more screen spam, it will be responded to with counter-spam.
    What?
  65. If it allows rotters to unbuy brain rot (or otherwise get around the un-revivable-except-in-powered-NT effect that comes with it), it will be spammed.
    Don't want Brain Rot? Don't buy it. Bought it? Make a new character.
  66. If it makes zombies any less anonymous WHATSOEVER, it will be spammed (apparently, all zombies have exactly the same height, weight, skin tone, physical features, hair color, etc unless one has them on their contacts list).
    The game is text based. You want to read through the user profile descriptions of an attacking horde? Wait until they hit you and click the link.
  67. If it gives XP for actions that don’t actually benefit your side’s cause, it will be spammed (but books and tagging are okay, of course, since they…uh…do something helpful that I can’t think of right now).
    Zombies don't even get tagging or books. It's nice to see the Survivors whine about how hard they have it.
  68. If it’s not balanced, it will be spammed for that very reason.
    Well, duh.
  69. If it IS balanced, it will probably not be accepted because it won’t actually change anything and/or no one will use it.
    Kevan makes all the decisions. Things that were Peer Rejected were implemented and vice versa. Don't whine.
  70. If it weakens or helps GKers/RKers/other forms of griefers, it will probably be spammed.
  71. If it involves nullifying someone else’s skills/hit %, it will be spammed.
    Common sense. Don't change how other people play their characters. You wouldn't want that done to you.
  72. If it attacks another player’s AP or XP, it will be spammed with a vengeance (headshot, barricades, first aid kits, running away from zombies, and body dumping are all exempt from this rule for reasons that have not yet been revealed to the public).
    FAKs don't affect AP/XP (?). "running away from zombies" - What? Body dumping doesn't affect AP/XP either. Neither do barricades. I'm not sure what this is about. The only one that does affect AP/XP is headshot and it has been tweaked over the years. As far as anything else goes, you shouldn't mess with AP/XP because of how limited it is and how hard to get.
  73. If it allows someone to attack/defend automatically, it will be ridiculed and spammed.
    Why bother to play at all if the game will play for you?
  74. If it allows newbie zombies to gain XP faster than they would by ZKing, it will be spammed. Remember, any zombie that is in genre (ie, is not from a book, movie, comic, TV show, or game besides UD) is a cannibal by nature and only eats survivors because they are eventually taught to by society.
    This I actually agree with. Zombies need more ways to earn XP.
  75. The more the voters like you, the more likely your suggestion is to be accepted.
    Life is a popularity contest, Princess.
  76. If it involves stealing items or anything else that causes someone to lose something in their inventory, it will be spammed.
    With the crappy RNG every found item is hard earned. Losing something because someone decided to grief you would suck.
  77. If it changes the map, it will probably be spammed.
    There was a lot of work put into that map back in the beginning. Don't touch it.
  78. If it’s an insta-kill, it will be spammed.
    This game doesn't need One Hit Kills on either side.
  79. If the only balancing aspect is it’s rarity (be it due to search rates, only certain people being allowed to have it, etc), it will be spammed.
    And Finally...
  80. If the voters don’t like it, it will be spammed, regardless of whether they have a reason or not and regardless of how much the game needs and/or would benefit from this suggestion. Even if it would single-handedly save the game and make it ten times as much fun, it will be spammed if the voters don’t like it.
    Once again, the original author hates your freedom. It must be lonely up their on his pedestal thinking he is the only voice of reason. By this time many of the players on here have 2 - 3 years experience and have played almost every type of character available. Many of them probably created the known classes! (GK/PK/RK/Dual Nature/Life Cultist etc.) It won't hurt new players to listen to their comments.

And that does it for the Real Suggestion Guidelines. Hopefully now you’ve realized how frustrating the suggestions process is and become more supportive of authoritarian regimes everywhere, since those can at least get some things done.

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