User:Det Briscoe

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50ShadesofBriscoe.jpg



Fun Facts

I, Briscoe?

1. He's a simple man. He likes pretty dark haired women and mac & cheese.

2. According to a Mexican census, 8 of his ex-wives are in Malton.

3. His mind was blown when he realized "The Land Before Time" lied to him; more time passed between when Stegosaurus went extinct and Tyrannosaurus lived, then between when he and Tyrannosaurus lived.

4. He brings tinsel to a gun fight just to even the odds.

5. He spent a week in Creedy trying to think up a new color.

6. He misses Winka.

7. Ron Burgundy once asked him to wait outside with the horde.

8. The Dead listed him as their emergency contact number.

9. Ladies south of Barrville PK onsite.

10. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

11. He lives vicariously through himself.

12. If quantum physics is true, and given an infinite number of universes, he is dating Emma Watson.

13. According to Marcel Swann, 'the cades are loose' is a Briscoe dog whistle.

14. Ask nicely and he'll take you on "The Briscoe Taboo Tour of Malton". The tour begins at Beaver Towers and from there heads to Club Vagg, then the Chubb Monument, Dix Row, Greatwood monument, the Hiscock Arms, the Mycock Building (a personal favorite), the Boobyer Building, Butt Road Railway Station, the Legg Museum, Tite Way School, Clitsome Square, Bowell Museum, the Backholer Museum, Dike Lane, Club Quier. Then, pay your respects at Hyman Street, Nutt Ave, Gaywood Auto, Fluck Library, Cummings Bank, Club Head, the Buckoke Building, Pole Mall, the Dicken Building, Hooker Bank, Seamen Museum, the Hickey Building, Bone Towers, Douch Street, Hedbitch Row Railway, Dickin Park, Lay Road PD, Tutcher Place, Caunt Street PD, Cockburn Plaza Railway, Swallow Lane PD, the Longstaff Building, the Hussey Monument, Club Goodenough, Gotobed Library, Wooman Towers, Getsome Drive Fire Station, Tickle Row, the Swears Museum, Came Place, the Membery Arms, the Beer Building, Clapp Lane, and end up at his home in the basement of the Mounter Arms! Complimentary Russian bride provided at the end of the Tour.

15. Having once stepped in for a sick Bret Michaels, his 80s power ballad skills know no equal.




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This User or group supports the Malton Rangers in their never ending quest to aide the fair citizens of Malton, pursue classiness to the utmost, and stop barhah in all areas it rears its ugly head


Trident.jpg Channel 4 News Team Affiliate
This user or group entered Glorious Battle beside the Channel 4 News Team. There were horses and a man on fire and this user or group killed a guy with a trident. Afterward, we could barely lift our arms because we killed so many zombies. I don't know if you heard us counting. We killed over 1,000.



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This user or group is part of the New Malton Colossus.
Bringing Glorious Battle to you since 2006.


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This user fought in the 2nd Battle of Blackmore and proudly wears this home made badge on his knee. where he kicked the ever famous dickholeguy in the nuts.. TWICE!

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