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Mitch Hedberg, aka Mitch All Together, the deceased stand-up comedian performing with the Quartly Study Group at the Quartly Library in Roftwood

Hey, have you heard about Quartly Study Group Open Mic Night, man? Laugh & Death is what we're, like, calling it. You should go! I'm hosting, man!

Level: 41

Group: Quartly Study Group

Home Turf: Quartly Library, Roftwood

Mitch Thinks About Stuff


The Quartly Study Group are one of the groups that, like, seem to be singled out by the Dead because we're roleplayers. Unlike PKer roleplayers who go around acting like psychos and killing people, survivor roleplayers like the QSG, the Malton City Zoo, and McZeds seem to be getting some sort of, like, weird backlash from the Dead. I keep hearing stuff like "You pubbies should be fearing zombies instead of having tea parties at your library", but really, who decides how the game is played, man? Why is it so hard to believe that people can do something other than search for ammo, revive people, put up barricades, and chow down on survivors and still be playing this game?

Quartly Library is one of the few truly unique places in Malton, and unlike the Zoo or the Forts, this has nothing to do with its geography, man. Quartly is one of the few places that functions as a truce zone; survivors, PKers, and zombies are supposed to be able to go there and know that no one's gonna kill them. It's not supposed to function as an artificial free zone -- you're not supposed to go on a killing spree and then claim safe haven at the library, man, because the Librarians aren't going to protect you if you do -- but it should be a place where everyone just tries to be mellow. One of the funniest things I've noticed, man, is that PKers tend to be the most diligent about honoring this policy (I've never seen a PKer take down a survivor in the Library, man, and I've seen some of Malton's Deadliest), followed by zombies from established groups (like the Ridleybank Resistance Front and the Militant Order of Barhah), then survivors, then bounty hunters, and finally out-and-out assholes. Survivors tend to get really nervous when they see SillyLillyPilly or one of the Philosophe Knights hanging out, and they sometimes go off and shoot them and then yell at the rest of us for not killing the PKer, missing the point completely. Bounty Hunters frequently tend to be assholes about it, blatantly stating they don't honor the truce zone and killing PKers (this isn't true of all Bounty Hunters, but it happens with alarming frequency, man; it's what led me to believe that most Bounty Hunters are actually worse than PKers).

Finally, you have the assholes, man. While I respect what the Dead are actually doing to the game -- which is reminding survivors that zombies are dangerous and you have to beware -- I don't respect what they're trying to do, which is "break the game". They have some sort of, like, hate-on for Kevan, and seem to want to force changes on the actual code of the game by artificially disrupting the survivor/zombie balance and intentionally, like, doing stuff that ends up being a "worst case scenario" of zombie actions. I keep hearing rumors that they intend to turn PKer or something once they're done being a horde, man, but who even knows if that's true? The problem is that while they're championing a cause that may or may not be worthy (you be the judge, man) they are simultaneously going out of their way to tell people how to play Urban Dead by griefing anyone who doesn't play it as a "survivors versus zombies" war.

Yeah, survivors and zombies are, like, natural enemies. We get it. You go almost anywhere on the grid, man, and you'll see that it's the case. Ridleybank is a prime example; where most suburbs are survivors trying to hold back zombies, Ridleybank is a case of zombies trying to drive out the survivors and holding on to a suburb of their own. Everywhere you go you see barricades up and dead bodies around, which means somebody's killin' somebody. Every once in a while, though, you find some sort of oddity. You find groups like BrainROT RUM -- survivors with Brain Rot who work as survivors to PK other players and tempt them to buy Brain Rot. Then you find groups like the Malton Teachers' Union, who are a group of zeds and survivors who are just out to teach people how to play. And finally you get groups like the Quartly Study Group and the Malton Zookeepers -- groups that dare to have zombies and survivors interact.

Seriously, is the game so hard up on warzones that you can't tolerate a few squares on the grid actually being safe places, man? Is it really so bad to think that there are survivors who are out there doing something other than fighting for survival every day? It's a game, man... shouldn't we get to decide how it's played? I wish we could just go back to being Open Air and be cool again, but apparently that's too much to ask of our new self-appointed landlords. -- Mitch 20:48, 7 May 2008 (BST)

-- Mitch

Celebrities in Malton

Pop culture sort of has a new meaning for me these days, man. I mean, back when I was alive, I was sort of underground cool, you know? For a lazy joke-tellin' motherfucker, I had my fans and my, like, advocates, and that was all good, but I was never really about fame, man. Even so, it gets a dude thinkin' about what it means to have people know you, and how you get that way. If you write a song or show up in a movie or TV or somethin', then congratulations -- you're a star, man. But that only works in a world where laziness is rewarded with entertainment.

So now we're stuck in this urban wasteland, and, like things are different. For me especially, man; I mean, I know the rest of you had some horrible event happen and it was a huge culture shock to have zombies runnin' around eating people, but I was in that weird minority of people who were already dead, man. I don't even know how I got to Malton -- I was apparently buried in Macon, Georgia, man. I'm not really famous in Malton, and that's cool by me, but I've still got those instincts.

So who's famous in Malton? Murderers, mostly. You got wanted posters all over the place pointing fingers at Pathetic Bill, Silly Lilly Pilly, the Dancing Banana, Goolina, and Eugenie de Franval, and those are the sorts of names that people remember. There are groups out there that are like huge street gangs with warlord kings, man, so they're modern-day Ghengis Khans and Atilla the Huns, but who do people remember? Sociopaths. Guys like Suburban Ed make Son of Sam look like Sonny Bono, and with death being a temporary nuisance instead of a permanent nap, people look up to that shit. I don't really mind it, because I've gotten used to rubbing shoulders with mass murderers in Quartly Library, but it's still a really odd experience to think that Malton's Celebrities have bloody hands and ear necklaces for bling.

I guess it's a sad state of affairs when a lot of survivor-oriented celebrities like Ron Burgundy are giving it up to lay down and die, but that's unlife, man. I can't even think of any legit zombie celebrities, but that's a different culture, isn't it? It's like trying to talk about an alien culture. I guess there are a few folks out there like Kristi of the Dead and Sir Fred who are pretty well-known, but they're pretty thoroughly outnumbered by a red tidal wave of killers. MOst of us survivor types are known by association rather than by name. I hang with a pretty well-known crowd, but I'm just another head in the head count, doin' a J in the Reference section. I doubt most of Malton knows I'm alive again, and hey, that ain't so bad, you know? At least I'm somewhere quiet. -- Mitch 01:43, 1 May 2008 (BST)

Librarianbadge.jpg Literate
This user is a proud member of the Quartly Study Group

Mitch Hedberg.jpg Laugh and Death
You are like invited to the Quartly's open mic night, man.
Qsg-on-tour-route.jpg On Tour
This user is touring with the QSG, since they like the road less traveled by.

And traveling is fun.

Skullz n books.jpg World Traveller 2007
This user walked upon the road less travelled with the QSG, and, despite four different attacks by assassins, survived six months of Malton in barricade free environments.
Crayon children.jpg The Great Bookstore Rescue
With the help of the The Zodiacs, this Librarian rescued the ruined bookstores of Roftwood from the illiterate undead twice in one week

January 29th to February 3rd of 2008

Dungeonmasterguide.jpg Quartly Study Group
L i b r a r i a n
Quartlylibrary.JPG Education in Security
This user supports the The Quartly (66,52) as a no-kill-zone.
Open air.jpg Open Air: Feb 24th to Mar 19th
This user/group celebrated the
Quartly Library's no barricades policy
until an undead horde came to town.

Book of dead.jpg Index
Librarian small.jpg Free Information
Libraries are for everyone and should remain barricade free.

Shadow-of-the-colossus.JPG A Colossus Of Class
This user or group is part of the New Malton Colossus.

DaddySky.jpg Cremation
I am gonna grow up to be a cloud.
Books.jpg Centers of Learning
This user is a Centers of Learning Policy supporter.
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