User:Iscariot/Cloister the Stupid

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Cloister the Stupid

Cloister the Stupid is a pure zombie, originator of the idea of Mall Tour 2009 and former holder of a seat on the Mall Tourist Board.


And Cloister the Stupid spake, "Lo, I shall lead you to Fushal and there we shall open a temple of food, wherein shall be sausages and doughnuts and all manner of bountiful things. Yea, even individual sachets of mustard. And those who serve shall have hats of great majesty, yea though they be made of coloured cardboard and have humorous arrows through the top." Cloister also gave the cats five holy commandments. These where all lost in the holy wars, but one; You shall not be cool. That one of the others has something to do with a sheep is known.

Cloister was then frozen in time, and gave up his life so that the cats could live The cats then split up into two different factions. The ones who believed that the hats should be red, and the ones who believed the hats should be blue. Years of holy wars were declared over that. Finally they called a truce and built two arks and left Red Dwarf in search of Fushal. And Cloister gave to Frankenstein the sacred writing, saying "Those who have wisdom will know its meaning". And it was written thus: Seven socks, one shirt. And the ark that left first followed the sacred signs, and lo, they flew straight into an asteroid. And the righteous in the second ark flew ever onward, knowing that they were indeed righteous. - The Gospel of Cloister

The Origins of Cloister:
Waiting For God Part 1 of 3
Waiting For God Part 2 of 3
Waiting For God Part 3 of 3

On the 10th March 2009, with the help of Biker Nun and Kit N. Titzfeld, he was privileged to lecture at the Malton College of Medicine on the history of zombie events in Urban Dead. Another view of the lecture, including the amusing aftermath.

MTTemplate6.JPG Mall Tour 2009
This User or Group was a member of the Mall Tour 2009, and came to your local mall! Thanks for having lots of fresh brains ready when they arrived with all their friends.

MCMSeal.gif Malton College of Medicine
This user was a prestigious guest lecturer at
Malton College of Medicine.


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