User:Kokuzoku/Third Battle of Krinks

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Third Battle of Krinks


Date: 2010, May 26 - 2010, May 27
Place: Krinks Power Station
Result: Glorious Glitch Victory and Hostile Takeover

Combatants
WWSIS x Glitch

Groups
WWSIS :
Glitch :

Commanders
WWSIS : Zyckde (?)
Glitch : Kokuzoku + Ilovedeath44

Strength
WWSIS : 1 (?)
Glitch : 2

Casualties
WWSIS : 0 dead. (4.93 Innocents)
Glitch : 2 dead.


Third Battle of Krinks (the only one that matters)

Note: The content of this page is awesome.

The Third Battle of Krinks was a battle between the despicable Communist Party forces inhabiting the Krinks Power Station and the magnanimous forces of Glitch.

Casus Belli

The Enemy

Glitch members have watched from the shadows as Nazis and Communists have battled over control of the plant. It is the belief of Glitch that many of the National Socialist views are appalling and those who follow such an ideology are the scum of the earth. Unfortunately Glitch was unable to attend the festivities (AKA WWII Eastern Front Part 2) and arrived a day late to participate in the First Battle of Krinks and was too busy beating the Ackland chain kill into the ground during the second battle. With heavy hearts, Operation Inglorious Basterds was called off by the PC.

Killin' Nazis

Frankly, it sickens Glitch to know that the unruly communist were able to collect some Nazi scalps while some of us still owe Ilovedeath44 one hundred! And to make things worse they have the audacity to simply give away free power and to treat everyone as *gasp* equals. Being god-fearing capitalists, Glitch can not let this stand. The working man exists to be exploited and resources are meant to be hoarded.

The Battle

Artist's rendition of the Third Battle of Krinks.

Acting in the best interests of the people of Malton and possibly the entire world, Glitch launched a historically massive preemptive strike against the inhabitants of Krinks Power Station. In an unparalleled coordinated last minute two man strike of extreme skill, 4.93 out of 6 inhabitants were unceremoniously gunned down in their sleep. The sixth survivor, ironically likely the only actual member of one of the communist groups, escaped unharmed. In typical glitch fashion the attackers stood where they were or jumped from nearby buildings to their deaths.

Glitch Manifesto

In short, the Capitalists everywhere repress every revolutionary movement against the existing social and political order of things. In all these movements, they hold back, as the leading question in each, the property question, no matter what its degree of development at the time. Finally, they fight against labor everywhere for the union and agreement of the democratic parties of all countries. The Communists love to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing social conditions and drinking the Kool-Aid. Let the working classes tremble as the Communist revolution is suppressed. The proletarians have everything to lose. They have nothing to win. Industrialists of all countries, unite!

The Conclusion

I herd u leik Mudkipz.

All members of this communist alliance are hereby declared official employees of Glitch. Glitch will leave the power station to be operated by them so long as they charge for the use of the plant. The preexisting standards for the plant are now changed to this:

• The power station must always be powered and operational. We don’t make money unless we’re producing output. Well we have that bank error in our favor but that certainly isn’t enough.

• Zombies are allowed in as long as they are paying customers and do not produce an excessively negative impact on worker morale and productivity.

• Repairs are expensive. Unless the plant itself is threatened then leave it alone. If you’re going to fix it yourself on your lunch break then fine.

• You are all low priority. Get used to it.