User:Mallrat
From The Urban Dead Wiki
Contents |
[edit] From Sassenach to Kilted One
 | Member of The Kilt Store |
| Thurston Mallrat has found true freedom at The Kilt Store, in Nichols Mall, and vows to keep the store open so we can provide the finest in customer service. |
Originally a wuss from the once-leafy southern suburbs of Malton, Thurston Mallrat (aka 'The Mallrat') is now a wuss in the once-leafy southern suburb of Stanbury Village.
By blood he is related to the McMallrat clan of the Scottish Highlands, and is keen to establish the precise colours and weave of the clan tartan so that it can be included in The Kilt Store's inventory.
[edit] Habits, Clean and Otherwise
The Mallrat is often found strolling between Nichols Mall, home of the famous Kilt Store where he works (when it's open), the Went Building NT, Lorenzo General Hospital and Kersley Mansion, where he picks up his tweed clothing and does his laundry.
In his spare time between zombie massacres and cleaning up bloodstains, he enjoys broadcasting sports news about his beloved Celtic FC, picking dried brain matter from his kilt, and fiddling with his sporran when he thinks no-one's looking.
[edit] How to Spot The Mallrat
The Mallrat looks like any other wispily bearded teenager who has yet to master the cash register without losing a fingertip or two, although during working hours he is usually smartly attired in a tweed suit and kilt as per The Kilt Store's dress code.
[edit] Sonic Youth vs Chronic Death
After an idyllic adolescence spent zombie-dodging in such sleepy suburbs as Tapton, Kempsterbank, and Tollyton, Thurston found himself drawn to the historic centre of Malton and its notorious red districts, where humanity and zombie-dom appear locked in eternal struggle. Nowhere is this struggle more passionate or wittier than The Village, where Kilted Heroes do daily battle with genitally challenged rotters from the Ridleybank Resistance Front and other cesspools of brainless undead.
With the grim post-industrial landscape of Ridleybank to the north, Stanbury Village is the first bastion against the hordes; the thin red tartan line between life and a senseless undead existence.
Having found Malton's finest (and only) tartan showroom open for once, and successfully applied for a post with the Kilt Store, Thurston at last found a mission and a like-minded (and -kilted) group of survivors.
 | Good Grooming |
| Thurston Mallrat practices good grooming habits, and recommends that other Malton survivors do too. |
 | Grammar |
| Thurston, the Mallrat, supports the use of proper grammar and spelling on the Wiki. |
 | It's Humour, OK? |
| Thurston Mallrat supports the use of humour, even if other people spell it humor. |
| STFU N00B |
| Thurston recognizes the difference between a Newbie and a Noob. |
| Teetotaler |
| The Mallrat does not drink. |
| Two Pistols |
| Every character this user has carries two or more pistols at all times. |
 | Alt user |
| This user has alts but DOESN'T Zerg. |
