User:Mallrat/Thurston Mallrat

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From Sassenach to Kilted One

Kilt Store logo.JPG Member of The Kilt Store
Thurston Mallrat has found true freedom at The Kilt Store, in Nichols Mall, and vows to keep the store open so we can provide the finest in customer service.

Originally a wuss from the once-leafy southern suburbs of Malton, Thurston Mallrat (aka 'The Mallrat') is now a wuss in the once-leafy southern suburb of Stanbury Village.

By blood he is related to the McMallrat clan of the Scottish Highlands, and is keen to establish the precise colours and weave of the clan tartan so that it can be included in The Kilt Store's inventory.

The closest surviving record of McMallrat tartan.

Habits, Clean and Otherwise

Underpants.jpg Freedom!
Thurston wears a kilt and enjoys the freedom of the Trossachs

The Mallrat is often found strolling between Nichols Mall, home of the famous Kilt Store where he works (when it's open), the Went Building NT, Lorenzo General Hospital and Kersley Mansion, where he picks up his tweed clothing and does his laundry.

In his spare time between zombie massacres and cleaning up bloodstains, he enjoys broadcasting sports news about his beloved Celtic FC, picking dried brain matter from his kilt, and fiddling with his sporran when he thinks no-one's looking.

How to Spot The Mallrat

The Mallrat looks like any other wispily bearded teenager who has yet to master the cash register without losing a fingertip or two, although during working hours he is usually smartly attired in a kilt as per The Kilt Store's dress code, and a tweed suit obtained from that other source of stylish formal wear, Kersley Mansion.

Thurston does his best to keep his clothes clean and presentable, and apologises in advance to any customer who notices that he "has red on him", or is indeed soaked in blood from head to foot. Replacing cracked monocles is particularly tricky as the opticians are usually closed for business.

Are you being served?

Sonic Youth vs Chronic Death

After an idyllic adolescence spent zombie-dodging in such sleepy suburbs as Tapton, Kempsterbank, and Tollyton, Thurston found himself drawn to the historic centre of Malton and its notorious red districts, where humanity and zombie-dom appear locked in eternal struggle. Nowhere is this struggle more passionate or wittier than The Village, where Kilted Heroes do daily battle with genitally challenged rotters from the Ridleybank Resistance Front and other cesspools of brainless undead.

With the grim post-industrial landscape of Ridleybank to the north, Stanbury Village is the first bastion against the hordes; the thin red tartan line between life and a senseless undead existence.

Having found Malton's finest (and only) tartan showroom open for once, and successfully applied for a post with the Kilt Store, Thurston at last found a mission and a like-minded (and -kilted) group of survivors.

Badges of Honour

Good grooming.jpg Good Grooming
Thurston Mallrat practices good grooming habits, and recommends that other Malton survivors do too.


Warzone.jpg Adventure Tourist
This user goes on holiday
in ruined suburbs.


TroubridgeCinema2.jpg NOW PLAYING!
This user has been to TroubridgeCinema, and liked what was playing.


Smiley.png It's Humour, OK?
Thurston Mallrat supports the use of humour, even if other people spell it humor.


Fist.JPG Punch Out!
This user has punched a zed to DEATH. Or, you know, reDeath.


RightSaidFred.jpg Sexy
This user claims to be too sexy for his car, too sexy by far.


Balance scale.jpg Fair Tactics Player
This user has signed the Coalition for Fair Tactics Player Pledge.


Kmt.gif KEEP MALTON TIDY
Please use the receptacles provided.


NecroWatch.png NecroWatch
Thurston is a NecroTechnician who works with NecroWatch to monitor Malton's NecroNet system. Thurston has proven his dedication in the pursuit of truth and knowledge.



ALICE.png A.L.I.C.E. Is Watching...
Thurston is NOT paranoid. Thurston knows his every action is being closely monitored by A.L.I.C.E. and that she is manipulating everything and everyone to her own ends. It's all just one big test... ending with cake.



ForScience.gif Thurston's Ribbons
NecroTechnician - Rank 5 All-Seeing Eye Ghost Recon Morrish Sentinel
Latrobe Honorary Extinction Vigilance Blackmore Watchkeeper Barrville Tour of Duty Eastonwood Tour of Duty
Millen Hills Tour of Duty Molebank Tour of Duty Paynterton Tour of Duty Raines Hills Tour of Duty All Master Recon
Twin Tour of Duty
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