The Avatar of Awesome
Mark Whalberg is the First Facet of "The Awesome" Avatar sent by this Mystical and Mighty fundamental force of the universe. The Awesome has sent Whalberg, in its omnipotence and omniscience, to be the Harbinger of its Glory to Malton. Whalberg is to be the savior of this land. He is to purge this world of Suck, and Uncool. He was sent to spread the word of The Awesome, and to produce converts in its name.
Please notice the red glow of the "Fires of Hell" in his eyeballs. Mark Whalberg's penis is said to glow with a radiance that outshines the sun. Looking in the direction of his genitals is dangerous and to be avoided.
Leader of Team Zombie Hardcore and zombie killer extrordinaire. Frequently exaulted by his fans who pay tribute by spray painting "BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!" all across the suburbs.
Mark Whalberg was not born like mere mortal men. Nay, he was spontaneously exploded into existence from a volcanic crater on the moon. Thats right the moon. He then rocketed to Earth propelled by his tank/penis seen here:
(The A Team movie totally stole this idea)
known aliases: The Minister, Tracker, John Holmes, Hardcore, Night Train.
Mark Whalberg, is believed by his followers to have supernatural powers of awesomeness. This is referenced when they make the exclamation "ALL HAIL THE DIVINE MARK WHALBERG". Members of TZH claim that Whalberg has recently returned to Malton after a secret mission out of the burb, to Russia, where he beat total ass and learned to play guitar.
Mark Whalberg drives an Ice-Cream truck covered in human skulls.
The FOREIGNER BELT!
Whalberg, in his never ending quest for greater awesomeness, has acquired the legendary FOREIGNER BELT. Once worn by Ignignot and Carl, the belt is now Whalberg's. Oddly enough, the Whalbergium particles seem to have a synergistic effect on the belt, increasing its power to even greater levels. The laws of thermodynamics are being rewritten on this one. Observe the visible green radiation that surrounds the belt. Badass. And remember people, Whalberg didn't read the instructions, because he don't need no instructions to know how to rock! And oh yeah, he wears the belt real low, because he's gangsta.
There is now a group of Maltonian scientists that claim to have conclusive evidence that Mark Whalberg was in fact, from the Moon. Da Moon Rulez #1!
Here is a link to an informational site concerning the Moon, for all of those who might not be familiar. Unfortunately, this page is not up to date concerning life on the Moon, however Awesome said life might be... er... is.
New report by Maltonian Scientists
Maltonian researchers have begun to collect the urine of Mark Whalberg. They have then gone ahead and marketed it as a substance known as "Brawndo". It does all of the things it says in the commercial: Whalberg Piss!
The Beyonder And Mark Whalberg
The Beyonder and Mark Whalberg met while they were travelling Space and Time, and after discovering His Awesomeness, Mark Whalberg appointed The Beyonder as The High Pimp Of Awesomeness and Hardcore, creating The Grand Alliance of Hardcore Heroes, foever dedicated to Pimping and Smacking Bitches Wif Da Power Awesome, and Generally going BALLS TO THA WHALLS in all aspects of life. The Church Of The Beyonder and Team Zombie Hardcore entered The Hardcore Alliance, dedicated to living up to their Dietie's ideals of Pimping, Hardcore, and general Awesomeness, spreading BALLS TO THA WHALLS everywhere.
To This day, the two dieties remain (Non-Gay) Best Friends Forever.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
expression, slang - English.
1)To try your best, give everything you've got in an endeavour
2)To try very hard in a sporting event, for example a race
3)A testicular tagging tribute paid to Mark Whalberg leader of Team Zombie Hardcore.