|
The Radical Whig
Status
Defending Malton's liberty from the mindless, shambling masses, as well as the zombies.
Background
Why I killed you- You talked too loud. I could hear you from another building. It got on my nerves.
But that is not why I killed you. (though it certainly doesn't help)
I killed you because you talk while survivors who actually deserve to live get eaten by zombies in other suburbs. And you sat in safety from your stupid pub or Mall and did jack shit about it, wasting space. How dare you call yourself a survivor. A word like "floating" or "aimless" would be better. If we combine those, we get "flotsam". Or "foamteis" or "aotlengs" or "flai ...yeah, I think I'll just go with flotsam.
Yes, flotsam. That means floating scraps of junk accidentally left drifting on the high seas. Just as purposeless, pathetic and inert as the average Maltonian. An apt metaphor. But let's be fair now! You're not really like flotsam. Because literal flotsam doesn't bitch as much as you do. And it's not as fun to shoot it and watch it bleed. Because it doesn't bleed. I'd be uncomfortable if I shot flotsam and it bled, because that means I shot a fish. And fish don't deserve to die. I'd much rather shoot you.
Because, you see, flotsam, I'm actually doing you a favor by shooting you. A massive, AP-intensive favor, where I save you from yourself. Liberating you from the chains of complacency, and educating your ignorant mind through force. And enjoying watching your blood flow in pretty little rivers and patterns, but that's just a side-effect. It's all about keeping you on your toes by blowing you off of them. I hope you understand.
So, when an actual zombie attack like the March of the Dead happens again, you'll spend less time dying and whining like over-entitled, obese cattle and more time actually being a survivor, because you'll remember that people, you know, are supposed to actually fight zombies in a zombie apocalypse (I know, weird right?). I'll remind you via mister .45 here, and you will receive periodic magazine updates from time to time. You're welcome.
Bang.
Battle Honours
| IT'S A GOOD START
|
| Kill 20 survivors.
|
| MULTI-KILL
|
| Killed 3 survivors in a row.
|
| BEST SERVED COLD
|
| Avenge another FOD member's death.
|
| DASTARDLY ROGUE
|
| Achieved KOS status on the RG.
|
| GOLDEN GLOVE
|
| Killed a Survivor with their Bare Hands.
|
| MEAN DRUNK
|
| Killed a Survivor with a beer or wine bottle.
|
|
| A Rose By Any Other Name
|
| Kill a survivor with a flower in their name or description.
|
| Déjà vu
|
| Kill the same survivor twice within 24 hours.
|
| ZODIAC KILLER
|
| Kill targets with creation dates of every zodiac sign.
|
|
| FOLLOW THE LEADER
|
| Successfully lead a Strike.
|
| ZIDANE
|
| Killed a Survivor with a Headbutt.
|
|
| AMMO DUMP
|
| Used 48 straight AP firing pistols or shotguns.
|
| I'M JUST WARMING UP
|
| Kill 50 survivors.
|
|
| FLORAL SACRIFICE
|
| Went negative reviving another FOD.
|
|
| THE DOCTOR IS IN
|
| Revived 10 FOD.
|
|
| HEAVY LIFTER
|
| Dropped a target to 1HP and gave the kill to another FOD.
|
|
| GETTING HANDSY
|
| Killed a Survivor with Maul attack.
|
|
| DOPPLEGANGER
|
| Killed a survivor with a very similar name.
|
Flotsam Pruned: 110
Righteous Comrades Revived: 13
| 
