User:Rosslessness/Battle of Tebbett

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The Battle of Tebbett

Date: April 13th, aprox 10:00 (BST), 2012
Place: The Tebbett Building, Buttonville
Result: Total Rosslessness Victory

Rosslessness vs Nazi Zombies

- Attackers : Rosslessness
- Nazi Zombies : Cornholioo

- Rosslessness : 1
- Nazi Zombies : 34

- Attackers : 0
- Nazi Zombies : 0

Haven't you left yet?
-Cornhollio, during the battle of Buckley Mall.

The Battle of Tebbett was an operation undertaken by Rosslessness in Buttonville. It took place on April 13th, aprox 10:00 (BST), 2012. It lasted about 9 minutes.

The constant thorn

As usual when being bored, Rosslessness decided to wander over to Williamsville as it seemed the source of most Malton Drama. Chancing upon The Blitz , he busied himself repairing NT's, grabbing profile ID's for the lovely Nazi Zombies and generally seeing what the situation on the ground actually was. In traditional fashion, the Nazis were doing an excellent job of self promotion/propaganda, and it seemed only fair someone actually found out the true picture.

Over this time Rosslessness personally reclaimed 10 Necrotech buildings, and managed to grab the profile ID's of 29 of the groups 34 members. It was largely thanks to him that after two weeks, the Nazi campaign could have been counted as a total failure; as survivors simultaneously controlled all NT's in the warzone.

Indeed, in addition Ross, personally delayed the Zombie Nazis declaration of a tactical victory, as their members clearly admit.

An Actual Thorn

Pushing onwards from his own personal victory against much superior forces, Ross then moved on to Battle of Buckley Mall. However, he was delayed repairing both NT's in Dartside and two in Kinch Heights, so only arrived after 29 zombies had breached the mall.

Zombie Nazis lack of experience showed again. Rather than use their numbers to camp and control the mall, they concentrated on the NW corner. Because of this survivors could freely enter the mall, repair a corner for a single AP and use it as an excellent source of Ammunition and generators.

In addition, Zombie Nazis greatest flaw again became apparent; Impatience. More and more of the group spread out to attack neighbouring buildings.

Then foolishly, they declared the battle won on the 12th, less than two days after the battle began. It was then Rosslessness decided to strike.

The Battle of Tebbett

Although several buildings had fallen, Ross Decided to focus on the Tebbett building. Undead scouting had shown it full of Nazis, and Rosslessness identified it as the most important building to help reclaim the area.

On the morning of the 13th Rosslessness single handedly attacked the building, devastating all those inhabitants inside, before clearing and repairing the building. What was imagined to be a long hard fought siege was completed single handedly, and in only moments. Again the flaw with Blitzkrieg was revealed. It is very easy to take a building, but very hard to defend it.


Appropriate celebration levels.

The ease of victory was a welcome relief for the entire area. Several huge parties were arranged and fireworks lit up the sky, saved for a momentous moment like this. The scale of the victory was unsurpassed in the entire history of urban dead. Indeed it was suggested that the ghost of Ron Burgundy was seen walking through the crowds.

Local civic leaders immediately discussed plans to honour Ross, including renaming Rosenhagen Plaza in his honour, creating a brand new suburb due south of Buttonville to honour him or even sacrificing the suburbs Mayor and well known celebrity Alan the medium sized rabbit in his honour.

In the end, slightly the worse for wear, Ross declared he only wanted a giant statue constructed in his honour. Over the course of the evening several designs were rejected, for being "Not Iron Gianty enough", before a final drawing was accepted.


The Zombie Nazis were entirely broken by the attack. Several Hours past with no sound of a counter-attack, before finally news was received that their members had fled, all the way to West Greyside, in order to attack people less awesome than Ross.

The Horde retreat before the Awesomeness

Sadly, in the end there was tragedy. In his drunken state, Ross fell off the Tebbett building to his death, and had to wander over to the local RP. But in the ruins of his brain he felt proud that due to his own efforts, he was the only zombie there.

He was revived shortly after by the almost awesome Groovymarlin of The Randoms. The Mission was complete.


Total Rosslessness Victory

Curiously the previous weeks had shown how the methods of the Nazis closely mirrored that of its leader. Big all or nothing attacks, followed by a lack of long term planning, led to showy displays of blunt force, but little in the way of substance. The Battle showed that differing styles of play work well in differing circumstances, and that no one side in urban dead will ever truly be victorious. All victories are short term.