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This is the home page for Sidestreamer and his two alt accounts, Sidestreamerx and SidestreamerQ, and this link will take you to more Sidestreamer references than you could possibly care about. He is also SidestreamerM in Monroeville.

I ain't much of a role-player, but just so I can somewhat fit in, the next section is dedicated to those of you that do:

This is Not Me

I came to Malton on a bank heist and the dream of getting away with it. I was, too. Capped a few cops and I was making my way out, but then all of a sudden they built this wall on my way out. I couldn't believe that shit.

Then this ugly green motherfucker started getting all in my face too. I mean, you get this smelly fool with his teeth showing out of his cheek and his ear just lobs off with a right hook. What the fuck is up with that? And he tried to bite me, like some Mike Tyson or some shit, so I had enough of his ass and I capped him right in the forehead, and then I capped the guy next to me because I needed some spare change for a good hamburger.

I went to Tompson Mall though and then I noticed that these fools built a barricade around the entrances. They were saying it was to keep the zombies out or some bullshit like that. I thought for a minute that this guy was playing, then I saw another ugly green mofo get behind the guy and ATE HIM. HE MOTHERFUCKING ATE THAT GUY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! That freaked me out, man, seeing green people eating everyone else, and I knew something wasn't right, and I glock was empty now so had to fuckin' beat his ass with my bare fist. I was scared to do it though, and I normally don't run from anyone but the pigs.

As I beat that green guy dead though, I realized, there were no pigs around. I can cap any motherfucker I want, and that's going to help once I can get over the goddamn wall. Money's gonna come cheap now.

OOC Modus Operandi

I am an unabashed PKer. I formerly used three alts, though currently SidestreamerX and SidestreamerQ are retired. I openly announce my alt is a PKer, because hiding it takes the challenge away, and PKing wouldn't be fun if it was easy.

I will only kill zombies that attack me, zombies that are on my blacklist for killing me while they were alive, or zombies in revive areas, simply because killing zombies in revive points is funny. Other zombies aren't worth my time.

I will defend Real_Gamer and consider his enemies my enemies, and that means if you try to shut him up, I will kill you, because it is my firm belief that someone should systematically make n00bs open their mouths on concrete curbs so that RGZ can freely stomp on the backs of their heads and make them eat it. N00bs are the source of all our global problems and must be exterminated, and only RGZ has the courage to remind us every day, in ALLCAPS.

Like RGZ, I hate emos and think they should be shot as well. I also think people who take Urban Dead too seriously need to be driven out of here. And if you look at me funny, I think you deserve to die. Slowly. As you hang from a salted meat hook, strung by your own intestines in front of frenzied horse flies.

Killer.jpg Player Killer
"One kills a man, one is an assassin; one kills millions, one is a conqueror; one kills everybody, one is a god."

This user is a PKer and supports the act of Player Killing.

List of Those I Murdered

I have been doing it for some time, but since July 26, 2008 I decided to keep an exact tally... so, if you have experienced my infernal majesty, your name and profile will appear here. Do note that none of my three alts work in tandem. They are kept in separate parts of Malton and I will challenge any accusation of zerging made against me.


Peacemaker dph - July 28, 2008

Nurse Houlihan - July 29, 2008 (motive)

Lil Bunny Fufu - July 29, 2008

OG Phatazz GG - July 31, 2008

Godred - August 7, 2008

Bruce Kabutz - August 10, 2008

Furby of Doom GG - August 10, 2008


Seymore Guts - July 26, 2008

Alice Tudor - July 29, 2008

Vei Vei - July 29, 2008

A Giant Percocet - July 31, 2008

Poopster5000- August 1, 2008

Hornhunter - August 1, 2008

Rathpig - August 3, 2008 (Revenge for Slug02)

Met Fan - August 4, 2008

Cyrus McGlenn - August 8, 2008

jackspear9 - August 8, 2008

Kikashie - August 9, 2008 (For some unexplained reason, my history blanked right when I did the actual kill so I couldn't get an Iwitness report on it, but I did end up killing him.)

The Townsend Bank Massacre of Nov. 13, 2008






KK47 - July 28, 2008 (And immediately after he revived me too, LMFAO)

Marc Kolnikov - August 3, 2008

Kojim - August 7, 2008

James O'Farrell - August 7, 2008

Winston Black - August 7, 2008

Will Nolte - August 8, 2008

Broadcast Archives

June 9, 2008

   * 28.01 MHz: "Real GAYmer? is that the best insult you have against him?" (10 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "If you're going to attack the RGZ at least come up with" (10 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "something witty, you intellectual fetus. I'd offer to bust" (9 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "your head open for decoration but I wouldn't find much paint" (7 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "Malton is so full of witless 'tards, Just hearing your dull" (6 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "blathering makes my brain shrivel. RGZ will take care of all" (5 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "of you soon and smash his foot right through your intestines" (4 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "and launch them out your ass in a bloody puree, and we'll" (3 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "consider it evolution. You will be more useful with your" (3 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "intestines feeding the ants on the pavement." (2 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "This is the Sidestreamer Show." (2 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "Words you don't need, but I'll fuc'kin dish it to you anyway" (1 minute ago)

June ??, 2008

   * 28.01 MHz: "Needless to say, the ANDROID show will be cancelled. However" (1 hour and 2 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "we would like to bring to you an eclectic selection of PKs" (1 hour and 2 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "live on the air, here at Sidestreamer FM. We know only the" (1 hour and 1 minute ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "most gruesome and senseless murders can provide Malton with" (1 hour and 1 minute ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "quality entertainment. So tonight, listen to the beautiful" (exactly 1 hour ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "tranquil sounds of Erica Rackham gurgling her own blood at" (59 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "the Cholmondeley building in Penny Heights." (59 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "'just heard Erica gargle her own blood. More easy killing" (54 minutes ago)
   * 28.01 MHz: "favorites to come. This is Sidestreamer FM." (54 minutes ago)
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