User:The Devil

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The Devil (talk | contribs | logs | block | IP Check | vndl data | discuss)

User:The Devil/Sandbox/Pluto

User:The Devil/Sandbox
Template:Idiot
Burnthewitch.jpg Idiot
This user is a complete and utter moron.
Sonny.jpg I am Sonny!
This user claims to be Sonny Corleone.

To all mods: this user page is based off of the user page of the former user GOD and I am in no way in relations to that user. Right now my user page is UNDER CONSTUCTION and is NOT FINISHED!!!. I am originally copy pasting gods page to mine to make it easier to copy and change code. Also question for the mods am I allowed to use the custom title of "satan" since I am starting out with that name? Don't want to get warned like god did. How about my "you are going to hell" message?


You are going to Hell.
† The "D" in "Die" †


A citizen of Malton dares to defy the will of Satan.
Pictured Above: Some jerks have a problem with shit.
  • 1. Satan
    • a. chief spirit of evil and adversary of God; tempter of mankind; master of Hell
  • 2. Security Administrator's Integrated Network Tool
  • 3. Satan, contrary; adversary; enemy; accuser
  • 4. adversary; accuser. When used as a proper name, the Hebrew word so rendered has

the article "the adversary" (Job 1:6-12; 2:1-7). In the New Testament it is used as interchangeable with Diabolos, or the devil, and is so used more than thirty times. He is also called "the dragon," "the old serpent" (Rev. 12:9; 20:2); "the prince of this world" (John 12:31; 14:30); "the prince of the power of the air" (Eph. 2:2); "the god of this world" (2 Cor. 4:4); "the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience" (Eph. 2:2). The distinct personality of Satan and his activity among men are thus obviously recognized. He tempted our Lord in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1-11). He is "Beelzebub, the prince of the devils" (12:24). He is "the constant enemy of God, of Christ, of the divine kingdom, of the followers of Christ, and of all truth; full of falsehood and all malice, and exciting and seducing to evil in every possible way." His power is very great in the world. He is a "roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Pet. 5:8). Men are said to be "taken captive by him" (2 Tim. 2:26). Christians are warned against his "devices" (2 Cor. 2:11), and called on to "resist" him (James 4:7). Christ redeems his people from "him that had the power of death, that is, the devil" (Heb. 2:14). Satan has the "power of death," not as lord, but simply as executioner. (From Dictionary.com)

The Devil and Malton

This is what happens when The Devil get angry.
The earth sucks.jpg Our Lord Satan
This user could destroy the world in less than 7 days. What did you do? You reached level 50 on Urban Dead? ... Well, that's nice, too.

Long considered cruel and vengeful, Satan has come to Malton and is dealing out some heavy Theophobia. He has done so largely in order to help facilitate the Zombie apocalypse. Secondarily, he has become tired of sitting in his burning fortress in the center of the earth, listening to that damned screeming all fucking day. This is indeed the end of days, and the Devil himself is levelling his shotgun of Unholy destruction at whomever he sets his unholy eyes upon.

Malton seemed like the best place for our Lord Satan to begin armageddon. Full of sinners, fools, and liars, Malton has indeed become the next Sodom.

Long have theologists pondered this one question... "Can God create a zombie more heinous than Satan can headshot?" Finally, the world will have its answer...



The Devil Loaths You

Several students at Vaux Grove School proclaim "Under God" during the pledge of allegence.

As you may well know, Satan does indeed love all of his dastardly creations. Although he takes much pleasure in mercilessly slaughtering them like hopeless minks.

Satan so hates the Earth that he can no longer abide the rampant peace and unimaginable love that grips the globe. Malton is the starting point for complete annhiliation. Point A in a bloody scar that will be drawn across the face of this diseased planet.

The Lord Satan has taken many forms during the outbreak.

First he became a mighty wind, which blew a particularly ominous-looking "BIOHAZARD" test tube off of a Necrotech shelf.

Secondly, our Lord Satan became a tremendous elephant which devoured and crushed all non-human life within the city.

The Lord's third and final form was that of a police officer in Malton, wearing a flak jacket as a bit of a joke and toting around seventeen shotguns, twenty pistols, three generators, and a thermonuclear device. In his all-encompasing wisdom, the Lord Satan created a dazzling technicolor tenchcoat to conceal his unholy weaponry.

Commandments

Vaudeville Comedian "Gabby Sternums" tells a joke which The Devil does not laugh at.
  1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
  2. Thou shalt not take the Lord Satan's name in vain.
  3. Thou shalt not keep holy the Sabbath day.
  4. Thou shalt disrespect thy father and thy mother.
  5. Thou shalt kill.
  6. Thou shalt commit adultery.
  7. Thou shalt not steal.
  8. Thou shalt not bear false witness.
  9. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's wife.
  10. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's goods.

Factoids

The standard Atheist.
God speaks to a young Joan of Arc.
Satan, enemy of God.

It has been said that the Lord Satan works in mysterious ways. Even the most learned of holy men do not claim to understand the entirety of his greatness.

Since the apocalypse is nigh, the Lord has seen fit to release a few little-known facts about himself. What follow are declassified secrets pertaining to the Lord Satan. Perhaps this will answer some questions and help bring some unbelievers to the light.

  1. The Lord named Adam after 60s television Batman, Adam West.
  2. The Lord frequently refers to mortals as "breakables".
  3. The Lord enjoys light jazz.
  4. The Lord owns the only working Time Machine in existence.
  5. The Lord is an avid collector of Beanie Babies.
  6. Six of the seven ingredients in KFC's secret recipe are God.
  7. The seventh ingredient is thyme.
  8. The Lord has high score on all existing Ms. Pacman arcade games.
  9. The Lord enjoys shopping at Hot Topic.
  10. The Lord has retractable claws and a healing factor.
  11. The Platypus was created while God was suffering a seizure.
  12. Noah was actually told to get four of each animal. Lazy fuck.
  13. The Lord won a DDR competition using only his index finger.
  14. The Lord had a walk-on part in "Bedtime for Bonzo".
  15. The Lord created the Earth in 3 days, but didn't want to brag
  16. The Lord has never found time to actually proof-read the Bible.
  17. When you're in the shower, yes, the Lord is usually watching.
  18. The Lord double-dog-dared Lee Harvey Oswald to shoot JFK.
  19. The Lord rolls into a ball when threatened.
  20. The Lord coined the phrase "How's it Hangin'?"

The Lord's Templates

For no one has more respect of the dead than Death himself...



Pentagram.JPG
Antichrist
The Lord God thinks that somebody here is the Antichrist.


God.jpg Worship God!
This user believes God is amazing and that everyone should worship Him.


Crucifixion.jpg This User > Jesus
This user claims to be better than Jesus


Noob.gif I'm Smarter
This user is smarter than you.


Sinq.jpg Well!
This user certainly didn't expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition!

Ask the Lord

An early attempt at direct communication with one Mrs. Eunice Nardlery of Liverpool, age 93.



"Honest" Abe Vigoda, pictured above in the process of surviving.

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