User:Vapor/sandbox/LNTVC2

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LNTVC.jpg
The Late Night TV Crue
LNTVC-2.jpg
Abbreviation: LNTVC
Group Numbers: undisclosed
Leadership: none
Goals: eradication of that pesky Valkyrie infestation in Lockettside
Recruitment Policy: Apply Here
Contact: Talk here or here




Beware idiots of Malton - the Late Night TV Crue is here


We've seen a lot of mediocrity around Malton, and we've been gathering reams of material. We're entertainers, but we're mostly concerned with entertaining ourselves.


Born of an intense hatred of the Lockettside Valkyries several of us decided that it was time to band together and haze the stupid and zergatious through repeated assassination. We have spent much of our pilot season at St. Alexander's hospital in Lockettside, but we've begun to plan shooting at other locations.

With the return of Zoomy's latest sock-puppet editing the wiki ,aka "Illusionist", the LNTVC will return to Lockettside to kill Valkyries.


We plan on being among Malton's most feared PK'ing group ever. We've amassed talent from several cable networks and pirate radio transmitters - and this time we're working not for Neilson rating points, we're knocking out survivor hit points. When we say "we killed 'em out there!" this time we mean it. So keep your television sets aglow kiddies of Malton - we're coming soon to a safehouse near YOU!!


Want to join up? We're always looking for new blood - and the ability to simultaneously spill more than we currently can! Leave a message on our talk page or follow the link to our forum.

Anyway, we've got a really big show planned. So have a seat and enjoy.




This time, it's Personal


The Sarah Silverman Program

220 DISC The Sarah Silverman Program


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The Sarah Silverman Program

Click on my name above to get to my personal page!!

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec non odio ante. Vivamus fermentum libero libero. Maecenas vel nibh nulla. Vivamus ut leo arcu. In lacus mauris, cursus in interdum sed, dictum condimentum tortor. Morbi convallis, enim eget sagittis imperdiet, elit orci sagittis dolor, ut fringilla mauris lacus ut ligula. Phasellus aliquam ultrices neque eget congue.

Mauris velit ante, varius a gravida vel, vulputate non urna. Nullam porttitor, turpis ac tempor consequat, neque lectus fringilla libero, sit amet malesuada nulla augue vel erat. Vestibulum ut enim est, placerat pharetra nulla. Nulla rutrum, mi non ullamcorper placerat, erat ante molestie massa, non rutrum ligula ipsum a enim. Pellentesque et hendrerit ante. Aliquam bibendum tincidunt tortor non tempor. Nunc in orci laoreet justo lobortis interdum. Vivamus sapien purus, semper a iaculis venenatis, malesuada in arcu. Maecenas mi urna, sodales rhoncus euismod et, pretium sed ipsum. Vestibulum a elit arcu. Praesent sit amet justo et risus imperdiet pulvinar. Sed vel massa erat. Etiam at arcu eros, a sagittis lorem. Ut tempor metus eu lacus dignissim imperdiet. Sed rhoncus scelerisque dolor sed sagittis.

The Colbert Report

220 DISC The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report

I'm kicking ass and taking names. I wasn't taking names at first, but now, I'm sorta into it and can't stop.

Since I started keeping count, at least 100 of Maltons citizens have succumbed to lead poisoning in my presence. Click the title here and go to my page for more details.

And don't forget to buy Vaxadrin!!

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec non odio ante. Vivamus fermentum libero libero. Maecenas vel nibh nulla. Vivamus ut leo arcu. In lacus mauris, cursus in interdum sed, dictum condimentum tortor. Morbi convallis, enim eget sagittis imperdiet, elit orci sagittis dolor, ut fringilla mauris lacus ut ligula. Phasellus aliquam ultrices neque eget congue.

Mauris velit ante, varius a gravida vel, vulputate non urna. Nullam porttitor, turpis ac tempor consequat, neque lectus fringilla libero, sit amet malesuada nulla augue vel erat. Vestibulum ut enim est, placerat pharetra nulla. Nulla rutrum, mi non ullamcorper placerat, erat ante molestie massa, non rutrum ligula ipsum a enim. Pellentesque et hendrerit ante. Aliquam bibendum tincidunt tortor non tempor. Nunc in orci laoreet justo lobortis interdum. Vivamus sapien purus, semper a iaculis venenatis, malesuada in arcu. Maecenas mi urna, sodales rhoncus euismod et, pretium sed ipsum. Vestibulum a elit arcu. Praesent sit amet justo et risus imperdiet pulvinar. Sed vel massa erat. Etiam at arcu eros, a sagittis lorem. Ut tempor metus eu lacus dignissim imperdiet. Sed rhoncus scelerisque dolor sed sagittis.

Jackhole Productions

220 DISC Jackhole Productions
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Jackhole Productions

I like to target the following Malton Valkyries:

  • Oliver Sykes
  • ChillPill1
  • Doc Jim
  • Izumi Orimoto, zerger

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec non odio ante. Vivamus fermentum libero libero. Maecenas vel nibh nulla. Vivamus ut leo arcu. In lacus mauris, cursus in interdum sed, dictum condimentum tortor. Morbi convallis, enim eget sagittis imperdiet, elit orci sagittis dolor, ut fringilla mauris lacus ut ligula. Phasellus aliquam ultrices neque eget congue.

Mauris velit ante, varius a gravida vel, vulputate non urna. Nullam porttitor, turpis ac tempor consequat, neque lectus fringilla libero, sit amet malesuada nulla augue vel erat. Vestibulum ut enim est, placerat pharetra nulla. Nulla rutrum, mi non ullamcorper placerat, erat ante molestie massa, non rutrum ligula ipsum a enim. Pellentesque et hendrerit ante. Aliquam bibendum tincidunt tortor non tempor. Nunc in orci laoreet justo lobortis interdum. Vivamus sapien purus, semper a iaculis venenatis, malesuada in arcu. Maecenas mi urna, sodales rhoncus euismod et, pretium sed ipsum. Vestibulum a elit arcu. Praesent sit amet justo et risus imperdiet pulvinar. Sed vel massa erat. Etiam at arcu eros, a sagittis lorem. Ut tempor metus eu lacus dignissim imperdiet. Sed rhoncus scelerisque dolor sed sagittis.

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

220 DISC Triumph the Dog


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Triumph the Dog

I am Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec non odio ante. Vivamus fermentum libero libero. Maecenas vel nibh nulla. Vivamus ut leo arcu. In lacus mauris, cursus in interdum sed, dictum condimentum tortor. Morbi convallis, enim eget sagittis imperdiet, elit orci sagittis dolor, ut fringilla mauris lacus ut ligula. Phasellus aliquam ultrices neque eget congue.

Mauris velit ante, varius a gravida vel, vulputate non urna. Nullam porttitor, turpis ac tempor consequat, neque lectus fringilla libero, sit amet malesuada nulla augue vel erat. Vestibulum ut enim est, placerat pharetra nulla. Nulla rutrum, mi non ullamcorper placerat, erat ante molestie massa, non rutrum ligula ipsum a enim. Pellentesque et hendrerit ante. Aliquam bibendum tincidunt tortor non tempor. Nunc in orci laoreet justo lobortis interdum. Vivamus sapien purus, semper a iaculis venenatis, malesuada in arcu. Maecenas mi urna, sodales rhoncus euismod et, pretium sed ipsum. Vestibulum a elit arcu. Praesent sit amet justo et risus imperdiet pulvinar. Sed vel massa erat. Etiam at arcu eros, a sagittis lorem. Ut tempor metus eu lacus dignissim imperdiet. Sed rhoncus scelerisque dolor sed sagittis.

Broflovski's Bitches

220 DISC Broflovski's Bitches
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Broflovski's Bitches

I suspect they're all from Canada:

  • Nurse Southwesty
  • lilpippi
  • Zigs

Latest News

MSNBC Latest News

February 8th, 2013 - ANNNNNNND.... We're Back!

Wow, that was one LONG commercial break, eh folks? I'm pleased to restore this page to it's former... uh, mediocrity. We'll get on that maybe at some point. But at least our history is here again, and those silly colors of the The New Valk page are gone. For those wanting to see that (though I kind of ruined it, here's a link:

LNTVC's New Lockettside Valkyrie's Campaign

That was fun while it lasted.

So, up next we've got a new program laid out for you. Remember way back in early 2008 when Team Zombie Hardcore caused the Entertainment Write's Strike? Yeah, that sucked. We were beset with all sorts of bad reality TV, and lots of great folks in Hollywood had to switch to the cheaper kind of caviar, and only buy hookers and blow once a week instead of three.

Here's some of the history of that effort.

Well, thank you fans in Malton for a great campaign then to punish the loser Mark Whalberg and his idiot minions for degrading Malton's entertainment.

Thankfully, Golam of the Philosophe Knights kept up the pressure to excise this horrible blight on Malton society. Here is a great accounting of those efforts.

Sadly, we've now learned that TZH is working with dark and powerful forces in Malton, like The Koch Brothers and Justin Bieber to ensure that next season there is nothing but crap like Honey Boo Boo and "I just shat a marble" on television.

They Must Be STOPPED!

So, once again fair citizens of Malton - we call on you to help us punish every member of Team Zombie Hardcore you see.

If you're so inclined, kill one of them.

If that's not your style, YOU CAN STILL HELP - just punch any member you see in the face and say, "I want quality TV in Malton!"

That's all it takes.

Thanks, and watch this space for more updates!!

Oh, and in case you need another reason to hate TZH, remember when Mark Whalberg said this about how he'd have been able to prevent 9/11?:

Wahlberg1.jpg
“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he tells the magazine. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” [1]?

Remember when he fucked a bear revealing he's a dirty furry fetisher?
Whalberg-furry.jpg

Let's teach theses un-Maltonian bastards a lesson.


Kiss kiss, and it's good to be back!

--Sarah Silverman 15:00, 8 February 2013 (UTC)





February 1st, 2013 - We're Getting the Band Back together...

As all of Malton knows, in the immortal words of Donald "Duck" Dunn, "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." We're not really on a mission from God, but at least to improve our ratings. Or maybe I'll get to fuck Matt Damon again.


This to say: we're back. Jimmy's up (well, not currently - Zoomy killed him yesterday), Stephen's up, and Triumph is nearby. So while I haven't had time yet to really clean up this place, I will start sharing some of our good times.


Carolina Cross is one of my new favorite people. I'm bummed I can't remember what I said to her. But she's the bestest in my book:


Carolina Cross snip.JPG


I killed Zoomy again today. Here are the highlights:

Zoomy1.JPG Zoomy2.JPG Zoomy3.JPG

I'm going to put this identical content up on the LNTVC page. This will be my last cross link. I'm realizing I should update there again now, if others are awake.

Kiss kiss!



July 20th, 2008 - back at Soap Opera Hospital

· eVo Legend Killer said "tell them to hold on a sec so i can go get more ammo lmao" (2 minutes ago)

· Sheila Broflovski killed Dragon Fang. (2 minutes ago)

· Jimmy Kimmel said "Taht's what you get for harboring my ex bitch girlfriend" (2 minutes ago)

· Jimmy Kimmel killed Somnambulation Man. (1 minute ago) ...and again.

· Jimmy Kimmel said "Stupid Man, don't mess with the Crue!" (1 minute ago) .


    • Yo Einstein Kimmel - use THREE equals signs for these headers on this page for news items. --Sarah Silverman 18:27, 21 July 2008 (BST)


July 18th, 2008 - And so it BEGINS

OK, so I have no idea what's up with this group. It may take Johnnie Cochrane or something to figure it out, but in the interim I'm going to keep updating here, well because I was the only one who ever fucking did it anyway. I see the Pilsbury Dough Boy posted our little conversation below, so I'll put a thing or two here myself, and we'll see what happens.


I'll probably just update my own page for a while. I may just be drunk. Anyway, kiss kiss!


· 28.01 MHz: "Long time no see peeps! Sarah Silverman here, and I’m sure" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "you’ve all desperately missed my kisses. I know of one fat" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "unfunny ..." static "... who is certainly missing those and more right" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "now. So, it’s time to start my latest episode for your" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "entertainment, and kick off the “Hell Hath No Fury” Tour" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "My primary target – and yours I hope –" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: " is the asswipe Jimmy Kimmel." (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Please kill him wherever you encounter him, living or dead," (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "at every opportunity. Also, please kill anyone named Jim," (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "or James. Anyone with My in their name. That goes for" (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Kim, and Mel too." (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that reminds you of Jimmy should also die." (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that is pudgy – dead" (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that tries to be funny – worthy of killing." (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Any time you think of Jimmy Kimmel for some reason," (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "kill someone. You get the idea. I’ll be seeing you all ar" (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "around! This is Sarah Silverman signing off" (35 seconds ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "with a big huge good to be back -Kiss kiss!" (25 seconds ago)





July 15, 2008 - And so it ends...

Since your last turn:

  • 28.01 MHz: "rEaL_gAmERZ=fag rEaL_gAmERZ = national pole rider" (11 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "Sarah you slut" (9 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "you weren't supposed to really fuck Matt Damon" (8 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "Well well well, if it isn't that lying cheat Jimmy Kimmel. How's your boyfriend Ben Affleck, a-hole?" (8 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "I heard he has a pencil dick" (8 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "Or should I say, Slightly larger a-hole?" (8 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "how he got it in your meat curtains, I will never know" (8 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "I recommend you get a full on body wax" (7 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "Here I was, a faithful girlfriend for five, 'count 'em FIVE years! And you - you MONSTER!" (7 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "you are hairier than a monkey" (7 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "LIAR! You were fucking Hef when I met you!" (7 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "I'd rather do the entire militant order of Barhah than ever see your flabby body naked again!" (7 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "and he's like, a million years old!" (6 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "Bitch! I hired a personal trainer for you!" (6 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "you don't get a three pack set of abs like mine overnight!" (6 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "You should have hired a dentist. You're breath stinks. And you sweat crisco." (6 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "I FAKed you, so that should clear up your herpes!" (5 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "You drink Nyquil for breakfast, so you're one to talk" (5 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "Well at least now I'm free to expand my options. Maybe I'll finally have the big O after all these years." (4 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "Thanks for humiliating me in front of the entire world, you whore" (4 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "not unless you have extra batteries. oh, and I scrubbed the toilet with your toothbrush, not that you use it ever." (4 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "See you on Girls Gone Wild....." (3 minutes ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "and I want my crock pot back." (3 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "You mean your swedish penis pump? That's your code for it right? It doesn't work - you're still microscopic." (2 minutes ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "This was the finest piece you'll ever see baby. So when you're alone and spanking, remember what you're missing." (1 minute ago) ...and again. (58 seconds ago)
  • Jimmy Kimmel said "Missing? No one's missed your twat, you sling it all over town!" (28 seconds ago)
  • Sarah Silverman said "Take that, jerkface. I can't believe I wasted my early 30s on you!" (12 seconds ago)




Premium Episodes

HIST Premium Episodes

Don't miss these premium episodes from the Late Night TV Crue

Hell Hath No Fury Tour

SarahFury.jpg

Go to The Sarah Silverman Program to learn more!


New Locketside Valkyries

NLV.jpg

Read more about the New Locketside Valkyries campaign.

Episode Recap Archives

HIST Episode Recaps

Reordered so most recent is on TOP - stupid fat Jimmy wasn't allowed to be there, because I nearly suffocated every time.


January 23, 2008's broadcast

January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!

December 29th: Happy Holidays

November 20th: Branching out a little further...

November 9th: The Bash Cracks Corn But Jimmy don't care...

November 7th: Dateline: The Hospital Of Loserdom

November 7th: Grrrr!!!

November 2nd: And the Rubicon is Crossed...

October 19th: Killing, Dead or Alive

October 17th: A bit of a detour

October 15th: What a lovely weekend!!

October 8th: Spies!! Oh NOES!!

October 3rd: What a lovely day for a massacre!




Policies and Tags

Except Sarah. I may or may not abide by these as it suits me. So there you go. --Sarah Silverman 17:08, 6 August 2008 (BST)


Hat.jpg Honor Among Thieves
This user or group supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.
UD PKA.gif PKER ALLIANCE
This user or group is associated with The PKer Alliance
Pubcrawl.gif "I swear to drunk officer! I'm not God!"
This user or group did the watermelon crawl, bar hop, and pub shuffle across Malton in 2007 with a bunch of inebreated murderers and got totally hammered.
151 Silent Night Slaughter
Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho! This user or group caroled and celebrated with the residents of Fort Creedy on Christmas Eve in December 2007!!!
Fortcreedyruined.PNG Destroyer Of Hope
This user or group had a hand in the First Ruining of Fort Creedy since Kevan fixed the forts. 'Twas a great day. Survivors screamed, zombies feasted, and murderers bathed in the blood of the innocent. Barhah! Praise be to Zeko!

... 7695

^^^


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